The Hard Way

by Katie Ashley

  “Yes, it is. It’s totally fixable, okay? I promise.”

  I stood up, which caused the vomit to slide down my shirt onto my jeans. Maddie rushed over to the couch. She yanked the blanket covering Josh and quickly started patting me down. When her hand dipped below my waist and brushed across my crotch, I gasped. Raising my gaze to the ceiling, I silently willed my dick not to get the wrong idea and spring into action.

  Maddie flushed bright red from her cheeks all the way down to her neck while stumbling away from me. “Oh, um, I’m s-sorry.”

  “It’s okay.”

  She quickly turned her attention away from me and started patting Josh down. Luckily for him, he only had a little on the top of his Scooby Doo pajamas. The rest had managed to hit me and the blanket.

  Once Josh was cleaned up, Maddie turned to me. “Why don’t I get you something to change into?”

  “Okay.”

  “Come on,” she said, motioning for me to follow her. We left Josh for a moment as we headed down the hall to her parent’s bedroom. She flicked on the light in the closet and started rifling through her father’s things. Pastor Dan was a big, muscular dude, so the clothes were gonna be a little awkward.

  Maddie handed me a shirt. “I’ll find you some shorts, too,”

  “Thanks,” I replied. Without thinking, I tore my puke- stained shirt off. Maddie momentarily stopped searching the racks to stare at me. Not just the way you’d look at somebody who happened to be undressing in front of you, but more like somebody you wanted to be undressing. I’d never seen that look in her eyes before, and I had to admit, I totally dug it. A whole reel of fantasy images flickered through my mind of her running her hands over my bare chest or kissing a wet trail down to my…FUCK! Get a grip, Pervert! Her sick brother just puked on you, and she’s just trying to help you, not screw you!

  My sex-fiend thoughts were forgotten as Maddie’s face turned beet red when she finally realized she was openly ogling me. “S-Sorry.” She thrust a pair of gym shorts at me.

  “Thanks.”

  Because she looked so cute and sexy when she blushed, I brought my hands to the button of my jeans. Her eyes widened, and she flushed all the way down her neck. “I better go check on Josh,” she muttered and then quickly breezed past me. Inwardly I groaned as the delicious and dangerously sexy scent of her perfume invaded my nostrils. It was like a jumpstart to my groin each and every time.

  She practically sprinted out in the hallway before I could say anything. I smiled as I changed into the shorts. When I got back to the living room, she’d already gotten Josh a change of pajamas and a new blanket was covering him.

  “All better?” I asked.

  “I think so.”

  “So where’s your mom and dad?” I asked.

  A funny look came over Maddie’s face. “They, uh, had to take care of some business—um, church business, so I told them I’d watch Josh.”

  I could tell there was something she wasn’t telling me, but I let it go. I noticed Josh was peering up at me. “What is it, Little Man?”

  “Will you sing for me like you did at Jake’s funeral?”

  “What?” I asked in surprise.

  “It’s just Daddy always sings to me after I have a treatment—you know so I can go to sleep.”

  I glanced over at Maddie, and she smiled. “Well, I don’t know…”

  “Please?”

  Geez, what could I say? “No, Little Man, I’m just not feeling it this afternoon?” Yeah, that would make me an unimaginable asshole.

  “Okay, I guess I could. What do you want me to sing?”

  “Know any John Lennon?”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Course I do—do you?”

  Josh gave me a wide grin, showing the gap from one of his newly lost teeth. “Yeah, he’s one of my daddy’s favorites.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Uh, huh. You know Beautiful Boy?”

  “Yeah, I know it,” I replied. Warmth filled me because it was one of my mom’s favorite songs. She loved for me to play it because she said it was exactly how she felt about me. She also had me change all the times John mentioned “daddy” to “mommy”.

  “Will you play it then? Daddy plays that one for me a lot.”

  “Okay.”

  Maddie went to her dad’s office and came back with a shiny Gibson Southern Jumbo. “Wow, nice,” I mused.

  She smiled. “It’s Daddy’s treasure.”

  I gently took it from her. “I promise to be very careful.” After I eased down in the chair next to the couch, I took the pick out of the top and then stared down at the strings. My body shuddered as I realized the last time I’d held a guitar in my hands was at Jake’s funeral. If I closed my eyes, I could almost hear the symphony of weeping and or smell the sickening aroma of all the flowers.

  “Noah?” Maddie questioned.

  “Uh, I’m sorry…I haven’t played in a while,” I replied as I started strumming a few opening chords. As I focused on the music, I tried desperately to push away the suffocating pain ricocheting through my chest at the thought of Jake and his funeral.

  Instead, I focused on entertaining Josh. With rapt attention, he kept his eyes on me for most of the song. Of course, they started drooping by the end of the first chorus, and by the end of the song, he was asleep. I glanced up at Maddie. A strange look flickered in her eyes before she smiled at me. “Thanks,” she whispered.

  “No problem,” I replied.

  She motioned me towards the kitchen where we could talk. “I’m really sorry about your clothes and all. I can wash them for you if you want,” she offered.

  “Really, it’s not a big deal at all, so please don’t apologize. Things like that happen when you’re sick.”

  “Yeah, they do.”

  I shifted on my feet before nervously raking my hand through my hair. “Listen Maddie, I came over here because I wanted to ask you something.”

  “You did?”

  I nodded. “My mom is getting married two weeks from Saturday, and I wanted to know if you’d like to go with me.”

  Her eyes widened as she gazed skeptically at me. “As your date?”

  “Of course.”

  “Sure, I’d love to,” she replied with a smile.

  “Great.”

  “So does this mean you’re okay with the wedding and all?”

  Leave it to Maddie to always play Dr. Phil. “I’m still not thrilled with the prospect, but I’m learning to deal with it.”

  “Because you know your mom will be happy?”

  “Yeah, something like that.”

  She nodded. “I know what you mean. My parents have so much going on with Josh and with…” She hesitated like she was going to say something but then thought the better of it. “I just try to think of things I can do to make them happier, but it’s hard.” She smiled ruefully. “That’s why I work so hard to keep my act together—the last thing they need is me worrying them.”

  I bit my lip before I finally asked her what was on my mind. “Um, Maddie, is there something besides Josh’s illness going on?”

  Playing with the hem of her t-shirt, she asked, “What do you mean?”

  “You’re just acting a little funny—like about your parents being gone. I just wondered if everything was okay.”

  She sighed. “No, it’s not okay. It’s about my brother.”

  “Josh?”

  “No, my older brother, Will.”

  My eyebrows rose in surprise. “I didn’t know you had another brother. Is he away at college or something?”

  Pain flickered on Maddie’s face. “No, he’s in Charter Peachford for drug addiction.”

  I swayed a little on my feet. Pastor Dan had a son who was a drug addict? The idea was almost too hard to comprehend. Maddie and Josh were practically Stepford Children. It was hard believing there was a bad seed in the perfect Parker gene pool.

  “I’m sorry, Maddie. I didn’t know.”

  “It’s okay.”

>   “How long has he been an addict?” I asked.

  “On and off for five years. He started experimenting when he was fifteen, and it went from there. He hit the really hard stuff about a year and a half ago. After he lost his scholarship and he dropped out of college, we finally did an intervention, kinda like that show on TV.”

  I nodded.

  “That’s when he went into treatment. But he’ll stay for a while and then leave. He comes home and tells us he’s better, but he’s really not. Mom and Dad refuse to let him come around anymore because it’s too hard on Josh—both physically and emotionally.” Maddie sighed. “It’s hard on all of us.”

  I reached over to tenderly rub her cheek. “I’m so sorry, Maddie.”

  The moment I touched her, she jumped like she’d been shocked. We stared at each other, barely blinking or breathing. Finally, Maddie murmured, “Thanks.”

  I wanted to say more, but I didn’t know what. “If you ever need to talk, I’m here.”

  She gave me a weak smile. “That’s sweet of you, Noah. I appreciate it.”

  I nodded, but my heart ached for her at that moment. I wanted so much to help her—to take the worry and burden off of her, but I didn’t know how. More than anything, I wanted to draw her into my arms—to somehow physically shield her from all the sorrow surrounding her. But I didn’t. Instead, I shoved my hands in my pockets to keep from touching her.

  “Well, I guess I better go. Tell your mom and dad I said hello, okay?”

  “I will. Thanks again for everything.” She handed me the bag with my puke clothes that were utterly reeking.

  As I headed out to my Jeep, my mind was whirling. Josh’s face flashed before my mind, then Maddie’s, and then the Parker’s. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to do something for Josh. I wanted to be his personal Make a Wish Foundation. I tried thinking of something that would blow him away, and then it hit me.

  He was a baseball fanatic, and there was nothing more he would want than to meet his idol. The more my mind raced with emotions, I thought about the cash strapped Parker’s, and I wanted to do something for them. In the end, all roads led to Mr. Baseball himself, Joe Preston.

  The last time I’d seen my father I was seven. He was on a four-day game stint in Atlanta and staying at a friend’s house on Lake Lanier. He’d asked Mom if he could have me come and stay with him. It was the longest I’d ever been with him. Up until that point in my life, he’d drop in for a couple of hours at a time, play with me a little, and then bail.

  I remember being absolutely beside myself with excitement as Mom packed up my clothes in my Power Rangers suitcase. Even Jake was pumped about my dad’s visit. “Will you get me his autograph?” he’d asked.

  But as bouncing off the walls as I was, I didn’t notice that Mom wasn’t sharing in my excitement. I would never forget the look on her face when my dad came to pick me up in a BMW convertible with a curvy blonde in the front seat. I might’ve been a kid, but I did appreciate the fact Tiffany wore low cut shirts and short skirts the entire weekend!

  It was a whirlwind four days that would’ve been any kids dream—going to the baseball park every day, staying up late, going to the zoo, the movies, getting to swim in the lake, and riding through the city with the top down.

  My dad took me to meet the team, and I even got to hang out in the dugout during batting practice. It was the first time in my life someone said, “Damn, Joe, he’s the spitting image of you!” I did look like my father, but it was something no one in my family would ever acknowledge. Poor Mom—it must’ve been a double edged sword to love someone so much who looked like someone you hated.

  I ate my weight in junk food. Unlike Mom, my dad never harped on me to eat vegetables, and I got ice cream at every meal—even if I didn’t clean my plate. It was absolute heaven, and I didn’t want it to end. When it was time to go, I pitched a fit and cried like a spoiled little brat.

  My dad knelt down beside me. “Hey kid, don’t cry. We’ll do this again real soon, I promise.”

  I nodded my head, but I was unsure if I really believed him. Mom came to pick me up at the lake house. Dad leaned over and kissed her on the cheek and told her how beautiful she looked. He said something about the two of them getting together the next time he was in town, but Mom didn’t reply. Now that I’m older, I realize what the douchebag was alluding to about getting together. Yeah, nothing like a booty call with the mother of your child.

  On the way home, I talked ninety miles a minute, filling my mom in on every detail—well, everything that wouldn’t get me in trouble like the ice cream and staying up late. She would smile and nod as I described every moment of the four days. Finally, when I was finished, I looked over at her. Huge, silent tears dripped off her face.

  And then something turned over in me. I wasn’t mad at Mom for crying at all my excitement. Somehow even at seven, I realized how much he’d hurt her. She wasn’t trying to be selfish—she was just a twenty-three year old girl still desperately in love with the prick who’d knocked her up and dumped her.

  The more I thought about it, I realized she’d been the one who’d gotten up with me during the night, who’d rocked me for hours when I was sick or cranky, who’d sing to me when I was scared, and kiss the bruises to make them go away. She’d sacrificed everything for me—her friends, her dating life, stretch marks…the whole nine yards.

  So I vowed then and there that unless my father wanted both of us, I’d never speak to him again. Mom argued with me over and over again. “Noah, Mommy is okay with you going to see your daddy, I promise. Please don’t do this!” she’d beg when I’d refuse his phone calls. She even forced me to talk to him a few times, but Granddaddy told her it wasn’t a good idea to do that to me.

  Finally, my dad stopped calling me. He would talk to Mom occasionally. So, like I did with everything else, I pushed the pain deep inside. I turned to my Granddaddy and to my uncles, and they became everything I needed—for a while. But I couldn’t run anymore. I was almost a man, and I needed to face the skeletons of my past.

  When I got home, I found the house dark. I breathed a sigh of relief to find the cheek pincher gone. There was a note on the counter.

  Noah,

  Greg and I have gone to have dinner at the Country Club and to finalize the menu for the

  reception. There’s some leftover chicken casserole in the fridge if you get hungry.

  Love ya,

  Mom

  I was kind of glad I had the house all to myself. I needed absolute quiet and privacy for what I was about to do. Without turning on any lights, I padded down the hallway to the office. On the desk was my mother’s black address book. Flipping through the pages, I stopped when I got to the P’s.

  My heart pounded in my ears, and my fingertips were so sweaty I could barely dial the numbers. When I finished, I shakily brought the receiver to my ear. He answered on the third ring. “Hello?”

  For a moment, I couldn’t find my voice. I sat paralyzed in the desk chair, trembling all over like a little girl. Get it together, dickwad! I thought to myself.

  Finally, I mustered my strength. “Uh, hey, you don’t really know me, but this is Noah—your son.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  I’d barely eased to a stop in the Parker’s driveway when Josh came sprinting up to my Jeep. He was outfitted in a baseball cap, and he was wearing my dad’s jersey. I couldn’t help but laugh at the way he was squirming all over like a puppy.

  “Hey, Little Man, ready for the game?”

  “Oh yeah!”

  Maddie came out onto the porch. “Josh, you better get back here. You know what Mom and Dad said about putting on sunscreen.”

  Josh rolled his eyes. “All right,” he grumbled before starting back for the porch.

  Damn, she looked fine as hell in her Sporty Spice game mode attire. Her long dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Praise God it was hot as hell as outside because she was wearing a rather revealing tank top and short-s
horts. I glanced down at my crotch while thinking, “Down boy, don’t even think about it!”

  Maddie started lathering Josh down with SPF 50—first all over his arms and legs, and then finally, she took his cap off and started on his bald head. I couldn’t help snickering.

  “What?” she demanded.

  “Don’t you think you’re overdoing it a little? He looks like he’s wearing a cream colored toupee!”

  Josh giggled, but Maddie shot me a death glare. “No, I don’t think I’m overdoing it.”

  “Okay, okay,” I said. I winked at Josh, and he tried to stifle his laughter.

  Once Maddie had sufficiently slathered two or three coats of sunscreen on Josh, we were ready to go. I helped him get in the back of the Jeep, and then I held the door open for Maddie.

  “Thanks,” she said.

  “You’re welcome.”

  Finally we got on the road. It wasn’t long before we were cruising down the interstate towards Turner Field. As the skyscrapers came into view, Josh unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned forward. “We’re almost there!” he squealed.

  “Josh, put your seatbelt back on. It’s not like you’ve never been to Atlanta,” Maddie ordered.

  He reluctantly slid back and fastened it again. It was kind of fun having someone so enthusiastic along for the ride. It was certainly easing my nerves a little since today I would be seeing my dad for the first time in ten years.

  The call had set a lot of things in motion. It just so happened that my dad had a few upcoming games in Atlanta. When I told him about Josh, he offered to meet me at the stadium, and I’d agreed. He said he would take care of the details like the tickets and all, and then we could see each other after the game. Like a true egomaniac, he’d picked the one he was pitching in of course for us to come to.

  As Turner Field came into view, Josh could barely contain himself. “There it is! There it is!” he cried.

  “Yeah Little Man, we’re almost there,” I said.

  I exited off the interstate and followed the line of cars to a parking lot. A guy flagged us inside, and I rolled down the window and handed him a ten. By the time I pulled the Jeep into a spot, Josh was already out of his seatbelt and impatiently waiting for Maddie to get out.