Wrecker

by Winter Travers

  “You see him get upset about it, babe?” Wrecker drawled.

  “Well, no.” But it still wasn’t nice to tell him to do something and give him a ridiculous deadline that he wasn’t going to make.

  He rested his forearms on the bar and leaned toward me. “That’s why you call me Mr. President, babe.” He winked and nudged my glass toward me. “Finish that and I’ll see what I can mix up for you ‘til the champagne and OJ gets here.”

  I glared at him but downed the rest of my water. He so wasn’t going to get a blow job now.

  “It’s about damn time auntie Alice got here.” Karmen’s voice carried across the room.

  “Oh girl, you are going to get it now. Karmen is on the rampage about you not hauling your cookies to Weston sooner.” Cora slipped off her stool and rounded the bar. “Out of my way, old man. I need a drink, and since you’re only serving your chick, I need to get my own.”

  I slowly spun around and plastered yet another huge smile on my face. “Hi!” I yelled two octaves higher than I normally spoke. “You had a baby!”

  She had one of those baby basket things at her feet, but I couldn't see inside. It was turned backward so all I could see was the blue canopy thing that had little airplanes all over it. I wasn’t very good at the whole baby thing.

  Karmen rolled her eyes. “How nice of you to notice.”

  “Told ya. Salty as hell.” Cora cleared her throat. “I’m gonna make some french fries. You think you could come over here and throw some of that salty attitude all over them?”

  Wrecker chuckled behind me, and Nikki snorted.

  “You’re cut out of being his godmother.”

  Cora scoffed. “You take that away ten times a day. I really don’t think you’ll actually do it.”

  “Do godmothers really do anything besides spoil the shit out of the kid and then send him home?” Nikki whispered. “Sounds like you got out of a pretty expensive deal.”

  “They do more than that,” Karmen insisted. “If Nickel and I both die, you have to take care of Cole.”

  “All three of us? Together?” I asked. “So, we’re like lesbian mothers raising your kid in the wild?”

  Karmen lifted up the carrier thing. “I don’t know what I was thinking picking you three. I should have just picked Wren. She takes it much more serious than you guys.” She set the carrier on the couch and pushed back the canopy. “Are you going to come see him or are you actually giving up your godmother rights?”

  I hopped off my stool and strolled over to the couch. “Fair warning, I have zero baby experience. I was an only child, and I had no cousins.” I could count on one hand the amount of times I had held a baby in my arms. “Even my cabbage patch doll died a miserable death in the garbage truck. I had stuck her in there thinking she needed to take a nap since it was dark in there. I had forgotten it was garbage day.” I signed a cross over my chest and kissed my fingers. “Rest in peace, Princess Cow Turtle.”

  Karmen unbuckled Cole from the car seat and lifted him up into her arms. “You named your doll Princess Cow Turtle?”

  I nodded and got the first glimpse of Cole. “Oh, he’s sure cute, even with that huge string of drool hanging from his mouth.”

  “Mommy really needs to get some new friends,” she whispered. “You up for holding him?”

  “You just have to promise not to set him down in the garbage can,” Cora called. “We couldn’t have anything tragic happen to Cole like it did for poor Princess Cow Turtle.”

  I gently grabbed Cole from Karmen and cradled him in my arms. “Oh, I don’t think I could ever put this little guy down,” I cooed. He had dark mahogany hair like Karmen, Nickel’s nose, and the cutest little outfit I have ever seen before. His eyes were closed, and he looked so peaceful. “How is he still sleeping?”

  “He eats, sleeps, and poops, Alice. I changed and fed him before I came over, so all he has to do right now is sleep and grow.”

  “I need to be a baby,” Nikki called. “Sounds like one hell of a life.”

  “Can I sit down with him?” I asked. I was terrified to walk with him, let alone lower myself onto the couch.

  Karmen motioned to the couch. “Yeah, just keep his head supported.”

  “Five minutes,” Pipe called.

  “Five minutes for what?” Nickel asked. He walked into the clubhouse with dark blue bag on his shoulder and pushing a stroller. He looked like a badass biker dad. Cole was going to be one of the coolest kids in school with having parents like Karmen and Nickel.

  “Freak had fifteen minutes to go to the liquor store or he would have to clean Wrecker’s bike,” Pipe laughed.

  “That’s a shitty deal. You’ve been riding back and forth to Kales Corners so I’m sure she’s just plastered full of bugs.” Nickel dropped the bag at Karmen’s feet and parked the stroller by the door. “You really think we need to bring the stroller in with us no matter where we go?” he asked Karmen.

  “I have no idea. I just keep reading that we should be prepared for anything to happen. Who knows when I might need the stroller.” Karmen sat down next to me and gave a little wave to sleeping Cole. “I think he finally recognizes me, though that maybe all in my head. He seems happy to see me all the time.”

  “I bet it’s gas,” Cora snickered.

  “And he’s sleeping so I’m not sure how you are measuring the fact that he recognizes you,” Nikki snickered.

  “Taken away,” Karmen hollered.

  “Shh,” I hushed. I didn’t want Cole to wake up because then I had no idea what to do with him. When he was a sleeping log in my arms, I could handle him. “Sleep forever, little boy.” Or at least until he was old enough to walk.

  “So,” Karmen drawled. “Where have you been? I thought for sure you would be here with cowbells on the day Cole was born.”

  I kept my eyes on Cole. “I was busy with a couple of things.”

  “Things like getting it on with Wrecker,” Nikki snickered.

  “Shut. Up,” Karmen said, astounded. “You’re getting it on with the beard?”

  I wasn’t the only one who was rather taken aback with his beard. “Um, yeah.” Oh, how I wish Karmen would have been here when I went over this with Nikki and Cora.

  “Well, hot damn. You landed yourself a president, girlfriend.” Karmen held her hand up for me to high five, but I was too terrified to move either of my hands.

  “Uh, raincheck on the high five ‘til I give away your baby.”

  “Keep him away from garbage cans,” Cora called again. She was on a damn roll today.

  “So what else has been going on with you?”

  I rolled my eyes. They were all acting like they hadn’t seen me in months when it had actually only been a couple of weeks. “Working and uh, hanging out with Wrecker.”

  “Made it!” Freak blew into the clubhouse with three bags on each wrist and a huge smile on his face. “Thirty seconds to spare.”

  “What is he talking about?” Karmen whispered.

  “Wrecker was being a dick to him, but for some odd reason, he enjoyed it.” Cole gave a little whimper, and I froze, not knowing what to do.

  Karmen laughed. “Breathe, Alice. He’s just getting comfy.”

  “As long as he stays asleep, I’ll be fine.” Once this guy cracked open his eyes, he was going straight back to his momma. I was getting anxiety from holding his sleeping little body. I would probably pass out when he woke up. I was rather pathetic when it came to babies. They were completely dependent on me, and let’s be honest here, I was not one to rely on for anything besides pouring a strong drink.

  Wrecker walked over to the couch and looked down at me. “You good?”

  That was a tough question. For the moment, I was good, but that could all change in a split second. “Uh, I think for now I am. You want a baby?” Please say yes.

  He chuckled and shook his head. “I’m good, babe. I gotta grab some shit and talk to the guys.”

  He was going to leave me alone. Crap. But why
was it scary to be left alone? These were my friends. Deep breath, Alice. “Okie dokie. I’ll be right here sitting like a statue, hoping this baby doesn’t wake up.”

  He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Holler if you need me, babe. I won’t be far,” he whispered.

  I nodded and tried not to let the tears that were clogging my throat seep out. “‘Kay.”

  Wrecker headed down the hallway that led to all the guys’ bedrooms.

  I sniffled and looked down at Cole.

  “Are you crying?” Karmen whispered.

  Shit. Shitshitshitshitshitshit. “Uh, no. Of course not. I just have something in my eye.” I tried to move my hand to wipe my face, but I didn’t know how to hold Cole with just one arm. Man, I sure was a rookie when it came to this baby stuff.

  “Girl Gang assemble,” Karmen called.

  “Wait, what?” I mumbled.

  Cora muttered under her breath, and Nikki clapped her hands together like a happy seal. “I love when we do this. Though normally, we only do it when we’re drinking so now that we actually have something to talk about, I am uber excited.”

  Cora sat down in the chair opposite the couch, and Nikki sat on the other side of me. “I feel like we should call Wren because she should be put through this torture too,” Cora mumbled.

  “Torture?” Karmen glared at Cora.

  She held up her hands and shrugged. “Hey, hey. So, torture might be a bit too harsh.” She pulled out her phone. “Perhaps Wren should be a part of this amazing…thing.” She wrinkled her nose and looked down at her phone.

  “Sometimes, I wonder if you even have a heart, Cora,” Nikki laughed.

  “I do,” Cora mumbled. “It’s black and matches my soul.”

  Karmen clapped her hands twice. “Can we please focus on Alice.”

  “We really don’t need to focus on me.” I nodded my head down at Cole. “We should all be focused on this little potato right here.”

  Nikki pursed her lips. “Uh, potato?”

  Cora cracked up laughing. “Oh, my God,” she wheezed. “I have never seen a person more uncomfortable around a baby before.”

  Karmen gently lifted Cole from my arms and sat back in the couch with him laid out on her chest. “Spill the beans, woman,” she ordered. “I wanna know how Wrecker managed to fall into your bed without any of us having the slightest clue about it.”

  Cora raised her hand. “I didn’t know it was going on, but I’m not as shocked as you two are. She’s hot in that crazy kind of way, and Wrecker is a good-looking guy. It’s really not crazy at all that they ended up together. Total yin and yang.”

  “That is the smartest thing I have ever heard you say.” Nikki held her hand up. “Across the room high five.” Cora raised her hand, and they pretended to high five.

  “No, no, no. I seriously can’t be the only one who is quite honestly blown away by this. I just need to know how this happened. Why did it happen? Do you actually want it to be happening? That man is the complete opposite of you, Alice.”

  I shifted uncomfortably on the couch. If I called for Wrecker right now, I knew he would come running, but that would just cause more problems with Nikki, Karmen, and Cora. “I don’t know, Karmen. He came over, and now he just keeps coming over.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I am going to need a ton more information than that.”

  “I already found out that she likes the beard thing when they’re kissing. That was the thing I was massively curious about.”

  “I wanna know how it feels on other parts.” Cora wiggled her eyebrows. “I know I’m not the only one thinking that.”

  I turned around to look at the bar. “I’m gonna make a round of drinks. Everyone want one?” I asked.

  A chorus of “yes” went up, and I walked behind the bar.

  “Do you like him?” Karmen asked.

  I grabbed four glasses and filled them halfway with ice. “I think liking someone is kind of a necessity to want to spend time with them in and out of bed.”

  “Not true,” Cora yelled. “I would much prefer boinking a guy I didn’t know than do it with a guy I have to see every day.”

  “That’s just because you haven’t met a guy you want to hang out with. You need to get out of the club life and see what else there is out in the world.” Karmen wagged her finger at Cora.

  “Says the woman who is fully immersed in the club life. The problem with the club guys is they are all bossy assholes when not in bed.”

  I grabbed the bottle of champagne and worked on pulling out the cork. “I told Wrecker I only have to listen to him when I don’t have clothes on.”

  “And what did he say to that?” Nikki laughed.

  I tilted my head to the side. “I think he just laughed.”

  “That mountain of a man knows how to laugh?” Karmen shook her head. “That is something I am going to have to see for myself.”

  “I’m sure with Alice around, he’s always laughing,” Cora quipped.

  I filled each glass more than halfway with champagne then added a splash of OJ. “I’ve been known to crack a joke or two.” My whole life seemed to be a joke. But lately, the jokes hadn’t had the same zing to them. “Come get your drinks, bitches.”

  “Bring me mine. I don’t want to wake up Cole.”

  I grabbed Karmen’s and left the other two on the bar. “So, you two bitches have to get your own. You guys didn’t push a baby out of your hoo-ha last I checked.”

  “I got you, girl,” Cora told Nikki. “I see how it is around here now.”

  “So, is that all we assembled for?” Nikki asked.

  “Something is different about Alice.” Karmen tapped her finger to her chin and looked up at me.

  “Yeah, I haven’t had a drink yet and you’re hindering that by not taking yours out of my hand.” I moved her drink closer to her. “Take the damn thing, woman.”

  She shook her head. “Nope, that isn’t it.”

  I rolled my eyes and set her glass on the beat-up coffee table. “Can we move on from me, hmm?” I plopped down on the couch and kicked my feet up. “If I’m the most exciting thing going on in your lives, then we really need to do something to shake that shit up.”

  Nikki grabbed the drink Cora held out to her. “She popped a baby out of her vajayjay, and I’ve been decorating my house. I really don’t know what Cora does all day.”

  “Oh, you guys are taking an interest in me now? How nice.”

  We all waited for her to tell us what she did. It really was a mystery. She didn’t have a job, and she seemed to always be locked away in her room at the clubhouse.

  “You sell tiny statues of elephants.”

  Cora blinked slowly. “Say what?”

  I shrugged and took a swig of my drink. “Hey, it was the first thing that popped into my head.”

  “Do you actually use logic when you open your mouth, or just let it fly?”

  “Oh, oh. I know what you do,” Nikki sat forward on the couch. “You’re one of those sex operators. You know, the ones that can get a guy off with only talking to them.”

  Cora pointed her finger at Nikki. “Completely wrong, but much more believable than selling elephants.”

  “Statues of elephants. Not actual elephants,” I clarified.

  “Well, that makes all the difference in the world,” Karmen laughed.

  “So, we know you’re not a phone sex operator or elephant smuggler. Spill the beans, woman,” Nikki insisted.

  “Statues,” I mumbled.

  “I’m an editor.”

  We all stared at Cora.

  For a long time.

  “You just blew my mind,” Karmen whispered.

  “When you say editor, what exactly do you mean?” Nikki asked.

  “People send me their manuscripts, I read them over, make notes of changes and shit, then send it back to them,” Cora explained.

  I turned to Nikki. “How is it that none of us knew this?”

  “‘Cause we’re shitt
y friends,” Karmen cried.

  Nikki and I both shifted away from Karmen. “Why is she crying?” I whispered.

  “I think this is her hormones out of whack. Pipe told me yesterday Nickel has no idea what to do with her.” We both took a sip of our drinks and stared at Karmen.

  I wasn’t good at dealing with people’s emotions. To me, the best way to deal with Karmen freaking out was pouring her another drink and possibly ordering a pizza.

  “Uh, you don’t have to cry ‘cause you didn’t know what I did for work. It’s not anything we've talked about before so you’re all good.” Cora clicked her tongue and winked at Karmen. “Dry your weird ass tears and drink your drink. You’re going to scare your baby.”

  My eyes darted to Cole, thankful he was still fast asleep even though his mom was on a weird emotional trip right now.

  “Oh, what the hell? I thought she was getting better.” Nickel walked into the clubhouse and grabbed Cole from Karmen. “Baby, what the hell are you crying about now?”

  Karmen waved her hand at him. “I don’t really know. We were talking and then Cora told us what she did for work and then I started crying.”

  “What the hell does she do for work that it would make you cry?” he demanded.

  “Not a phone sex operator or elephant smuggler.”

  For Christ’s sake, I was never going to live this one down. “Statues,” I repeated.

  Nickel looked even more confused now. “So, what the hell does she do if not that shit?”

  “I’m an editor.”

  Nickel looked her up and down. “The elephants are more believable.”

  Cora threw her head back laughing. “Is it the tattoo covered arms or my shitty personality?”

  “Both,” we all said in unison.

  Cora daintily crossed her legs and held her glass up. “I love surprising the hell out of you fuckers.”

  “What do you edit?” Nickel asked as he swayed back and forth, rocking Cole. Being a parent came natural to him, which was another surprise.

  “Books, jackass. And I make damn good money too.”

  “Who makes good money?” Wrecker called. He walked over to the bar and grabbed the glass of water I had abandoned.