Road To Me

by Erica Andrews

  “So, I was the oldest of four and I happen to be the only boy in my family.”

  Already engrossed, I nodded to let him know I was following along. “Yeah, I could totally see that.”

  “I guess, but as the oldest and only boy I was supposed to take up the mantle so to speak. I was also supposed to marry a certain kinda of person and have certain kind of babies. You know, carry on the family name so to speak. And that’s exactly what I did at first.”

  Not surprised Kasper had been married. I mean most women would have killed just to date him. He was both smart and sexy. Two things women couldn’t resist. “So you’re divorced?” Putting my finger to the side of my mouth, I tapped it like I was thinking and then slowly grinned. “I’m guessing this girl was nothing like me? Cause if she was like me then you’re stupid for leaving such an awesome chick, just to let you know.”

  Kasper burst out laughing. “No, you are definitely not like Nicole, which is a good thing. We got married while we were in college, which was what our parents expected. Not necessarily what we wanted. Stayed married for two years before we realized we made better friends than lovers. Just didn’t want the same thing. She knew what she wanted. I didn’t. Which ended up working out for me, because then the guys moved in so we could finish our degrees together. Also ended up living together until we graduated.”

  “So did you?” I closed the distance between us and whispered, “Did you find what you want?”

  He stared out at the park for so long, I worried he would never answer me when he suddenly faced me again. The warmth of his breath touched my lips. “This, I want this right here.”

  “You do have it though, you have me, and you have a family. I mean a close family. You have a family with Dean and Damon.”

  Using his finger to trace my lip, he asked, “Do I have you though?”

  I stopped the movement of his finger so I could answer his question. “You do as a friend and heaven help me as something more, too.”

  A quick kiss then he retreated to his earlier position. “What about you, what do you want?”

  Still feeling the slight pressure of his lips on mine, I was off balance. How could he ask me such a serious question, after doing what he did? Giving myself a mental shake, I tried to put thought into his question. Besides the night before with Dean, I’d hadn’t really put things out there verbally. “I want to get to know me, to know all about who the real Kelly Green is. To have friends who are loyal, and to have a dog.”

  He laughed. “A dog?”

  Aww. There it was. That was what was amusing him.

  I puffed my chest, all set to defend said fictional dog. I was very pro-dog. “Yeah, a dog. What’s wrong with a dog?”

  He shook his head, still smiling. “Dogs weren’t allowed at our house, too messy my mother would say, really any pet was too messy to her, so we just never had one.”

  That was so sad. Who didn’t love dogs? Cats, I understood, they could be real bastards. “Wait. You’ve never had a dog? That’s kind of sad. I mean I at least had a little mutt named Moomoo.”

  Barking out a laugh he asked, “Moomoo?”

  Slightly embarrassed, which was why I usually didn’t tell people her name I explained defensively. “Yeah, Moomoo, I was five when we got her. She was black and white, like a cow, but she was small like a cat. Hence Moomoo. She was actually quite adorable.”

  “I bet that she was.” He cleared his throat. “An interesting dog. Very unique I’m sure.”

  The need to puff my chest out rose again. “She was interesting and an odd dog but lovable. She slept on my bed every night, and she never listened to anyone but me. She was great.” The thought of my dog and being in the park made me nostalgic. I decided to revert to past habits and laid on my stomach with my feet crossed in the air. Kasper grinned then dropped down beside me, knocking into my shoulders repeatedly as he tried to get comfortable. Childishly, I decided to knock him back harder. “Comfortable, yet?”

  “It’s a little bit harder for us men to get comfortable this way.”

  Why did men always assume that they should complain to us women? So you can’t lie flat easy, I can’t always either. One word. Boobs. Though watching him move around allowed me to appreciate other pieces of him that I hadn’t been able to before. “Oh, I’m so sorry, you men have it so rough, said my uterus, now why didn’t you have any kinda pet growing up?”

  The question dropped the playfulness from his eyes, and I almost hated asking. “Uh, well, I guess you could say I had a bird.”

  I wanted to ask, how do you guess you had something. But instead I kept it to myself. “What do mean you guess you had a bird?”

  “Well there was this bird, which I had later found out was a warbler, that like to come sit on my window at my house. I’d leave it food on the window sill and then I’d sit and watch it eat. After a while it would come so often for the food that I was able to get it in my room. Which led to me being able to touch it. It stayed till it started to get pretty cold and I guess it had to do whatever those birds do. Anyways, I never saw it again.”

  He brushed off the story like it wasn’t a big deal. But if it wasn’t, why would he want to tell me about his bird? It was hard to imagine a young Kasper, broken-hearted over a bird. It made me want to buy him a bird right now, if it would make him feel better. Instead, all I could do right then was try to cheer him up. “Well, if I ever get a pet bird, I’ll share her with you.”

  He turned his head to the side and pushed the hair out of his face. Our shoulders connected as he nudged pressed against with his shoulders. “Thanks.”

  To divert the awkward silence and my discomfort about how close we were getting, I rolled over and gazed up at the sky. Sometimes I forgot how beautiful it really was. Kasper sat up and started brushing off his jeans. Still lying on my back, I hoped he understood what I wanted without me saying anything. In one fluid motion, I found Kasper standing with a smile upon his face. Maybe he understood then. His shadow blocked the sun from my eyes and it allowed me to see the hand he held out to me. My gaze lingered on the hand offered. “What?”

  “Dance with me.”

  Nope, he did not understand. This was the opposite of ignoring what was happening. This was full diving into the deep, and I wasn’t wearing a life jacket.

  Maybe my ears were broken and I heard him wrong. “Here, in the middle of the park?”

  Not saying anything, he nodded and curled his fingers in a come hither motion.

  I floundered. I was sinking and sinking fast. What kind of woman tried to ignore her feelings and didn’t want a guy to woo her? This one apparently. I tried one more time. “There’s not even any music on”

  Without lowering his hand, he reached in his back pocket and fiddled with his phone. The sound of music suddenly filled the air with the country croon of Wanna be that Song by Brett Eldredge, and I stopped fighting. I let my hand lie in his, hoping if I jumped in the deep end, he’d be there to catch me.

  Once my hand landed in his, the dos and don’ts of what I feared fell away. I suddenly didn’t care where we were or the children laughing or runners nearby. Right then it was just me and Kasper. He slowly tugged me to him, putting his arm around my waist. Never had having a man’s hand on my waist for something so innocent seemed so erotic. Just the heat of his hand caused me to shiver. Linking his other hand with mine, he guided my hand to his shoulder and pulled me closer. Catching my gaze with his, he whispered “Ready?”

  Somehow I thought he was talking about more than just the dance. I inhaled and exhaled slowly, ready to face what was before me. Him. “Ready.”

  I started off a little clumsy at first. It was not like I was asked to dance in the park often. Unsurprisingly, Kasper was a natural. Mr. Stone had a lot of talents. He led with a gracefulness and confidence that I wished I could mimic. The longer we danced the more I relaxed. Contentment soon followed. Not trying to think to do much about it I laid my head on his chest, and played with the dark silky s
trands of hair that lay in front of my face. The thump thump of his heart beat soothed away the angst and worry I had about a relationship. I would have loved to stay in that moment, but too soon it would end. And my doubts, worries, and fear would return.

  The song gently segued to the closing bars, but I wished we could have kept going. We stopped moving, but I didn’t pull away. Instead I wanted to wait and see what Kasper did. His hand tightened on the back of my dress, like it is equally hard for him.

  Finally, he released me as if it was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. The heat of his hand barely caressed my back as he glided his touch up to my neck, then finally around to cup my chin. The second our eyes met, his mouth claimed mine in a brutal kiss. So unlike Kasper, at first I was taken back. Quickly I regained control of my senses, just to kiss him back as fiercely. With a desperation that I didn’t even know I had, nor wanted to admit why it was there. Both of us were breathing hard and yet both unwilling to be the first to pull away. Our breaths mingled as we stared and both waited for the other to say something first. I decided to be the first.

  “Well that was… yeah.”

  He choked out a laugh. “That was, yeah?”

  “Well, I mean my brain is kinda short circuited right now, but if you give me an hour to over complicate things and worry through every detail, then I’m sure I can give you nice neutral response. But for now, it’s yeah.”

  He rubbed our noses together softly. “I guess I’ll take yeah then.”

  Keeping it simple was best. “Okay.”

  I pulled back slightly to take in everything around us. Being with Kasper had drowned everything else out. No one noticed two people on a date or whatever we were doing. Before I could turn back, Kasper’s arms encircled my waist and tugged closer. He kept his arm around my waist and moved me to his. Once settled, he kissed the top of my head. “C’mon, let’s get you back home, I told the guys I’d help them in the garage this week and I figure you are wanting to finish things at your house?”

  I nodded. I knew he was right, but I really didn’t want to leave him or here. Sometimes being a responsible adult sucked. There had to be a song out there about how adulting sucked, right? That would totally be my jam this week. After we walked back to the truck hand-in-hand, Kasper helped me climb in. As he shut the door, a feeling of uncertainty swept through me. How intertwined was my life going to be with these boys? How much did I want it?

  I had no idea… but I couldn’t wait to find out.

  Thirteen

  Kelly

  1. I hated sanding, people made that stuff seem easy and they were liars.

  2. I liked dancing in the park.

  3. I also hated to admit that I missed having someone in the house even if it was Trevor the rat.

  I borrowed a bunch of DIY books on furniture from the library after deciding to make a kitchen table to match my coffee area. Don’t ask me why I had this epiphany. It was probably the Bailey’s in my coffee. Dean had said he would help me, but this experience was for me. I needed to see what I could do. Alone. Which I did. Barely.

  I finished though, with some pink and black chairs to match. It wasn’t as easy as the DIY books made it seem. Though with the different colors together it looked nice to me. Though it could be due to all the sweat I put into building it. While working on the table, swearing and cursing had become my Olympic talent. If judged, I was sure that I would have taken home the gold that day.

  I could honestly say I enjoyed the hard work. Not to say, I ever wanted to do it all again. If asked to do another project, I’d probably say fuck it and burn it all. Just because it was rewarding didn’t mean it was fun. Deadpool mug in hand, I sat at my table. Triumph was better than creamer in my coffee. Putting together the furniture I chose, my way, in my place… delicious.

  Three men. I never would had thought I would have three men in my life, to moon over. I meant maybe one, but three? I almost had more questions than answers. My brain could probably work a mile a minute, with different scenarios, questions, and ideas about what was going on between us. How would all of this work? I didn’t have the answers.

  Even now, questions floated through my head.

  I’d now kissed two out of three of the guys, was that considered bad? Yeah, maybe best not to touch that one.

  What did Damon think about all this or did he even know about the kisses? I didn’t think I wanted to know the answer.

  What came after all this, did we stay friends? Hell, I couldn’t answer that one for myself much less for them.

  I drank my coffee, letting the caffeine and the bird’s songs outside my window soothe me. Or I tried to. Inside I was a jumble of unanswered questions, and raw emotions, that I didn’t want to analyze at this point. I gulped down the rest of my coffee, trying not to scald my entire mouth or throat. After putting my mug in the sink, I escaped the unanswered questions and went to shower.

  Slightly sad, I stepped out of the shower reluctantly. I always hated getting out of the shower. I’d probably stay in for hours if I could. But it seemed the water always turned cold, and who would stay in a cold shower? Crazy people that was who. I could probably have the largest water heater there was, and still run out of hot water. I was just thankful I had soaped, scrubbed, and shaved everything before it did. Wouldn’t be the first time I forgot to do it before the water turned chill. So here I was, forced to step out of a wonderful shower and try to find something to wear.

  In my closet, I studied what a few weeks of living on my own had changed. It was like a before and after photo shoot. On one side of the closet, I had the clothes that I brought with me from Alabama. And on the other side, clothes that I’d purchased since arriving. The Alabama side included more formal and business casual wear—all fit for my work at school or to be out with Trevor.

  Everything I’d purchased here were clothes for comfort, for every day, and to simply feel sexy. Though the sexy ones didn’t get much wear time. Today I picked out some camo jeggings that I had gotten here at some upscale store and a black off the shoulder shirt I had brought from Alabama. Meshing the best of both worlds. The old with the new. Now, all I had to do was learn to do that in real life, not the easiest thing I’d ever done. But maybe not the hardest either.

  Once dressed, I decided to put my hair in a bun. Messy bun eat your heart out. Lingering at my make-up table and cataloging all the make-up sitting on top of it. Minimal makeup was probably best. Two things usually happened with me and make-up. It was either perfect or I looked like a porn star at the end of a video. Don’t ask me how I knew that. I’ll just say that my curiosity had gotten the better of me.

  Tonight the guys were coming over to watch TV and to eat take out. I didn’t know what that said about me and my Friday nights. Though some might say having three men at your house and all to yourself was a good thing. I didn’t think I could either confirm or deny that yet. If this became a ritual, I’d get back to you and let you know.

  After I finished my make up, I headed for the living room. Should I clean up or leave it as it was? The lime green bra on the couch was a definite yes to picking up certain areas.

  I turned on the music, though not as loud as last time, because we didn’t want another Damon incident, or did we? Thinking of him and the way he danced made me wonder if they all could dance like that. Or was it just a Damon specialty?

  My mind conjured many images of the three men. Sinful images. Naughty images. Shaking my head, I blinked quickly to erase the temptation and got back on task. I went to the kitchen and opened the cabinets under the sink grabbing all the cleaners that I needed. Which, let’s be honest, was really like two, but somehow there were always like fifteen different bottles of half used cleaners under the sink. After putting the cleaners on the counter, I grabbed the broom and mop. The vibrations from my phone let me know I had gotten a text. I leaned the mop and broom against the wall, then tugged my phone out of my pants. Swiping my finger across the screen I made a mental bet on which of the
three it would be.

  Hey, Butterscotch, we still on for tonight?

  Kasper had texted via a group text with Damon and Dean. I wondered if they knew what Kasper had done yet. Curiosity getting the better of me, I went ahead and replied, deciding to see what everybody else had to say.

  Almost. I was fixing to start cleaning now.

  Instantly, I could see Dean typing.

  You don’t have to clean up for us Princess.

  Sweet, but no. Well now, what would my Southern mama think about that?

  Kasper ever the problem solver texted.

  We could come over and help pick up, it would make things go twice as fast.

  Immediately, Dean replied, Yeah, I’m in, what time should we come over.

  Before I could try to come up with a good enough reason to not have three sexy men clean my house, Damon texted.

  Or you two could offer to take her to the movies or eat somewhere, we don’t always have to go to her house.

  Surprised, I instantly stilled.

  Almost as an afterthought I saw he had texted again.

  Idjits

  I couldn’t stop the laugh that spilled from my mouth. Damon had just used a Supernatural reference. I didn’t know he could even be funny, let alone make a joke. It seemed Mr. Timbers had layers. Many layers. Deep, deep, layers.

  Kasper

  Yeah, we can go to the movies. Butterscotch, would you like that?

  Dean

  Does that mean we are all going?

  Damon, too?

  Damon

  I was going

  But no chick flick

  Kasper

  Shouldn’t we let Kelly decide what we watch?