by Katie Knight
So, when she’d whispered that her kiss was for good luck, the response in his head was You’re my luck, my shooting star, my wish. Of course, he couldn’t say those things though, because he instantly thought back to Jason’s harsh words.
Justine doesn’t love you. She needs a distraction because she can’t have kids of her own. You’ll never really be ours, and I for one, can’t wait until she realizes it too. Hell, your biological mom didn’t even want you, why would we?
Ben blistered at the memory. He rarely thought of Justine and Jason now, or his biological mother who had left him, but their impact was always there, lingering beneath the surface of all his insecurities, negative thoughts, and self-doubts. All of his worst qualities came from people he should’ve been able to count on. Jason’s complete disregard for him and endlessly cruel taunting would’ve been enough to screw him up for life, but then when he found out Jason was right—that Justine was happy to leave him behind when something better came along? The experience had torn his last shred of hope for the chance of having a normal life. His last hope of finding a family to call his own.
Megan used to talk about the family they’d someday have. And sometimes, he would get so caught up in the dream that he couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like. Exchanging meaningful vows with her, and making a home together. Megan’s belly rounding with their growing child. Dinner eaten around the kitchen table each night with the people he loved. He’d never wanted anything more in his entire life than he wanted those dreams to come true, and because of that, they also scared him to death. When he realized that what he was fantasizing about was all an illusion, it would feel as though Jason was back from the dead, whispering taunts in his ear.
Damn. He had to get out of his own head. Why was he dwelling on this? He already knew he was damaged. Used. Incapable of giving Megan what she needed. His chest tightened so painfully, he nearly stopped in his tracks. The thought of another man with her nearly choked him. He wanted her to be happy, though, and he wasn’t sure the person who could put a smile on her face long term was him.
“Steele,” Rowe said from behind him. “Is that the embankment you mentioned earlier? The one that leads directly to the rock formation?”
He was starting to think of Rowe like his commander. They shared similar qualities and a dry tone that was nearly impossible to imagine doing anything other than delegating duties. Nope, Rowe was definitely not a sing-in-the-shower type of guy.
“That’s right. This is the last leg of the trail. When we were up here earlier, Slocum and his son were seated around the fire, while Logan was in a back corner. The space was small, so it wouldn’t be a stretch to think they’re in a similar formation. They’re also backed into a wall. If we go in firing, there’s nowhere for them to hide, although they appeared to have one hell of an arsenal at their disposal. Still, I’m not comfortable taking any risks where Logan’s concerned, so no shots unless they’ll hit their mark with one hundred percent certainty.”
“I’m glad your girlfriend caught us before we headed out the door. Her idea was smart and just might lure the men away from Logan. Once they’re outside of the cave, we’ll subdue them and extract Logan.”
Ben didn’t bother to tell Rowe that he wasn’t involved with Megan or that it was complicated. Pride welled up in his chest at the idea she’d presented to them. She was smart, compassionate, and gorgeous. It was unbelievable that someone hadn’t already come along and swept her off her feet. Maybe that was the universe telling him to make his move. He couldn’t expect her to continue staying single for long.
Their rescue party formed a line along the outskirts of the craggy hill and slowly crept forward, pausing every so often to listen for voices from inside the cave. The wind had died down, so if they could hear Slocum and his son inside, the men might be able to hear them sneaking up. If the Slocums knew they were right outside their hideout, they could quickly throw a hand grenade or start shooting rounds to take them out. Once the rescue team got close enough, Rowe signaled to the officer who was ducked behind a tree directly across from the cave. The man nodded back, to let him know he was in position and waiting for the final go ahead. Ben crept forward silently, inching his way toward the lip of the cave. He wanted to ensure the men were still inside with Logan, check to see if anything was going on that would cause them surprises.
Once he was close enough, their voices were audible enough for him to determine their locations, but he’d need to get a closer look to pinpoint where Logan was and if he was still unharmed. If anything happened to that boy, Slocum would wish it was him who was dead. Confident that the men were facing away from his position, Ben looked inside. Logan was sitting hugging his knees, staring off into the distance, but he seemed to be physically unharmed.
“You should’ve brought the nanny along. We could’ve had some fun.” Carl’s voice held a twisted sort of excitement as he spoke to his father. Ben’s stomach turned, and he wanted to barge inside right then and there. Anyone who would force themselves on a woman needed to be taken down hard, and put where he couldn’t hurt anyone again. Ben didn’t tolerate those who disparaged and hurt women and children, overseas or on American soil. The fact that Meg was his only made the comment more infuriating, and he fought to get a handle on his emotions before he did something that could get them all killed.
“Shut your mouth,” the older man said. “We both know you’re a virgin. Wouldn’t know what to do with it even if you could find a woman who’d hold still long enough.” Slocum sounded annoyed and at the end of his rope. As the son babbled on stupidly about their situation, Ben started to see why. The multiple failures, the bummed snowmobile, and the frigid weather were making them bicker. If they had more time, and if Logan wasn’t in their possession, they might kill one another and do the rescue team a favor.
“At least I’m not a soft old man. I’d take what I wanted, then kill the bitch. Or break her in so she’d know who was boss. She’d never question me. Just get on her knees and take it,” the son spat out.
He wanted to teach that jerk a lesson, but then the sound of flesh hitting flesh echoed through the air, proving that the boy’s father had gotten there first. Ben could only hope that the fight would end in them both taking damage. Mark Slocum might be a crazy bastard, who would murder in the name of grief, but his son got off on the thought of hurting others. If they didn’t stop him today, how many innocent victims would be tortured at his hands?
“I didn’t raise you to be some pussy who had to resort to rape,” Slocum growled. “I don’t know where I went wrong with you, but things will be different with Logan.”
Ben hurried back to the rest of the rescue team. With Slocum already pitting his biological son against the son he’d just abducted, he was concerned for Logan’s safety. He relayed what he heard, and Rowe signaled in the direction of the tree across from the rocks.
“Logan? Logan, where are you?” Megan’s voice rang through the air, desperate, weepy, and intentionally weak. “Please, Logan. Logan!”
The audio Meg had had the foresight to record on the officer’s phone played on a loop with just enough time in between the phrases to make it believable. Then, they waited.
“What a stupid bitch,” the son scoffed. “You clearly want her for your own. I’ll stay here with the kid.”
“Like hell. I wasn’t born yesterday. You’re threatened by a toddler. If I leave the two of you alone, you’ll wring his neck before I get back with the hostage. We both go. Logan’s not going anywhere, are ya?” Logan must’ve shaken his head or softly said no, because Mark replied, “That’s a good boy. And if you don’t behave, I’ll cut your nanny’s tongue right out of her throat and serve it for dinner.”
Ben bared his teeth and growled under his breath. Logan was going to need years of therapy after this shitty experience. He wanted the gratification that slamming his fist into each of the Slocum men’s faces would bring, but his job was keeping Logan safe, and there was nothing m
ore important than that. There was some rustling from inside the cavern, then after a moment, the father and son appeared at the edge of the cave and walked out like cattle to the slaughter.
The team swarmed, using their tasers to subdue the men. Ben would be lying if he said he didn’t get any pleasure from seeing them writhe on the ground. The Slocums had gone into this revenge quest content with the fact that they could be killing men, women, and children mid-flight, and they didn’t give a shit. Not only that but they had succeeded in murdering the pilot and the flight attendant. They weren’t faceless entities, they were real people with hobbies and interests, maybe even families. The two Slocum men had made their bed, he just hoped it was constructed of nails.
Ben slipped around the rocks. In the corner, Logan was shaking like a small tree branch mid-hurricane, but the moment he saw Ben, he jumped up and raced into his arms. After all the kid had been through, he gave Ben one of his patented dimpled grins, and Ben’s heart completely melted. He blinked rapidly as tears burned behind his eyelids. He might be a tough-as-all-get-out SEAL, but for once, he wasn’t ashamed to show emotion. For a brief moment when the men exited the cave, Ben’s training kicked in, and he struggled with the urge to take the men out before they could harm someone else, but his love for Logan overruled even his training. He put Logan’s safety and welfare above all else, and he’d do it again in a heartbeat for the sweet kid who was currently clutching at his coat like he was the last thread holding him above a jagged cliff.
“You came to save me, Benny. That’s why I wasn’t scared, I knew you’d get me. Like when the pwane crashed, and the house burned down.”
Ben took a deep breath to get a hold of his emotions and lifted Logan as he stood. “Listen, Champ, no matter where I am around the globe—if you’re in trouble, know I’ll always come for you.”
“I know that,” Logan said and snuggled closer to his neck.
“Oh yeah?” He couldn’t help himself from smiling, the kid was just too much.
“Because I love you, and you love me, Uncle Benny.”
And there was the kicker, Logan made him feel like honest-to-God family. Like he was someone who could be looked up to. Someone who wasn’t so damaged.
Damn, it was going to be so very hard to say goodbye.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Megan had done as Ben suggested, upon Susan and Charles’s insistence. Susan made her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and then begged her to try and get some rest. Reluctantly, she’d gone upstairs and lain in bed, but all she could think of was Ben and what they had shared the night before. When Ben left her eight years ago, she’d made a vow never to fall for someone as hard again—and here she was longing for the same man who’d broken her heart. She was a smart woman, and at this point, she was coming to terms with the fact that Ben was it for her. She should’ve never worried about falling for someone as hard as she did Ben, because she’d never gotten over him in the first place.
It had been a mistake to sleep with him, because it was like coming home and reliving the best part of her life all at once. He was an amazing, generous lover, always making sure she was completely sated before he found his own release. She thought back on those blissful moments, and the words he’d whispering in her ear. You’ve traveled to every war-torn country with me. You’ve been my strength. My reason for fighting. Had he meant it? Had he really thought of her during those early missions? She was as surprised by that as she was stunned that he remembered what she’d said about getting a tattoo. He really had listened to her, respected what she had to say. Ben had always made her feel safe and wanted—until he turned out to be the one who hurt her.
The clock was ticking down until that would happen again. Any minute now, Ben would come back with Logan—and when that happened, Ben would go his separate way, and her heart would be broken for the second time. She was sure once the pain subsided she could be content with her life, have moments of happiness and joy, but she’d never be whole. Tears welled in the corners of her eyes, and she let them slide down her cheeks and onto the pillow beneath her. Maybe it was the trauma of their experience or the impending heartbreak, but suddenly the tears just wouldn’t stop flowing. She didn’t bother to swipe them away. She thought of Logan and how scared he must be, and how Ben was putting his life on the line to save him. She wanted nothing more than to hear the front door open and to have Logan come bursting in and look at her with those big brown eyes. She needed to see that Ben was safe and unharmed.
Megan sat up and threw off the covers. She walked into the bathroom, ran the faucet, and splashed her face a few times. Trying to rest was a waste of time when she’d never fall asleep before the rescue party’s safe return. She padded down the hall and stairway to find Charles and Susan sitting right where she’d left them in the kitchen. Their eyes were glued to the front door, waiting just as she was.
“Honey,” Susan said. “I thought you were going to get some sleep.”
“It’s impossible with Logan still out there.” She pulled out a chair and settled down. How long they sat in silence, listening to the sound of the kitchen clock ticking, she didn’t know. Then Charles cleared his throat and shifted in his seat.
“And Ben?” Charles asked.
“Charlie,” Susan said in a disapproving tome. “Megan’s been through a lot—she doesn’t need to tell us about her relationship with Ben…unless she wants to.” She offered Megan a sly smile and heat coursed up Megan’s cheeks and behind her ears.
Charles chuckled at his wife. While Megan didn’t want to talk about her issues with Ben, she couldn’t help but appreciate the way the subject loosened some of the tension in the room. She gave a half-hearted laugh.
“It’s complicated,” she said and clasped her hands together on the table.
Charles took Susan’s hand and smiled. “Isn’t it always? Imagine my horror when I fell for my arch nemesis in med school. My only reprieve was the knowledge that we would go our separate ways once we chose our specialties. Then I realized I was in love with her, and there’d be no reprieve after all,” he laughed and Susan swatted his arm.
“What Charles is trying to say is that you’re a wonderful woman who is kind and patient and caring and any man would be lucky to have you as a partner.”
Megan offered Susan a weak smile. She wasn’t going to burst her bubble and tell her that Ben had already decided not to even try, because he didn’t believe that he was good enough to keep her in his life forever.
The minutes crawled by. Susan poured everyone a second cup of coffee, then a third, until they were all antsy with caffeine and fear. Megan had been glued to a spot by the window for the past half hour, as if the harder she stared the more likely they’d be to appear outside of it. The wind that had restarted when they returned to the cabin this morning had slowed, but the tree boughs were sloped with the weight of last night’s snow. She rubbed at her eyes when a grey blur clouded her line of sight, when it didn’t go away she ran to the front door.
“They’re back,” she shrieked, and threw open the door. A stampede of stomping feet sounded behind her. Paramedics and Logan’s parents followed her outside just in time to see Ben coming through the woods with Logan in his arms. It was a sight she’d never forget.
She started to sprint toward them, tears of joy for both Logan and Ben falling freely. They were safe, and appeared to be unharmed. When she was close enough, she flung out her arms and hugged them both. Ben wrapped his free arm around her. It felt so good to be in his embrace, so right. Her heart sighed and she took a step back. She needed to start shutting down her feelings towards Ben. She was already going to be crushed when they parted ways, why make it worse? She held out her arms for Logan, and hugged him with enough love for two people—Ben’s share and his. Behind her, the Hamiltons’ cries of delight were audible, and she knew it was time to hand Logan over to his parents.
Their reunion was a tearful one, and she stepped back to give them space for the intimate momen
t. Watching them left her feeling a little empty. Logan had his parents, but who did she have? She knew who she wanted, and he was standing next to her, but nothing had changed.
Charles and Susan were rushing back to the house to get Logan out of the elements, leaving her behind with Ben.
“Where’s the rest of the rescue team?” She glanced up at his chiseled face, covertly looking for any sign that he’d been injured and needed to be examined by one of the paramedics.
“They were securing the Slocums, but we all agreed it was best to reunite Logan with his family as soon as possible. Plus, I didn’t want Logan to have to walk back near the two men who had abducted him.” He looked down at her, and emotion swam in his eyes.
That’s what you want to see.
“No one was hurt?” She was afraid to ask, but she needed to know. There had already been enough death, and her heart broke for the families of the pilot and the flight attendant.
“Thanks to your plan to lure the Slocum men out of the cave, the take down was quick and easy. Everyone’s okay.” He lifted his hand and touched the side of her face. “Were you able to get any rest?”
“You know I didn’t.” She smiled slightly, her skin still tingling where he touched. “I was too worried.”
“It’s hard to believe it’s finally over. We’ve come a long way since the crash.” His voice was low, eyes intense, and a shiver rushed through her.
She had a feeling he wasn’t just talking about their physical journey. She wanted nothing more than to step into Ben’s arms, to tell him how she felt, but self-preservation had her freezing in place.
“What’s next? With the rescue I mean,” she added quickly when he looked as though he wanted to devour her right there in the snow. The chemistry between them was as strong as ever, but she couldn’t let anything happen—not unless he was willing to let it be the start of a real relationship. She didn’t mind that he was emotionally damaged, didn’t mind that he had a dangerous career. Of course, she’d worry and miss him when he was gone on long missions, but Ben’s career choice made no difference to her. What mattered was that he be willing to meet her in the middle. She couldn’t be the glue that constantly held their relationship together. She’d changed, and now realized that to make a relationship work, both parties had to work hard for the other. They couldn’t begin a normal relationship until Ben started making some compromises.