by Katie Knight
“Do you think it’s from Ben?” Susan said and handed her the letter.
She glanced down, and her stomach somersaulted. The letter was addressed in his handwriting. “It is.” All she could do was hold the envelope in both hands, and stare down at his penmanship. Half of her wanted to tear the letter open then and there, and the other half was afraid to open the seal. There was no reason to think it was anything more than a final goodbye. Perhaps he was feeling some guilt over leaving her so stoically—twice—and now he wanted to formalize the end of things between them.
“Take the rest of the day, honey.” Susan gave her a reassuring shoulder pat, and Megan nodded.
There was no way her mind would be on anything other than the contents of this letter today. Whatever information the note held might make her cry and alarm Logan, so with a hug and a promise to start the next day with his favorite game, she grabbed her coat and briskly walked to her living quarters. She unlocked the door of the charming cottage, which had always seemed more like a mini-mansion to her with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. She threw off her coat, sat at the kitchen table, and tore the seal open. The sight of his handwriting made her hands shake, but she bolstered her confidence and began to read.
Meg,
I’m staying at the Dancing Caribou in Anchorage. I know I don’t deserve it, but it would mean everything to me if you’d agree to talk. A car will be arriving at the Hamiltons’ at six o’clock, and I’ll wait for you in the lobby.
Ben
She let the breath whoosh out of her lungs. There hadn’t been anything particularly revealing about his note—sure, he’d said it would mean everything to him if she agreed to talk, but that didn’t mean he was about to tell he loved her. Maybe it meant everything to him to say goodbye and have some closure. If that was what he wanted to say, did she really want to hear it? She’d already come to terms with Ben leaving, even though it hurt. There were nine hours to agonize over if she should meet him or if she should stay put and nurse her battered emotions. She couldn’t tell him what was in her heart until she knew the reason they were meeting in the first place. Yes, she loved him with every cell, every molecule but a lasting relationship couldn’t be built on the feelings of one person. She needed him to meet her halfway. Was that what he was doing by coming to Anchorage?
At six o’clock, Megan found herself waiting in front of the Hamiltons’ house. A gust of wind combed through the hair that she meticulously straightened. She’d thrown the contents of her closet onto her bed, and in the end, decided on comfort. She was who she was, and that had never been a girl who enjoyed wearing uncomfortable heels and dresses. When the town car pulled up the circular drive, she held her breath as the driver got out and opened her door. She slid onto the heated leather seat and clasped her hands together in her lap. Even if it weren’t dark outside, she wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on the scenery. Her stomach was a jumble of knots, and she was slightly nauseated by the time they pulled up to the Dancing Caribou. She was surprised at Ben’s choice of accommodations, but maybe over the years, his tastes had changed from simple to a bit more lavish. The boutique hotel was positioned along the water, a luxury lodge that she’d only driven by a few times. The chalet-style building was a masterpiece of traditional logs and panoramic glass windows. The driver came around and opened the door, taking her hand to help her out. Usually, she would’ve felt uncomfortable having someone open her door and take her hand, but her knees were shaking to the point where she was grateful for the support. She thanked the driver and ascended the stairs, carefully placing one pink ballet flat in front of the other. When she reached the top, a bellman greeted her and opened the door, but his voice was static in her ears. Warmth enveloped her as the door was parted; the source was a roaring fire in a stacked stone hearth. She looked up at a dazzling chandelier, a blend of elegance and rustic nature made of wood and crystal. Her eyes dropped to the lobby, and the oxygen evaporated from her lungs. Ben was staring at her with such intensity, she was afraid to move a muscle. He didn’t make her try but instead moved forward to meet her. It was as though time stood still, and the only thing happening around her was Ben slowly walking across the marble floor. He took both of her hands, and her soul nearly sighed. She needed to be strong, as much as she wanted to melt into his embrace.
“Hi,” he said in a voice meant only for her.
“Hey,” she answered as her insides quivered. He wore dark jeans and a grey sweater that brought out the silver in his eyes. The sweater wasn’t tight, but his sculpted muscles were apparent even through the thick material.
“Thank you for coming. You have no idea what it means to me.” The severe expression didn’t leave his face, and he gave her hands a quick double squeeze before releasing them. “Will you come upstairs with me to talk, or would you rather stay in the lounge?”
“Upstairs is fine,” she found herself saying, even though warning bells were going off in her head. If he tried to kiss her, she wouldn’t be strong enough to refuse him. Her mind whirled with all the reasons he might want to talk to her as they rode the elevator up to the fourth floor in silence. The elevator chimed when they reached the floor, startling them both. They laughed it off and walked down the carpeted hallway, eventually entering the hotel room, a suite with a large king-size bed and cathedral ceilings. She drew in a long breath. Did Ben think he needed to shower her in luxury? She’d found him irresistible in a dirty miner’s cabin with no furniture. He was what she wanted—end of story. She’d take Ben any way she could get him, including as a SEAL with all the demands that went along with his job. Meg opened her mouth to speak, but Ben was at her side, pressing his fingertips softly to her lips.
“I need to tell you this before I lose my nerve.”
He sat on the edge of the bed, pulling her down next to him. Suddenly, he stood up, leaving her seated and paced a few feet before turning to return to her side. Whatever he planned to say was clearly important, she’d never seen him this flustered before.
Taking her hands in his, he squeezed them before releasing them. “I’m yours. Do you understand?”
Her heart hammered in her chest and it was her turn to want to pace but she remained seated. She was about to shake her head. If he wanted her, really wanted her, he’d need to spell it out for her.
“You’re it for me, Meg. From the first moment I met you on campus, to all those lonely nights out in the field, to when we reunited in the airport. It’s always been you.”
She could hardly believe what she was hearing. It was hard for Ben to discuss his emotions, but he was laying it all on the line for her. “Why did you leave in the first place?” she blurted out. She needed to know. He’d alluded to why after Logan was taken by Slocum, but there had to be more.
“Because, if you left me first, it would’ve broken me. You’re the first woman I ever loved, and you’ll be the last. I need you in my life, Meg. I love you, I want to protect you, to put trust in what we have and believe that you won’t break my heart and walk out of my life. I’ve been so scared of being left, that I did it to you twice, thinking you’d be better off without me—and that once you realized that, you’d leave me behind.”
“Better off without you? Watching you walk away crushed me—this time and the first.” She met his unreadable stare. “Be sure, Ben. Because I’ll never let you walk away from me again.”
“God, you’re adorable. From now on, where you go, I follow. Anywhere.” Before she could get another word in, Ben had captured her mouth. His tongue caressing and claiming hers. Heat pooled between her thighs, and she released an involuntary groan. Only Ben could elicit this type of visceral reaction from her, just his kiss had her soaked through. His lips suddenly left hers, and he laid his forehead against hers.
“Know I didn’t invite you up here for sex—only to tell you that I’m never leaving again. Do you want me, sweetheart? We’ve been through a lot, and I’ll wait as long as it takes to be yours again—mind, heart, and body.”
“Do I want you?” She chuckled at that. Her whole body was humming in anticipation for him. “More than I want my next breath.”
He hissed between his teeth, lowered his mouth to hers, and kissed her like his life depended on it. She shuddered when his tongue trailed over her neck, down to her collarbone.
“Lift your arms, Meg,” he said in a hoarse voice that sent heat straight to her core. “I need to see you.”
She complied, lifting her arms. Her sweater, her bra, both came off in a flash. “Lay back, sweetheart. I’m going to taste every inch of you.”
Her eyes nearly rolled back in her head as he plumped her breasts with both hands and alternated between sucking and swirling his tongue over her nipples. When she was practically begging for more, he kneeled back, unzipped each boot on her feet, and then yanked down her jeans. She heard him groan and caress her thighs, using light pressure to open her legs. “I can’t wait to taste you.” He lowered his head and lapped his tongue up her sex. “So delicious. Mine.” She arched up, wanting more, wanting everything, and Ben delivered by focusing his tongue on her clit as he eased two fingers inside her. She couldn’t help but buck against him when his fingers relentlessly massaged her most sensitive spot, as he sucked and licked. She was coming in an instant as he relentlessly claimed her. The orgasm exploded through her, and she vaguely registered calling out his name. “More, Ben. I need you please.”
“I want you bare. I don’t want any barriers between us, but the choice is yours—only if you’re completely comfortable with it. I’ll never make you do anything you don’t want to.”
“I want to feel you. All of you,” she said without hesitation.
“I’m not going to last long,” Ben warned her before he kicked off his shoes and shoved down his pants removing it as well, and then exposing his hard, engorged length. He picked her up, placing her on his lap with her legs wrapped around his waist, while he sat on the side of the bed.
“So beautiful. All of you. Perfect,” he murmured as his thumbs circled over her nipples.
She wiggled her hips against him, and he lifted her up before slowly bringing her back down, allowing her body time to adjust to his length as he entered her inch by inch. Then they were rocking together, her heels digging into his back, and he was buried so deep inside her that her clit rubbed against his skin. Her body trembled as the second orgasm built and she clutched desperately at his shoulders.
“Look at me, Meg. I want to see you come for me,” he demanded, and a sob escaped her lips. They locked eyes, and she shuddered as he thrust into her over and over, each time bringing her closer to the edge until she peaked. Her fingers dug into his skin as she rode the intense wave of climax, and then he was with her, his own body shaking in response to the gift she’d just given him, murmuring her name as he emptied his release inside her. He laid back with her still on top of him, bodies connected. She put her head down on his chest, trying to get her bearings.
“I love you, Meg. So much.”
“I love you, too. You should know that I’m fine with your military career, as long as you come home to me. I love you, and being with you is what’s important.”
“I have no doubt you’re strong enough to handle the ups and downs of life with a SEAL, but I’m not. I want to wake beside you every morning, have you against me every night. I’ve accepted a new job, one that will have me home every night if you can stand that much of me. I’ve already spoken to the Hamiltons, and I start next week as their new head of security.” He chuckled, and contentment washed over her. “I want to marry you, Meg. Please tell me you’ll have me. I want you to be my wife. I want to make a family with you, watch our babies be born to the most incredible mother.”
Tears welled in her eyes as her heart expanded with love. “Yes, Ben. Yes, to all of it.”
Epilogue
Afternoon sunshine filtered through the cottage, casting a golden glow over the living room. He stared in awe at his wife, who was seated on the couch with Logan sitting beside her. In her third trimester of pregnancy, Logan had taken to coming over to the cottage more and more often, so Meg didn’t have to walk up to the main house. Ben had loved watching her ripen with pregnancy, and had been overjoyed when they discovered they were having a little girl. It was what he had secretly hoped for, and he couldn’t wait to spoil the two most important girls in his life for all time.
When they’d woken in his hotel room the morning after their reunion, he’d proposed to her more formally. He’d moved into the cottage house shortly after. The Hamiltons weren’t an overly traditional type, and they hadn’t minded having Ben close to start his security duties. While the cottage was incredibly quaint and beautiful, he wanted to build Megan the house of her dreams. A place of their own where they could start their little family. Or not so little if Meg had her way. He’d purchased a parcel of land from the Hamiltons who had hundreds of acres surrounding their estate, and together he and Megan had designed their new home. The contractors were wrapping up the finishing touches, and the nursery was complete as they waited for their child to enter the world. Once their new furniture was delivered, they’d officially be moving in.
The week before, they’d decorated the walls of the house with photos of their wedding in the ballroom of the Dancing Caribou. It only seemed appropriate to host it there, as it was the place where they both made the choice to let love win. The reception was a kaleidoscope of bright, cheery colors and delicious food. The Hamiltons attended, and Logan had been the cutest ring bearer. Ben’s teammates and his commander had come, too, along with Megan’s mom and siblings. They couldn’t thank him enough for getting Megan through their ordeal safe, but he’d explained that without working with her as a team, they never would’ve made it out of the wilderness. Meg was just as tough as him, if not more so.
He could say that their wedding was the best day of his life, and it would be correct. There had been dancing and laughter, and the incredible, intense love he felt for Megan as she stood there in a white lace gown that hugged her body and flared out at the knees. But the truth was that every day since he was brave enough to tell Megan what was in his heart had been the best day of his life too, whether they were sharing a cup of coffee over breakfast, making love, or watching television while eating takeout. He'd do whatever it took to be a good husband and father to his girls. Anything they needed, it was theirs. With their extremely generous salaries from the Hamiltons, he had no concerns about providing for his family.
“I want to hear another story, Meggy,” Logan said sleepily, more than ready for his afternoon nap.
“All right, then,” she said, smoothing down his hair. Nurturing came naturally to Megan. She was going to be an incredible mother, and their children would never be left questioning the love of either their mother or father. He was committed to giving his children all of the love he was never afforded. They’d never once feel unimportant or unwanted. He wanted to be there for all of his child’s milestones, along with the small moments. The ones spent teaching shoe tying and potty training, recitals, and practice for whatever sport they were involved in.
“Once upon a time, there was a brave little prince who was on a quest for chocolate cupcakes—”
“Meggy!” Logan screeched and laughed. “That’s not a real quest.”
“Okay, okay. The little prince was on a quest for a magic key to unlock a spell placed on the kingdom by a mean wizard. The prince chose a brave knight, one who would help him fight his way across the land. They set out on their adventure, battling dragons and trolls until they came to a wide ocean with no way to cross.”
“Oh, no. Did they swim?” Logan asked as his eyelids drooped sleepily. He was growing up so fast, but he still needed a nap in the afternoons to take the edge off. Hell, most adults would benefit from taking a nap during the day.
“It was too deep and too dangerous. Fearsome lagoon monsters were swimming below the surface. It seemed like the two brave warriors would need to turn
around and find another way when a mermaid swam up to them, tugging along a crystal boat. The prince and the knight got inside, and the mermaid with a golden tail helped guide them safely across the water.”
“Did they find the key?” Logan asked, fighting to keep his eyes from closing.
“Yes, they found the key in a dragon’s nest at the top of a mountain and restored the kingdom. The prince took the throne and ruled the realm with kindness.”
Ben and Meg were silent for a moment as Logan finally dropped into sleep. He moved forward and lifted the boy in his arms, cradling him as he walked down the hall to the spare bedroom. He laid him down on one of the twin beds and drew a blanket over him. He returned to Megan, sat by her side, and placed both hands on her belly. He loved nothing more than to feel their daughter dancing and kicking in Meg’s tummy. He’d never met this child before, but the love he felt in his heart for her was intense and overwhelming.
“What happened to the mermaid and the knight?” he asked, grinning at her. They smiled at each other for one heartbeat, then two, before Megan spoke.
“Well, the knight decided he loved the mermaid and couldn’t live without her, so he laid down his sword and shield to seek her out and tell her what was in his heart. The mermaid couldn’t believe he returned to her. She’d wished it with all her heart, on every shooting star and lily in her lagoon. The brave knight begged her to return to the kingdom with him, where he had men creating a lake behind the castle for her to live in.” Meg offered him a relaxed smile and touched her fingertips to the side of his face.