Carmine

by Coco Miller

  “Do you know the stars names?” I ask him as he daydreams quietly at my side. We take a pause along the edge of the water and I pull him down into the sand. Pointing up I call out the constellations. “They say God gave every star a name. You believe that, Carmine? Do you believe in God?”

  He shrugs a little. “Even if I did, I doubt he believes in me.”

  “There’s always redemption for your sins. All you have to do is ask. At least, that’s what they tell us in church every Sunday.”

  “You go to church?” He looks surprised.

  “Damn right I go to church. My mom would kick my ass if I didn’t go.”

  He laughs at my words as I try humoring him in a good way, not a way that would make me feel smaller than him. It’s in his eyes I decide. It’s how he looks at me. That’s where I see the good in this man.

  Carmine Volta. The dangerous mobster who is supposed to make Satan himself look like a harmless kitten. But I just don’t see a vicious man. I see a man who needs a woman like me to lighten up his life and show him how to enjoy things and let loose. He just needs my light tempered with his storminess.

  “I can’t imagine a man like Chuckie taking you to church as a child.” Carmine’s brows pinch. “Sorry, I should not bring him up.”

  “It’s cool but he didn’t bring me. My mom did. She pretty much raised me alone. My dad was in and out of jail and when he was home he wasn’t very…nice to us.”

  “Does he hurt you?” he asks with a deep concern that touches me.

  “I make sure not to get in his way. It’s been a long time since–“

  “That motherfucker! And now he’s gotten himself hooked up with the commission.”

  Everyone knows who the commission is in my neighborhood. An organized crime faction led by three of the deadliest men in my hood. You either work for the them or you get out of their way. My father decided to work for them, and it’s changed him in ways that aren’t good for anyone– especially his family.

  “Are they your competition?” I wince. “Sorry, I should not have asked that.”

  “It’s cool this time, but no, you shouldn’t ask about things that would get you hurt under anyone else’s watch. You live in a dangerous world, Jasmine, surrounded by dangerous people. Deadly people. I’m not sure you understand that. I am the worst of those people, and your father wishes he were worse.”

  “You don’t like my father do you?”

  “This isn’t a business about making friends.”

  “Are you gonna kill him?”

  Those dark eyebrows of his pinch together as he looks at me in a challenge. His eyes are impossibly black and deep, and he says, “You really want to know?”

  “Horrible or not, he’s my father.”

  “So again I ask you, do you really want to know?”

  “I guess I don’t. No.”

  Carmine hums and then turns his attention back to the sky.

  “Tell me about the stars. And why do you about this anyhow?”

  “That’s Orion’s belt,” I tell him, pointing at the black canvas above us. “My parents fought a lot and I spent a lot of time hiding out on the rooftop of our building. I don’t like things not having a purpose or meaning so I decided since I was up there I might as well learn a thing or two about a sky I look at every damn night.

  “I prayed to whoever was up there, God or whatever, to save me from my life. I never really heard back from him, but the stars kept me company every night.”

  I feel the heat rise up in my cheeks as I tell him all of this, not knowing why the hell I do, but there is something about Carmine that just makes me want to spill everything. Maybe because he’s the first person who looks at me like I am worth listening to, I don’t know, but I like talking to him.

  “I’m sorry you had to go through that, kitten.” Carmine cups my chin and stares into my eyes. “Something so precious should be cherished like the treasure it is.”

  “Carmine,” I sigh, melting into him.

  “That’s a couple times you’ve called me by my first name today. You feeling kind of comfortable?” He raises an eyebrow.

  “I do,” I say confidently. “I think we’re past the point of me calling you Mr. Volta, don’t you?”

  He chuckles as we fall into a kiss and before I know it I’m in his lap grinding on his big dick. I can’t take not having him any longer. I want him inside of me. I’m ready now.

  Carmine kisses my mouth deeply as I moan and grip in him in my hands from over his clothes. His fingers knead my tits and then he moves his mouth from my lips to my breasts, sucking on my nipples until they’re wet and begging for him to tug on them and tease me like crazy. He bites on my nipples and pulls my sensitive skin with his teeth until I cry out.

  My pussy is soaked as he works me over, finally putting his long pale fingers under my dress and slipping them inside of my drenched folds. I rock on his hand until he’s knuckle-deep inside of me. I bounce on his hand so his finger hit my aching clit and G-spot. He’s so damn good at making me come. I’m hungry for it.

  “You are so wet for me,” he croons in my ear before licking my neck. “Such a good kitten. I love this pussy.”

  “Oh, damn. Yes, I’m coming.” I cry out, riding the waves of my escalating orgasm until I explode on his hand and shutter. My thighs clench and quake as my orgasm hits me so hard I can barely hold on to him.

  “You are so beautiful when you come. I want inside of that wet pussy right now.” Carmine pulls away and kisses me hotly on the mouth.

  “I’m yours, Carmine. I’m all yours.”

  “Yes, you are, Jasmine. You belong to me.”

  We rush home in his fancy race car, speeding our way through the streets until we reach the gates of his mansion. I’ve never seen a house like this much less been asked to stay inside of one. It’s something like the fairy tales I read as a young girl. I am like a real-life Cinderella minus the singing birds and talking mice. Cinderella after she found her prince.

  He leaves me on the landing of the stairs with a kiss to my hand before he ghosts away to his side of the house, which is more like a castle, honestly. I feel that way when I’m looking around at all its luxury and beauty. It’s like someone stole me away from my low rent world and dropped me into a dream.

  While I’d love to stay here forever, I think I’d miss parts of my life I guess. I’d miss my mom, even though I wish she’d do more to help herself.

  I haven’t asked, but I wonder if I am going to go back to the club to work after this? It’s pretty clear that the club is my Grandpop’s business in name only. Carmine is the real boss.

  Will I have a job or will he throw me away after this? Damn. I am starting to worry as I make my way back up the steps as if all the glory and fantasy is wearing off and I need more magic pixie dust to lift me up in the clouds to daydream.

  When all of this is over I’ll have to go back to a life unlike this splendorous place. A life that might even be more difficult than it already is.

  I lock myself in the room Carmine has assigned me and make my way to the bathroom to wash my face and rip away this stupid dress that has made me feel like someone else. I am not a girl who gets to escape my life, no matter how much I wish on stars in the sky. That’s just not written in the stars for me. Quite literally.

  Carmine said for me to freshen up and take my time. He was really quiet on the ride home, which is like him, but something else seemed to be on his mind. He always gets this pinch in his brows as he thinks, when something might be troubling him? Is he second guessing the decision to sleep with me? Not all men like sleeping with virgins.

  I roam through the contents of my new purse, a lovely bag from Louis Vuitton compliments of Carmine. I find my cell and dial my one and only friend that I can really trust, a girl I grew up with named Porsha. She picks up on the third ring, finally, but after she answers I kind of wish I had not called in the first place.

  “Girl, everybody has been looking for you. You have any
idea what’s going on around here since you disappeared?”

  “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I’m just calling to check in on my mom. Is she okay?”

  “Your mom is fine, honey. Where are you?”

  Her voice really sounds scared and that makes me feel guilty. I’ve been living life just fine, enjoying myself to the max, and my family is worried about me.

  I take a deep breath and blow it out, trying to explain to Porsha that I am really sorry and didn’t mean to make everyone so upset. But my words only cause more harm once I mention who I am with.

  “Carmine Volta? Girl, have you lost your damn mind?”

  Porsha is horrified at the mention of his name and that kind of pisses me off, even though I understand.

  “It’s not really anyone’s concern,” I say firmly. “But I do appreciate you looking in on me. I’m fine. I really am. The man has been nothing less than a perfect gentlemen to me.”

  Porsha huffs into the phone. “I find it hard to believe a made man of the biggest New York mafia clique has been treating you like a princess, Jasmine. I mean why? How the hell did you end up with Carmine anyhow? Your daddy is gonna have a heart attack if he finds out. He’ll kill Carmine if he touches you.”

  I giggle a little too loud and she growls into the phone. “Oh my God, Jasmine! Has he fucked you? Please, God, tell me you did not lose your V card to a gangster.”

  “He’s a good guy. Just calm down. And no I didn’t do anything . . . much.”

  “What the hell does ‘much’ mean?” Porsha demands.

  “He ate me out a few times. Girl he’s so damn good at eating pussy. You have no idea.”

  “Oh. My. God!”

  I laugh. “Well, it’s true.”

  “I am not even talking to my best friend about this right now. You let that killer eat you out?”

  “And finger me too.” I laugh harder.

  “Your daddy is gonna kill that man. Damn girl, I hope you helped him pick out a good suit and tie to wear in his casket at the funeral.”

  “Carmine has been good to me. My daddy isn’t gonna be killing anyone. But Porsha? Don’t tell anyone okay? A lot of people wouldn’t understand especially him.”

  “You got that shit right.”

  “Please?”

  She scoffs but her tone softens. “I’ll keep my mouth shut, but when are you coming back home?”

  “I’m not sure but I’ll call soon, all right? Just tell everyone I’m okay and taking some time for myself, okay?”

  “Yeah, whatever, Jasmine. Just be careful. I don’t want to read about you in the news, ending up like some dead hooker from Carmine Volta’s mafia ring.”

  “Cocktail waitress,” I say. “I am not a damn hooker.”

  “You suck him off?” She asks trying to prove some point.

  “Goodbye, Porsha!”

  I hear her laugh right before I end the call. Enough tea has been spilled for one night. And just as I thought she doesn’t understand which means no one else will understand either.

  I haven’t even had a chance to undress when I hear a knock on my bedroom door. It makes me jump and I toss my phone back into my designer bag before I turn to open it. I’m so nervous. What if we have sex tonight. Like all the way? I’ve never been able to find a guy I liked enough to do this with.

  I’m not super shy or anything but Carmine gives me butterflies the size of dinosaurs when he looks at me. I breathe and try to calm myself as I step closer to the door. This could be it, my final night as a virgin. Holy shit. Am I ready to do this? What if Porsha is right? What if this gets me in trouble or worse Carmine? I know he’s able to take care of himself and everything, but I don’t want to hurt anyone.

  Ugh! Why did I call her? I don’t feel any better. In fact, I feel worse. I’d love nothing more than to rush out onto the rooftop like when I was a kid trying to escape and find the stars. I’d like to calm myself down and block out all the turmoil and fighting by counting them and finding the constellations in the navy night sky.

  But I’m not a kid anymore and this isn’t my building. I’m in a mansion with one of the most powerful mobsters in the city. There is no running. He knocks on the door again.

  “Kitten?” he calls, sounding a bit alarmed. “Is everything okay in there?”

  I take a breath and even my tone to hide the nervousness. “Yes.”

  I rush to the bedroom door and unlock it, then open it up wide. Carmine takes my breath away. He’s dressed in black silk pajama bottoms, completely shirtless, exposing himself for me to see. His chest is rock hard with rippling abs and a fierce dragon tattoo across his torso that makes him look even more alarming. It licks from shoulder to shoulder, hovering over him like a form of protection.

  His hair is damp from the shower and is in a thick swept disarray of midnight chaos. He smells like an angel ad looks like the devil. I nearly faint from how gorgeous he is. His skin is tanned and beautiful. I want to feel him all over me. The lust has returned to haunt me as I stand here staring at him in my doorway. He has a single pink rose in his hand as an offering. I reach out to take it and his brows pinch as he appraises me standing here, in my bra and panties.

  “I’m sorry,” he apologies. “Did you need more time?”

  “No, I just ... um …” I chew on my nail and screw my eyes closed. “I’m just having a weird time tonight. I’m sorry, Carmine.”

  Concerned, he takes me by the hand and leads me to the bed, which does little to calm my nerves. In fact, it only makes them flutter about even more fiercely inside my chest and belly.

  Carmine strokes his firm hand across my back and then he must realize what he’s doing to me and reaches back to rip a blanket off the bed. He wraps me up and warms my arms with his hands up and down my arms causing wonderful friction that calms me down quickly.

  “What’s wrong, kitten?” His eyes soften as he looks at me, as if he really cares about how I feel. My heart leaps a bit as I try to answer him.

  “I’m just not sure what I’m doing here. I mean, I love it and everything. You’ve been a gracious host, but why me, Carmine? You could have anyone. I’m a girl who is completely opposite of you in every way possible. We’re from two different worlds. Why take a risk on me? And what does it all mean anyhow?

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean if I have sex with you is it just a game? Is this all it is? Do I still have a job? My mom relies on me to work and provide for us. I don’t really have anyone I can depend on but me. I have to make the right decisions. I can’t afford to make mistakes.”

  “You think this is a mistake?”

  “I don’t really have a lot of people I can talk to about all of this and now Porsha is telling me how much my father will want to kill you if he ever finds out and I am just freaking out a little bit over here . . . why are you smiling at me?”

  He laughs a little. His face is so damn adorable and not as dangerous looking when he lets down his guard a bit like this. I breathe to steady my heart rate because honestly, I feel dazzled and rattled by this man and that is messing up my judgement big time.

  “I’m just trying to decide which fear to soothe first,” he croons, pushing his fingers through my hair.

  “Start with any of ‘em.”

  “You’re cute as fuck, but a little crazy.” Carmine takes a deep breath and blows it out, a small smile still playing on his gorgeous face. “First of all, your father will never be able to get close enough to ever lay a finger on me. There are rules to this shit. I’m a made man. He’d be signing his own death warrant if he ever did anything to me.”

  “Okay, I’m not sure that’s soothing my fears, but okay.”

  “Secondly,” he grins, “Yes, you have a job. Do I want you hustling drinks for bullshit tips for those drunk fucks? Hell no. I take care of what belongs to me. But, kitten, that’s a choice you’re going to have to make on your own. I’d be more than happy to take care of you.”

  Take care of me?

&nb
sp; “And as far as what you mean to me? I don’t do relationships and I’m not big on love. I’ve never uttered the fuckin words in my life. But you? You’re as close to it as I’ll probably ever get. You take my breath away. I want to consume every single part of you and never cease.”

  I gasp at his words. They are not a confession of love, but they are damn close. A confession that at least he’s not done with me. He wants “this” to continue.

  Carmine frames my face in his strong hands. “As for us not being the same, I say fuck anyone who has a problem with that. I make the rules, and I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks about us.”

  “But . . .” he kisses me.

  “But nothing. You’re mine.” Carmine kisses me again, deeper this time. I move closer to him, inhaling the intoxicating scent of his skin. I shift and rub my legs together. I pulse and beat for him. Just him.

  “Carmine,” I sigh into his mouth as we tongue each other.

  He licks my lips and sucks on the tip of my tongue which makes me dizzy with desire. I’ve never had anyone get me so wet before. I’ve only fooled around a little with two boys in high school, but I’ve never had a man touch me like this.

  He instantly brings me to life with his touch and words. He’s a dirty boy, I can tell you that much. The shit he says to me is beyond anything I have ever imagined having whispered in my ear by a lover.

  I’ve read some dirty books and I know a thing or two from them but to actually have it happen to me is mind blowing. I feel different. I feel like for once I’m something special to someone.

  “Baby,” he whispers, sucking his way along my neck. “I want you so badly. You ready for me?”

  Carmine stares at me and the need for him is coming back full force, I see the hunger in his dark raven eyes. I see the twist and torment in his gaze as he debates what to do with me.

  I’m not sure why he seems so unsettled though. Surely, he has had a girl with little experience before, right? I can’t be the first girl was nervous about having sex with him, given his lifestyle and reputation.