Disowned

by M. J. Haag

  He turned his back to us, and the queen gave a small smile before she dipped her head and followed her husband to the thrones.

  Without Elspeth’s hold, I might have stood in the throne room forever. The cool air cleared my head when we reached the steps leading down to the lawns, which were full of people. The same four guards fell into place around us as we descended.

  Fear had replaced the angry glares from earlier. The people of Drisdall no longer condemned us. They feared what was to come.

  “Rest while I strain the tinctures,” Elspeth said.

  Behind her, the sky was starting to lighten. While exhausted, I wasn’t ready to sleep. Grinding the herbs then shaking the black flasks for hours had kept me busy. However, idle hands now allowed my thoughts to roam.

  They returned to Atwell. I couldn’t stop imagining what might have become of him. Was he now running with the beasts in the Dark Forest? Was he perhaps the beast the guards killed? No. It hadn’t been long enough for either situation. Was he dead amongst the trees with no one to mourn his passing?

  “Can we scry for Atwell?” I asked Elspeth. “Like we did for his father?”

  She stopped what she was doing to look at me.

  “What do you hope to see?”

  “Nothing. It will give me peace that he’s not lost in the forest forever, suffering an existence he did not want.”

  “And if he is?”

  I sighed and looked out the window.

  “I’ll find a way to live with that knowledge.”

  She came and sat beside me.

  “He means so much to you?”

  “It’s odd, isn’t it? We barely know one another. Yet, from the moment I met him, he has occupied the recesses of my mind. I cannot seem to let the thought of him go.”

  Elspeth nodded slowly.

  “Love comes in many forms. Some are so large they cannot be contained. That kind of love is easy to see and recognize. Some are smaller, subtler. It makes the love no less meaningful, only harder to see for what it is.”

  I thought about Atwell and what I felt for him. The concern. The desire to see him again. The way it felt when he held me.

  “I do care for Atwell. But love?”

  Elspeth gave me a small smile. “We shall see.”

  She stood and started preparing everything, leaving the poison to rest. When she started speaking the words, I stood and went to her side.

  The water shimmered in the bowl as it had before, the mist rising in two places. Turre still remained a murky outline while Drisdall cleared. No small speck of green moved within the boundaries of the Dark Forest. It moved within Drisdall.

  “What does it mean that he’s here?” I asked, jerking my gaze up, daring to hope.

  Elspeth clasped my arms firmly.

  “One of two things. He’s returned to you unharmed. Or he lost his vial and will ask for another.”

  My chest ached with anticipation and fear.

  Elspeth pressed one of the remaining vials in my hand.

  “Go. Find Atwell before the guards do.”

  I raced from the cottage, not bothering with a cloak. The thump of my feet hitting dirt echoed in the early morning light. No one stirred at this hour, so I ran unhindered until I reached the Market district. There, guards patrolled. I had to answer why I was out so early before they would let me pass.

  Atwell answered his door after my third knock. I barely had time to focus on his tired face before he pulled me into his arms. I held him tightly, shaking.

  “Tell me you’re all right. Tell me you’re not bitten.”

  “I’m unbitten, Margaret, because of you. And because of my father.”

  He loosened his hold on me just enough to lead me inside and close the door.

  “What do you mean, your father?”

  Atwell led me to a chair. While I sat, he paced before the fire.

  “The passage was clear when I first entered it. Not long after, I heard the creatures enter. I had a torch for the darker tracks of the passage and the horses. Between the two, I kept out of the beasts’ reaches. Just after midday, I found the wagon my father was forced to abandon. It sat in a spot of sunlight. As soon as I moved to hitch the horses to it, they flooded the surrounding shadows. I went to the horses and covered their eyes then my own. Even covered, I could see the light when I uncapped the crystal. The beasts screamed and ran. I quickly fled with the wagon as well. It wasn’t long before they were behind me, racing to catch me.

  “Another creature came from the darkened trees within the passage. He fought back any who grew too close. At first, I thought he was staking his claim. Then, I felt the pillars fall. The horses spooked and veered too close to a tree, clipping the wagon and almost knocking it over. The beast hit it from the other side to right us and said one word.

  “Run.”

  Atwell stopped his pacing and looked at me.

  “After that, the creature took off into the trees like the rest of them.” Atwell sighed and looked around the room. “He looked nothing like my father. I might be wrong. But it helps thinking it was him.”

  I nodded, understanding what he meant.

  “During that time, I lost the crystal. Thankfully, I didn’t need it again.”

  “The crystal means nothing. I’m only grateful you returned.” We studied each other for a long moment. “How long ago did you return?” I asked. “You look tired.”

  “I am. I haven’t slept in days. Since my father first returned.”

  I stood.

  “I should leave you to rest.”

  He caught my arm and stopped me from doing as I said.

  “Please stay.”

  The desperate look in his eyes drew me in. He slowly pulled me to his chest. This time, when his lips met mine, it was no chaste meeting of skin. His tongue swept over my bottom lip, coaxing me to open as his arms wrapped around me. I couldn’t resist him.

  Granting him entrance, he stole my breath with the first stroke of his tongue against mine. His hands delved into my hair, and he kissed me with an intensity that stole my awareness of the world outside his home. There were only his hands, his mouth, and a growing need I’d never felt before.

  I tore my lips from him and stared up at his handsome face. His gaze held mine, his breathing erratic.

  “I’ve never met anyone like you,” I said. “Since the moment you stepped out of the shadows, you’ve occupied my thoughts.”

  His fingers brushed over my jaw then traced my lips. A warmth spread through me at his focused attention to every detail.

  “I’ve never met anyone like you, either, Margaret. You steal my breath and rob me of thought. You fill my mind day and night.”

  I swallowed hard as he closed the distance and kissed me again. I lifted my hands and set them on his strong shoulders. Nothing before had ever felt so right as me in Atwell’s arms, kissing him as if I had found my reason for living. And I believed I had.

  When he next lifted his head so we could catch our breaths, I slipped from his arms. I was tired of rules and others trying to decide what my life should be. I wanted to take control. To be the one to decide. I wanted Atwell.

  Taking a steadying breath, I slipped out of my dress and stood before him in my underthings. His hungry gaze swept over me. Slowly, he reached out and gave the cords at my waist and throat light tugs. That was all it took for the remaining material covering me fell to the floor.

  “Margaret,” he said. The hoarse need in his voice created an ache between my legs.

  He fell to his knees before me and kissed the skin just below my navel. A shiver stole through me and ignited a fire within my belly. I threaded my fingers in his hair, needing him to kiss me there again. His breath teased me as he trailed more kisses lower. Then he stilled.

  “I cannot take what you offer until you answer a question that’s been in my mind since the moment you bashed the man with the piss pot.”

  I giggled and ran my finger along the curve of his cheekbone.


  “What question?” I asked.

  “Will you marry me, Margaret? Will you be mine forever?”

  “Yes.”

  He stood and picked me up, carrying me to a small room off the main living area. There, he set me on the bed. His eyes never left me as he disrobed. I struggled not to blush as I looked at him. His arms were thick and full of muscled ridges, like his chest, stomach, and…

  I swallowed hard at the jutting piece of him that would join with me. I knew how it was done. I’d seen my father’s horses mating and had asked Elspeth about it.

  “You look worried,” he said. “Have you changed your mind?”

  I shook my head and beckoned him to lay beside me. He smiled as he joined me and trailed his fingers over my skin. The feel of him banished thoughts of what was to come as I lost myself to the sensations of the moment. The way he explored the ridge of my hip, the dip of my stomach, and the valley between my breasts. His lips met mine as his hand covered one mound. A small sound escaped me at the heat of him. His mouth left mine. Panting for air, I struggled to exist beyond the trailing kisses he made from my jaw, down my throat, to my nipple. I cried out when his mouth closed over the peak and suckled. The feel of his fingers on my leg didn’t register until he nudged them apart.

  He caressed my folds, driving the need growing within me to the point of desperation. Then he touched me in a way that shattered everything. I arched off the bed, my cry of joy lost to his lips. Before the pleasure could recede, his weight settled on me. I felt the heat of his cock against my pulsing core and lifted my hips as I kissed him feverishly.

  The stab of pain cooled the heat and robbed me of the lingering pleasure.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered in my ear. “Hold still for just a moment.”

  As I held still, he kissed a trail along my jaw, and his fingers found my nipple. Like a cord connected the two, each time his fingers plucked the sensitive bud, a spasm of pleasure rippled between my legs where he was seated.

  Atwell groaned and shifted forward ever so slightly. The sensation made me gasp and arch into him. He nipped my nipple and withdrew only to return again. The heat returned with each thrust and soon I found myself panting and reaching for the joy I’d known before he’d entered me.

  He jerked within me, the rhythm stuttering for a moment before intensifying. The heat, his strong thrusts, and feel of him inside of me shattered me again. With a cry, I embraced the joy.

  In a sweaty heap, we lay together, our breathing calming.

  “We’ll have a life together, Margaret. And I will do everything within my power to make sure you love every day of it.”

  I kissed him lightly and closed my eyes. I was already loving it.

  The Market was alive with noise when we emerged several hours later after Atwell had slept.

  “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather sleep some more?” I asked. I needed to return to Elspeth. Not only did I need to help deliver the vials to the palace, I needed to tell her about Atwell. And he’d insisted on joining me.

  His fingers threaded through mine.

  “I wouldn’t be able to leave your side if I tried.”

  I smiled and walked with him to the cottage. We spoke of so many things along the way. His trading plans for the lemons and other goods that had been in the wagon. My plans for the house we would now share. Our hopes for the future. The children we would have. How much we both would enjoy making the children.

  A blush colored my cheeks when we reached Elspeth’s. She took one look at me and smiled knowingly.

  “It appears all is well,” she said.

  “It is,” I said. I smiled as Atwell looked down at me with complete adoration in his eyes before facing Elspeth.

  “Margaret explained what happened with her parents. No woman should wed without family at her side. Will you stand in their place? Will you grant me permission to wed Margaret in their stead?”

  “Yes.” She hugged me tightly then briskly ordered us to help her deliver vials to the palace.

  We didn’t go through the side gate but through the main entrance. The guards didn’t question us. And there were far fewer people present. Instead of the throne room, we met with someone in another room and explained how the vials worked. Atwell was tasked with helping the man distribute the vials to those in the dungeon while Elspeth and I were escorted to the queen.

  Chapter Eight

  The queen stopped her pacing the moment we entered.

  “Your Majesty,” Elspeth said with a curtsy. I quickly did the same.

  “Elspeth, you’ve helped my family and my people beyond measure. At great risk to yourself. You’ve won my trust. I pray it’s not misplaced.”

  “Never, Your Majesty.”

  “I have another request of you. Since the birth of Prince Greydon, my husband has wanted another heir to ensure the throne. I seek your advice. Do you have knowledge of anything that might help?”

  “There are teas that can help. Are your menstruations regular?”

  “They are. And I’ve been drinking teas, but they haven’t worked.”

  “These things take time. Please excuse my boldness, but how often do you lay with your husband?”

  The queen looked aside.

  “I find the task trying and don’t often open my bed to him.”

  She glanced up in time to catch the surprise on my face.

  “You will learn soon enough that the task isn’t always agreeable. I heard that your man returned from the forest unharmed.”

  “Yes, Your Majesty. This morning.”

  “I am happy for his safe return.” She looked at Elspeth. “Should we discuss this without your apprentice?”

  Elspeth laughed.

  “She plans to wed soon. It is better she gains what knowledge she can before then.” She gestured the queen to a chair. “I will prepare some new teas for you to drink daily. Along with that, might I suggest a bath immediately before inviting the king to bed you? It will relax you and might make the experience more enjoyable. I also recommend opening your bed to him at least every third day.”

  The queen nodded, a hint of resignation in her eyes. I hoped I would never look like that at the thought of bedding Atwell. My skin tingled at the memory of our recent bedding, and I knew he would always be welcomed by me.

  “Well, kiss her already, boy,” Elspeth said.

  She chuckled when Atwell’s lips met mine in a brief, chaste kiss.

  “I will see you before dusk,” he said.

  I nodded and watched him walk away. My heart couldn’t have been fuller. And although I craved to bask in my husband’s adoration, I knew there would be time enough for that later.

  In many ways, not much had changed over the past month. I continued to assist as Elspeth’s apprentice, and Elspeth and I still visited the queen often. The number of people reported missing had diminished with each passing day. As had the beast sightings at night. The last one had been killed over a week ago.

  In other ways, everything had changed. I lived with Atwell as the new Mrs. Cartwright, secret friend of the queen of Drisdall. I’d found a purpose and place in life and loved every moment of it.

  The queen greeted us with tea and cakes in her private chambers.

  “You look pleased,” I said, noting the color in her cheeks.

  “Very pleased. The warm baths and time have improved my outlook on nightly visits. The king’s attentions are,” the color in her cheeks darkened, “most welcome.”

  “I’m happy for you, Your Majesty,” Elspeth said. My encouraging and Elspeth’s herbal knowledge had done much to help the queen overcome her distaste of bed play.

  “And,” the queen added, “although it is too soon to make any announcement, I missed my cycle.”

  “Congratulations, Your Majesty,” Elspeth said then glanced at me.

  “When was your last cycle, Margaret?”

  Still smiling from the queen’s news, I looked at my friend in confusion.

  “Cycle?” I though
t back. And realized I hadn’t had one since I’d left home. My smile faded then reappeared twice as big.

  “It seems that congratulations are due to both of you ladies,” Elspeth said.

  A door burst open.

  “It’s getting worse, Sevil. Ten were found by—”

  The king stopped short at the sight of us. Elspeth stood and curtsied. I did the same.

  “Excuse us,” he said abruptly.

  We turned to leave, but the queen stopped us.

  “Elspeth. Margaret. Wait. Aftan, I know how you feel about magic, but I’m begging you to entrust them with your confidence. They helped us once. Perhaps they can—”

  A bright blue light emanated from the neckline of the queen’s gown. A twin light came from under the king’s neckcloth.

  The king and queen both gasped. The king reached for his amulet, and Sevil launched herself at him to smack his hand away.

  “Do not!”

  A little boy came running into the room.

  “Mother! The necklace is glowing. I didn’t touch it like you said.”

  “You’re a very good boy, Greydon,” she said, still holding her husband’s gaze. “It needs to stay in contact with your skin to protect you.” King Aftan lowered his hand.

  “How long will this glow?” he asked, directing the question at Elspeth.

  “The duration of the spell directed at you.”

  No sooner had she said the words than the glow faded. The royal family remained whole and healthy. A cry went up somewhere within the castle. It wasn’t long after that someone entered at a run.

  “Your Majesty. The royal advisers are dead.”

  “All of them?”

  “All twelve.”

  The king glanced at us and dismissed the messenger with a wave of his hand.

  “Greydon, find your teacher, and tell him you will be joining us for dinner.”

  Once the boy was gone and the door closed, the king faced Elspeth.

  “There are no more bitten. The last one was put to death five days after the pillars fell.”

  “The missing people?” she asked.