Johnny and The USed Wonz

by DaNeo Duran

  When Grace left with Little Spirit, Johnny looked at the three most important souls in his life.

  He had their attention. ‘I feel ashamed to love you guys as I do knowing I’ve kept so much of myself from you.’

  ‘It’s okay,’ Christine said. ‘We understand.’

  ‘Well, the lady out there knows a lot about the me I used to be; more than I do. Seems she’s determined I know the stuff too.’

  Mazz went to his side.

  ‘What stuff?’ Stu ventured.

  Johnny’s head hung. ‘She knows my birth name; a name I never want to hear again.’

  Again Christine said, ‘It’s okay. We understand you’d want to move on from whatever caused your scars.’

  ‘Thanks babe, that means a lot to me. I feel such a fraud. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away about losing the money and why I gambled it.’

  Christine nodded. Reaching over Johnny gave Stu’s shoulder a squeeze.

  ‘Anyway,’ Johnny said trying to focus on one thing at a time, ‘the lady out there was a teacher of mine. I’ve given her a backstage pass and agreed to see her later at the Posthouse.’

  ‘D’you fancy her?’ Stu asked out of leftfield.

  ‘What makes you ask that?’ Johnny said.

  ‘I had a peek, she’s alright. But she looks more your type.’

  ‘Old, you mean?’ Christine said; an edge to her voice which Johnny ignored.

  Johnny said, ‘She’s married now but she was the subject of a healthy schoolboy crush. Well spotted Stu.’

  He reached for Danny’s guitar and straightened the sheet of paper Linah had given him. He recalled the melody but only one chord – C with a high F.

  * * *

  Front of house, following the nauseatingly repetitive bashing of one drum after another, Linah finally enjoyed Little Spirit’s soundcheck. Performing two songs she recognised off the radio, the band displayed not little but great big spirit.

  That said, when The USed Wonz stepped out she sensed a spiritual shift; greater depth to the four souls.

  After instrument checks they also performed two songs which Linah recognised from her daily listens of their album. In contrast to Little Spirit, she felt enlivened by The USed Wonz’ gutsy anthems.

  Too soon they finished. All but Johnny left the stage.

  Standing further from his mic he wound the guitar’s volume back and looked her in the eye.

  ‘Hey, Linah,’ he said. ‘Name this tune.’

  She listened to Johnny’s effortlessly finger-picked chords and didn’t know what to think when his raised eyebrow questioned her.

  She smiled and shook her head, I don’t know.

  His eyebrows dropped and Linah’s smile relaxed with another mood change.

  Her throat tightened when closing his eyes he sang, ‘How can he say there’s no faith …’

  Finally she saw him as Johnny Won. Whilst he might always think of her as Miss Wilkinson she, remembering the little boy singing those words years earlier, now heard the same melody from the deeply passionate musician on stage. She knew on the one hand digging up his past would be pointless and yet, on the other hand, essential.

  His ending the song broke the emotion. Linah clapped and walked to the stage. Johnny crouched in close.

  ‘I understand how difficult me being here must be,’ she said, ‘but hearing you sing your songs, particularly the last one has made the whole trip worthwhile.’

  She told him she’d back soon and not to worry about a thing. Leaving the building she realised she didn’t have long. Fortunately Marks and Sparks and the hotel both lay nearby.

  * * *

  Linah arrived back at the venue dressed for a rock concert as best she could with the clothes she’d brought.

  She found Johnny backstage. He looked her up and down with a smile.

  ‘Don’t worry I’ll try again for the restaurant,’ she said self-consciously.

  ‘I didn’t say anything,’ Johnny said holding his hands up. His shirt fell open revealing abs her husband would kill for.

  ‘Anyway,’ she said not knowing where to look, ‘you can talk, is that makeup?’

  ‘Part of the job,’ he said un-phased.

  ‘Well I realise I don’t look the part.’

  ‘You look lovely. Anyway, it’s time I went to work. I’ll be back soon.’

  Linah stood clear as Johnny and Mazz accepted their instruments from their technicians and strolled into the lights.

  They may have been the support band but they received warmth, cheers and wolf whistles from the audience.

  Everything they’d been in soundcheck got turned up for the show: Johnny’s splayed-leg rock stance, Mazz’s stiletto pirouettes and work with the drums where she and Stu locked eyes and rhythms, Stu’s stick twirls and Christine’s swaying hips, delicate keyboard touch and dramatic synth sweeps.

  In the wings Linah felt enveloped by the hormones emanating from band and audience.

  Closing her eyes she paradoxically heard Johnny’s guitar as molten gold pouring coolly to her. His voice resonated in her sinuses as if massaging her brain with sincerity.

  The heat progressed to hot and red-hot as their set proceeded.

  Finally Johnny asked if the crowed wanted to see Little Spirit. Of course they did but their screams had almost reached apex in appreciation of The USed Wonz.

  ‘If you want Little Spirit raise your voices. They won’t appear if they can’t hear you.’ The crowd went nuts. ‘Last one to sing along to. If Little Spirit can hear you singing back there they’ll be out real soon.’

  The crowd sang along to The USed Wonz’ last song.

  In a pre-playout section Johnny said, ‘I’m Johnny Won. On my left Christine Won. On drums, Stewie Won and to my right Mazz Won. We’re The USed Wonz.’

  You certainly are, Linah thought as Johnny broke concentration from the audience and looked at her the first time.

  * * *

  Linah waited in the wings watching the first part of Little Spirit’s set whilst Johnny went to cool off with his band.

  Soon Johnny slipped with her unnoticed through the backdoor and headed for the Posthouse where they separated for their respective rooms to change for the meal. Linah couldn’t guess how nervous Johnny might be but guessed he’d not reckon on the extent of her nerves either.

  Other than the outfit she’d worn to meet Simon Alden, the clothes in her suitcase had been chosen largely to settle her husband’s uneasiness about their spending a night apart. But she hadn’t budgeted for soundchecks and she’d left herself little time to choose something suitable to wear when dinner with Johnny became the plan.

  Knowing whatever Marks and Spencer had wouldn’t make it back to Carlisle, price had been her main concern and she’d bought hastily. With her boots failing to compliment the garment she’d added suede heels to her purchase with equal hast.

  * * *

  One floor up from Linah, Johnny paced the room, shadow sparring to rid his fear and the insane curiosity that had welled in him. He gave up when the sweat he’d just showered reappeared. He left a note for Stu next to the mini kettle and headed to Room-411.

  He knocked on his ex-teacher’s door. ‘You ready?’

  ‘Hang on.’

  He tapped his foot and drummed his fingers picturing police on the other side.

  The door swung wide.

  ‘Wow,’ Johnny said. She looked stunning but seemed to misunderstand his glance around and behind her.

  ‘Wrong again, I know I’m sorry,’ she said indicating her attire.

  ‘No, you look amazing.’

  ‘It’s tacky and OTT.’

  Johnny barely heard her. Happier seeing no cops he enjoyed the sight of the woman turned out in floor-length dress slashed to the mid-thigh.

  She told him to behave when he kept staring. ‘We’ve got serious matters to discuss remember. Lead on.’

  At the restaurant a waiter asked Johnny whether they’d like to be seated or go to
the bar first.

  Johnny looked at Linah respectfully.

  ‘Let’s sit,’ Linah said.

  Despite the short walk her shoes, one size too small, caused her eyes to water.

  Once seated, Johnny showed her a mixed smile. Linah noted he didn’t look cocky as he had on stage. That he didn’t want to discuss the past couldn’t have been clearer.

  ‘Relax,’ she said. ‘Let’s eat then we can say what needs to be said.’

  The food came. They talked causally; him about the band and his Linda Lake, she about herself and daughters. Then she stopped.

  She sensed him becoming distant.

  They skipped desert favouring coffee at the table. He lumped spoonfuls of sugar into the cup and pushed the spoon round and round for ages.

  Linah lowered her head to look up into his face. He seemed not to be there.

  ‘Your dad—’

  ‘I’ve spent half my life forgetting him,’ he said with eyes piercing her like steel. ‘I don’t know or care about him. If you’re here to tell me he’s suffering; well, he deserves to. If he’s dying then you can tell him to hurry up.’

  ‘Well—’

  ‘No. I don’t want to hear another word.’ He threw himself backwards in the chair.

  Linah’s eyebrows knotted with horrified concern.

  Her school teacher persona stepped up. ‘I’ve not come this way to discuss guitar chords with you.’ Johnny didn’t respond. ‘I know whether that terrible man lived or died.’

  Johnny’s eyes narrowed. Linah saw curiosity.

  ‘And it’s high time you knew,’ she said.

  Johnny leaned forwards but faced the table.

  When his face finally lifted Linah said, ‘Oh my god, you’re terrified.’

  ’You’ve no idea what I’ve put myself through to get here; how lucky I am to have this band and my friends. If you think I’m going anywhere near that city again—’

  ‘He’s dead.’

  Again Johnny threw himself backwards into the chair and rolled his head.

  His hands went to his face then fell away. ‘Don’t you understand . .?’

  ‘Understand?’ Linah did not understand. His reaction baffled her. He looked as though he wanted to scream, or cry, or maybe even laugh.

  She reached across the table.

  His hands moved away so she picked up a teaspoon, like that’d been her intention. ‘Help me out. Johnny. Help me understand.’

  He swallowed hard. ‘When did he die?’

  ‘The night you vanished.’

  ‘Oh God almighty.’ His elbows hit the table. His hands covered his face.

  ‘Is everything alright here?’

  Linah looked up at the waiter. ‘I … don’t know.’ She looked across the table. ‘Johnny?’

  His hands came down. He looked at the waiter. ‘It depends how long of a prison sentence I’ll get.’

  ‘Prison?’ Linah said incredulously. ‘We’ll be okay from here,’ she said dismissing the waiter.

  Dropping the teaspoon she took Johnny’s hands. ‘Is that what this is about?’ She lowered her voice. ‘You think you killed your dad?’

  ‘Didn’t I?’ Johnny looked at her. Could he trust her?

  Still holding his hands Linah looked to one side as if checking for eavesdroppers. ‘He was discovered on the Saturday morning you vanished at the bottom of the stairs.’

  ‘Sounds about right. Dead?’

  ‘Nearly. He was taken to hospital but he’d been haemorrhaging too long to resuscitate him.’

  ‘Haemorrhaging?’

  ‘Yes. I read all this whilst searching for clues as to your whereabouts. His room was full of empty whisky bottles.’

  ‘Right again.’

  ‘He was a poorly man. He had esophageal varices.’

  ‘Come again.’

  ‘They’re not unlike varicose veins, but in the lower oesophagus. If they burst they bleed until treated. Treatment came too late.’

  Johnny closed his eyes. In the blackness he saw the devil reaching but missing the banister. He remembered kicking him in the chest and stomach.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Linah’s voice soothed.

  Johnny opened his yes. ‘So the cause of death?’

  ‘The varices.’ Her expression showed doubt as to whether he’d been listening.

  ‘No mention of bruising?’

  ‘Some, I think.’

  ‘Did you read the police reports?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘The bruises? They presumed he’d fallen down the stairs. I’m guessing that’s not quite right.’

  ‘Close enough. What about me?’

  ‘A huge search. You were all over local news.’

  Johnny snorted a laugh. ‘Local hey?’

  ‘More than that. News spread this far and into Scotland.’

  ‘I see. But I actually meant didn’t I appear in the police reports in connection to his death?’

  ‘No. The pathologist’s report was satisfactory. If he hadn’t died that night he’d have likely passed soon enough.’

  Johnny sighed and stared at his ex-music teacher, picked up his coffee and drank it in one. ‘Fancy another?’

  More coffees arrived. Johnny stirred plenty of sugar then looked at Linah. She stared at him with compassion but with something else too.

  ‘What did he do to make you hate him so badly?’

  ‘You’ve no idea have you?’

  ‘No. If it was that bad …’ Linah couldn’t think how to end the sentence.

  ‘It was bearable with Frank.’

  Linah nodded and added cream to her coffee.

  Looking him in the eye she asked, ‘What happened at the top of the stairs?’

  Johnny said nothing. The air thickened.

  Finally he relaxed and sat back with his coffee. ‘You might be wearing a wire.’

  She raised an eyebrow. ‘In this dress?’

  He shrugged and sipped his coffee.

  ‘Sleep with me?’ she said.

  Johnny nearly choked.

  Putting his cup down, he looked for signs of amusement on the teacher’s face. ‘You’re married.’

  ‘And you’re besotted with another woman.’

  ‘True.’

  They looked at each other.

  ‘It’s the only way to be sure I’m not wearing a wire.’

  ‘D’you love your husband?’

  She nodded. He believed her.

  ‘Have you ever … you know, been unfaithful, before?’

  She shook her head, not taking her eyes of his. ‘I didn’t come here to seduce you,’ she said.

  ‘No, I don’t think you did,’ he said thoughtfully.

  ‘I mean, I thought about it this afternoon but even after seeing you play I didn’t know I’d say what I just did.’

  ‘Then you can’t be certain you want to sleep with me.’

  ‘But I am. Very.’

  He took her hand.

  Same touch as earlier – wholly different meaning. ‘Okay.’

  ‘I’ve spent the last ten years wondering about you; about the young man who rang me on his sixteenth birthday and told me his fantasy. That was quite a surprise.’

  Johnny nodded remembering it well. ‘I’ve seen some action since then I’m afraid.’

  ‘Don’t be. Leave the being afraid to me.’

  ‘Are you, afraid?’

  ‘As a woman, fourteen years older than you and ten years older than the woman you used to know; yes a little.’

  ‘You are every bit as beautiful today as the day I first saw you.’

  ‘Okay,’ she said. ‘That’s a good start.’

  ‘Besides I’ve had women twice your age.’ He smiled.

  She grimaced. ‘Have you?’

  He thought about it. ‘I’ve had women twice the age you were when we met.’

  ‘I see. That’s better then. Shall we?’

  He took her arm unaware of the pain her too small shoes caused.
/>
  * * *

  Johnny stood back watching Linah’s trembling hands fumble with the key. She opened her bedroom door; Johnny followed.

  Inside, he leaned her against the closed door and brought his face as slowly as he could bear to hers.

  She didn’t back out. Her breathing came raggedly. Her wide eyes only closed when his lips closed around hers.

  Spinning her, the pair stood where the room’s mirror caught their reflection.

  Standing behind her he wrapped his arms round her waist. ‘You see that. That’s you with another man. Are you sure you want this?’

  ‘Hmmm,’ she said with desire but tugged at the rings on her finger.

  ‘A-ah. Leave them. You don’t stop being married just because you’re with me. You do this because you want to.’

  She looked at him for a moment, nodded and pushed the rings back on.

  Friday 31th August 1984

  Linah opened her eyes recalling the hotel bedroom and the previous night. The enigma slept on beside her. She could still hardly believe she’d found him. He really existed.

  They’d gone through two of the three-pack of condoms Johnny just happened to have.

  After the first one she saw his back. She could have cried seeing the damaged skin; feeling angry at herself and everyone else for not knowing what had been going on. She’d told him she hoped he’d brought a painful premature death to the evil that had failed to protect and raise his own kids responsibly. How could such a helpless soul have tolerated so much cruelty?

  But Barry Peters hadn’t been helpless. He’d become Johnny Won.

  Linah hadn’t for a moment stopped loving her husband or daughters. Somehow, yet simply, she’d found extra love for Johnny. She’d fallen asleep cuddled into him and willing as much love as possible upon him.

  Slipping out of bed she crept to the bathroom, showered and brushed her teeth.

  She came back to find Johnny sitting with his feet off the bed recovering Tic Tacs from his jeans. His smile drew her to him.

  She stood before him cradling his head to her stomach now knotting with the worry of what still remained unsaid. But in sensing Johnny’s next wave of arousal coming on strong her body responded sympathetically and too quickly.

  Johnny, with his face tucked into her abdomen felt her breathing match his as an unstoppable desire took hold. Tightening his hold around her he stood lifting her high off the ground. He felt her fingers gripping his shoulders. Turning round he threw her to the bed and looked down on a woman as passionate and wanting as any he’d ever seen.

  Moments later the pair exploded and collapsed breathless.

  Linah released him, too amazed to speak. They’d have to wait for the euphoria to pass before she could broach the subject of the past again.