Dance With Me

by Kristin Leigh

  How could someone like Major believe that? He’d seen things to rival the evil of her childhood. He should be as critical and guarded as she was. But Rebecca had watched as Major shed more than his clothes. His mask had fallen away sometime in the darkness and desire, revealing a shattered and worn man. And somewhere beneath all the shadows was a man who assumed most people were fundamentally decent. It was beautiful—he was beautiful—in a broken, dejected way. The way a landscape was beautiful after fall and winter had ravaged the life there. It was raw and stunning in its sheer ability to break the heart.

  Rebecca sighed as sadness soaked into her skin as surely as the frigid raindrops. Major was the first real man she’d known. The first man who’d given all of himself for the greater good. Even Dillan—ugh, especially Dillan—and the SEAL teams he worked with didn’t sacrifice themselves so fully. Major was everything she should hate, just like the rain. He was a Uniform, whether he wore it or not, and he answered to no one. But much like the gales that gave her peace, Rebecca couldn’t hate him. Major was her storm, the man she’d never allowed herself to long for. And she’d gotten one beautiful, perfect night with him to last her a lifetime.

  Rebecca sighed and choked back tears. She didn’t want to cry, but dammit, it was so unfair. Her life pretty much boiled down to two spectacular nights: one with Major and one alone. Different in every possible way, but equally powerful. She didn’t want two soul-wrenching moments. She wanted a lifetime with tiny bits of happiness scattered here and there, and she suspected Major would have been able to give her that if he was free. Rebecca pressed her palms against her eyes. She wasn’t meant to have a life with sprinkles on top the way her friends were. She’d tried to force it with Dillan and look at what a disaster that had been.

  Finally at the end of the dock, Rebecca propped her elbows on the splintery wood and watched the water disappear beneath the warped timbers of the wharf. The gray sky had begun to give way to twilight and Rebecca squinted at the ripples caressing the lapping water. She couldn’t have Major and she wouldn’t settle for anything less. Nothing less would make her happy.

  Happy. She sighed and closed her eyes. She would never have what her friends had—a loving family, a tender husband, and eventually a house full of children. But she could do the same thing she’d done for nine years: hang on to what she did have with fierceness and determination. She could appreciate the one night she’d had with Major, and hold his memory close as long as she could.

  It was dark by the time Rebecca left, feeling her way along the splintery planks of the unlit dock until she came to the dim lighting of the parking lot. She drove home, feeling much more at peace than she had in months.

  Chapter 7

  The major flung the sheaf of papers he was studying across the room and watched them flutter to the floor. Two weeks. It had been two fucking weeks and every time it goddamn rained he couldn’t focus. He’d get restless, feverish, and consumed with flashes of pale skin and dark red hair. Then he’d get the hard-on from hell. This is ridiculous. The major stared at the scattered phone records he’d been perusing, though his mind was as far from his mission as it was possible to be.

  It was supposed to be one time. Just once. He’d known that from the start, when he’d made a split second decision to follow Rebecca out the door instead of letting her go. The major had understood at the end when he stood watching her sleep that he would never be able to touch her again.

  But apparently his subconscious didn’t get the memo. Because the drumming rain on the roof of the cheap motel sounded agonizingly sensual. The major drug his fingers through his hair. He’d let it grow again and hadn’t bothered dying it. He was under the radar now, avoiding contact at all costs. So there was no need to alter his appearance even slightly, except on the rare occasion he ventured outside to buy food, and even that could be delivered.

  Just make sure she’s okay. The major snorted. He didn’t have to make sure she was okay. Rebecca was passionate, outspoken, and tough as nails. She was like a cat: she’d always land on her feet. She might be pissed as hell and cause a fuck-load of trouble, but still…she was strong enough to move on. Especially since all he’d been to her was a one-time thing, a single night of passion with a mysterious man. One time.

  The words repeated themselves over and over until they formed a fiery ball in the major’s belly. Rage bubbled up and filled every corner of his body, tingling along his spine and into his fingertips until he roared and expelled the fury in a single blow to the wall. The cheap plaster crumbled into powder around his fist and his knuckles ended up planted against a solid piece of concrete. Fuck. Cheap-ass piece of shit. Now he’d have to fix it or they would remember him after he left. Not to mention his hand was bleeding.

  The major strode into the bathroom and ran water over his bloody knuckles, watching the pink water swirl down the drain. He turned the water off and stared at his reflection, barely noticing the trickle of blood still dripping from his bruised hand. Go. Suddenly it was too much to bear and he doubled over as emotions, pent up for eleven years, bombarded him. The major pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and moaned, misery and indecision warring in his mind.

  “Your scars are marks on their soul, not yours.”

  The major choked back a lump in his throat and pushed his hands harder into his eyes against a suspicious burning sensation.

  Soft, sad voice, “No one ever gets to know?”

  She would, and God, that mattered so much to him, that someone would remember him. Him, not just the ghost, but the man he’d become. “You’ll know.”

  In an instant, it became clear. The major stood straight again and lowered his hands. Then he spun and flipped on the shower.

  * * * *

  Rebecca yawned as she unlocked her door and pushed it open. She’d stopped by Tara’s house after school to drop off some lotion Tara had ordered and had ended up staying until dinner. Mike had insisted Rebecca eat with them, then Madelynn had demanded they all play Candyland. Rebecca shook her head with a smile. Madelynn would play that game until the sun came up if she had half a chance. Rebecca just hoped Madelynn wasn’t in her second-grade class when the time came. She’d have a hard time saying “no” to those emerald-green eyes. They were Mike’s eyes and had been the first thing about him that Rebecca had noticed so many years ago. She’d hated Mike on Tara’s behalf for so long that it felt odd to welcome him into their little circle of friends.

  Rebecca locked the door behind her and smiled. Mike was trying very hard to be better, and he was obviously succeeding. Rebecca was happy for her friend. But Tara’s return to Michael following on the footsteps of Callie’s engagement was depressing. Toss Major into the equation and Rebecca was downright miserable. Resigned and accepting, but still miserable.

  She didn’t bother turning the lights on as she moved through her house. There was never anything just lying around for her to trip over, and Rebecca knew every inch of the tiny little duplex like the back of her hand. She hung her jacket and purse on the coat tree and stretched as she made her way to the kitchen for a glass of water.

  She retrieved a glass and filled it with ice and water from the dispenser in the refrigerator. She’d drunk almost half before she realized someone stood in the dining room watching her. Creepy as hell!

  Rebecca screamed and instinctively threw the glass at the intruder before darting out of the kitchen toward the front door.

  She’d barely made it two steps before she heard, “Rebecca, wait!” Strong hands grabbed her upper arms and she twisted and pulled in an attempt to get away. “Rebecca! Stop it!” The intruder’s hard voice filtered through the panic and Rebecca stilled. “It’s just me.”

  “Major?” She whispered and tried to turn to look at him. He didn’t let her, just pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry.” He murmured the words against her ear, his breath hot as it brushed against her
. Rebecca shivered.

  “How…?” Her voice was scratchy and wobbly, probably due to the earsplitting screams she’d let loose less than a minute before. She cleared her throat and tried again. “How did you get in?”

  Major turned her gently in his arms and looked down at her. Rebecca couldn’t make out his features well in the darkness, but she could feel how tense his muscles were. She rested her hands on his biceps and leaned into him slightly.

  “It’s not hard to get past locks.” He tugged her gently until Rebecca could feel every line of his body pressed against her.

  She laughed softly. Of course. “Yeah, I guess it’s not difficult for a man of your talents.” He didn’t respond, just held her silently. She swallowed and worked up her courage to whisper, “I thought you were gone.”

  Major sighed and released her. Rebecca wrapped her arms around her waist, trying to keep some of his heat close. “I should be. I tried. But I just…” He turned and paced, rubbing the back of his neck. “I wanted to make sure you were all right.”

  Rebecca cocked her head to the side. He was checking up on her? It was sweet and so completely outside of anything she would have expected from him. She opened her mouth to respond, to lie and tell him she was fine and hadn’t given it a second thought. But he interrupted her.

  “I don’t do this, you know.” Major stopped pacing and put his hands on his hips. He watched her for a few moments before jerking a hand through his hair and rubbing his neck again. Then he started pacing. Rebecca stifled a smile. He was nervous. “I don’t…not for a long time. I uh…I just…” He sputtered into silence and stopped pacing. He continued kneading his neck until Rebecca was worried he was actually going to cause damage.

  She took the three steps necessary to reach out and grab his hand before he managed to chafe the back of his neck completely raw. “Are you trying to say that you were worried about me? That it felt like more than a one-night stand and you wanted to make sure I wasn’t hurt when you left?”

  Major looked around and shook his head back and forth slowly. Then he stopped and squeezed his eyes shut. He took a deep, quaking breath and whispered, “Yes.”

  Rebecca took a step to the side so that they were face-to-face. His eyes were still closed. She framed his face with her hands and whispered, “Look at me.” He opened his eyes to peer at her and she smiled up at him. “It was more than a one-night stand. And it did hurt when I realized I’d never see you again. But I understood. I understand. And you’re back now and…” She swallowed and mustered her courage. “And even if you’re only back for a little while, I’ll take it.”

  Major’s breath hissed between his teeth and suddenly Rebecca was yanked against him as he covered her lips with his.

  Rebecca reveled in his kiss: the pressure of his lips, the sweep of his tongue into her mouth. The hard muscles of his shoulders were tense beneath her fingers, and she massaged gently, attempting to relax him.

  Major pulled his lips from hers and Rebecca watched as he closed his eyes and shook his head. “How do you do this to me?” His voice was low, husky, and had an angry edge. His eyes shot open and he growled, “Tell me to leave. For your own sake.”

  Rebecca shook her head. If he kept popping up like this she would eventually have to put an end to it. It would be too devastating to her heart and mind. But not yet. “No,” she whispered. “I want you to stay. Even if you’re gone in the morning.”

  He closed his eyes again and gritted his teeth. “I will be.”

  “Okay,” she whispered. His jaw clenched tighter and she stroked his face gently. The short, coarse hairs that covered his jaw caught against the skin of her fingertips and palm. He shuddered.

  “It shouldn’t be okay,” Major ground out. He opened his eyes and pierced her with a cold, hard stare. “You should want better than this. Than me.”

  Rebecca didn’t respond. There was no point in arguing over it. Instead, she wrapped her hands in the soft cotton of his shirt and tugged, walking backward into her bedroom. He’d be gone in the morning, and she didn’t know when, if ever, he’d come back to her.

  Major followed, pressing his hands over the fingers she’d clasped in his shirt until they reached her bedroom. Rebecca sat on her bed and trailed her hands down until she could lift the hem of his shirt to touch the warm skin beneath.

  He inhaled sharply and whatever protest or objection he was probably going to voice died when her fingers reached his nipples. Rebecca stroked him, noting the indentation of a scar through the center of the right nipple. The tiny buds hardened beneath her touch. She stood and yanked his shirt over his head. He had to help because of the height difference and looked a little uncomfortable when his mangled chest was bared to her.

  Rebecca leaned forward to lick the scarred nipple lightly and worked on the button of his jeans. When the button popped free and she drug the zipper down, Major groaned and tangled his hands in her hair. Rebecca kissed a trail across his chest and took his other nipple in her mouth as she pulled him free of his briefs.

  He was thick and long and Rebecca thought she heard him say her name. But if he had, it was incoherent and drowned out by the heavy breaths being ripped from his chest. She pulled her lips from his nipple and sat back down on the bed. She tugged gently on his hip, encouraging him to take a half step forward. When he did, she wrapped her lips around his cock and skated her fingers up his muscled abdomen and chest until she encountered the hard points of his nipples again. She tweaked and pulled at the peaks while sucking him farther into her mouth.

  A shaky moan escaped his lips and he ran his hands through her hair repeatedly. Rebecca released him from her mouth and gazed up at him. His dark eyes were feverish, bright, and his lips were parted with excitement.

  “Did you like that?” Rebecca asked softly, rubbing her fingers over the peaks of his scarred nipples.

  He nodded and pulled her head back to him. “Yeah. More.”

  She smiled and obediently opened her mouth as he guided himself back to her. A low growl rumbled from his chest when she circled the plush head and sucked him deep.

  He pushed her away suddenly, and Rebecca looked up at him questioningly.

  “I don’t want to come in your mouth,” he explained, his voice hoarse and low.

  Rebecca cocked an eyebrow. That was a new one.

  Major leaned down and wrapped his arms around her chest to drag her up the bed. He tore her blouse open and pushed the cups of her bra up and over her breasts. When she was bared to him, he lowered his head and pulled a nipple into his mouth.

  Rebecca shuddered at the sweet pleasure, then cried out when he bit her gently. She unsnapped her slacks and slid her hands beneath her panties, pushing them down as far as she could. She was ready for this now.

  Major sat up and helped her, yanking the offending clothes off and throwing them across the room. He remained silent, his black gaze roving her body as he positioned himself between her legs. His pants were still around his thighs and Rebecca’s blouse and bra were twisted out of the way. But it didn’t matter. Because Major was here, and he wanted her, and Rebecca didn’t know how much time they would have.

  He held himself up with one hand by her head and used the other hand to place his engorged penis at her entrance. He pushed in, barely an inch, and then balanced on both hands. His body was open to her, blatantly displayed with only his hips touching hers, riding against her.

  He thrust in slow, tormenting movements, dragging the flared head of his cock along the swollen tissues inside that ached and burned. Rebecca returned her hands to his chest and caressed the ridges and indentations that covered him.

  Major threw his head back and squeezed his eyes closed with a shout that he quickly cut off. Rebecca arched her hips into each stroke, tightening her core and racing him to orgasm.

  He lowered his head and opened his eyes, pinning her to the pillow with the dark, glittering hunger revealed there. She brought her hands to her breasts and kneaded the soft flesh, pin
ching her nipples. Major dragged his eyes from hers and grunted as he watched her manipulate the full globes. He sped up and Rebecca pushed her pelvis into his, her body throbbing with lust. She watched the muscles flex in his abdomen with each plunge. Each tug on her nipples sent a responding tremor to her sex, building the tension unbearably.

  Major suddenly sped up, shoving himself inside of her with short, hard strokes. Rebecca’s breath caught as the pressure grew, tightening excruciatingly before snapping. Her back bowed and her hands fell away from her breasts to grip his thighs.

  His thrusts stopped and Major threw his head back with a roar, his cock crammed as deeply inside of her as it was possible to be. The fullness was overwhelming as her body attempted to clench around him as she came. She felt the heat and wetness of his release coating her thighs as he fell over her, bracing himself on his hands.

  His eyes were closed, his breath heaving from his chest. “I…” He stopped, took a few deep breaths and said, “I can’t stay.” Major’s eyes snapped open and he repeated, “I can’t stay.”

  Rebecca nodded and tried to catch her breath. “I know.”

  He lowered himself fully onto her and crushed her lips with his. His tongue slid deep and he thrust his hips again. “I can’t stay,” he said again.

  Rebecca frowned at him. He’d said that already. Three times. “It’s okay. I know you can’t.”

  Major let out an agonized moan and buried his face in her neck. “I can’t stay,” he whispered tortuously in her ear, his voice breaking slightly. And Rebecca understood.

  She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and stroked his neck lightly. Her heart broke for him, for the man that wanted only to be a man, but had committed himself to something far greater.

  “Shh,” she whispered, placing a soft kiss to his ear. “It’s okay. You’re here now.”

  He let out a frustrated groan and began thrusting again. “One more time,” he whispered. “Just one more.”