Desired by the Bear Book 3

by V. Vaughn

  Chapter 22

  Kelsey

  The acrid and almost sewer-like odor of the mud flats fills my nose as I gaze out over the ocean from my perch on the edge of a rock ledge. A staircase is off to my left, and it leads down to the beach below, but something about sitting up here where I can look down at a drop that will no longer kill me feels right. Hot tears burn as they roll down my cheeks, and the crash of the wave fills my ears. I totally and completely lost it at the gym today, and I think it’s because I’ve made a big mistake. Being a werebear isn’t as wonderful as I thought it would be. My vision is blurry with a veil of moisture since I can’t stop crying, and I lower my head to my hands.

  When I was human, I lived in a protective bubble I had no idea existed. My world had rules and systems of punishment that kept the general population safe. Before moving here, nothing bad ever happened to me, and while I took the usual precautions to stay safe like locking my door or staying away from rough neighborhoods, I never worried that something would.

  Changing to a werebear has propelled me into a culture with primitive laws in place, and I can no longer rely on others to keep me buffered from life’s harsh realities. It all became clear the moment I walked into the gym this morning. I picked out a cute outfit to wear for my first session of fight training thinking it would help me with my nerves. I knew I was walking into a place where I’d be the weakest and least trained. I regretted my clothing choice within moments of arriving. When I walked by a group of guys, a strong, musky odor hit me, and my bear recognized it immediately as the smell of lust. Suddenly, my need to be attractive horrified me, because I would have done that to go to a human gym too, and I would have enjoyed the smiles from male onlookers. But now I realize they may have had the same desires, and when I was a clueless human, their reaction wouldn’t have registered in my brain.

  I didn’t have time to process why that realization was so disturbing before I saw Nadia. I went to her in relief, and at first I enjoyed our workout. She was impressed with my skills from previous sports I’d participated in, and I thought things were going well. But when she suggested we fight, I should have known I was in trouble. I let out a groan as I recall that when she started to hit me, I melted into an emotional puddle in the sparring ring. The warrior spirit Isabelle told me I had was nowhere to be found as I huddled up like a wounded animal.

  I’ve never liked fighting, and I can remember I managed even as a kid to avoid sparring in tae kwon do class. I rose up through a few belts but finally quit when the pressure from my friends to fight got too great. I even take my need for peace so far that I’ve been known to apologize for something I didn’t do just to avoid an argument. So when Nadia started to hit me, I reacted like the coward I am as I recalled the pain I experienced being beaten by Izzy.

  I squeeze my eyes shut as my cheeks burn with my shame. Nadia eventually talked me into sparring, though, if you can call it that. I rub my hand at the memory of it. Of course, with my new healing powers, it doesn’t hurt. My stomach clenches as I recall Nadia telling me that I will likely have to defend myself one day. The thought terrifies me.

  “There you are.” I turn to Val’s voice, and when he realizes I’ve been crying, he rushes over to sit next to me on the rock wall. He tilts my chin up with his finger. “What’s wrong?”

  I gaze at the man I love more than I ever could have imagined. How do I tell him that I made a choice for him and now I regret it? “Did you hear what happened at the gym today?”

  “No. Tell me.”

  “I fell apart when Nadia tried to get me to spar.”

  “Oh, honey,” Val pulls me into his arms. “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Were you afraid? Did she hurt you?”

  I inhale his scent, and along with his embrace, I let it soothe me. My voice is muffled as I speak against his shirt. “She didn’t hurt me.” I think about how I was feeling when I lost it. I experienced an overwhelming sense of helplessness, and I wanted to close my eyes and make the situation go away. “I’m not sure it was fear either.” I pull back to gaze at him. “More like simple freaking out.”

  “Kelsey, are you not telling me something about what happened in the cave?”

  “No. Other than being trapped in a small cage, nothing bad happened to me when I was kidnapped.” I stand up and say, “Let’s walk on the beach.”

  Val takes my hand, and our feet thud on the wooden steps that lead down toward the water. A breeze blows through my hair as I try to think of how to express my sense of inadequacy. We both kick off our shoes, and I take him to the water. A wave washes over my feet, and it’s cool on my toes as I say, “I’m not cut out to be a werebear.” I turn to face him as he waits for me to say more. “I liked being oblivious to danger as a human.” I sigh. “I guess maybe I am afraid because I don’t think I can kill anyone.”

  “Kelsey, our clan isn’t usually in danger. I’ve gone years without having to fight, and I certainly haven’t ever had to kill anyone.”

  “No?”

  “No. But I’m not going to promise we won’t ever have to. The Eradicators are determined to wipe us out, and if I have to defend myself or you, I’ll do what it takes.”

  I smile as I place my hand on his chest. My stupid girl side likes the idea that Val would kill for me, even if the reality of it is nothing I’d really want to happen. “I’m not sure I can promise I’d do the same for you, or myself.”

  “I don’t believe that. I think today was a shock for you. You’re new to all of this, and it’s bound to be overwhelming.”

  “I know you wanted me to take time to make my decision,” I stare down at my feet and notice how my toes have sunken in as the waves wash more sand over them. “I should have listened to you, because...” I shake my head as I look up at Val. I know better. I would do anything to ensure I have the rest of my life with my true mate, and I won’t burden him with guilt over this. Besides, regretting my decision is pointless anyway because I can’t change back. “I wish I didn’t have to learn to fight, because the idea of needing the skills to stay alive does scare me.”

  “I know.” Val places his hands on my hips as he steps in close. “But like anything that is new, it can take time to get used to it. Perhaps we need to immerse you in fighting so that it’ll be second nature to you.”

  I recall how I batted at Nadia like a kitten earlier today. I do need serious training if I’m ever going to be able to handle myself in a fight. I say, “I’m beyond pathetic.” I force a laugh. “I’m not sure I’m allowed in the gym after my performance today.”

  Val smiles. “I know a personal trainer who would love to work one-on-one with you.”

  “Yeah?” I punch him playfully in the chest, and he grabs my fist to swallow it up with his.

  “Yeah.” Val leans down and brushes his lips over mine. “I think you need to see my moves, because once you do, you’ll be clamoring for more.”

  “Confidence suits you.” I nip at his lower lip as I think about the real possibility of fighting to save Val or myself. While I’m not sure I could kill, I do know I should be prepared to have the choice. “You’re hired.”

  “I require payment, though.”

  “Really?”

  “I’ll take the first installment now.” Val kisses me, and I reach up to thread my fingers through his hair as our connection intertwines and strengthens the bond of our love. As my heart fills with warmth, the truth hits me. I would kill to save Val. A chill runs down my spine at that thought, and I hope I never have to do it.

  Chapter 23

  Nadia

  Truck springs squeak as Gene drives Lance and me to get Caitlyn. René put me in charge of the mission to rescue Linda, and apparently, based on the lower-level warriors I have with me, my mate doesn’t think it’s going to be a difficult task. Even so, the idea of taking Kelsey with us to convince Linda she should be saved was a bust. Caitlyn’s twin needs time to adjust to the realities of werebear life, and I’m afraid she hasn’t got the warrior spirit Izz
y saw. So we’re moving on to plan B, which involves Caitlyn, and I don’t like it. Maybe it’s because I’ve had more than my share of bad luck in life and understand how easy it is to do what’s best for oneself, or maybe it’s because I’ve been betrayed one too many times, but I don’t have any intention of trusting Caitlyn to do as she says.

  The TV is blaring at Caitlyn’s as usual, and we can hear women’s voices squealing when we pull up. Jurgen nods at us when we get out, and before I can ask he says, “Wardrobe makeovers.”

  Gene punches his arm. “We need to get you a better gig.”

  Jurgen chuckles as he hits him back. “Tell me about it. I keep peeking in the window to see what they did.”

  Lance says, “At least you’re not watching the bride one. My sister loves that show. All those women fussing over which white dress to pick when they all look the same to me.” The door to the cabin creaks open as he speaks, and Caitlyn scowls.

  She says, “There is a very distinct difference in wedding gowns, and on a woman’s happiest day of her life, she should have one that makes her look fabulous.”

  Lance stiffens as she speaks, and his jaw drops slightly as his eyes widen. He inhales slowly as if he can’t get enough of an aroma, and now his eyelids droop as if he’s drugged. Oh my god.

  Caitlyn crosses her arms and gazes at him in confusion. “What’s up with him?” she asks.

  Jurgen covers his mouth to hide a snort. “He’s choking on his words.”

  Lance is still gawking at her as if she’s a goddess, and I ask, “Lance, haven’t you ever seen Caitlyn before?”

  He shakes his head. “I broke my leg the night before the Julie mission and wasn’t healed.”

  “Great,” I say. “C’mon, Caitlyn. I’ll explain on the way.” While, for Caitlyn, it is great she’s met her true mate, it could definitely complicate things with our mission. Or...maybe not. The girl wants forever love, and it just fell in her lap. Any idea she may have about running off with Linda is about to flee from her mind once she allows her bear to take over.

  I’m tempted to get in the back of the truck with her, but Lance scrambles into his previous seat before I get the chance. He reaches his hand out to help Caitlyn in. Judging by Caitlyn’s hesitation, I think she’s going to need time to adjust to the idea Lance is her true mate, so I say, “Careful, buddy. She’s not as sure about this as you are.”

  Caitlyn takes his hand, and when they touch, she pauses. I guess she just felt their connection. “Oh!” She glances at me. “Is he?”

  I smile at her. “He sure is. But you’ve only got a half hour to get to know each other better before we get to the grocery store to grab Linda.”

  I smile as I listen to the true mates ask each other questions. I know how finding your mate can turn your life around in an instant, and it makes me happy that Caitlyn now has a reason to stay with the Ouellette clan. With time, she’s going to heal the wounds of rejection and be able to accept the love of her father as true. She may even be able to form a friendship with her twin too.

  When we get to the grocery store, I go over our plan. Because we know Linda is alone, it should be a simple grab. And since Caitlyn will most likely convince her to come voluntarily, I don’t foresee any problems.

  Lance and Jurgen set themselves up to cover the two entrances as Caitlyn and I wait until we see Linda at the checkout through the store window. When Caitlyn is inside, I watch the two women talk. Shopping carts rattle when a customer returns hers in the corral I’m parked next to, and I see the two women embrace before Caitlyn pulls Linda aside to talk a bit more. Caitlyn points out the window toward me, and I tense to be ready in case Linda balks.

  When Linda and Caitlyn exit the store, I credit the ease of our mission to the glow of love Caitlyn is feeling. I wonder if the apparent joy oozing out of Caitlyn’s pores made Linda think that’s what living with the Ouellettes can do for you. Who wouldn’t want some of that?

  For the ride home, I have Caitlyn get in the passenger seat up front so Linda is trapped between two werebear. I recall Kelsey said Linda thinks we’re disgusting animals, so I do my best to keep as much distance from her as I can. I say, “Once we get back to our territory, we’ll take you to see the alpha of our clan. He’ll ask you what you’d like to happen, and he’ll figure out the best way to keep you safe while offering you a better life.”

  Caitlyn has turned around to face us and says, “You’ll like him. He’s really nice.”

  The scent of Linda’s fear spikes. “Will I be guarded?”

  “Yes,” I say. “But not as a prisoner. It’ll be for your safety.”

  “Can she stay with me?” Caitlyn asks.

  “That’s up to Jean Luc, but I don’t see why not.” I smile at Linda with the hope it will help ease her mind. “I’m sure you two would like time to catch up.”

  “Good,” says Caitlyn. “I’ve really missed you.”

  Linda glances outside and asks, “When do I find out what you want from me?”

  “We aren’t going to demand a thing from you,” I say. “However, what we’d like is information that can help us against the Eradicators.”

  She squints as me with disbelief. “Everybody wants something. Nothin’s ever free.”

  “I know all I did was trash-talk my family,” says Caitlyn. She looks at Lance. “But I don’t feel that way anymore. They’re good people. I promise.”

  What I think is pain flashes on Linda’s face as she lifts her chin and sets her jaw as she asks Caitlyn, “How come you never told me you were a werebear?”

  Pain flashes on Caitlyn’s face. “Because I really needed you to be my friend, and I was afraid you wouldn’t be if you knew.”

  “I wouldn’t have turned you in.”

  “I know that. But by the time I figured it out, I thought it was safer for you not to know. Did they--” Linda makes a small noise that stops Caitlyn. Caitlyn’s eyes glisten as she reaches out and touches Linda’s knee. She whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

  I watch as a muscle jumps along Linda’s jaw, and I’m impressed by the strength she displays when she says, “Same shit, different day. Wasn’t your fault.”

  “Nobody will hurt you here,” says Caitlyn. She swallows hard. “I swear it.”

  Linda shrugs. While the odor of her adrenaline has faded, I think she’ll be sleeping with one eye open tonight anyway. I understand her trepidation and would be surprised if she did feel comfortable with us. It hits me that I want to help Linda the way I helped Caitlyn because this woman reminds me of who I used to be too. I say, “We want what’s best for you, Linda. I don’t think you’ll stay with us forever, but we won’t let you leave until you’re in a position to take care of yourself and be safe.”

  She looks at me with doubt in her eyes, and I expected nothing less, but I look forward to the day I get to hug her good-bye as she embarks on a new life. And just as I stood by Caitlyn, I make Linda the same silent promise.

  Later that night, I’m on the couch in my living room with René, and I explain what I want to do for Linda. “I think she needs a skill beyond shooting and cooking for large groups. Do you think Jean Luc would train her to be a boatbuilder? She’s sturdy for a human.”

  “I don’t see why not. If that’s something she wants.”

  “I’m not sure what she wants. Right now I think she needs to work on feeling safe, and we need to keep her busy.”

  René wraps his arm around my shoulders. “You care what happens to this woman, don’t you?”

  “Yeah. She was dealt a lousy hand in life, and I want her to get another chance.” I think about how kind Annie De Rozier was to me and credit her with my ability to move on from my husband leaving me for his true mate. The biggest thanks I can give her is to offer the same generosity.

  “Then we’ll make sure it happens.”

  I turn to gaze at him. “Thank you.”

  “You’re an amazing woman, Nadia. Your kindness is a beautiful gift.”

  I want to s
hake my head and tell him I’m far from kind, because for most of my life I wasn’t. But now that I can afford to think of more than myself, I realize I’m in the position to help others both financially and emotionally. René is the reason why. “It’s all because I found you.”

  “We found each other. And I’m grateful every day.”

  I think about how Caitlyn and Lance discovered each other today, and it makes me hope that Linda can find the human version of joy too. I think she’d treasure it the way I do. I kiss my mate and let him know he’s loved.

  Chapter 24

  Izzy

  The aroma of baked goods fills my nose as I enter the donut shop near the gym. Last night I called Tally to let her know Jean Luc decided she and Marcel could be together and recognized by the clan as mated. But she was so weak, all she could do was say thanks before she fell asleep again. So I found Marcel and told him the news too. He was so excited he got someone to cover his guard shift and went to be with Tally, even if all he could do was watch her sleep.

  I imagine he feels as helpless as I do as I place an order for a dozen jelly donuts to bring to Tally. She may only manage one bite, but I got too many anyway. Since I’ve been tasked with a list of things I need to get from Tally’s magical stash, I head over to her house after my bakery errand.

  When I get out of my truck, it takes me a moment to find the path to her backyard, where I need to find specific fresh herbs. Bees buzz around tall plants with red spiky flower petals that emit a savory odor mixed with mint as I brush by them. Tally claims her landscaping is cottage style, but that’s just a nice label for ‘anything that grows is allowed.’ I glance at the picture on my phone of the first plant I’m supposed to find. Bella said it should be near the door of Tally’s potion kitchen, and I locate the slate stepping stones that lead the way.