The Collier’s Wife

by Chrissie Walsh

  Also by Chrissie Walsh

  The Girl from the Mill

  The Child from the Ash Pits

  THE COLLIER’S WIFE

  Chrissie Walsh

  AN IMPRINT OF HEAD OF ZEUS

  www.ariafiction.com

  First published in the United Kingdom in 2020 by Aria, an imprint of Head of Zeus Ltd

  Copyright © Chrissie Walsh, 2020

  The moral right of Chrissie Walsh to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  ISBN 9781789541533

  Cover design © Leah Jacobs-Gordon

  Aria

  c/o Head of Zeus

  First Floor East

  5–8 Hardwick Street

  London EC1R 4RG

  www.ariafiction.com

  Contents

  Welcome Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  About the Author

  Acknowledgements

  Become an Aria Addict

  In memory of my brother John E Manion, (1945 - 2020).

  ‘A brother shares childhood memories and grown-up dreams.’

  1

  Beckett’s Park Hospital, Leeds

  2nd September, 1918

  The crowded train came to a juddering halt, metal wheezing against metal and steam billowing up to the station’s glazed roof. Amy Leas lifted her bag down from the luggage rack above her head. The passenger nearest the door opened it, the acrid stink of overheated axle grease and smoky fumes wafting into the carriage. Amy’s nose curled at the unfamiliar smell. This was the first time she had travelled by train, the first time she had ever been to Leeds, and the first time she had ever been so far from home. The hand gripping the bag feeling unpleasantly clammy and her stomach as if it were inhabited by a swarm of butterflies, Amy stepped onto the platform.

  Bewildered, she stayed where she was, buffeted by the constant flow of people passing in both directions, several of the men wearing British Army uniforms. Eight grey-faced soldiers marched by, and Amy wondered if they were returning to battle or they had just returned from some awful hellhole in France. Whichever, her heart ached with pity for them as she watched them disappear into the swirl of bodies.

  Then, a hefty shove galvanising her feet, she pushed her way through the throng to what, she hoped, was the station’s exit.

  Out on the street, Amy studied the map that she had received with the letter, the maze of streets blurring as she struggled to find her bearings. Having no idea of the distance between Leeds station and Beckett’s Park Hospital, she threw caution to the wind and hired one of the many hackney carriages waiting at the station’s entrance. Damn the expense, she thought, giving instructions to the driver then climbing into the rear seat. The sooner she saw Jude, the quicker she would have answers to the questions that crowded her mind with every breath. Shell shock, that’s what the letter had said. She didn’t like the sound of it.

  Bolt upright in her seat, and oblivious to the view from the cab’s window, Amy saw none of the city’s fine civic buildings or its grand shops as she sat wringing her hands and interlocking her fingers so tightly that they ached. Her thoughts clattered in her brain, thoughts and half-thoughts colliding with fears and notions that buzzed inside her head as each turn of the cab’s wheels brought her closer to Jude. Taking her to what… she had no idea.

  The cab rumbled to a halt outside a formidable grey building. Amy paid the driver then, down on the pavement, she took a deep breath and throwing back her shoulders she marched up to the imposing front entrance. Once a stately home, Beckett’s Hall was now a hospital that treated soldiers suffering from nervous disorders. Inside the foyer, at a small office marked ‘Reception’ she showed her letter to the Voluntary Aid Detachment clerk. The young, pretty VAD clerk gave a sympathetic smile and asked her to take a seat; someone would come and take her to meet the doctor in charge of Jude. She pointed to a row of chairs near to a pair of double doors.

  Amy perched on the edge of a hard seat and gazed up at the high ceiling and then at the tiled floor, wondering how long it would be before someone came for her, hopeful it would be soon; time was of the essence if she was to spend it with Jude and catch the last train back to Barnborough. She listened to the buzzing of an intercom in the office and the VAD clerk’s soft voice. Perhaps she should have made arrangements to stay somewhere overnight. That way she could have visited Jude again the next day. As she muddled over the idea, four young women bustled through the double doors in a flurry of bright red capes: Queen Alexandra’s nurses. Laughing and chattering, they headed for the front door. Amy glanced down at her own navy coat that had seen better days and thought how attractive and confident the nurses looked. A spike of envy had her thinking: If I had their skills, I’d speed Jude’s recovery.

  ‘Mrs Leas?’

  Amy tore her eyes from the backs of the departing nurses and turned her head sharply. A bespectacled young man wearing a white coat smiled down at her. ‘Mrs Leas,’ he reiterated, ‘I’m Dr Mackay, if you’d like to come with me, I’ll take you to your husband.’ He pushed open the double doors.

  A long corridor loomed before them, and as they walked Dr Mackay talked, his soft Scottish burr calming Amy’s nerves. Even so, the palms of her hands were moist and her bag’s handle sticky as she swapped it from one hand to the other. By the time they arrived outside a green door, Amy had learned that Jude no longer suffered from severe bouts of diarrhoea and was beginning to eat again, and managing a few hours of unbroken sleep each night. Poor, dear Jude, thought Amy, her heart aching at what he must be going through. The doctor opened the green door.

  Much to Amy’s surprise, he led her into a small office; she had been steeling herself to find Jude lying in bed in a ward filled with injured men. Her legs feeling decidedly insubstantial, she was relieved when Dr Mackay said, ‘Take a seat, Mrs Leas; we need to talk.’

  Seated rigidly upright at one side of a large desk with Dr Mackay at the other, Amy gazed intently into his face, her hands clasped in her lap to still their trembling. He was sitting at ease, his hands folded his against his chest as he looked into her wide, blue eyes thinking how sad it was that this young, pretty woman would, most likely, live the rest of her life with a man who, at best, was b
itter and morose or, at worst, violent and abusive. A thousand questions burning her tongue, Amy was about to ask them, but the doctor stole her opportunity.

  ‘Mrs Leas,’ he said softly, ‘it might help you better understand your husband’s state of mind if you consider that he has been forced to indulge in a behaviour of a kind that is thoroughly repulsive to his natural instincts. Not only has he had to commit cruel and sadistic acts, he has witnessed horrors beyond our imagination and his senses are burdened down with the memory of these.’ He paused, allowing Amy time to consider his words.

  A gamut of expressions flitting across her face, Amy gasped. ‘Cruel and sadistic. Jude was never that. He’s kind and thoughtful; he’s the most sensitive, caring man I’ve ever known.’

  ‘And that is probably why the rigours of war have had such an effect on him. Exposure to lengthy periods of heavy bombardment and witnessing unspeakable acts of violence have changed him, made him lose his sense of reason. The problem is psychological, and the way we treat it is to get into his mind to help him eradicate that which is making him react in the way he does.’ He looked deeply into Amy’s eyes, his expression conveying sympathy and the need to be understood.

  ‘And can you do that?’ she whispered, her eyes begging a positive response.

  Dr Mackay’s answering smile was pensive. ‘Given time, and with plenty of rest and useful exercise, Jude may be able to put it all behind him.’

  ‘How long might that take?’

  ‘It’s impossible to say,’ he replied, steepling his fingertips and resting his chin on them. Amy noted how clean his nails were. Jude’s had always been rimmed with coal dust. She wondered what they were like now. Dr Mackay coughed discreetly and Amy, aware that he had noticed her attention wandering, flushed and smiled apologetically. ‘Jude is dealing with his problem by obliterating his memory – when he can,’ he continued. ‘It may be that he will not recognise you, and if that’s the case I advise you to refrain from making any overt gestures on this visit.’

  ‘Overt gestures,’ Amy echoed.

  ‘Hugs and kisses – that sort of thing. It could distress him.’

  ‘But I’m his wife. I haven’t seen him for ages. Isn’t that how I should greet him?’ She was almost begging for Dr Mackay’s approval.

  ‘As I’ve already said, he might not remember you.’ He paused, smiling hopefully as he added, ‘If he’s having a good day, maybe he will.’

  Wanly, Amy returned the smile, but she was saddened by the lack of conviction in his voice. He stood, and in a heartier tone he said, ‘Come, we’ll go and see him now.’

  Amy followed him, sure that he must hear the thudding of her heart.

  They entered a large, airy room with windows looking out onto lawns and trees, their leaves a riot of gold and russet. It was not a ward filled with beds as Amy had anticipated, but an elegant drawing room teeming with men. Bewildered, she cast anxious glances at men clustered round tables playing cards or board games and then at those sitting in chairs by the windows. Amongst them were nurses wearing grey uniforms. Every now and then the hum of voices was penetrated by unintelligible shouts and low groans.

  ‘Let’s see how the good man is today,’ said Dr Mackay, striding out, Amy walking behind him on feet that felt as though they didn’t belong to her. Several pairs of eyes followed their progress as they made their way to a high-backed wing chair facing a window, its occupant hidden from view. Dr Mackay stepped round it, saying, ‘Someone to see you, Sergeant Leas.’ He beckoned Amy to come forward.

  Amy hesitated. She felt tears building behind her eyes. Biting on her lip to stop them from flowing, she stepped in front of the chair. And there he was: her Jude – but not her Jude. Gaunt and pale, his lips clamped in a bitter line, he stared straight ahead with no sign of recognition that she was within arm’s reach. She longed to embrace him, but recalling the doctor’s advice all she could manage was a wobbly, ‘Hello, Jude, how are you?’

  Jude blinked as though wakening from a long sleep, and his lips twitched as if he was searching for a smile he couldn’t find. Then he fixed his dark eyes on hers, and as Amy gazed into their depths, she saw a soul in torment, a man stripped naked and crying out for help. ‘I’ll leave you alone with him,’ said Dr Mackay. He hurried to attend to a man who was gibbering and swaying wildly.

  Amy let her bag fall to the floor. Then, down on her knees, she took Jude’s hands in her own. He seemed to have forgotten she was there, his gaze on a point above her head. Amy kneaded his flaccid hands, hands that had once felt so strong and capable, but Jude did not respond. ‘What is it, love, tell me what’s wrong?’ she urged gently. He pulled his hands free, and still he did not look at her. Amy sat back on her heels. ‘Talk to me, love,’ she pleaded.

  Jude leaned forward, his forearms resting on his knees in that same old familiar way but whereas before he had merely clasped his hands, he now twisted them savagely. A strange gurgling from somewhere deep in his throat bubbled to the surface, mangled sounds escaping his lips, and as his wild eyes searched the distance, she thought he said ‘Kezia.’

  Her heart leapt. ‘Yes, love. Kezia. She sends her love. She’s settled in at school. Doing very well. Fancy, it doesn’t seem two minutes since she was born, and now our little girl’s learning to read and write and do all kind of things. We love you and want you to come home.’ Amy knew she was babbling but, in her desperation to gain his attention, she was afraid to stop.

  Jude’s limbs began to twitch. He placed his hands on the arms of the chair, and as he struggled to come upright a stream of foul epithets spewed from his lips. They erupted from deep in his throat, the monstrous threats so vile that Amy jumped to her feet but did not move away from him. Jude towered over her, his eyes unseeing but his face close enough for her to feel his hot breath blasting her cheeks.

  Time seemed to stand still.

  Rooted to the spot, she flicked her eyes from Jude’s ugly, contorted features to elsewhere in the room, seeking assistance. Amy almost cried with relief as Dr Mackay and a nurse hurried to her side. With gentling hands and calming words, they silenced his shouts and snarls. Eventually, his body sagged and like a burst balloon he slumped into the chair, his head lolling on his chest and his mouth hanging loose. A thick string of frothy saliva swung pendulously from his lips.

  ‘Don’t get upset. It’s to be expected,’ said the nurse, seeing Amy’s panic-stricken face. Amy goggled, but neither Dr Mackay nor the nurse seemed unduly perturbed. Amy was itching to wipe Jude’s chin, thinking how mortified he would feel to be seen in such a state. As though she had read Amy’s mind, the nurse dabbed it away.

  Dr Mackay stood, hands behind his back, quietly observing Jude. His eyes were closed, and the only sign of life was the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. The doctor nodded to the nurse and then to Amy. ‘Good day, Mrs Leas. I’ll leave you with Nurse Brennan,’ he said. He walked over to a young soldier who was rhythmically tapping his forehead against a windowpane. Amy watched him go, feeling somewhat cheated that his attention was on another man, and not on Jude. But when she looked at Jude, he was oblivious to everything, including her.

  Nurse Brennan took hold of Amy’s elbow. ‘You should leave him now; you’ll not get any response.’

  Amy shrugged her off. ‘But I’ve hardly had chance to talk to…’

  The nurse lightly tugged at her arm. ‘I know you’re upset, but you’ll not get anything out of him now. Maybe next time, eh?’

  Reluctantly, Amy picked up her bag. ‘I brought him some socks and underwear,’ she said forlornly, filching them from her bag.

  ‘I’ll see he gets them.’ The nurse tucked the parcel under her arm. Amy’s gaze lingered on Jude. He seemed to be asleep, his eyes tight shut and his mouth twisted in a bitter line. With a sinking heart Amy realised there was nothing more she could do.

  ‘Did you come far?’ asked the nurse, as they walked back along the corridor. Amy told her she had and then added, ‘I’ll come again tomorrow.’r />
  ‘We’re trying to limit visitations, what with this dreadful flu epidemic; we can’t risk infection. I’d leave it for a day or two if I were you. You’ll not see much change in him. Sometimes it’s more disturbing for them if you come too often.’

  Amy dearly wanted to protest, but knowing it would be useless she thanked Nurse Brennan and walked out of the front door on leaden feet. What the nurse had said about the flu that was ravaging the country was true; Barnborough already had its share of victims. Yet, thought Amy, she should be with Jude all the time or she’d never get through to him. He couldn’t have forgotten she was his wife.

  She felt like running back inside and making one unholy fuss, but a hackney cab was just dropping off a passenger so she spurted towards it. On the way back to station she recalled the moment Jude had said ‘Kezia’, and the way he had searched her face as she talked. She felt sure he had recognised her then, and had wanted to talk to her if only he could have found the words. For a moment her spirits rose, only to sink again when she recalled the foul and filthy words he had found.

  Well, she told herself, sitting up straight and pushing back her shoulders, next time I’ll make damned sure he knows me. Even if there are doctors and nurses all round him, I’ll hug and kiss him and show him how much I love him. I’ll do anything it takes to bring him back. She felt inside her bag for her purse to pay the cabby, her fingers brushing against the book she had put there that morning. Jude had asked for it in his last letter. How could she have forgotten to give it to him?

  Amy’s face broke into the first proper smile of the day as she pulled the copy of Kipling’s The Man Who Would Be King from her bag. She had the answer to Jude’s problems in her hand.

  *

  On the station platform, she concentrated on how best she could help Jude. Next time, she’d give him the book, talk about it and other books, sure that his face would light up when he held a book his hands. In the past she’d often joked that he loved books more than he loved her. It wasn’t right for him to be sitting staring out of a window all day. He should be reading, getting back to normality. She thought about the comfort he took, had always taken, from literature. It was a major part of his life. Reading wonderful stories would surely drive away the horrors that were filling his mind.