by JJ Ellis
Spending so much time with Jayna was going to drive him up a wall. If he didn’t take some of the pressure off, he would most definitely explode.
Every time he’d closed his eyes that day he saw her face after their first brief kiss – serene, beautiful and perfect.
And now he wouldn’t be able to get the feeling of her lips, her hands, her soft fragile body, out of his mind. It didn’t take long for the familiar sensations to wrack him, making his knees go weak. He caught himself on the shower wall. Whether this release would help or not remained to be seen. He somehow doubted it would.
A knock sounded on the door just as he was about to turn the water off. Jayna burst into the room with a screeching CJ in her arms. Panic was front and center on her face.
“Logan! Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, turning away from the sight of his toned, glorious body.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned. “Hand me that towel will you?”
Jayna grabbed it and tossed it to him. He secured it around his waist and took CJ from her.
“What’s wrong little man?” he bounced him gently up and down trying to calm him. “How long has he been like this?”
“Since you left the loft pretty much. I think he’s in pain.”
“Yeah sounds like it,” he murmured as he ran his hand over the baby’s body. “Do you have a tummy ache, CJ? His tummy is really hard.”
“He hasn’t had a dirty diaper all day,” she acknowledged. “Let’s get him into a hot bath. That always worked with Deb’s kids.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back. I saw a baby tub in the closet in the loft.” He handed CJ over to Jayna and hurried up the stairs. When he came back, he was in possession of a brand new, unopened baby bathtub.
“Your brother doesn’t have kids, does he?” she asked as she took the small device and filled it with warm water.
Logan laughed. “Not that anyone knows of at least.” He moved the baby bath from the tub to the counter then took CJ again.
The baby screamed the whole time his diaper was being removed, but when Logan lowered him into the water he became quiet. “You like that? It must make your tummy feel better.”
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had experience with babies,” Jayna said as she watched him interact expertly with her tiny son.
He turned to her and smiled. “I’ve never really dealt with babies. But I figure as long as they are small enough to fit in my arms and not talk back, I can overpower them.”
Jayna laughed. “Wait until he starts walking and talking. You’ll be out numbered…” her words died. They both knew Logan would never know CJ at that point in his development.
“He’s starting to grunt a little. Should we let him go in here or put him in a diaper?”
“I vote for diaper,” Jayna said handing him a towel. "I don’t want to have to clean him and the tub.”
Logan wrapped the little one in the towel and carried him to the couch. Jayna followed with a small stack of diapers.
“I’ll change him. Why don’t you go take your shower now?”
“Mommy will be right back,” she cooed to CJ as she kissed him on the cheek. “Don’t give Uncle Logan a hard time.”
Their eyes met and Logan nodded an okay to the nickname. Jayna smiled and hurried upstairs to get the stuff she needed for her shower. Twenty minutes later, when she finally came out of the steam filled bathroom, she was in her most comfy pajamas and one of the tanks Logan had purchased for her. He was lying on the couch still wrapped in the towel, with CJ cuddled on his chest. They seemed to be having a conversation.
“It’s going to be strange not having you in my room tonight. I might actually get some sleep.”
CJ started to squirm and cry.
"Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Do you want me to sleep in there with you and Mommy?”
CJ immediately calmed down.
Logan sighed and closed his eyes. “I’ll do it for you, but I won’t enjoy it. Your mama is too pretty for her own good, and mine.”
“Hey guys, what are you two up to?’ she asked, walking into the room.
“We’re just having some guy talk. Isn’t that right, little man?”
“Sounds fun,” she said with a smile. “How is our little problem?”
“Apparently cured. He’s got a second fresh diaper on and is acting hungry."
“Let me have him. I’ll feed him while you get dressed.” She sat in the easy chair and Logan handed him over.
“I’ll be back and we can watch a movie if you want. I’m sure Dylan has something other than porn.”
“I wouldn’t count on it,” Jayna said. “How about we take it up stairs.”
“Good idea. I’ll see you there when little man has his fill.”
**********
Jayna walked around locking doors and turning lights off as she burped the baby. Logan was standing near the bed when she finally made it up stairs. His well-worn pajama bottoms hung low on his hips and he wasn’t wearing a shirt.
“Did you find a movie?”
“We have a choice of three classic kids' movies,” he said, pointing to the TV stand. “Go ahead and chose one if you want. I’ll dress CJ for you.”
“So, your brother watches porn and kids' movies?” she asked with a chuckle.
“I…don’t even know. He probably has other movies stashed downstairs for guests, but I don’t feel like searching for them.”
“That’s okay. There's one here that I love and haven’t seen in years. We’ll watch it.” She put the disk in the player and crawled into bed.
Logan sat down on the opposite side, with CJ in his arms. He absently caressed the baby’s soft little head. Jayna looked on and smiled. He may not want her, but he sure was getting attached to her son. She couldn’t help but wonder how hard it would be for all of them when this mess was over and she left.
CJ started to fuss and Logan began singing a lullaby in his deep baritone. Jayna watched in awe as her fussy little baby calmed down and fell fast asleep against Logan’s chest.
Soon, he put CJ in the crib then sat back to enjoy the movie. He was shoulder to shoulder with Jayna. His whole arm burned with the need to wrap around her shoulders. But if he did that she might read too much into it. He wasn’t prepared to take that risk.
Jayna started to laugh at the movie and Logan joined in. He knew why Dylan had this one. It had been a Harper family favorite.
“Hey, shh,” Logan murmured as he turned the volume down with the remote. “What’s that sound?”
“I didn’t hear anything,” Jayna said quietly. “Wait, there it is. What the hell is that?”
Logan got out of bed and pulled the nightstand drawer open. He retrieved the 9mm and handed it to Jayna. "Stay here," he ordered. "I’ll be right back." Slipping his shoes on, he grabbed a hoodie and headed down the stairs.
Jayna heard him loading a shotgun and then the door slammed. How could they have been found already? It just wasn’t possible was it?
The baby stirred in the crib and she said a silent prayer that he would stay asleep. Ten long, excruciating minutes later, she heard the door open downstairs.
“It’s me,” Logan called up to her. “It’s all clear.”
Jayna breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed against the headboard. When Logan appeared in the doorway, she was shaking and the gun was on the bed beside her. “You might want to put that away. I’m shaking so bad that if I touch it I’d probably shoot my foot off.”
Logan grabbed the pistol and quickly stored it back in the nightstand. He sat down next to Jayna and gathered her in his arms. "It’s okay, you’re safe.”
“What the hell was it?” she asked in a whisper.
“Probably just an animal.”
“Probably?”
“By the time I got out there, whatever it was, was gone. One of the fence posts was knocked over but nothing else was out of place. An old moose probably thought the post was his girlfriend."
The thought amused J
ayna and she relaxed a bit. “I hate being so paranoid.”
“I know. Maybe you should try to sleep.”
“Okay,” she said, pulling out of his arms. "Are you still going to sleep downstairs?”
“No. I’d feel better up here with you and CJ. That’s okay with you, right?”
“Yeah, I think I’d feel better too.”
***********
Jayna woke up to a quiet house. It was still dark outside so she rolled to her other side to go back to sleep. Logan was gone. Her first thought was that something was wrong. When had she become such a worry wart? But she knew that it was ever since Reginald had decided that she was his property and didn’t want to share her with their child.
Getting out of bed, she grabbed the baby monitor and headed downstairs. When she stepped into the living room, he was pacing and mumbling. “Logan are you okay?”
He stopped moving and put his hands, palm down, on the counter. “Other than going out of my damn mind, I’m good,” he murmured.
Jayna walked over to him and put her hand on his bare shoulder. “Please tell me what’s wrong?”
Logan flinched and sucked a breath in through his own teeth. "Please don’t touch me,” he whispered. “You have no idea what being so close to you does to me.”
“I’m so sorry,” she murmured, letting her hand drop and stepping away.
“It’s okay,” he choked out. Although he wasn’t sure how it could be. Surviving the next couple of weeks would be one of the hardest things he had to do.
Jayna closed her eyes and moved up to him again. “There’s something I want to do for you.” It came out as a hoarse whisper.
“Please Jayna…”
“Logan,” she said softly, resting her hand on his strong back. “I haven’t felt this alive in years. Please indulge me.”
“I…”
Jayna wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her body against his. “Please come to the living room with me,” she whispered.
His hands fell from the counter top allowing her to grab one and pull him to the other room. “This is wrong, Sleeping Beauty. I don’t want to be your boyfriend. I’m sorry, I just can’t.”
“I know, Logan. That’s not what I want from you right now.”
“Then why?”
“Look what I do to you,” she said, reaching out to run her hand up the hard length beneath his pajama pants. “The least I can do is take care of you.”
Logan gasped at her touch and pulled back slightly. “There’s more to it than that,” he suggested, his voice deep and gruff. “What’s going on?”
“Reginald,” she groaned. “He never let me do anything for him. He always had to be in control. I have this need to do everything he ever denied me.”
“But I’m not allowed to do anything for you and God knows I want to.”
“I know you do,” she murmured, stepping forward. “Kiss me Logan, please.”
That one simple request, he couldn’t find it in himself to deny her. Their lips met, tentatively at first, until Logan grabbed her waist and pulled her as close as he could. Jayna took advantage of the closeness and started walking him back to the couch. She pulled away and pushed him down, “Don’t move.”
Logan was too stunned to do anything so he sat and watched Jayna as she set the baby monitor on the nearby end table then walked back to kneel in front of him.
“This is so wrong,” Logan warned with a quiet, serious voice.
“Give me a minute and it will feel so right,” she murmured before freeing him. “God you’re perfect.”
“Jayna…”
"Please Logan,” she asked softly as she stroked his length.
He didn’t answer, his head just fell back against the couch and he sighed. Jayna continued stroking as he pulsed beneath her hand and grew harder.
She started at the base and ran her tongue upward, making Logan gasp and tighten his hips. When her lips wrapped around the tip, he called out her name.
Holding him steady at the base, she moved up and down over him, alternating teasing with her tongue, her teeth and her fingertips. She could tell by his murmurs and his movements that he was getting close so she pulled back, increasing her grip on the base. His eyes flew open and their eyes met. “Keep your eyes open and watch what I’m doing to you,” she demanded.
“It makes it too personal,” he argued around quick shallow breaths.
“Suit yourself,” she smiled taking him in again and moving up and down at a rapid fire pace with both her mouth and hand.
“Oh…Jayna…Now!” he yelled through gritted teeth as he emptied into her. His body went lax on the couch and Jayna raised her eyes to him. He was looking at her.
“I thought you said it was too personal,” she chided as she crawled up next to him on the sofa.
“I couldn’t help myself,” he admitted, pulling her into his arms. “You’re too damn beautiful not to watch.”
“Thank you,” she murmured, snuggling into his chest.
“I wish there was something I could do for you now,” he said, stroking her hair.
“I don’t need anything. I don’t think I could emotionally handle anything right now. But I feel close to you and I enjoyed pleasing you.”
Logan shifted in his seat so he could look her in the eyes. “Did he…did Reginald force you to…”
Jayna stopped him with a finger placed gently on his lips. “Coerced, bribed, and threatened…yeah he did. Did he ever hold me down and physically make me? No.”
“He forced you,” Logan said through gritted teeth. "It’s all rape.”
“I know,” she murmured. “He never touched me after I got pregnant though. Not only did he find me repulsive, but I convinced the doctor to order no sex.”
“Smart girl,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“Thank you. For the most part I’m okay, you know. I just need to get my bearings. It’s been a crazy year.”
“I understand,” he said, kissing her temple. “Someday it will be all over and you’ll have your whole life to look forward too."
“I can’t wait,” she said with a yawn.
“Come on, let’s head upstairs. I have a feeling CJ will be screaming for your breasts soon. I know I would be if I were him,” Logan quickly dodged a thrown couch pillow. He was relieved to see Jayna smiling again.
Chapter 7
The next couple of days were calm and relaxing for Logan, Jayna and CJ. They quickly settled into a routine of leisurely, laughter-filled meals, short hikes that helped Jayna start to regain her strength, and plenty of time spent getting to know each other.
As Logan went about his daily tasks, the word 'family' popped into his head several times and he had to forcibly push it away. Jayna and CJ would never be his family. He didn’t want them to be his family. There was no room for that nonsense in his life. It didn’t really matter how much he loved her kisses, the stroke of her hand over his excited, heated flesh, or the look in her eyes when he made her smile. But most of all he loved the time they spent taking care of CJ together. At just over a week old, the little boy was more and more aware every day and watching him change was amazing, like nothing he had ever witnessed before.
On their fourth night in the cabin, they settled in to watch a movie. Dylan’s stash of family-friendly movies had been uncovered in a living room cabinet. And as had become habit over the last few days, Logan sat with his back against the headboard with Jayna sitting between his legs, her back resting on his chest. CJ slept peacefully in the mini-crib.
When the movie froze right at the beginning, neither of them wanted to fiddle with the disk or the DVD player so they turned it off and sat together enjoying the sounds of the night coming in from outside.
“Logan, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure, I guess,” he said hesitantly. He had a feeling she was going to ask about something he wasn’t all that willing to talk about.
“Why don’t you be
lieve in marriage and family?”
Logan felt like groaning out loud, but he just sighed instead. “I’ve learned that love brings devastation to people.”
“Who hurt you that badly?” she murmured. “She must have been someone you loved a lot.”
Logan was quiet for a while, debating how much to tell her. Part of him wanted to confess everything but part of him wanted to push her away and run. “It wasn’t a woman,” he finally admitted. And then the whole story came out – about his brother Ben’s love story, his brother Russell’s disastrous marriage and Dylan’s unrequited love for his childhood friend Nicoletta and subsequent playboy ways.
Jayna was shocked and stunned. How did a person get over something like that? How could she prove to him what was wrong with his way of thinking? She had no delusions that he would ever be hers, but someday she hoped he could have his own family. He would be a wonderful husband and father, and it wouldn’t be fair if he missed out on that. “I’m sorry about your brother,” she finally said. “I can’t even imagine what he must have gone through.”
“Me either,” he whispered, kissing her temple. Keeping his lips off of her was near impossible no matter how much he knew he should. “Hey, I’m hungry, do you want a snack?” he asked, moving from behind her.
“Yeah,” she answered. “And a soda please.”
“Sure, I’ll be right back.”
Jayna heard the microwave open and close and the sound of popcorn starting to pop. The bed vibrated beneath her right hip and she shifted to the left to see what was causing it. The prepaid phone was lying there, it must have fallen out Loan’s pocket. She recognized the grocery store’s number.
**********
A tall, well-built man, wearing a black suit walked into Harper’s Rock grocery and studied everything that was going on around him. He didn’t see any of the managers milling around at the moment so he walked calmly up to the teenaged cashier at register one. “Miss, my car broke down out there and my cell phone is dead. May I use the phone to call a tow truck?”
“Sure!” she gushed with a big smile. “I’m just closing down. Help yourself." She pointed to the phone next to the register and walked away. The man picked up the receiver and dialed the number he had written on a piece of scrap paper.