Mister Distraction (Distraction #2)
Page 30
“Let them in, give them masks and stall them.” I texted Alex immediately, he was with me in Los Angeles to keep me out of trouble. I asked him to get here quickly because Katarina was here. I ran a hand through my hair, curious about what the hell Katarina was doing here. And although it wasn’t impossible to run into her because the place was packed and I knew she was staying in Los Angeles, the way into the club was full of mazes and strict security. It was a secret club and purposely meant to keep out nonmembers.
I made my way to the front area of the club, “voyeur station,” and I saw her. Katarina was dressed in a snug red dress, her black hair shining even in the low club light. I forgot how petite she was. Every feature had been burned into my brain and I yelled at myself for forgetting how delicate and defensive she was. How was she going to survive in this cruel, sick world when she looked so fragile? I was furious with her and I reminded myself she tricked me and left, taking my heart.
I studied her from a room away, close enough to see her every moment, but so that she wouldn’t see me, not with her two dimensional vision. I also didn’t appear the same as when she left me. I resembled a grizzly bear, angry on the inside and hairy on the outside. Lately, my speech contained a lot of growls and grunts. Katarina also appeared to have lost her glow. She was sitting on someone else’s lap. I fought the urge to escort her out and punch the shit out of him for bringing her here. She was watching the scene in front of her, the orgy of people having consensual sex. Her eyes were fixated, hypnotized, at the erotic soft play. She licked her lips. She was horny, her eyes squeezed shut and a seductive curl hit the corner of her lips. Fuck me I had missed those lips, the lips that brought me so much joy and pleasure. Her eyes popped open and she turned to the man she was sitting on and kissed him. She frickin kissed him as his hand started moving all over her body and I felt ill.
“Hey man I got this if you want to spy on someone else.” Alex’s voice blasted over the music.
“Yea okay,” I tore my eyes away from Katarina’s hot body and gritted my teeth. The idea of her kissing anyone else was beyond torture. I opened my eyes after long, drooling moments of mental fucking torture just imagining what the fuck he was doing to her now. Yes, doing to her, because Katarina was still innocent in my eyes. I couldn’t avoid it any longer. My eyes snapped open. My impulse was too strong and I couldn’t deny it. In the dark corner of the crowded room, I watched her tiny figure stand up and the moron she was with followed her. I studied her face carefully and noticed the moment her face transformed into disgust and self-loathing. It brought joy to all my parts, knowing that no one could replace me. She took the back of her hand and swiped her mouth, trying to get his trace off of her. My smile widened almost painfully, the look of misery on her face making me instantly happy. Alex hung back and I moved to the other side of the club. My eyes never veered from her for longer than a few seconds. She was wearing a tiny red dress, and she carried her shoes in her hand as she tiptoed on the hard wood floor. She was still the sexiest creature I had ever laid my eyes on. To say that I was one horny ass motherfucker for that girl was an understatement. Her delicate movements, the way her hips rocked from side to side, even the shift of her chin as she entered the new room showed her confidence. I knew from experience she was maintaining a performance in this new uncomfortable setting involving crowds and chaos. The only thing restraining me from running to her and burying my stiff cock deep inside her was the frickin letter. The letter telling me she had no feelings for me, the letter that told me to go fuck myself. So I watched and studied and predicted her next move. She sat in front of a scene and her male companion tried to get her to sit on his lap, but Katarina refused him. Was she playing hard to get? I noticed the expression on her face was forced, practiced. Katarina didn’t like him. My grin turned smug and my pants grew tight. There are many scenes that Katarina could see from where she sat, but I could only see one from my position. The other scenes were only partial visions. I took a look at the male in the room who was just getting started, wondering how scared she would be by the performer. It was Doc. Doc was raw and it could go either way. I knew Doc when he lived in Sacramento about six years ago before he moved to Los Angeles. He was a dominant I aspired to be like, extremely controlled. I had watched him with his wife and he was dialed into her moans and gave her pleasure after pleasure. His movement swift and precise, he was very meticulous and never missed his mark. He was so into it, the audience never affected him either way. The problem was when he got pissed. If he was with someone other than his wife and she said the wrong thing or reacted the wrong way, he went a little ballistic. Fuck little, it was more like fucking crazy. The pain for the sub got extreme and no one could help her. The only thing she could do was use her safe word. But only if she remembered to. Sometimes a sub was so confused by sudden mood shifts that the sub forgot even her own name. At this point, I hoped the pretty blonde sub he was with played her part to a t, because I wanted to watch Katarina for just a while longer. He pulled out a riding crop with feathers running along the sides. He flicked his wrist and a loud snap rang out and I could feel his rush, the rush of pleasure extending all the way to my feet where I gripped the hardwood floor with my toes. Katarina disappeared from my sight as more people crowded around the scene and I closed my eyes trying to fucking calm myself, reminding myself she was no longer mine, repeating it in my head trying to convince myself. Not. Fucking. Mine.
I turned and watched others enjoying the freedom of the sex club. A man we call Old Man Jefferson was spanking his wife, an Asian woman almost half his age. The older generation didn’t use first names. They had nicknames that helped with the continued privacy. The couple directly in front of me were both sweating and I could feel the sexual intoxication that ran between them. It was thicker than tension and beyond lust. It was a drug that only certain people could let themselves feel, let themselves succumb to. Once you felt it, there was nothing that could replace it.
I caught quick movements out of the corner of my eye, my head snapping in the direction, but all movement stopped. I backed down the private hall hoping to make it to the security room to get a better look at what caught my eye. I saw a dark image move in front of me and the smell of this creature wrapped around me causing my brain to shut off momentarily. She smelled like heaven and comfort. My legs broke into a run trying to catch up with her. The closer I got the further she seemed. The only thing I had going for me was knowing this hall. I knew where it led. I knew every room that still remained in front of me. I got close enough to feel her hair tickling my face. My stride was in perfect sync with hers and then my arm snaked out around her as we approached our final turn in the dark hall and I wrapped it tightly around her stomach. She was sealed to me with no chance of escape. I pushed open the next door and moved to the corner. It was a storage closest; racks of large white towels and paper supplies lined the shelves. I dragged her to the corner and held her body close to mine, so close all the memories of Katarina came flooding back to me, memories I had attempted to hide. Her body shivered in fear, her panic rolling off of her in huge waves. She fought me in a vicious attempt to break free. I liked it…a lot.
“Shh, don’t be scared.” My arms tightened when I hit the wall behind me and I heard a loud commotion coming from outside. Someone was getting a beat down. If I was guessing correctly, it was multiple people. From the grunts and the loud cursing, it was three people. I should have been out there helping the man who was on the receiving end of the two assholes. They were assholes because in no circumstance was it okay for a two-on-one beat down. I lightened my hold on Katarina, deciding I could hide her and come back. I leaned in and ran my mouth over her shoulder until I met the spot I missed: the L spot where her neck and her shoulder met. I gave it a little taste.
“I…I,” she stuttered, “don’t like dark places, please don’t hurt me.” I hated how that statement made me want to beat the shit out of someone.
“I would never hurt you Katarina.” Her legs
gave out and I quickly caught her, forgetting about the brutal screaming coming from the other side of the door. Her crying making me forget about everything. I fell to the floor, listening to the sounds of heartbreaking sobs. I kept begging her not to cry. Even my pleas were drowned out over her sobbing and hiccups. I fucking hated to hear her cry. She was my kryptonite. I was powerless to her at this point and I would do anything, say anything, to make her happy again and to see her smile and hear her laugh. Instead, I held her for a long while until the crying stopped and her breathing evened out. Not a second went by that I didn’t think about how much I needed this. I needed to comfort her, needed to be the one to fix her pain. I craved to be her hero more than the revenge villain she saw me as.
It didn’t make things better between us. I was still going to walk away. No sex, no kissing, no fucking love yous, none of it was going to make what I had to do easier. Katarina made me feel too many things. She made me believe in forever again…fuck that. I didn’t have a heart anymore. She took it, the whole thing, when she left. I was a different man now, changing again to accommodate that pain, just like when Jacy died. I was evolving into a man with no heart, no conscience, and no soul. Her voice broke my demon thoughts.
“I hate that you made me feel things, things I never should have allowed myself to feel. My heart hurts so bad and if I wasn’t broken before I met you…” That’s was ditto for me, princess. The fucking hurting went both ways. “…I am now and I hate you for that. I kissed someone tonight and I hate how guilty I feel. I hate that I forget what your lips taste like, how they feel against mine.” She was silent and all I could think of was that she would never feel my lips against hers again. “I heard him say the words he would say to me and I hate him too. I hate him so much Jason I hope I never see him again. I wish pain on him.” I closed my eyes listening to her words, wondering who she saw and what the hell he said. I wanted him to still be here so I could beat the shit out of him. I wasn’t sure who I would be beating him up for, Katarina or myself. I asked her not to cry and I fucking wished she would shut the hell up too, no more talking. She obeyed, and nothing was spoken for long moments and I had to wonder what the hell she was doing here. If she told me she was here to find me could I forgive her? Would I? I asked her but her answer didn’t make any sense to me. If she didn’t like her father, why in the hell would she follow him to such a dark place?