Unstoppable Liv Beaufont Boxed Set

by Sarah Noffke

  The young magician chuckled, taking the lead. “It’s like me when I want to be found. I gave you a clue, didn’t I?”

  “Oh, was that what all the giggling was about?” Liv teased.

  “Yes, otherwise I would have been hiding forever,” Sophia said, pointing up ahead to where a statue of a troll was indicating an open row.

  “Was that there before?”

  Sophia gave her a wink. “Probably not. The library changes based on what you want. If you want to leave, it points you in the right direction. If you want to hide, it gives you a place. And if you want to find out about smilgorms, it shoves you down that aisle.”

  “What are smilgorm?” Liv asked.

  Sophia shook her head. “I don’t know, and don’t wonder about it, or we’ll never make it out of here. Just focus on wanting the exit.”

  Liv did as she was told by her authoritative younger sister. One day she’d make an excellent Warrior, and until then, Liv would serve in her place, preserving the role for the Beaufont family.

  Chapter Nine

  The portal spat Liv out into an area of London that most mortals had never seen. Even if they saw it, they might not know what they were looking at. It actually took Liv several seconds to decipher the scene before her.

  The cobblestone road was dark, although it was a strangely sunny day in London. The proximity of the buildings to the road made it so hardly any sunlight streaked down onto the pavement.

  “Move to the side, sweetheart. Coming through,” a man’s voice said behind Liv. She jumped out of the way and turned to find a tall fae standing with his arms crossed. His maroon wings beat slightly as he regarded her with a mischievous smile. “Oh, it must be your first time on Roya Lane. You can’t stand in the entrance, or no one can get through the portal. Newbie mistake.”

  “Roya Lane?” Liv asked, distracted by the sheer beauty of the man who stood before her. He had long ears like an elf, pointing out of his smooth blond hair, and he wore an elegant maroon tunic that matched his wings. An assortment of medals hung around his neck.

  “Well, or as I like to call it, Government Center,” he said, holding out a perfectly manicured hand to her. “My name is Rudolf. Who might you be, magician?”

  Liv caught herself before blushing. She remembered then that the fae were deceptively beautiful. They’d made many a mortal fall in love with them over the centuries, leaving them lost and confused, pining for a lover who had long ago moved on.

  She swallowed the tension in her throat and kept her face neutral, shaking Rudolf’s hand. “I’m Liv Beaufont, a Warrior for the House of Seven.”

  Rudolf arched an eyebrow at her, his blue eyes smiling. “Do you have any identification? That’s a big role for such a small girl to play.”

  Liv shook her head. “They don’t issue us security badges at the House. Sorry.”

  Rudolf sighed, looking crestfallen. “Well, it appears I can’t believe you then. My oath to the truth prevents me from taking others at their word. I always need proof.”

  “Umm, I’m not here to prove anything to you. I’m actually looking for the brownies’ official office.”

  Raising his pointy chin high in the air, Rudolf turned his gaze to the blue sky. “I can’t offer you any information since I don’t know who you truly are.”

  Liv almost allowed a growl to escape her mouth. Who did this guy think he was, questioning her? “Yeah, that’s not a problem. I’ll just ask any of the other dozen creatures on Roya Lane.” She turned her attention to the road, which was bustling with elves, gnomes, fairies of all sorts, and smaller creatures she could hardly make out that were streaking between the beings. The lane was closed off at the end; at Liv’s back was a solid brick wall. The only way in was via portal-type magic, and apparently they were standing at that entrance since a group of elves nearly bowled them over as they entered the lane.

  Rudolf grabbed Liv by the arm and pulled her to the side, out of the way. “You’ll want to be careful to stay out of the portal area. And don’t talk to McClusky. He’ll steal your identity. And whatever you do, don’t eat anything if it looks like it has peanuts. Firstly, it’s probably not nuts, and secondly, it will make you break out in hives.”

  “Why are you helping me?” Liv asked, pulling her arm out of his grasp and nearly tripping on a small furry creature that scurried under their feet as it tried to get through the crowd. “I thought you refused to offer me any information since I couldn’t prove my identity?”

  “This is true, but I’m happy to offer a newbie to Roya Lane a small bit of knowledge so that you can navigate your way through the maze of this short road.” Rudolf opened his arms wide, looking out over the street and smiling broadly.

  “Great, so where is the brownies’ headquarters?” Liv asked.

  He shook his head. “I can’t tell you that. What if you mean to kick down their door and assault them with your fists?”

  Liv gave him an impatient stare. “That’s not on my agenda, and all you’d be offering me is some directions. Not the code to a secret vault.”

  Rudolf laughed. “You are so new to this place. Without directions to the brownies’ office, you won’t find it. I can assure you of that. Like brownies tend to be, it is hidden.”

  Liv looked down the row of doors, each one marked clearly: Gnome Headquarters, Elf Central, Fairy Affairs.

  There were many other signs, but none of them said anything about Brownies.

  “Look, Rudolf, what sort of proof of identity do you take? I have a driver’s license and a lynx who can vouch for me.”

  Rudolf laughed. “Don’t be absurd. A lynx wouldn’t be allowed to enter this place. We have wards that prevent those pests from coming into Roya Lane.”

  “So you think,” Liv muttered.

  “Come again?”

  Liv shook her head, dismissing him.

  “And besides, I could no more accept the word of a lynx than that of a deranged jackrabbit. They each have their own agenda, and rarely is it to tell the truth.”

  “Right,” Liv said, drawing out the word.

  Rudolf looked Liv over, his eyes lingering a bit too long on her lower half. “Are you sure you don’t have something on you that can tie you to the House of Seven? Maybe a shield with the Beaufont family crest?”

  Liv opened her black cape. “Do you see a shield on me anywhere?”

  Rudolf combed his hand over his chin. “I don’t know. Maybe you should turn around.”

  Liv sighed; this conversation was going to kill all of her brain cells. Then a thought occurred to her and she pulled her mother’s ring from her pocket, the one Ian had given to her. “I have this. Will that work?”

  Rudolf’s bright blue eyes widened when he saw the ornate ring with the center diamond and fourteen colorful gems around it. He reached out for it, but Liv pulled it back, giving him an untrusting look.

  He dropped his hand and closed his gaping mouth. “Where are my manners? I apologize, Ms. Liv Beaufont. It’s just that it has been so long since I’ve seen that ring. It took me back suddenly.”

  It was Liv’s turn to gawk at him. “You’ve seen this ring before? On my mother, Guinevere Beaufont?”

  Rudolf shook his head. “No, before her, but I honestly can’t recall the memory. The harder I try, the more I seem to doubt it’s my memory at all. Maybe it was your grandmother who wore it, or your great grandmother, or the one before her.” He shrugged, his face suddenly turning cheery. “Anyway, that’s all the proof I need. I know that to be the Beaufonts’ ring.”

  “You’re very old, then?” Liv asked.

  “Oh, the fae are the oldest of all magical creatures,” Rudolf stated nobly. “We are older than the elves by at least a century.” He cupped his mouth and leaned in Liv’s direction. “Don’t try telling them that though. They’ll get their tights in a wad.”

  “Well, maybe now you’ll direct me to the brownies’ headquarters,” Liv said.

  “I’ll do you one better and escort you t
here myself, Liv Beaufont.” He offered her his arm.

  Liv considered taking it but decided it was better not to get too close to the fae. “Directions will do just fine.”

  Rudolf laughed, a soft melodic sound that made Liv’s heart palpitate with sudden excitement. “You don’t have to worry about me working my charms on you. It is I who should worry about falling for you, mademoiselle. A Warrior and a Beaufont. I dare say we would make beautiful children together and shake up the magical world at the same time. Oh, I do love a good scandal. Are you game?”

  Liv lowered her chin and regarded him with a contemptuous glare. “Are you serious? Was that your attempt to ask me out?”

  “That was my attempt to offer you the fruit of my loins and many years of intermittent bliss,” Rudolf clarified, bowing to her.

  “Yeah, I’m going to pass, but I still need to know where the brownies’ headquarters is located.”

  “Very well, madam,” Rudolf said, rising. “I see that you are a focused individual, and not to be distracted.”

  “The headquarters,” Liv nearly barked.

  “Follow me.” Rudolf strode off through the crowd, cutting around a group of purplish creatures fighting over a potion bottle. “Do stay close. If I lose you, it might take one of your lifetimes to find me again, and by then I’ll not want to gaze upon you because of your wrinkles.”

  “Wow, and you’re single?” Liv asked in mock surprise. “I’m shocked.”

  “And here we are.” Rudolf halted, gesturing at a plain brick wall.

  “Is this one of those entrances that I can’t see but you and the giants can?” she asked.

  “No, I can’t see the door either,” Rudolf explained. “But I know it to be here.”

  “Your reasoning is flawed.”

  Rudolf laughed good-naturedly. “It’s here, I assure you. Halfway between the Pegasus Corrections Facility and the Unclassified Magical Creatures Office.”

  “The what? No, that’s not a thing.”

  “It is, though. There are still at least three dozen unclassified magical creatures. Well, that we know of.”

  “No, I meant…never mind,” Liv said, waving him off as she studied Roya Lane. It was hard to believe there were so many different offices pertaining to magical creatures on this short, cramped street, and yet that was exactly how magic worked. It made the impossible possible.

  “So this entrance? How am I supposed to get through it?” Liv asked, staring at the plain brick wall again.

  “You simply declare who you are and state your business,” Rudolf explained. “If you’re granted access, the door will appear.”

  “Where can I get a door like this one?” Liv joked.

  Rudolf apparently didn’t think that was funny because he simply blinked at her dully.

  “Oh, fine,” she said, standing close to the wall. She felt like an idiot. “Liv Beaufont, Warrior of the House of Seven, is here to discuss cleaning regulations with the head brownie or brownie president or whatever your leader is called.”

  “Mortimer,” Rudolf said.

  “Huh?” Liv looked at him sideways.

  “Mortimer is the Prime Minister of the brownies.”

  “Right,” Liv said, turning back to the wall. “Liv Beaufont, Warrior of the House of Seven, here to see Mortimer.”

  “State your business,” Rudolf cut in.

  “So I can impose regulations set down by the Council of the House of Seven.”

  Nothing happened.

  Liv’s brow scrunched.

  “It doesn’t appear that Mortimer is willing to discuss such business today,” Rudolf said, looking around. “Shall we go split a bottle of cherry wine and undress each other with our eyes?”

  Liv ignored the fae and looked at the wall again. “Liv Beaufont, Warrior of the House of Seven, here to see Mortimer so that we can discuss the agreement between the brownies and the magicians.”

  Still no door appeared.

  Liv looked at Rudolf and scowled. “If I find out that you have been joking with me by making me talk to a dumb wall, I’ll mess up your hair and spread rumors that you’re an awful kisser.”

  Rudolf gawked at her with disgust. “I have met some wicked Warriors in my time, but you, Liv Beaufont, are a new breed of evil.”

  She winked at him. “You have no idea.” Turning back to the wall, she tried one more time. “Hey there, Mortimer. It’s Liv Beaufont again. I was thinking that we could pretend to discuss boring House politics, but really I want to set up a mutual partnership. You know, an ‘I scratch your back and you scratch mine’ sort of thing?”

  “Eww, you do realize that brownies are awfully hairy and probably never wash their backsides properly? Now my back, you’re welcome to scratch and rub for hours,” Rudolf offered.

  “It’s an expression,” Liv told him. “And I’d rather take a bath with a gnome than touch your unclothed body.”

  “Methinks that implies you’d like to touch my clothed body.” Rudolf gave her a wolfish grin. “I get that you must take things slowly, but I beseech you to not waste too much time since you have only a few hundred years left compared to me.”

  Liv rolled her eyes, turning back to the brick wall. She was about to give up when an arched door only three feet tall appeared.

  “Well, it looks like they’ve accepted the invitation you’ve thrust upon them,” Rudolf said.

  Chapter Ten

  “How am I supposed to fit through that door?” Liv asked, pointing.

  “Your hips are a bit meaty, but I think we can wedge you through the doorway,” Rudolf said, holding out his hands. “I’ll push from the rear end.”

  Liv held up a finger. “If you so much as look at my ass, I’ll break that little button nose of yours.”

  Rudolf cupped his hands over his nose. “So many threats. What makes you so hostile, my lady?”

  “Jerks with big wings and small—”

  “Do not finish that sentence,” he said, cutting her off as he clapped his hands to his ears.

  Liv shook him off and turned her attention to the small door. She could fit through it, but she wasn’t going to look graceful doing it. Turning the handle, she pushed it open and peered through. A long, nondescript hallway led to a door at the end. The paint on the walls was peeling, and the area smelled like an old lunchbox.

  “I’m going in,” Liv said, pulling her head back out of the door.

  “Let me know if you want a push,” Rudolf said, holding out his hands.

  “Let me know if you want a black eye,” she sang back.

  He laughed as she put her head through the door and worked to crawl through. “You are quite delightful with your jokes, Liv Beaufont. We should have a drink sometime.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Liv called back dismissively.

  “Until we meet again.”

  “Hopefully later rather than sooner,” she said, edging forward on her elbows and knees. There was a tacky substance on the floor inside the headquarters and she stuck to the dirty tile. Once she was through the door, it closed automatically, leaving her alone to look down the short hallway.

  The sconces on the walls flickered like the bulbs were going bad and a loud banging sound radiated from the far end of the corridor.

  Liv tried to stand but had to stay hunched so as not to hit her head on the ceiling, which was covered in spider webs. Brownies might take it upon themselves to clean the houses of mortals they admired, but ironically, they didn’t appear to keep their own place very tidy.

  When she’d come to the door on the far end, Liv knocked. The banging stopped.

  “Come in,” a squeaky voice called.

  Liv opened the door and peered through to find a small, cramped office piled high with books and papers. They covered the desk on the opposite side of the room and were stacked from floor to ceiling all around it. Behind the desk sat a portly brownie who wore a disheveled suit and was holding a green foam ball. His skin was dark and withered, and gray hair sprouted from his l
arge ears and nose.

  “Hi. Liv Be—”

  “I know who you are,” the fairy said, waving her in. “That was why I opened the door. Now get in here so I can resume my game.”

  Game? Liv wondered, looking around. She didn’t know what Mortimer meant, but no sooner had she closed the door than he threw the ball in his hand at the wall beside her, nearly hitting her in the head. It bounced back, landing firmly in his squat hand.

  “Four-hundred and sixty-two,” he squeaked and threw the ball again. “Four-hundred and sixty-three.”

  Liv stared for a moment as the ball streaked from his hand to the wall and back, watching it like a cat does a trailing string.

  “Well, go on then, Liv Beaufont, Warrior of the House of Seven, and take a seat,” Mortimer said, catching the ball and throwing it again.

  Liv looked at the chair he’d offered her, which was like something a preschooler would sit in. Keeping her head down, she made her way over to the chair and precariously took a seat.

  “Would you like some candy?” Mortimer asked, placing the ball on the surface of his desk, which was covered in yellow paper, among other things. He pushed a dish of something that looked like brittle in her direction, and she got the distinct scent of peanuts.

  “No, I lost my appetite talking to that fae out there,” she said, indicating the door.

  He nodded, seeming to understand at once. “Now, what brings you here, my child?”

  Liv eyed the stack of books closest to her, wondering if they were about to teeter over and fall on her head. She pulled her attention back to the brownie. “Well, I was assigned to come here to impose new regulations on you.”

  “But…” the elf said, his bottom lip jerking to the side.

  “Well, brownies have been cleaning mortal’s houses for a long time, right?”

  “Since the very beginning,” he answered.

  “And suddenly the House wants to restrict which homes you clean and manage the process?” Liv began. “Does that make any sense to you?”