Unstoppable Liv Beaufont Boxed Set

by Sarah Noffke

  A fairy about the size of Freddy appeared beside the table, her pink wings matching her hair. She sized Liv up, giving her a smug expression. “Now, what can I get for you, Freddy, and your date?”

  The brownie covered his face with his hands, peeking through his fingers at Liv. “This isn’t a date, Zoyla. She’s a friend.”

  The pixie sighed in relief. “Oh, good. For a moment, we feared you’d gone to the dark side.”

  Liv looked around at the shop and realized that all the patrons were staring at her. Great! She was the cop everyone wanted to avoid.

  She laughed, trying to force a smile onto her face. “Don’t worry. I’m not as uptight as the others from the House of Seven.”

  Zoyla harrumphed. “We’ll see about that, Warrior.”

  “It’s true,” Freddy confided, his face resuming its normal shade of brown.

  “What will you have?” Zoyla asked.

  “Honeysuckle tea for me, and a jelly donut,” Freddy ordered when Liv gave him an uncertain expression, not sure what to order.

  “I’ll have the same,” she said when the pixie looked at her. Zoyla disappeared, and two seconds later two cups of tea appeared on the table with sugar and cream, followed by two donuts.

  “Wow, you weren’t kidding. She’s fast,” Liv said, her mouth watering at the sight of the glazed donut, which was steaming like it had just come out of the fryer. The smell of raspberry jam wafted up from the donut, greeting Liv’s nose.

  “Now to find this fae. Do you have one of his personal effects?” Freddy asked, blowing on his tea before taking a sip.

  Liv shook her head. “No. I hardly know him. We’ve only met a couple of times.”

  “Hmmm,” Freddy said, tapping the side of his teacup with his bony finger. “Has he ever touched you somewhere, like shaken your hand or something?”

  Liv picked up her donut, trying to decide where to take the first bite. “No. Otherwise, we’d be looking for a corpse.”

  Freddy agreed with a nod, nibbling on his donut like a beaver. “Well, then we’re going to have to resort to less dependable methods, but they should work.” He set down his donut and held out his knobby hands. “I’ll need you to hold my hands and think of the person you need to find.”

  Liv wiped her hands on a napkin covered in words and reached across the table, leaning at a weird angle as she perched on her unstable chair.

  “Not your date, huh?” Zoyla asked, materializing suddenly.

  Freddy rolled his large and bulbous eyes. “No, but I’m not sure why it’s any concern of yours.”

  “I just find it interesting that you dumped my sister for a rule follower.”

  Liv gawked at the pixie, who was hovering just above the ground. “I don’t follow rules. I’m the worst Warrior the House of Seven has ever seen. Just ask anyone.”

  Freddy squeezed her hands, which were still in his. “You’re the best. And you don’t have to respond to Zoyla. She can take her rumors and shove them up her—”

  “Will there be anything else?” the pixie asked, her face matching the pink color of her hair.

  “Just the check,” Freddy said.

  When Zoyla disappeared, he directed his attention back to Liv. “Now, it’s important that you focus. Think of the fae you’re trying to locate. Really dwell on his features. The color of his hair and eyes. The sound of his voice. Anything and everything about it.”

  “I’m afraid I’ll throw up my donut,” Liv stated.

  “This is important, is it not?” Freddy asked.

  Liv thought of her impossible mission: negotiating with the fae queen. “Yes. I’ll do it.” She closed her eyes and pulled up an image of Rudolf, honing in on his specific features: the curve of his jaw, the angles of his eyes, the blond of his hair, and his giant wings. He was an attractive man; that was undeniable. Probably the most attractive man she’d ever seen. However, when he opened his mouth, all that changed. As was typical of men, she thought with a laugh.

  “I’ve got something,” Freddy told her.

  Relieved, Liv’s eyes popped open.

  “He’s close,” Freddy continued.

  “Oh, like he’s here on Roya Lane? That’s convenient.”

  The brownie shook his head and pointed over her shoulder. “No, he’s standing right there.”

  Liv turned to find the fae standing just inside the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest and a dashing smile on his face.

  “Well, well, well. Look who can’t stop thinking about me?” Rudolf said, sauntering over. He grabbed a chair from a neighboring table and swung it around, gracefully sitting backward on the seat, not looking anything like as awkward as she felt on the tiny chair.

  “I wasn’t thinking about you,” Liv argued.

  Rudolf tapped the side of his head. “Oh, we fae always know when we consume another’s thoughts. That’s part of our gift. I felt your intense obsession with me as I strode by.”

  “We were trying to find you,” Liv explained, motioning to the brownie.

  “So you could confess your undying love for me,” Rudolf supplied, picking up the donut from her plate and taking a bite. He dropped it again, wiping the corners of his mouth with his pinky.

  Liv slid the plate away, a grimace on her face. “No. And seriously? I was looking forward to eating that.”

  “It tastes better now,” he said with a wink.

  “I’m certain it doesn’t,” Liv said, giving Freddy a grateful glance. “Thank you for helping me. It appears you were immediately successful.”

  “Not a problem, Liv Beaufont, Warrior for the House of Seven,” Freddy said humbly.

  “Why don’t we go somewhere more private to discuss whatever reason you’ve made up to stalk me?” Rudolf suggested, rising and extending a hand to Liv.

  Liv shot the brownie an uncertain look.

  “The fae is probably right,” Freddy said in reply. “There are many blabbermouths in here, so if you want whatever you discuss to remain private, I’d go someplace else.”

  “Like the hotel down the lane,” Rudolf suggested.

  “Eww,” Liv replied.

  “Don’t worry about the check, though. This was my treat,” Freddy stated, sipping his tea.

  “Thank you,” Liv told him, nearly falling over as she stood from the chair and making it topple over backward. That earned her curious expressions from many in the café. “I’ll see you soon, Freddy.”

  He waved as she followed Rudolf to the door. When they were almost through, she heard Zoyla say, “Oh, so she dumped you for a fae. That’s karma for you.”

  Chapter Nine

  “Stop laughing,” Liv scolded Rudolf, who had his head down on the table and was banging his fist on it as he laughed uncontrollably.

  They’d found a dark booth at a bistro down the lane called Salem Style. The food didn’t look all that appetizing, and in contrast to the Grimoire, the service was slow. But since the place was mostly empty, there was less chance of someone eavesdropping on them, even with Rudolf howling with laughter.

  He lifted his head, taking shallow breaths. “I’m sorry,” he said between giggles. “Tell me again. You’re going to waltz into the fae kingdom and demand what?”

  “I’m supposed to ask Queen Visa to alter our agreement so that fae don’t seduce mortals.”

  Again Rudolf erupted with laughter, banging on the table and nearly spilling their drinks. “You have a Last Will and Testament, I hope.”

  “I don’t,” Liv replied dryly.

  Rudolf lifted his head, trying and failing to make his face serious. “It’s really too bad, because I was starting to get used to your face, even with its many flaws.”

  “Thanks. I think I’d need more to drink to get used to you and your repugnance.”

  “Ouch,” Rudolf said, his laughter falling away completely. “I thought you wanted my help.”

  “I do. Can you help me?”

  “Well, not if you treat me like that. I like back rubs and poetry, th
ough.”

  “No, and hell no. Why don’t you do it as a favor, since we’re friends?”

  “Fae never do favors. You should know that. But agreements? That’s another story.”

  “I’m already in an agreement with you. By the way, have you recalled any memories related to my ring?”

  He shook his head. “In most of my healthiest relationships, we have anywhere from six to eight hundred agreements going at one time. I think that means we’re on the path to something wonderful.”

  “I think we’re minutes away from needing counseling.”

  “Fine. I’ll help you, but it will cost you. That’s how it goes with the fae.”

  “Well, what do you want?”

  Rudolf swirled his red wine, watching as the legs climbed the glass, showing its age. “It’s really nothing.”

  Liv lowered her chin and regarded him with hooded eyes. “I doubt that.”

  “I’d just request that you accompany me to a shop down the lane,” he said, his eyes still on the wine, watching it with amusement.

  “What’s the catch?” Liv asked.

  “There is no catch. You simply go into this store with me, and that’s it.”

  Liv pushed her own drink away, not having touched it. “That’s it? Why does this sound too simple?”

  Rudolf pursed his lips. “It sort of hurts my feelings that you think there is something deceptive to my request. Why can’t it be simple?”

  “You don’t have feelings,” Liv fired back.

  With a mock look of scorn, Rudolf clutched his chest. “That’s not true. I’m very sensitive.”

  “Fine; you have feelings somewhere under all that ego. But this shop…what’s it about?”

  “It’s just a regular old shop. Nothing fancy.”

  Liv wasn’t buying any of this for a second, but she needed Rudolf’s help. That much she knew. “There are no regular shops on Roya Lane. Everything is strange and laced with magic and run by centaurs or elves or whatever.”

  “You know, Queen Visa and I were once a thing,” Rudolf admitted casually.

  “Your point?”

  Rudolf took a drink, taking his time as he swished the wine around, really tasting it. “My point is that I know her fairly well, and can tell you exactly how to avoid death for the longest amount of time. I can’t make any guarantees, but I think I know how you should present yourself for the best results.”

  “And all I have to do is walk into a shop with you? That’s it?” Liv asked.

  “Yes. You’ll be like my date.”

  “No,” Liv said clearly and loudly on the heels of his statement.

  “Fine, you’ll be my friend, then.”

  Liv tilted her head back and forth, her face scrunched. “Let’s go with ‘acquaintance.’”

  “I don’t know what makes you so opposed to my affections. Many pine for me and would be grateful for the attention I lavish on you.”

  Liv shrugged. “I’m just unlovable.”

  Rudolf regarded her with curiosity for a moment. “No, that’s not it at all. You’re something, but I’ve yet to figure it out.”

  Sighing, Liv shook her head. “I can’t believe I’ve now entered into two agreements with you. I’ve obviously lost my mind.”

  “Actually, I think the opposite. You are learning that relying on the fae is the smart approach,” Rudolf imparted. “And speaking of the first agreement, I’m going to need something from you in order to have any chance of recovering the lost memory.”

  Liv raised an eyebrow at him. “What?”

  “The ring,” he answered.

  “Okay, you are insane. Certifiably. Delusional. What’s in that wine you’re drinking?”

  Rudolf laughed good-naturedly. “I don’t mean forever. Just for a little while. I need to borrow the ring to find the memory. I’ve thought about it, and it’s the only way.”

  “How do I know you’re not going to do something to the ring or not give it back?”

  “Dear, Liv, you have my word, which is the best thing I could give you.” Rudolf winked. “Well, besides a night of ecs—”

  “Finish that sentence and I’ll puke on you.” Liv reached into her jacket and retrieved the ring, holding it in her fingers tightly. “Are you sure you need this?”

  Rudolf nodded. “Yes, I believe so. The ring is part of what’s blocking the memory. I’ll need to do research first, though, to figure it all out. It shouldn’t take more than six or seven years.”

  Liv hugged the ring to her chest. “Six or seven years? I can’t wait that long, and you can’t have the ring for that long. I need it.” She thought of the wall in the library. If she loaned the ring to Rudolf, unlocking the Ancient Chamber, or whatever was there, was going to have to wait.

  “Oh, fine. I forget that you magicians don’t have that kind of time to spare,” Rudolf said with a sigh. “I guess I could push it up on my list.”

  “To when?” Liv asked skeptically.

  “How about in like two or three—”

  “Say years, and it will be the last words you speak, fae,” Liv threatened, cutting him off.

  A seductive smile formed on Rudolf’s mouth. “So feisty. I like that.”

  “Don’t care what you like.”

  “Oh, fine. It’s all business with you, all the time. How about I make it my priority after helping you with Queen Visa? I’m not sure how long it will take to recover the memory, but I give you my word that I’ll work on it. Hopefully, it will only take a week or so.”

  Liv regarded him for a long time, uncertainty brimming in her thoughts. “And the ring will be safe in your hands?”

  “As safe as your heart would be,” Rudolf said, batting his long eyelashes at her.

  “If you’re trying to convince me, you’re doing a poor job.”

  “Don’t worry, Liv. I’ll hold it dear, and protect it with my life.”

  Liv extended her hand, holding the ring. “No one can know that you have it or that it belongs to me, okay?”

  Rudolf nodded, holding out his hand. “I promise not to tell another living soul.”

  Liv hesitated. “Wait, does that mean you’ll tell the undead?”

  “Oh, she’s a clever one,” Rudolf said with a chuckle. “I promise to not tell anyone, living or not. With or without a soul. You have my word. No tricks.”

  “Fine,” Liv said with a sigh, dropping her mother’s ring into the fae’s hand.

  Chapter Ten

  “You know what I don’t understand?” Rudolf asked as they strode down the cobbled lane, most groups giving them curious glances as they passed.

  “How manners work? How to dress like an adult? How to stop making me throw up in my mouth?” Liv said, a mock look of seriousness on her face.

  Rudolf glanced down at the lavender tunic he was wearing and grimaced. “I had this shirt custom-made. The tailor said it really brought out my other features.”

  “Fire that person. They should have told you that men don’t look right in purple tones, even if they have giant maroon wings.”

  Rudolf smiled fondly over his shoulder at the ornate wings on his back. “You know that fae men tend to be very confident in their masculinity. I realize that’s something you’re not used to since you surround yourself with magicians who need to overcompensate because they have such little wands, if you know what I mean.”

  Liv rolled her eyes, moving behind Rudolf when the alley narrowed. She hadn’t been down this part of Roya Lane, which was more crowded and darker, the shops huddled close to one another. “Magicians don’t use wands.”

  Rudolf cast her a disappointed look over his shoulder. “I wasn’t referring to wands, hence the ‘you know what I mean’ part. I was talking about a magician’s—”

  “I got the point,” Liv interrupted.

  “Anyhoo, I was going to say that I don’t understand why you don’t just tell the Council that you were successful at getting Queen Visa to do what they want. You lied to them about the brownie case,
didn’t you?” Rudolf asked.

  “I’ve lied about the last few cases I’ve worked on because they were total shit and there was little chance the Council would figure it out. However, this is the first major one they’ve assigned me. I think they believe I’m going to fail, so it’s my chance to shove it in their faces and prove them wrong.”

  Rudolf gave her a doubtful look. “You might. And you might also get yourself killed. Either way, I’m going to be front and center to witness it.” He rubbed his hands together eagerly. “I haven’t seen a good show with Queen Visa in a long time. Not since she maimed her younger brother for yawning during one of her speeches.”

  “Maimed? For yawning? Damn, what a crazy witch! Why has she not been overthrown?” Liv asked.

  “Oh, she’s loads better than her predecessor. Queen Joy imprisoned all her people for half a century simply because she said she wanted some alone time,” Rudolf related, shaking his head. A dark look fell over his face.

  “Wow, ‘Queen Joy.’ How inappropriately named,” Liv said dryly.

  “I still haven’t talked to Arni, the fae I shared the cell with. While Queen Joy was soaking up her alone time, we all were having way too much time with each other.”

  “The fae are strange creatures,” Liv stated. “And I’m going to do whatever it takes to win this case. Everything is riding on it.”

  “Like your life,” Rudolf said with a rude laugh.

  Liv shook her head. “No, there are actually some things more important than living.”

  Rudolf gawked at her, his wings going still. “Like what?”

  “Like family,” Liv answered as they halted in front of a shop.

  “Oh, and if you die, then…”

  “Then my family loses their place in the House of Seven. I’m not allowing that to happen. Ever.”

  Rudolf leaned in close, his nose nearly brushing her ear. “Be careful. You almost looked like you actually cared about something just then.” He peeled away, giving her a wink. “Don’t worry, though. Your secret is safe with me.”