by J H Cardwell
I blew out a quick breath “Well she’s not the only one.”
Tate had a smile on his face. He was looking at me with his casual look. “Reese, can I please take you home? I want to make sure you get there safely?”
I looked over at my friends. Why didn’t they seem to be as affected as me? “Well, I don’t feel so well all of a sudden.” I actually felt like I might be sick…and already…Ugh!
“That settles it, I’ll take you home.” Tate stood and pulling me up by my hands ushered me over to the girls’ table. They weren’t happy with me for leaving, but they seemed to understand. I truly was wasted. This was certainly not a regular occurrence for me. It was crazy how my feelings changed so quickly from being super relaxed and having fun, to feeling like I was going to hurl any second.
I had to roll the window down on the ride home. I felt like a dog hanging its head out, panting and lapping up the wind. I needed the fresh air to keep from throwing up in Tate’s truck. Shit…this sucked. Oh God, I felt like…”Pull over Tate,” I said with my hand on the door handle. He quickly obliged, then he hopped out of the driver’s side and ran over to me. I was so embarrassed. My stomach heaved at least twice, all while Tate held my hair. “Please don’t look. I know it has to be so gross.” I couldn’t believe he was standing beside me witnessing this.
I wasn’t sure how long we were there stalled on the side of the road, but it felt like an eternity. He gave me a napkin to wipe my mouth with, and a water bottle he had in his truck to rinse with. “Oh God, Tate, I’m so sorry. I feel just rotten.” I could barely open my eyes, but I had to, because my surroundings were still spinning if I kept them closed.
“Reese, I know what you’re probably going to say, but I’m going to ask you anyway. Will you come home with me? We can stay in the pool house. That way, you don’t have to go home feeling and looking like this.” Crap! I must look really bad too.
“I…” I started to speak but Tate cut me off.
“Please Reese, I’ll take care of you…and no funny business I promise, okay? I hate you feel so sick and drunk. You got out of control tonight. I wished I could have stopped your drinking before you got this bad. I’m going by the store and getting you water, Coke, and crackers, not to mention some Advil. No arguments, okay?
I didn’t say anything. I’m sure I looked as pale and sick as I felt. Tate stopped at the Circle K and ran in to buy me items to help my sick feeling. Even through my queasiness, I was thankful Tate was so attentive to my needs. When he came back out, he grabbed my cell phone and asked if he could send a text to my parents, that I was staying at his house and that everything was okay. I could tell this text made him nervous. I’m sure he was worried what they would say. But, they trusted me, and they knew they didn’t need to monitor everything I did. After all, I was in college pretty much year round without them there to police my activities.
woke to an alarm…crap, my phone alarm. When I looked at the clock, it was 9am. I jumped…where was I? The room didn’t look familiar, and I was suddenly scared. But, the more I moved around, the more I realized how crappy I felt. I was feeling sick. I needed water…and food. When I raised my head, the room still had a spin to it. This couldn’t be good. I must have fallen asleep…somewhere, but where? Crap, I remember drinking myself to oblivion.
Then it dawned on me...I sat up too quickly and felt immediately like I was going to hurl. As I was gaining my ground, I heard a voice. His voice.
“Good morning Reese. I thought you might sleep later than this.” He said.
My eyes flew open, and I immediately regretted it. Oh yeah. “My alarm went off. Tate?” My brain caught up to my surroundings.
“Hey.” Tate said. “I was getting worried about you. What do you need? You had more than your share of alcohol last night. I bet your friends aren’t feeling much better either.” I suddenly realized what all had happened. I had gotten too drunk at Ruckers with my girls, and Tate brought me back to his house. Oh no! I also remembered just how sick I had gotten on the way home.
“Tate,” I squeaked out, “I hate you had to see me so sick last night in your truck.” My nose turned up at the thought of what he saw.
“Um, I don’t know how you have a stomach left after last night Reese. I was getting really concerned for how many times you threw up.” Oh God! It was more than on the drive home…it must have also been here, I thought.
“I must have been in terrible shape last night then. Thanks for helping me. I’m sorry I was so…nasty, Tate. I never planned to get that out of control. I’ll be glad to call Elle, or a cab, to come get me this morning.”
Tate stepped closer to me, and then sat down on the bed beside of me. “No way Reese. I plan to ‘nurse’ you back today, and spend some time with you, you know. By the way, you owe me lunch and ice skating.” Tate said.
My stomach churned at the thought of any activity outside of sleep. “I…I don’t know what to say. I really feel like total crap…I don’t think I would be very good company.” I squinted my eyes at Tate. He looked so dang adorable. Scratch that, he looked down right breathtaking looking up at me, almost enough to melt my heart. It was December, but he had a full out tan, and his eyes seemed to have gained even more golden flecks in the last few months while he’d been in California. I was smitten.
“Please, let me make that decision. I know you feel like shit, but you can stay in bed all day if you like. I’ll bring your phone over and you can text your parents.” Crap! I forgot about them.
“Oh no Tate, I bet they are worried sick about me.” I was suddenly frantic, which didn’t help my head out, not in the least.
“Calm down Reese. I texted them from your phone last night to let them know you were staying at my house. They texted back for you to be careful.” I knew what that implied. I felt myself blush. But, again, I remembered how Tate always took the reins with caring for me.
“Okay, I guess maybe I could stay here for a little while. I’m not sure how or why you would want to spend any time with me like this.” I just wanted to drink (I had a cotton mouth), eat, and sleep.
Tate brought me my phone. “Also, Elle texted you. She’s worried about what happened to you last night. You should text her and let her know.” Oh, I guess they probably do wonder what happened between Tate and me I thought. I wonder how their heads are feeling this morning?
After a sausage biscuit from McDonalds, and a latte (my favorite), I was feeling some better. I was just going to have to get used to my head having a heaviness with a little rotation in it all day.
Around noon, I was ready to get out of bed. Tate had been too good to me. It was so comforting to have him taking care of me again, even if it was just for today. That thought depressed me a bit, but I wouldn’t dwell. I had gotten tougher over the past several months, more independent.
“Reese, if you want to take a shower, feel free to. I can take you by your house to change clothes before we go to lunch if you like.” So he was sticking to our original plan. Was he expecting me to go ice skating too?
“Um, I think that’s a good idea. If you don’t mind, I would feel more awake if I could take a hot shower.”
{Tate}
I’m about to lose it. Reese slept in my guest bedroom, with me, all night. Granted, she was passed out after being drunk, but she was here…with me…all night. The feeling was surreal. I knew the second I laid eyes on her yesterday, I wasn’t about to ever let her go again. The hundreds of other girls that have thrown themselves at me over the last few months don’t hold a candle to my Reese. I get a lot more attention now that I’m a well-known name in baseball, but I never caved. I was too busy anyhow, but I couldn’t possibly have been with another woman when all I could think about was Reese. I felt her, day in and day out, her skin, her hair, I even smelled her…I’ve been consumed with her.
And now, she’s in my shower, naked, I want so badly to touch her, to feel her. Does she think the same things? What will happen between us? One thing that has to
happen, we have to get back together. I can’t stand the thought of not having her after this. It doesn’t matter what she thinks right now, I have to make her see what we mean to each other. I’m a changed man. This time we’ve had away from each other was…necessary. I see that now. Our life together will be better for it. She’ll see. Oh God! I need her.
fter grabbing clothes at my house, and dancing around questions from my mom, I took off with Tate. We went to lunch; I was beginning to feel more like myself again. Spending time with Tate seemed so right. I had never imagined we could just pick up right where we left off like this. Our conversations were light but meaningful. I was glad to hear his dad was still feeling great. He had started cholesterol therapy, and was on a strict diet and exercise regime. Tate was sure to tell me his dad had asked about me. I was thankful he had made things right with me when he was in the hospital.
I was filling Tate in on my academics, and how I had switched my major. He didn’t seem surprised at all. He seemed truly happy for me to have discovered my future passion. I was talking non-stop about everything…until I caught his expression. He was smiling at me, staring in my eyes. My heart skipped a beat.
“Tate, why are you smiling?” I wanted to know what I said to amuse him so much. I wasn’t meaning to be funny or cute.
“I just…I’m so glad you’re happy Reese.” He reached out and grabbed my hand. My heart was racing with the feel of his skin on mine. “I’m glad to know you’re doing well, that’s all.” Then his face suddenly fell. His eyes seemed full of pain.
“What is it Tate? What are you thinking?” What could make him go from happy to sad so quickly? I was more than curious.
“I guess maybe you truly are better off without me. I’m just realizing this…I never thought that would be the case.” He tried to release my hand, but I held on to his with my thumb.
“Tate, I have missed you.” Tears started gathering in my eyes. “I’m sad to think that basically we just lost over six whole months of each other’s lives. We have so much to catch up on. I’m so sorry for all I put you through. I want us to always stay close friends, never let this much space to come between us. We can’t ever let this much time lapse again either…okay?” I thought that would help, but it only seemed to make him more put off.
“Hey, are you ready to go?” He said grabbing the check. “If you’re done eating, I’ll pay on the way out.” Tate had gone distant suddenly. I let out a long breath, ready to go too I guess. Christmas was in two days. I needed to do a little shopping, not to mention wrapping, and seeing extended family. Tate walked me out to his truck, his hand on my lower back. His nearness sent electricity up my spine, with just the lightest touch. Should I tell him how I’m feeling?
When we got to his truck, I stopped quickly. Turning to look at Tate I said, “I’ve missed you. I don’t know how we’ve spent so long without seeing…”
“…Or feeling each other.” Tate finished my sentence the way he wanted it to go. Then he leaned in, and closing his eyes, he kissed me. It was a slow, tender, no holds barred kiss. I felt weak in the knees and lightheaded from my heart racing. He drew back. I slowly opened my eyelids to see his beautiful eyes staring back into mine. Giving me no time to think, he quickly came back in for another kiss. This time, it was deeper, more intense. His tongue found mine and swirled with anticipation. His hands moved from my shoulders to my lower back. I wrapped my arms around his neck. We couldn’t possibly have gotten any closer. I felt his body responding, growing with desire. After several minutes, Tate pulled back.
“Reese, there is no way in hell we can just be friends…Shit! I don’t know about you, but I don’t kiss my friends like that. I wanted to take you right here and now and make love to you.” My eyes got big, and I sucked in a deep breath. “But out of respect for you, I guess I won’t do that.” He followed it with a smirk. “Tell me you felt it Reese. Tell me you felt our forever connection? I have to know how you feel about me.”
I searched his eyes. His pulse was still pounding. “Oh Tate, I…I feel like I’m going to pass out, that’s how I feel. You take my breath away…literally.” I reached up, my fingers touching my swollen lips. “I haven’t kissed anyone since you Tate.” I stared deep into his eyes. I wanted him to know my heart still pined for only him. “There’s been no one, no one since you.” And with that he kissed me again.
“Tate,” I said muffled against his lips. “I didn’t hear you say…but I have to ask. Has there…has there been anyone since me?” I was afraid now to ask, but I felt compelled too. It was time to clear the air and all of that.
He pulled back, still hugging me close though, and laughed. “I could never, ever, even try to replace you Reese. These lips have been in hiding since April, I’ll have you know. They have a reverse magnet with anyone except you Reese. They only are drawn to your beautiful mouth.
Come on. Let’s get out of here.”
He opened the door for me, and helped me up in the cab of his truck. Before he could shut the door I spoke. “Tate, I barely made it…”
“What? What do you mean?” Tate asked with a confused look on his face.
“I barely made it this last six months without you. The only thing that kept me going was my job at the pregnancy clinic, and my friends. I realized I need the lovin’ of a good man to keep me going, and not just any man…you.” He stared at me for another moment, then smiling he closed my door.
As he was getting ready to open his door, I saw him with his head down, checking his phone. He must have thought I couldn’t see him and his expression, but he was shaking his head, evidently reading a text or email he wasn’t happy about. I tried to hide my questioning look when he opened his door and looked at me a couple of minutes later.
“Sorry about that. So are you ready?” He asked obviously not elaborating on what he had just read and responded to on his phone. “Hey, how about if we take a rain check on the iceskating. I’m sure you would rather do that when you’re feeling your best.” He said with a small smile.
I felt deflated. “Sure. I really need to go home and check in with my parents. I have Christmas shopping to do anyhow.”
“Okay, cool. I’ll call you later today okay?” Great, this is not how I thought this evening would go after the moment we had just a few minutes earlier. Now I was worried who had texted Tate. Maybe there really was someone else. Why was he suddenly so different? But really, why wouldn’t I have expected there to be another girl in his life? Tate is gorgeous, a gentleman, and the hottest new rookie in MLB. Great! Now I felt it even more likely that he had someone on the side.
After Tate dropped me off, I had some quality time with my parents, reminiscing about Christmas’s past and talking about things going on in my life. They were still happy I had made the change to become a counselor/psychologist. I was excited too about helping out others whose lives had dealt them a bad hand.
I couldn’t shake this feeling that Tate was involved with someone. So I did what I had to do. I called Elle. I was determined to see if Finn had shared anything with her.
“Girl! What happened to you?” Elle said when she answered the phone.
I laughed. “I joined the circus, and left town.”
“Shut up! I was worried about you. I mean I know you were with Tate last night, but I haven’t heard from you since. You were drunk Reese. I hardly ever see you like that. What gives?”
I let out a long sigh. “Well, I slept with Tate last night.” I said with my most convincing voice.
“What!! No way! I can’t believe you. Promise me?” Elle was frantic.
I laughed and she knew I was joking. “Well, I did actually sleep with him, but we didn’t actually sleep together, if you know what I mean.” I laughed again.
“Reese, be serious. What happened with you and Tate?” I could tell she was desperate for information.
“Okay, well it went down like this...I got drunk, threw myself at Tate, then I threw up many times in front of Tate, he had me sleep in
their pool house in the guest bedroom evidently with him in the bed beside of me, then I was sick feeling all morning, he fed me breakfast, then I showered, dressed at my house, then we went out for lunch. We had one of the best kisses of my life, then he acted like he wanted me gone. End of story.”
There was silence on the other end. I’m sure she was still digesting my long, run-on sentence. “Dang Reese. That is another crazy story… for sure. One day you’re going to make millions putting your life down on paper.” She laughed. “I hate you got so sick in front of him…I know you do too. And that kiss! Oh. My. God! Then what happened? Why did he wig out on you?” Elle was enjoying herself. But, I could tell she was worried about how Tate had left it.
“I’m not sure. He got a text right before he dropped me off, and right after our sex by mouth episode of a kiss, then he was down and seemingly pissed. I was hoping you could shed some light on it. Has Finn said anything about him having another girl?” I was probing her, but I had to know.
“Reese, I don’t think he’s had anyone else since you and he split. But I couldn’t promise that. As much as Finn wishes he could see him more, he hasn’t seen him nearly enough, so there may be things he doesn’t know. But…like I said, I just don’t think so. Could it be Lisa?” Dang it, I hadn’t thought of that. “I’m not saying it was, I was just trying to think it through,” said Elle.
“I sure hope not. But I wouldn’t put it past Lisa to summon him while he’s home for Christmas.” I said.
“Well just sit tight Reese. Wait it out. You’ve spent the last several months without him and did just fine. I’m sure the next few hours, possibly days, will be fine too.” Oh I guess I hid my pain well. I was dying without Tate, but he didn’t call, only texted a few times, so I figured he didn’t want me anyhow. Especially, after I had been with John so intimately…oh John.