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Atonement

Page 17

by J H Cardwell


  After we stopped by an Albertson’s grocery store, Tate seemed to have all he needed. We were on the sand minutes later. He rolled out a blanket, and pulled out wine, a cheese and grape tray, and Diet Dr. Pepper. I was in Heaven. Of course, we would have to drink our wine out of paper cups, and luckily he knew to get the screw cap wine bottle, instead of one with a cork screw.

  “Tate, you thought of everything,” I said.

  “For you Reese, everything is not nearly enough.” He said grinning like a school boy. “I want you to love being here in California. After all, you’ll be an official resident in less than six weeks.”

  Oh crap! That was no time. I was excited and scared. But mostly I was ready, ready to have all of Tate.

  Tate laid out the blanket. I set out everything else. I had on a soft sundress, and my hair was in loose, soft waves around my face. He was in khaki shorts, a Padres skin tight nylon t-shirt. (stretched tightly over his muscular chest and arms), and a ball-cap. He poured us each a cup of wine.

  “Reese, isn’t it weird in just a few short weeks, we will be husband and wife?” He said grinning at me with a low, husky voice.

  “Hmmm, yes. I can’t wait.” I said, eyeing him up and down. He threw his head back laughing. “I can’t wait Tate. I’ve been ready for you for a long, long time.” I said a little tipsy, and saying what I meant.

  Tate laughed. “Oh Reese. You have no idea. I have everything planned out for us…down to the moment. I want everything to be perfect.” He was a little nervous acting, but a lot heated. I could see the red creeping up his neck and onto his cheeks.

  I crawled over to Tate and placed my hand on his stomach. “Tate, I want to be everything you ever desire. I don’t want you to ever want another woman again. I need you to tell me, okay. Tell me if you aren’t satisfied when the time comes. I need to know. I can’t always wonder if I’m enough for you.” I was suddenly serious. Tate was an extremely gorgeous, wealthy, and newly famous man. I suddenly realized how many women would want him. Women that could show him and teach him things I didn’t know anything about.

  Tate studied me for a few moments. “You have to trust me Reese.” He leaned down and kissed me. “You will be perfect from day one. I want you to always remember. I love you more than my life, and your kiss alone drives me wild.” With that he kissed me…a kiss that lasted for at least…well if felt like nearly eternity. Lying on the blanket kissing your love near the crashing waves did something to a person. The touching, grinding, kissing, caressing. It was enough to drive me to the edge. I was so lucky. The only person I had to thank was God. Somehow, by His grace, we ended up back together, and we were waiting until we were married…to have sex. I thought of Bella and Edward from Twilight. Of course, we weren’t super humans, or vampires, but we were making it so much more special by waiting. We could spend forever making each other feel just like this. My promise ring, now on my right hand, was a constant reminder of that…my promise to wait.

  We pulled apart for a moment and were just laying together, my head on his chest. “Hey Tate, I was thinking earlier during your game…”

  “You were thinking during my game, and not focusing every brain cell on me.” Tate said jokingly while giving small, sweet kisses on the top of my head.

  I laughed. “Yeah, I was thinking of how great it would be if Finn could play for the Padres too, and when he and Elle get married, because I know they will, they can live near us!” I was so excited just talking about it my voice seemed to raise an octave.

  Tate was silent for a moment with a sly look on his face. “Actually,” then it became a full out smile, “The Padres are already looking at Finn. But I didn’t tell you that…promise me Reese, I didn’t tell you that.” He turned my chin to him to make sure he could see my eyes.

  “I promise, I said. But, Oh my God!” I was clapping like a little kid. “Are you serious Tate? I would give anything to have my best friend near me again. I mean she would have to transfer to USD, and they would have to find a place to live, and we could decorate together, and…”

  “Slow down Reese.” He was shaking his head laughing. “Of course it would be awesome, but it hasn’t happened yet, so that’s why you HAVE to promise me not to say anything. I can’t imagine them getting their hopes up and then it not coming through.” Tate said. “But God I love to see you so happy and so excited.” He was holding my chin between his fingers staring in my eyes. I could feel the compassion and love pouring from him. I was also still reeling over the possibility for Elle and Finn. Life couldn’t be better if that happened. I was so excited about my future!

  he weeks flew by. Next weekend I would be Mrs. Tate Justice. I was ecstatic and scared all at the same time. I had showed my parents and Tate’s parents pictures of our new house. I still couldn’t believe I would have a waterfront place in California. Our home would be just inside Mission Bay, minutes from the sports arena, USD, and La Jolla. I couldn’t wait!

  Days after my return from San Diego, scouts came to see Finn play. He was shocked, as was Elle. They were very impressed with Finn, impressed enough that they were flying him out to California for him to show off in front of the main coaches. Surprisingly enough, this would happen in two weeks…the week after we come back home from our honeymoon. Life was truly surreal. Elle couldn’t believe the possibility of us both being in San Diego together may come true. She had no qualms at all of transferring to USD and being near us…near me!

  I was home for the weekend. Elle, Chloe and Maura had planned a girls’ weekend and tomorrow night would be my bachelorette party. I had no idea what was planned, but I knew with all of us, it had to be something fun. Finn was in charge of Tate’s party. I shudder to think of what would happen at his. Finn promised me he wouldn’t allow anything to happen that Tate would regret, of course he followed it up with ‘at least as long as you each don’t find out’. Of course I told him that went both ways as I winked at him.

  Friday night was spent once again in the cabin and the hot tub. We laughed and carried on just like we had hundreds of times before now. Tonight was just about the four of us. Tomorrow night would be several other girls, a few from college, and others from here in town.

  After we finished our relaxing dip, we ended up back in the cabin. Maura had made her famous pitcher of blueberry lemonade vodka punch. And they had each brought heavy appetizers. Elle stood up and looking at each of the other girls said, “Okay, it’s time…time to get sappy.” What? Oh no, I wondered what she was possibly talking about. Then she nodded to Maura as she sat down and Maura stood up facing me.

  Clearing her throat, Maura began, “Well, I drew the short straw to go first Reese.” She said as she took out a small box from inside her purse. “We each decided to write a letter about what you mean to us, and we had to make, purchase, or give you something that we knew would mean a lot to you. So, here goes.” She looked up at me and her eyes were red. “It’s not too long,” she laughed, “but hopefully just long enough.” She read:

  To Reese, one of my best friends for life. We are so very lucky to have found each other years ago, to grow up together, experience life together, and now live our adult lives together. God had a special plan, as always, when he placed you and me in the same history class in 6th grade. I think my life would be forever BORING, had that not happened. I was the nerdy one Reese, shy and reserved. You introduced me to Elle, and you two quickly helped me enjoy dressing, acting, and playing like the girl…correction, diva we all were. I also witnessed you bitch slap Sherri Wilson for sending that picture viral of me leaning over Brian Rierson. I know you, Chloe, and Elle always have my back, and I couldn’t be more thankful. I love you and want you to know I am always here for you. Remember, like I’ve always said, keep the faith. Love, Maura.” She folded her note back up, and walking over to me she hugged me hard. We were both crying. Then she handed me her box. Opening it I laughed out loud.

  “Maura, this is so true.” I held up a photo of the four of us tucked in a frame
that read, ‘A Good Friend knows all your best stories. A Best Friend has lived them with you’. We all burst out laughing with glistening eyes. Behind that frame was a mini photo album, with candid snapshots and copied notes we had sent each other throughout the years in different classes and while in church. Cute little notes that I had no idea she would have held on to. They were slid in the plastic sleeves in the back of the album. I got teary and hugged Maura again. Okay, only one down and I was already a blubbering mess.

  “My turn, I’m next,” said Elle. I wasn’t sure I could handle the emotions of two more letters, but I was loving it none the less. “Okay Reese, here goes.” She unfolded her letter. There was a long pause before she started. “ To Reese…Damn it…I said I wouldn’t cry.”

  Now I was crying too. Wiping our eyes simultaneously and letting out a soft chuckle, She started again, “To Reese, my rock, my shadow. We have been through it all, and I mean all. I think back to when we first really got to know each other in the 5th grade. You and I quickly became two peas in a pod. We shared everything together. We spent EVERY weekend at each other’s house. We went on vacations together, we met summer boys together on those vacations.” She said with raised eyebrows and a smile. “I guess they were truly the only things we didn’t share. We made sure we strategically planned for us to be together during a snow storm, so we couldn’t be taken home…you know with bad roads and all. We played Pictionary and other board games with each other’s families. Reese, we have been just like sisters.” She looked around the room. “We all have. I just want you to know that I am your sister in every way. I will always be here for you…always. I only have your best interest at heart, you know that.” I knew she was thinking of all the times she communicated with John, and how he learned about Lauren through her. “My plan is for us, and our future kids to spend our lives together. I am so happy for you and Tate, I know you will truly be blissful, and I hope for you to have a long, amazing life together. I love you.”

  Then she came over and hugged me, handing me her wrapped gift. I was crying, and a little over the top emotional. Opening it, I was speechless. It was a large, square box that was sectioned off into six smaller squares inside. Each square filled with small trinkets. The first square had a mesh bag and inside the bag was a key. “That is from my parents and me. It’s your personal key to our beach house. You can use it any time you and Tate are on the East Coast, your parents too.” I smiled, tears in my eyes. “No one loves that house more than you do,” she said. I looked at her with sound appreciation. The next square had an, oh my gosh, it was a Furby, the miniature version. “That was the first Christmas gift you ever gave me Reese. I kept it all these years.” I was stunned. Smiling, I slowly placed it back in the box. I reached in the next square, and inside I found the first Bratz doll I had gotten for Christmas. I gasped. “That is YOUR Bratz doll. You ‘lost’ it the week after Christmas after playing at my house. You claimed you were cool with not having it, you were too old and all, but I could tell it bothered you. I found it a couple of years ago when I was packing for college. I thought you would love seeing it again.” I nodded, a little choked up. I had loved that doll. The fourth square was a picture of us and our science projects. “That was a picture of when we first met, and basically the moment we became inseparable.” The fifth square was a letter I had written her when she didn’t make cheerleading in the 7th grade. I had told her ‘those Fruit Loops didn’t know what they were doing, and they had passed up the best cheerleader who had ever graced the doors of Pendleton Middle School.” When I looked up at Elle, she was crying. I know that was an emotional time for her. The sixth square was a folded up page from a…Bridal Magazine? I looked at Elle with a confused look.

  “Um, what is this? I already have all of my dresses picked out.” Elle was red faced, and grinning at me.

  “That,” she said pointing to the picture, “Is what I was thinking for my bridesmaids and Matron of Honor to wear at my wedding.” She said looking at each of us. We were silent for a moment. Then I squealed. Yes, it was the girliest of squeals, but I couldn’t help it.

  “You…You and Finn are engaged.” It wasn’t a question, more like a firm statement. This time I jumped up and hugged her. “Oh my God, I can’t believe this! When? How? I can’t believe Tate didn’t tell me!” We all hugged. I was ecstatic!

  “I put that in your box Reese, because it is yet one more thing that we will share! He just did it last night! Here in town! My parents gave their blessing. If he gets drafted to the Padres, it will make us that much more permanent too, and he wanted my parents to know that beforehand so they wouldn’t question if I moved out there with him!” We were jumping around. Oh good grief. This couldn’t get any better. Ahhh. Once we got our breath, it was Chloe’s turn.

  She stood up and said, “Okay, here goes. Since you know how eloquent I can be, here is mine:

  “Congratulations Reese, I love you sista!” Then she sat back down. We all sat there stunned, and I let out a weird laugh. But of course I had a look of ‘o-kay’ on my face.

  “Oh hell to the no Chloe. I can see your paper. You have something written all over it. Spill it.” I was dying to hear it.

  Chloe’s face turned red. Something she never does. “Damn why do you have to be so smart Reese?” She stood up and walked closer to me. Chloe pretended she liked to be the center of attention, but the truth was she liked to hide more than she did show off. “Alright, you asked for it. But I’ve got to warn you, there’s nothing poetic here.” We all sat really quite. I loved Chloe. Sometimes I don’t think she really realized how much.

  “To Reese, You and Tate, well, I always did tell you he was the hottest ticket around here.” She cleared her throat. “Frankly Reese, you deserve the best there is out there. You, well, you have stuck to your virtues. You make the best kind of girlfriend and now you’ll make the best kind of wife. You are loyal, kind, funny, and most of all, worthy. You have kept your promises. I’ve always told you your looks were what drew the guys, but in truth it is your heart. She looked up at me with a short pause, then back down to her paper. You are a good person Reese, don’t ever change. I have loved you for who you are. I hope one day I can grow up to be just like you, and that one day I will be loved like you. In the meantime, call me anytime you need ‘that’ kind of advice, because God knows I’ve got plenty of it! Wink wink, laugh, laugh.” Then she walked over to me and said “Here,” and threw me her gift.

  I of course was crying. I love, love, love Chloe. And I did feel sorry for her. I wanted her to feel loved, no matter what. “Chloe, that was so sweet!” she shrugged me off, “I have no doubt in my mind you will find true love, but in the meantime, I love you Chloe. So much!!” I hugged her hard, and so did Elle and Maura. We were all a blubbering mess.

  “Hey, you didn’t open her gift,” said Maura.

  “You’re right!” I said tearing off the paper. Inside there was a picture of the four of us, it had to be 7th grade. We were all in our school mascot shirts, all dressed out for PE. We were lucky to all have the same PE class that year. In fact, it just dawned on me, this is the first year we all became the clique we are now. It was the year Chloe’s brother had died of leukemia. Oh God. That was an awful time, why would she put this picture in here. “Chloe, this is a great picture, but that was such a hard time for you.” I had a concerned look on my face.

  “Oh, I know that’s how y’all probably remember it. But for me, I remember it as the first time I ever…ever truly felt a part of something. Y’all took me in, no questions asked. It’s one of my favorite pictures. And, it’s only a copy…I have the original.” She said looking down at it with real compassion and a faraway look on her face. “Now, open the real gift, damn it, things are too serious around here.” She threw her hand up in the air.

  Un-wrapping the gift, I gasped. “Holy cow,” was all I could say. “Chloe,” I said with a VERY red face and neck. “Girl, thank God you gave this to me tonight instead of tomorrow night at my par
ty and lingerie shower. I would have been embarrassed as all get out.” I was pulling the items out one by one. Just…touching them felt…dirty. I couldn’t help but laugh. Chloe quickly grabbed each one, explaining it. The looks on Maura and Elle’s face were hilarious. They were speechless. After an explanation on each item from Chloe we were ALL speechless. She just looked around at us like…What?

  “Like I told you, if you ever need help in that department I’m here for you.” She said with a sly smile. This is the part of Chloe that always worried me. Now wasn’t the time to discuss that though. I hugged her again, still on fire with embarrassment, but chuckling at her brazenness.

  The night had been amazing! But all good things must come to an end. We all decided to turn in before midnight because we knew we would be up most of the night tomorrow. I couldn’t wait!

  y last Saturday being single, well at least not married, flew by. My mom took me shopping for little trinkets for mine and Tate’s new house. I just couldn’t shake this surreal feeling and it was ridiculous to think I would be a married woman soon. I felt so young though, too young. Was I crazy to be marrying Tate? I loved him. God I loved him. I knew I didn’t want to live without him, but was I having second thoughts? If I was, was he? Maybe it was just butterflies. I didn’t know how to feel, except a bit overwhelmed.

  Tonight, in just a couple of hours now, we were having my bachelorette party. The girls had reserved a suite at the Hilton High Rise, and they were psyched. Elle was picking me up at 5 pm, then going by and picking up Maura and Chloe. We would leave Elle’s car at the hotel all night, while a limo picked us up and carted us all over town. The hotel had happy hour from 6-8 pm, and they had reservations at Merrill’s Grille at 8:30 pm. My lingerie party would occur during the happy hour, but up in our room. After we ate a late dinner, the limo would carry us to a couple of different clubs to dance the night away. I was excited. I really needed to remember to pace myself since this was my party…I didn’t want to miss any of it. I surely couldn’t end up feeling like I did several months ago at Coplan’s…I would need to make sure that didn’t happen.

 

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