Bride and Prejudice

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  He grinned, tugging on the bottom of his tie. “I hope so, I'm a lawyer.” JJ glanced down as Nathan walked past him and claimed a seat on the couch to play with a small toy car. “I handle all kinds of cases – family law, estate law, liability, you name it. I’m pretty much the only lawyer in town since Old Man, I mean, since Mr. Jamison passed away a few years ago.”

  David Jamison had died? The Jamison family had been as entrenched in the Bride community as the Sinclairs, except from the right side of the tracks – like Jeremiah and his family.

  None of that mattered compared to JJ’s success. Success she had walked away from being a part of. Success he would probably never have found, if she’d stuck around. She had to hold onto that.

  She blinked at him. “Wow, you did it. Great job.” He finished his dreams and in short succession. He'd always been so smart. Hearing he’d done something with his potential made her feel better about her decisions so long ago. Tessa worked her fingers, twisting and pulling at waist level as she watched him.

  Even though she hadn’t been there, she couldn’t help the flash of pride that rushed through her.

  Finally, he lifted his gaze and they connected. Tessa tried to stop the flood of whatever passed between them. She wanted to say she was sorry for leaving him and taking his child but... He hadn't even known about the boy until she was gone.

  If he even knew. Had he known? How would he have found out, if her mother hadn’t told him? How forthcoming had Jillian been with him? Did he know about the fight between Tessa and Jillian? Shame came over Tessa. The last thing she needed was her dirty laundry out for Jeremiah to see.

  “Your mom. With how you left... I thought... no, hoped you’d been lying. Jillian had said you lost...” He looked at her questioningly as if maybe he wasn't sure. He motioned toward Nathan, a shadow of betrayal growing in his eyes and the hardness of his jaw. Somehow he tempered the rising emotion.

  Tessa dug her fingernails into the soft tissue of her palm. She never could control her emotions that way. “Yeah, well. Life happens.” She changed the direction of their conversation, catching the slight narrowing of his eyes. She had to cut him off before the accusations started and he asked why she left and why she’d taken Nathan. “How are your parents?”

  “They passed away couple years ago.” He said matter-of-factly as if he hadn't just said that his parents had died. He didn’t even seem affected by their loss. The truth was hard to hear.

  “I'm sorry.” But was she? His parents had hated her, as the daughter of the bar owner she was a blemish on Bride, Texas. His parents had never let her forget it. As if Tessa needed help remembering where she came from and who she was. Folding her arms, she stuck her foot to the side, leaning her weight on her hip. “What did you need, Jeremiah?”

  “It’s Jeremiah now?” Something unrecognizable flashed in his eyes. “I was your mom's lawyer. We need to go over some things. When she died, Jillian owed only a small amount of money on the bar but not much. I know she had bills she was working on as well. Leaving you and your... son in the will, she had some caveats in place in case you didn’t choose to keep the bar. She didn't know Nathan’s name or even that he was a boy, so she never included that in the paperwork.”

  “Caveats?” Tessa drew her brows together and chewed on her bottom lip. Her lack of education was showing and feeling stupid wasn’t on her list of favorite things. She blinked, wishing her breathing would calm down and that JJ wouldn’t realize she was about to freak out.

  “Yes. For instance, if you want to sell the bar, you can only sell your half to the co-owner. If you sell the bar, the apartment goes with it.” JJ pulled his hands out and ticked off the information on his fingers. “There are a lot more, but we can go over those later. For the most part, that’s the biggest one. Did you want to sell the bar? Or, maybe you want to continue what she was doing...” He left the question as more of a lingering statement.

  She clutched onto the main thing she understood. “What was she continuing to do? Seems like maybe that was an unfinished question?” Tessa was done playing games. She wanted the information blunt and fast and she wanted to know what was going on.

  No more playing games. No more subtleties. Just tell her like it was. That wasn’t asking too much.

  JJ cleared his throat and rocked forward on his feet. He tucked his hands back into his pockets. “Well, I'm a full partner in her business. I bailed her out financially a while ago. You and I both own the business at this point.” He had the sensitivity to look uncomfortable while dispelling that information.

  That probably saved his life. Tessa’s confusion shifted to unabashed anger. She struggled to hold her irritation under control, but only succeeded in holding her breath until she saw spots.

  Tessa couldn't stand any longer. Sinking into the worn cushions of the couch behind her, Tessa pressed her fist into her stomach. She felt she’d been punched through her gut to her back. What was going on?

  Her anger seemed justified. Why would JJ be partners with Jillian? What did he have to gain? Had the changes been his idea? Had he pushed to change Jillian and succeeded where Tessa had failed?

  Her anger faded and she suddenly felt like she’d been slapped down, filled with fatigue. She had no idea what was going on. She just wanted to... what? Take a nap?

  Her mom had been business partners with JJ. Which meant... Now Tessa was business partners with JJ.

  Why did she feel like things had gone from bad to worse?

  Chapter 6

  JJ

  JJ’s announcement slathered the room in awkwardness. He shifted, uncomfortable with taking Tessa by surprise. There was no other way to tell her though. Suddenly announcing a partnership with him when she had done everything in her power to get away from him seven years before was obviously an ambush. No matter what, JJ hadn’t been looking forward to making the announcement.

  He tucked his fingers into the top of his pockets and rolled back on his heels. “Well, think about it. I'm not sure...” He pressed his lips together and glanced to the side and then back at her. He still couldn't believe how amazing she looked. “One way or the other, we need to get the ball running. We can either make money to plump the books for it to sell or we need to make money to pay the capital.” He took a step back, half turning towards the stairs.

  The memories of holding her, being with her, his proposal, their engagement, everything crashed around him. His shoulders tightened and he wished he really had recovered from the pain of that abandonment. He thought he had escaped everything after all the time he spent with Jillian and the majority of the pain disappearing over the years – or so he’d thought.

  He tossed over his shoulder, “I'll see you at the funeral.” So many of their late nights as teenagers had been right there in that living room, on that worn couch where their son sat. JJ didn’t need to go back to where Tessa’s room had been to remember the Rainbow Brite bedding and the dollhouse Tessa had never had the heart to get rid of because her mom had worked so hard to get them for her.

  How many times had they had pizza at the small table in the corner of the kitchen? Or done dishes together at the counter? So many nights had been spent just cuddling on the couch while Jillian had worked down at the bar. Time with Tessa had been guaranteed and he’d loved spending so much with her.

  Focus on the funeral. Focus on what the door closing meant to JJ and his business and what it meant to Tessa. Would she stay in town? Would he be able to seek something with Nathan? The uncertainties surrounding the situation unnerved him and he almost missed Tessa’s next words.

  “I... but when is that?” She met his gaze with a challenge when he glanced back at her. Had she really just said she didn’t know when the funeral was?

  “The funeral? It’s tomorrow at ten down at the church. Didn’t you get the announcement?” He narrowed his eyes. He’d sent the card to the same PO Box he’d sent the notice of Jillian’s death. Maybe the post was slower getting to Austin from Bride.
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  “No... I mean, I didn’t get that. I got the letter stating she’d died and we left immediately. I wasn’t sure when the funeral would be. I guess... I guess I naturally assumed I would have to plan that.” She chewed on her lower lip, obviously torn between relief that she wouldn’t have to plan it and guilt that she hadn’t. “It’s all happening a little fast. I wasn’t... I mean, I’m just not completely sure I was prepared for it. That’s all.” She lifted her chin, trying to hide the vulnerability.

  JJ respected her attempt to appear tougher than she was. Tessa was tough and he didn’t need her to prove it to him. “Don’t worry about it. Jillian was my business partner, but she was also my friend. I made the arrangements. I was happy to do so.” He hadn’t been sure Tessa would return and he couldn’t leave Jillian without a service. He turned back toward the stairs. He didn’t want to linger in Jillian’s house with Tessa so close, with his son so close.

  “I can take over. It’s... if you want me to finish it, I can.” Her lower lip trembled but her gaze didn’t waiver.

  “Nah, like I said, it’s almost done. We’ll see you there.” He lifted his hand and moved to turn, looking down the stairs, longing for escape from the memories tied to her and his pain.

  “JJ...” His name on her lips was hesitant, unsure. He closed his eyes and relished the sound, for just a moment before pausing and looking back at her.

  Something passed between them, and he wasn't sure what it was. He wasn’t sure how to define it when he wasn’t sure if the onslaught of emotions came from resurfacing anger at her abandonment, sadness at the loss of his friend, or desire because... Tessa was Tessa and he’d always crave her.

  Her question came almost as a whisper, creeping across the space between him. “How did Mom die?” Tessa didn't move from the couch as she stared at him, her hands tucked beneath her thighs.

  Once again, JJ was left trying to fix everything for her, even while she was there.

  He shifted his feet, shuffling only minutely until he reached the wall across from her, feet from the landing. He didn’t want to make any sudden movements and break the feeling of the moment.

  JJ leaned back, his shoulder blades resting against the wood panels of the wall. “Actually...” How blunt did he go? It was Tessa. She wasn’t afraid of words. She’d always been afraid of repeating history. “Jillian had a heart attack in the bar. She was stocking. We think that’s what happened because a broken bottle of Jack was on the floor next to her. The bartender found her.” He looked down at the floor, avoiding her gaze and Nathan's. “The bartender quit after that. He couldn't handle it. Jillian had been like a mom to him. He said he couldn’t go in the Refill and not see her on the ground.”

  He looked up to Tessa, expecting to see her crying or showing some kind of emotion. Instead, her dry-eyed, stony expression as she nodded hammered something deep in his soul. After a minute, she raised bright eyes to his. “Mom never met Nathan.” Was she happy or upset about that fact?

  Personally, he found everything about the situation tragic.

  The sadness overwhelmed JJ. “She only mentioned him in passing. Like wondering if you'd had him, wondering what he looked like.” He glanced at Nathan, glad to see he looked exactly like JJ's picture growing up. He didn't know how, but he would fight for an opportunity to get to know his son better. “I'm really sorry about your loss.”

  “It feels like you were closer to her than I was. I’m sorry for your loss.” Tessa put her hands on her knees and pushed up. Standing, she pushed her hair back over her shoulder, the wet tendrils clinging heavily to her shirt. “It's not your problem anyway. I'll deal with it, just like I deal with everything.” The wattage of her smile was overly bright and she half-shrugged his direction.

  JJ nodded tightly. The woman was infuriating, but she was right. Nothing about Jillian’s death was really his problem.

  Tessa wasn't his problem.

  Jillian wasn't his problem.

  The only things he had a legal right to claim as his own was half of Refill and Nathan.

  Yet, even knowing those irrefutable facts, JJ wouldn’t let his concern for any of them wane. Sure, Tessa wasn’t his, but he still wanted to worry about her. He hadn’t stopped – even when she’d chosen to leave. And like it or not, they were family. Tessa was the mother of his son. Jillian was his son's grandmother.

  There was a lot more tying them together than the business.

  None of it had anything to do with being a problem and everything to do with being family and doing what was right.

  He left the apartment and didn’t look back. Everything had been left unsaid... his heart demanded that he turn around and try to find closure, if nothing else. But, his pride held his back straight and his stride long and confident. Nothing would keep him from finalizing the funeral plans for Tessa's mom.

  And nothing was going to be able to stop him from wanting Tessa for his problem.

  Chapter 7

  Tessa

  Tessa didn’t loosen her smile as JJ left the apartment. His footsteps echoed down the stairs and out the door. The sudden dimming in the room as he disappeared left her feeling gloomier than she’d been before.

  What was she supposed to tell Nathan? The partnership in the bar had come at the right time. She’d lost her job and her place in Austin. Now she had her mom’s place to run and an apartment, as well as someone else invested in the business, so she wouldn’t sink or swim alone. But did she want to live in Bride? Did she want to deal with the sideways glances and the stares down the noses her way? What would she say when people saw her with a child and she wasn’t married? In the rest of the world, traditions had long since faded, but there in Bride, they held tight to respectability and what you’re supposed to do.

  She wasn’t sure she even knew what to do anymore. What if she was messing everything up?

  Turning to face Nathan, she held her expression fixed in place. “Well, it looks like we're not going back to Austin. We own the bar downstairs and we have a place to live. What do you think of that?” She kept the excitement on her face even though her stomach twisted with dread. She would be stuck there in Bride and have to be a spectator in JJ’s life.

  “Okay, Mom. Since we’re staying, can I change the Rainbow Brite in my room?” Hope filled Nathan's expression as he watched his mom with wide eyes.

  Tessa ruffled her son’s hair. “As soon as I get some extra money, we’ll go get you whatever you want to replace the decorations in that room. We can even paint it if you want to.” She worried she would always be bound by the confines of money. She’d never have enough. She’d always have to choose between feeding her son or paying the bills.

  She owned the Bar and Grill with JJ because her mom had been so financially strapped she had looked for a way to get out of it. Even owning a business, she’d been unable to unstrap herself. What was Tessa going to do?

  Nathan pulled a box of puzzle pieces from his backpack. He always accepted the simple answers she game him. He went with the flow and never added to her stress. Tessa wanted so much more for her son. She would have to figure things out. She could do it. Jillian hadn’t let her daughter down when raising her. Tessa had grown up with the ability to make do. Now she would make do and do better.

  Jillian. Tessa couldn’t believe she wouldn’t turn toward the kitchen and see her mom. No, even then wasn’t the time to deal with the emotions. Not with her son sitting beside her. Maybe at night, when she was alone she would be able to cope with the loss. Not then and not at the funeral. She had to hold it together. She could do it.

  The worst part of everything was Tessa couldn't even say goodbye. She had no idea what to do. She had nothing. Lost her house, lost her job, she had to leave Austin behind. Her claim to stay in Bride to Nathan hadn’t been a false hope. She had no where else to go.

  Bride hadn’t been her home in seven years. Austin was her home, but she couldn’t stay there. There she was making plans to stay in Bride because Austin hadn’t wante
d to keep her. She snorted under her breath. Like Austin was a person and could make that decision for her.

  But if the myths about Bride were true, the town had some luck attached to it for its residents. The town’s founder had been abandoned by her love and then she’d turned things around for herself and made a town out of it. Tessa wanted to do that. She wanted to make a life for herself and her son. She wanted to contribute to the town and she wanted respectability. Could she do that as a single mom running the bar? The fact that it was a bar and grill didn’t matter. It was still a bar.

  She wasn’t stuck to staying in Bride. It wasn't her only option. What if she sold the bar? She could get out of debt and start over somewhere. She could abandon all the stress that Jillian had left and any that she carried as her own baggage and make a new start somewhere else.

  Did she want to take Nathan somewhere new? There was a lot of history in Bride and she had been raised there. Going back to Austin wasn’t an option. Maybe she needed to think about it. Sleeping on it wouldn’t hurt anything.

  She stared out the small circular window above the couch past Nathan's head. Where would she go? She needed a good place to raise her son. There was no way she could wait until bedtime to make a decision. She’d never sleep.

  Glancing at Nathan, Tessa had to accept the fact that Bride was as good a place as any. If not better. The small population size kept the town safe. There would be plenty of ways for Nathan to broaden his horizons and develop his talents. Hopefully, he would be able to make friends with some of the other kids in town.

  JJ had said something about getting the bar open again. How soon had he meant? Would she be able to deal with going over business agreements with JJ? Not right then. She couldn’t imagine being in the same room as him for a few hours at the least. She could barely breathe since he’d left after only a few minutes.

  Mom’s funeral was the next day. Could Tessa deal with Jillian’s loss, say goodbye, and then open the bar the next night? She hadn’t dealt with the emotional side of returning to Bride just yet, not to mention dealing with Mom’s death. What was she doing? She was going to lose it and she didn’t know when.