Baron Trump's Marvelous Underground Journey

by Ingersoll Lockwood

  BARON TRUMP'S

  MARVELOUS UNDERGROUND JOURNEY

  By

  INGERSOLL LOCKWOOD

  ILLUSTRATED BY

  CHARLES HOWARD JOHNSON

  This edition published by Dreamscape Media LLC, 2017

  www.dreamscapeab.com * info@dreamscapeab.com

  1417 Timberwolf Drive, Holland, OH 43528

  877.983.7326

  About Ingersoll Lockwood:

  Ingersoll Lockwood (1841-1918), born in Ossining, New York, was an American lawyer and fiction writer. His writings often mixed fantasy and science fiction, even at a time before the use of commonly adhered-to distinctions between these modes of the fantastic, in a way that anticipated L. Frank Baum’s Oz books. Lockwood’s sequence comprises The Travels and Adventures of Little Baron Trump and His Wonderful Dog Bulger (1890) and Baron Trump's Marvellous Underground Journey (1893), the latter being a fantastic voyage into the “hollow earth,” where the surreal domains of various peoples are found, including the Transparent Folk and the Rattlebrains. The Extraordinary Experiences of Little Captain Dopplekop on the Shores of Bubblehead (1892) and Wonderful Deeds and Doings of Little Giant Boab and His Talking Raven Tabib (1891), both of which are similar to the Baron Trump books, also involved fantastic voyages. Lockwood also published 1900: Or, the Last President (1896), a political satire.

  Source: Encyclopedia of Science Fiction: http://www.sf-encyclopedia.com/

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  Biographical Notice

  Illustrations

  Chapter 1

  BULGER IS GREATLY ANNOYED BY THE FAMILIARITY OF THE VILLAGE DOGS AND THE PRESUMPTION OF THE HOUSE CATS. — HIS HEALTH SUFFERS THEREBY, AND HE IMPLORES ME TO SET OUT ON MY TRAVELS AGAIN. I READILY CONSENT, FOR I HAD BEEN READING OF THE WORLD WITHIN A WORLD IN A MUSTY OLD MS. WRITTEN BY THE LEARNED DON FUM. — PARTING INTERVIEWS WITH THE ELDER BARON AND THE GRACIOUS BARONESS MY MOTHER. — PREPARATIONS FOR DEPARTURE.

  Chapter 2

  DON FUM’S MYSTERIOUS DIRECTIONS. — BULGER AND I SET OUT FOR PETERSBURG, AND THENCE PROCEED TO ARCHANGEL. — THE STORY OF OUR JOURNEY AS FAR AS ILITCH ON THE ILITCH. — IVAN THE TEAMSTER.— HOW WE MADE OUR WAY NORTHWARD IN SEARCH OF THE PORTALS TO THE WORLD WITHIN A WORLD. — IVAN’S THREAT. — BULGER’S DISTRUST OF THE MAN AND OTHER THINGS.

  Chapter 3

  IVAN MORE AND MORE TROUBLESOME. — BULGER WATCHES HIM CLOSELY. — HIS COWARDLY ATTACK UPON ME. — MY FAITHFUL BULGER TO THE RESCUE. — A DRIVER WORTH HAVING. — HOW I WAS CARRIED TO A PLACE OF SAFETY. — IN THE HANDS OF OLD YULIANA. — THE GIANTS’ WELL.

  Chapter 4

  MY WOUND HEALS. — YULIANA TALKS ABOUT THE GIANTS’ WELL. — I RESOLVE TO VISIT IT. — PREPARATIONS TO ASCEND THE MOUNTAINS. — WHAT HAPPENED TO YULIANA AND TO ME. — REFLECTION AND THEN ACTION. — HOW I CONTRIVED TO CONTINUE THE ASCENT WITHOUT YULIANA FOR A GUIDE.

  Chapter 5

  UP AND STILL UP, AND THROUGH THE QUARRIES OF THE DEMONS. — HOW THE CATTLE KEPT THE TRAIL, AND HOW WE CAME AT LAST UPON THE BRINK OF THE GIANTS’ WELL. — THE TERRACES ARE SAFELY PASSED. — BEGINNING OF THE DESCENT INTO THE WELL ITSELF. — ALL DIFFICULTIES OVERCOME. — WE REACH THE EDGE OF POLYPHEMUS’ FUNNEL.

  Chapter 6

  MY DESPAIR UPON FINDING THE PIPE OF THE FUNNEL TOO SMALL FOR MY BODY. — A RAY OF HOPE BREAKS IN UPON ME. — FULL ACCOUNT OF HOW I SUCCEEDED IN ENTERING THE PIPE OF THE FUNNEL. — MY PASSAGE THROUGH IT. — BULGER’S TIMELY AID. — THE MARBLE HIGHWAY AND SOME CURIOUS THINGS CONCERNING THE ENTRANCE TO THE WORLD WITHIN A WORLD.

  Chapter 7

  OUR FIRST NIGHT IN THE UNDER WORLD, AND HOW IT WAS FOLLOWED BY THE FIRST BREAK OF DAY. — BULGER’S WARNING AND WHAT IT MEANT. — WE FALL IN WITH AN INHABITANT OF THE WORLD WITHIN A WORLD. — HIS NAME AND CALLING. — MYSTERIOUS RETURN OF NIGHT. — THE LAND OF BEDS, AND HOW OUR NEW FRIEND PROVIDED ONE FOR US.

  Chapter 8

  “GOOD-MORNING AS LONG AS IT LASTS.” — PLAIN TALK FROM MASTER COLD SOUL. — WONDERS OF GOGGLE LAND. — WE ENTER THE CITY OF THE MIKKAMENKIES. — BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF IT. — OUR APPROACH TO THE ROYAL PALACE. — QUEEN GALAXA AND HER CRYSTAL THRONE. — MASTER COLD SOUL’S TEARS.

  Chapter 9

  BULGER AND I ARE PRESENTED TO QUEEN GALAXA, THE LADY OF THE CRYSTAL THRONE. — HOW SHE RECEIVED US. — HER DELIGHT OVER BULGER, WHO GIVES PROOF OF HIS WONDERFUL INTELLIGENCE IN MANY WAYS. — HOW THE QUEEN CREATES HIM LORD BULGER. — ALL ABOUT THE THREE WISE MEN IN WHOSE CARE WE ARE PLACED BY QUEEN GALAXA.

  Chapter 10

  A BRIEF ACCOUNT OF MY CONVERSATIONS WITH DOCTOR NEBULOSUS, SIR AMBER O’PAKE, AND LORD CORNUCORE, WHO TELL ME MANY THINGS THAT I NEVER KNEW BEFORE, FOR WHICH I WAS VERY GRATEFUL.

  Chapter 11

  PLEASANT DAYS PASSED AMONG THE MIKKAMENKIES, AND WONDERFUL THINGS SEEN BY US. — THE SPECTRAL GARDEN, AND A DESCRIPTION OF IT.—OUR MEETING WITH DAMOZEL GLOW STONE, AND WHAT CAME OF IT.

  Chapter 12

  THE SAD, SAD TALE OF THE SORROWING PRINCESS WITH A SPECK IN HER HEART, AND WHAT ALL HAPPENED WHEN SHE HAD ENDED IT, WHICH THE READER MUST READ FOR HIMSELF IF HE WOULD KNOW.

  Chapter 13

  HOW I SET TO WORK TO UNDO A WRONG THAT HAD BEEN DONE IN THE KINGDOM OF THE MIKKAMENKIES, AND HOW BULGER HELPED. — QUEEN GALAXA’S CONFESSION. — I AM CREATED PRIME MINISTER AS LONG AS SHE LIVES. — WHAT TOOK PLACE IN THE THRONE ROOM. — MY SPEECH TO THE MEN OF GOGGLE LAND AFTER WHICH I SHOW THEM SOMETHING WORTH SEEING. — HOW I WAS PULLED IN TWO DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS AND WHAT CAME OF IT.

  Chapter 14

  BULGER AND I TURN OUR BACKS ON THE FAIR DOMAIN OF QUEEN CRYSTALLINA. — NATURE’S WONDERFUL SPEAKING-TUBE. — CRYSTALLINA’S ATTEMPT TO TURN US BACK. — HOW I KEPT BULGER FROM YIELDING. — SOME INCIDENTS OF OUR JOURNEY ALONG THE MARBLE HIGHWAY, AND HOW WE CAME TO THE GLORIOUS GATEWAY OF SOLID SILVER.

  Chapter 15

  THE GUARDS AT THE SILVER GATEWAY. — WHAT THEY WERE LIKE. — OUR RECEPTION BY THEM. — I MAKE A WONDERFUL DISCOVERY. — THE WORLD’S FIRST TELEPHONE. — BULGER AND I SUCCEED IN MAKING FRIENDS WITH THESE STRANGERS. — A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE SOODOPSIES, THAT IS, MAKE BELIEVE EYES, OR THE FORMIFOLK, THAT IS, ANT PEOPLE. — HOW A BLIND MAN MAY READ YOUR WRITING.

  Chapter 16

  IDEAS OF THE FORMIFOLK CONCERNING OUR UPPER WORLD. — THE DANCING SPECTRE. — THEIR EFFORTS TO LAY HOLD OF HIM. — MY SOLEMN PROMISE THAT HE SHOULD BEHAVE HIMSELF. — WE SET OUT FOR THE CITY OF THE MAKE-BELIEVE EYES. — MY AMAZEMENT AT THE MAGNIFICENCE OF THE APPROACHES TO IT. — WE REACH THE GREAT BRIDGE OF SILVER, AND I GET MY FIRST GLANCE OF THE CITY OF CANDELABRA. — BRIEF ACCOUNT OF THE WONDERS SPREAD OUT BEFORE MY EYES. — EXCITEMENT OCCASIONED BY OUR ARRIVAL. — OUR SILVER BED-CHAMBER.

  Chapter 17

  IN WHICH YOU READ, DEAR FRIENDS, SOMETHING ABOUT A LIVE ALARM CLOCK AND A SOODOPSY BATHER AND RUBBER. — OUR FIRST BREAKFAST IN THE CITY OF SILVER. — A NEW WAY TO CATCH FISH WITHOUT HURTING THEIR FEELINGS. — HOW THE STREETS AND HOUSES WERE NUMBERED, AND WHERE THE SIGNBOARDS WERE. — A VERY ORIGINAL LIBRARY IN WHICH BOOKS NEVER GET DOG-EARED. — HOW VELVET SOLES ENJOYED HER FAVORITE POETS. — I AM PRESENTED TO THE LEARNED BARREL BROW, WHO PROCEEDS TO GIVE ME HIS VIEWS OF THE UPPER WORLD. — THEY ENTERTAINED ME AMAZINGLY AND MAY INTEREST YOU.

  Chapter 18

  EARLY HISTORY OF THE SOODOPSIES AS RELATED BY BARREL BROW. — HOW THEY WERE DRIVEN TO TAKE REFUGE IN THE UNDER WORLD, AND HOW THEY CAME UPON THE MARBLE HIGHWAY. — THEIR DISCOVERY OF NATURAL GAS WHICH YIELDS THEM LIGHT AND WARMTH, AND OF NATURE’S MAGNIFICENT TREASURE HOUSE. — HOW THEY REPLACED THEIR TATTERED GARMENTS AND BEGAN TO BUILD THE CITY OF SILVER. — THE STRANGE MISFORTUNES THAT CAME UPON THEM, AND HOW THEY ROSE SUPERIOR TO THEM, TERRIBLE AS
THEY WERE.

  Chapter 19

  BEGINS WITH SOMETHING ABOUT THE LITTLE SOODOPSIES, BUT BRANCHES OFF ON ANOTHER SUBJECT; TO WIT: — THE SILENT SONG OF SINGING FINGERS, THE FAIR MAID OF THE CITY OF SILVER. — BARREL BROW IS KIND ENOUGH TO ENLIGHTEN ME ON A CERTAIN POINT, AND HE TAKES OCCASION TO PAY BULGER A VERY HIGH COMPLIMENT, WHICH, OF COURSE, HE DESERVED.

  Chapter 20

  THIS IS A LONG AND A SAD CHAPTER. — IT TELLS HOW DEAR, GENTLE, POUTING-LIP WAS LOST, AND HOW THE SOODOPSIES GRIEVED FOR HIM AND WHOM THEY SUSPECTED. — BULGER GIVES A STRIKING PROOF OF HIS WONDERFUL INTELLIGENCE WHICH ENABLES ME TO CONVINCE THE SOODOPSIES THAT MY “DANCING SPECTRE” DID NOT CAUSE POUTING-LIP’S DEATH. — THE TRUE TALE OF HIS TERRIBLE FATE. — WHAT FOLLOWS MY DISCOVERY. — HOW A BEAUTIFUL BOAT IS BUILT FOR ME BY THE GRATEFUL SOODOPSIES, AND HOW BULGER AND I BID ADIEU TO THE LAND OF THE MAKE-BELIEVE EYES.

  Chapter 21

  HOW WE WERE LIGHTED ON OUR WAY DOWN THE DARK AND SILENT RIVER. — SUDDEN AND FIERCE ONSLAUGHT UPON OUR BEAUTIFUL BOAT OF SHELL. — A FIGHT FOR LIFE AGAINST TERRIBLE ODDS, AND HOW BULGER STOOD BY ME THROUGH IT ALL. — COLD AIR AND LUMPS OF ICE. — OUR ENTRY INTO THE CAVERN WHENCE THEY CAME. — THE BOAT OF SHELL COMES TO THE END OF ITS VOYAGE. — SUNLIGHT IN THE WORLD WITHIN A WORLD, AND ALL ABOUT THE WONDERFUL WINDOW THROUGH WHICH IT POURED, AND THE MYSTERIOUS LAND IT LIGHTED.

  Chapter 22

  THE PALACE OF ICE IN THE GOLDEN SUNLIGHT, AND WHAT I IMAGINED IT MIGHT CONTAIN. — HOW WE WERE HALTED BY A COUPLE OF QUAINTLY CLAD SENTINELS. — THE KOLTYKWERPS. — HIS FRIGID MAJESTY KING GELIDUS. — MORE ABOUT THE ICE PALACE, TOGETHER WITH A DESCRIPTION OF THE THRONE-ROOM. — OUR RECEPTION BY THE KING AND HIS DAUGHTER SCHNEEBOULE. — BRIEF MENTION OF BULLIBRAIN, OR LORD HOT HEAD.

  Chapter 23

  LORD HOT HEAD AGAIN, AND THIS TIME A FULLER ACCOUNT OF HIM. — HIS WONDROUS TALES CONCERNING THE KOLTYKWERPS: WHERE THEY CAME FROM, WHO THEY WERE, AND HOW THEY MANAGED TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD OF ETERNAL FROST. — THE MANY QUESTIONS I PUT TO HIM, AND HIS ANSWERS IN FULL.

  Chapter 24

  SOME FEW THINGS CONCERNING THE DEAR LITTLE PRINCESS SCHNEEBOULE. — HOW SHE AND I BECAME FAST FRIENDS, AND HOW ONE DAY SHE CONDUCTED BULGER AND ME INTO HER FAVORITE GROTTO TO SEE THE LITTLE MAN WITH THE FROZEN SMILE. — SOMETHING ABOUT HIM. — WHAT CAME OF MY HAVING LOOKED UPON HIM QUITE FULLY DESCRIBED.

  Chapter 25

  A SLEEPLESS NIGHT FOR BULGER AND ME AND WHAT FOLLOWED IT. — INTERVIEW WITH KING GELIDUS. — MY REQUEST AND HIS REPLY. — WHAT ALL TOOK PLACE WHEN I LEARNED THAT THE KING AND HIS COUNCILLORS HAD DECIDED NOT TO GRANT MY REQUEST. — STRANGE TUMULT AMONG THE KOLTYKWERPS, AND HOW HIS FRIGID MAJESTY STILLED IT, AND SOME OTHER THINGS.

  Chapter 26

  HOW THE QUARRY MEN OF KING GELIDUS CLEFT ASUNDER THE CRYSTAL PRISON OF THE LITTLE MAN WITH THE FROZEN SMILE. — MY BITTER DISAPPOINTMENT, AND HOW I BORE IT. — WONDERFUL HAPPENINGS OF THE NIGHT THAT FOLLOWED. — BULGER AGAIN PROVES HIMSELF TO BE AN ANIMAL OF EXTRAORDINARY SAGACITY.

  Chapter 27

  EXCITEMENT OVER FUFFCOOJAH. — I CARRY HIM TO THE COURT OF KING GELIDUS. — HIS INSTANT AFFECTION FOR PRINCESS SCHNEEBOULE. — I AM ACCUSED OF EXERCISING THE BLACK ART. — MY DEFENCE AND MY REWARD. — ANXIETY OF THE KOLTYKWERPS LEST FUFFCOOJAH PERISH OF HUNGER. — THIS CALAMITY AVERTED, ANOTHER STARES US IN THE FACE: HOW TO KEEP HIM FROM FREEZING TO DEATH. — I SOLVE THE PROBLEM, BUT DRAW UPON ME A STRANGE MISFORTUNE.

  Chapter 28

  HOW A LITTLE BURDEN MAY GROW TO BE A GRIEVOUS ONE. — STORY OF A MAN WITH A MONKEY IN HIS HOOD. — MY TERRIBLE SUFFERING. — CONCERNING THE AWFUL PANIC THAT SEIZED UPON THE KOLTYKWERPS. — MY VISIT TO THE DESERTED ICE-PALACE, AND WHAT HAPPENED TO FUFFCOOJAH. — END OF HIS BRIEF BUT STRANGE CAREER. — A FROZEN KISS ON A BLADE OF HORN, OR HOW SCHNEEBOULE CHOSE A HUSBAND.

  Chapter 29

  SOMETHING CONCERNING THE MANY PORTALS TO THE ICY DOMAIN OF KING GELIDUS AND THE DIFFICULT TASK OF CHOOSING THE RIGHT ONE. — HOW BULGER SOLVED IT. — OUR FAREWELL TO THE COLD-BLOODED KOLTYKWERPS. — SCHNEEBOULE’S SORROW AT LOSING US.

  Chapter 30

  ALL ABOUT THE MOST TERRIBLE BUT MAGNIFICENT RIDE I EVER TOOK IN MY LIFE. — NINETY MILES ON THE BACK OF A FLYING MASS OF ICE, AND HOW BULGER AND I WERE LANDED AT LAST ON THE BANKS OF A MOST WONDERFUL RIVER. — HOW THE DAY BROKE IN THIS UNDER WORLD.

  Chapter 31

  IN WHICH YOU READ OF THE GLORIOUS CAVERNS OF WHITE MARBLE FRONTING ON THE WONDERFUL RIVER. — IN THE TROPICS OF THE UNDER WORLD. — HOW WE CAME UPON A SOLITARY WANDERER ON THE BANKS OF THE RIVER. MY CONVERSATION WITH HIM, AND MY JOY AT FINDING MYSELF IN THE LAND OF THE RATTLEBRAINS, OR HAPPY FORGETTERS. — BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THEM.

  Chapter 32

  HOW WE ENTERED THE LAND OF THE HAPPY FORGETTERS. — SOMETHING MORE ABOUT THESE CURIOUS FOLK. — THEIR DREAD OF BULGER AND ME. — ONLY A STAY OF ONE DAY ACCORDED US. — DESCRIPTION OF THE PLEASANT HOMES OF THE HAPPY FORGETTERS. — THE REVOLVING DOOR THROUGH WHICH BULGER AND I ARE UNCEREMONIOUSLY SET OUTSIDE OF THE DOMAIN OF THE RATTLEBRAINS. — ALL ABOUT THE EXTRAORDINARY THINGS WHICH HAPPENED TO BULGER AND ME THEREAFTER. — ONCE MORE IN THE OPEN AIR OF THE UPPER WORLD, AND THEN HOMEWARD BOUND.

  BIOGRAPHICAL NOTICE OF

  WILHELM HEINRICH SEBASTIAN VON TROOMP

  COMMONLY CALLED

  LITTLE BARON TRUMP

  As doubting Thomases seem to take particular pleasure in popping up on all occasions, Jack-in-the-Box-like, it may be well to head them off in this particular instance by proving that Baron Trump was a real baron, and not a mere baron of the mind. The family was originally French Huguenot — De la Trompe — which, upon the revocation of the Edict of Nantes in 1685, took refuge in Holland, where its head assumed the name of Van der Troomp, just as many other of the French Protestants rendered their names into Dutch. Some years later, upon the invitation of the Elector of Brandenburg, Niklas Van der Troomp became a subject of that prince, and purchased a large estate in the province of Pomerania, again changing his name, this time to Von Troomp.

  The “Little Baron,” so called from his diminutive stature, was born some time in the latter part of the seventeenth century. He was the last of his race in the direct line, although cousins of his are today well-known Pomeranian gentry. He began his travels at an incredibly early age, and filled his castle with such strange objects picked up here and there in the far away corners of the world, that the simple-minded peasantry came to look upon him as half bigwig and half magician—hence the growth of the many myths and fanciful stories concerning this indefatigable globe-trotter. The date of his death cannot be fixed with any certainty; but this much may be said: Among the portraits of Pomeranian notables hanging in the Rathhaus at Stettin, there is one picturing a man of low stature, and with a head much too large for his body. He is dressed in some outlandish costume, and holds in his left hand a grotesque image in ivory, most elaborately carved. The broad face is full of intelligence, and the large gray eyes are lighted up with a good-natured but quizzical look that invariably attracts attention. The man’s right hand rests upon the back of a dog sitting on a table and looking straight out with an air of dignity that shows that he knew he was sitting for his portrait.

  If a visitor asks the guide who this man is, he always gets for answer: —

  “Oh, that’s the Little Baron!”

  But little Baron who, that’s the question?

  Why may it not be the famous Wilhelm Heinrich Sebastian von Troomp, commonly called “Little Baron Trump,” and his wonderful dog Bulger?

  Illustrations

  Only Authentic Portrait of Wilhelm Heinrich Sebastian von Troomp (from the oil painting)

  Departure from Castle Trump

  Along a Highway of the Under World

  Before her Majesty Galaxa, Queen of the Mikkamenkies

  A Dinner easily provided for

  Princess Crystallina uncovers her Heart

  Crystallina’s Heart on a Screen

  Bulger parts his Master from Princess Crystallina

  The Formifolk tr
y the Beat of the Baron’s Heart by Telephone

  Barrel Brow engaged in reading Four Books at once

  A Soodopsy Maiden reading her Favorite Poet

  The Gigantic Tortoise that devoured Pouting Lip

  Sailing away from the Land of the Soodopsies

  The Battle for Life with the White Crabs

  The Little Man with the Frozen Smile

  Bulger shows the Baron Something Wonderful

  The Baron’s Flight to the Ice Palace

  Death of Fuffcoojah

  Koltykwerpian Quarrymen hewing a Passage the the Wall of Ice

  The Wonderful Ride on the Block of Ice

  The Tropics of the Under World

  Through the Revolving Door

  Caught up in the Arms of the Torrent

  Hurled out in the Sunshine

  Chapter 1

  BULGER IS GREATLY ANNOYED BY THE FAMILIARITY OF THE VILLAGE DOGS AND THE PRESUMPTION OF THE HOUSE CATS. — HIS HEALTH SUFFERS THEREBY, AND HE IMPLORES ME TO SET OUT ON MY TRAVELS AGAIN. I READILY CONSENT, FOR I HAD BEEN READING OF THE WORLD WITHIN A WORLD IN A MUSTY OLD MS. WRITTEN BY THE LEARNED DON FUM. — PARTING INTERVIEWS WITH THE ELDER BARON AND THE GRACIOUS BARONESS MY MOTHER. — PREPARATIONS FOR DEPARTURE.

  Bulger was not himself at all, dear friends. There was a lack-lustre look in his eyes, and his tail responded with only a half-hearted wag when I spoke to him. I say half-hearted, for I always had a notion that the other end of Bulger’s tail was fastened to his heart. His appetite, too, had gone down with his spirits; and he rarely did anything more than sniff at the dainty food which I set before him, although I tried to tempt him with fried chickens’ livers and toasted cocks’ combs — two of his favorite dishes.

  There was evidently something on his mind, and yet it never occurred to me what that something was; for to be honest about it, it was something which of all things I never should have dreamed of finding there.

  Possibly I might have discovered at an earlier day what it was all about, had it not been that just at this time I was very busy, too busy, in fact, to pay much attention to anyone, even to my dear four-footed foster brother. As you may remember, dear friends, my brain is a very active one; and when once I become interested in a subject, Castle Trump itself might take fire and burn until the legs of my chair had become charred before I would hear the noise and confusion, or even smell the smoke.