Upheaval!

by Deborah Martin

  All this time I believed I didn’t get hangovers because I was careful with my drinking. But the more I thought about it, the more I remembered times that I hadn’t drunk any water and still hadn’t gotten a hangover. He was correct and I admitted as much.

  “Alcohol is a poison. Where your human friends may have a whopping hangover after only five or six drinks, it takes a lot more for the poison to overpower your system. Naturally, it all depends on body size, metabolism, et cetera but…”

  “I see what you’re saying,” I cut him off. “But can’t you come up with something else? I have friends who get spring or fall allergies and I don’t want to be that miserable.”

  “Sorry,” he said with a wry grin. “I honestly did think on it during the whole drive up here but that was my best shot. Unless you have another idea…”

  I didn’t. “This totally sucks. You’re sure it’ll be short-term?”

  “I promise. You will feel fine before you go to sleep.”

  “Okay,” I sighed. “Then go for it. Let’s get it over with.”

  Gregory opened the door and after peering out at the street, presumably to ensure he wasn’t being watched, moved his hands around. It looked like he was pulling water toward himself, sort of like you do when you’re splashing yourself in the tub. I felt a breeze stir my hair, even though the trees outside gave no hint of wind. A cloud of dust gathered in front of him. With an exclamation, he turned and pushed the cloud my way.

  Fudge sneezed, then so did I. Again. And again. My head felt like one of my stuffed animals - filled with batting. My eyes itched and started watering. I ran over to the tissue box so cleverly built into the sink vanity and used half of it, trying to clear my nose.

  “I feel awful,” I moaned.

  “I’m so sorry,” Tony put his arm around me. “I had allergies before I was turned and remember how miserable they were. At least yours will be short-lived.”

  “Oh, that’s a consolation. How do people deal with this year after year?” I sneezed and blew my nose again.

  “Put her to bed,” Gregory told him. “These types of hotels don’t have room service so I’m going to go see where we can get dinner from. Call me when we get a note.”

  Tony got my nightgown out of my case and helped me into bed. He even brought the box of tissues over to the bedside table after filling the litter box, food and water dishes. He and Fudge arranged themselves to either side of me and we all lay there, watching inane afternoon television.

  Without anything to capture my attention and my eyes wanting to close anyways, I fell asleep at some point. The next thing I knew, I was being jostled awake.

  “Doll, the next note just popped in,” Tony’s voice said as I felt a rough tongue licking my nose. That didn’t feel so good on a spot sore from using so much cheap tissue earlier. I pushed Fudge aside, sat up and blew my nose yet again.

  “Ow. Gregory had better be good at healing, too. My nose feels like I’ve peeled about five layers of skin off,” I whined.

  “Only a little longer. I promise. Read the note while I call Gregory.”

  Miss McCollum,

  At ten o’clock, you alone will drive the money to the drop point. Turn right out of your motel and continue straight through the light to downtown. Follow the signs for Routes 60/9/19 north. Approximately eight miles from town as Route 60 splits off, you will see the entrance to R Ranch on your left. Drop the bag next to the left pillar of the gate and return to your hotel. Once we’ve verified the contents, we will let you know where to find your employer. No hair or other tracking devices this time or you will be retrieving a dead body.

  Tony let Gregory in as I read.

  “My eyes are watering so badly I can’t see much of the television, let alone drive,” I griped. “Your nasty ploy worked, Gregory, but how do we tell them?”

  “It will be pizza for dinner,” he said as he arranged himself in one of the two chairs at the tiny table. “If everything is working as usual, you should be able to write your reply as you did with the original note and it will return to them.”

  “Okay. How much longer do I have to be sick?”

  “Until we get their answer, I’d think. We need to ensure they know you’re really sick. May I see the note, please?”

  I handed it to him and after a moment, he said, “Whoever sent this got careful again. No signature this time. Damn.” He gave the note back to me saying, “Here’s what you write.”

  I grabbed the pen from the bedside table and took his dictation:

  I can’t drive anywhere tonight. I have a cold or something and am too sick. Will you accept delivery from Gregory or Tony? Amy

  Without meaning to, I sneezed on the paper just as I was signing my name. The paper disappeared with the last stroke of the Y.

  “Beautiful touch,” Gregory exclaimed.

  “I couldn’t help myself,” I pointed out.

  “I know but that parchment is now damp and it will just emphasize the fact that you’re sick. I know you want the all-meat special, Tony but Amy, what do you like on your pizza?”

  I didn’t have much of an appetite and said so. “Once again, I will remind you that you need to eat,” Gregory admonished.

  “I know what you said. I just feel like shit and want to go back to sleep. I usually get a vegetarian pizza.”

  “I can eat either so I will order one meat and one vegetarian. Have a snooze while we wait for delivery of both food and the next note. I suspect they’re scrambling since we’ve put a monkey wrench into their timetable.”

  I settled back down then sat back up. “Make sure there’s enough so Fudge gets one slice.”

  Gregory looked at my cat, who stared back at him. “A cat eats pizza?” He laughed.

  “Just the sauce and cheese,” I said. “But we’ve always shared and I’m not going to stop now.”

  Gregory laughed again and looking at Fudge, said, “Not a problem, my friend. You will get your piece, too.”

  Fudge meowed in reply and we both snuggled back under the covers while Gregory called the number on the card he found on top of the television. Tony pulled out his phone and dialed. I drifted off to the sound of Gregory placing the order and Tony saying, “Jarvis, the drop point is someplace called R Ranch.”

  I awoke to a loud banging on the door. Whoever it was either didn’t know their own strength or thought the motel rooms were cavernous.

  “Damn, man. A simple rap would have been sufficient.” Gregory greeted the delivery guy, handed him some money and took possession of a couple of pizza boxes and a bag with soda bottles and something else in it. He placed it all on the table and gently closed the door.

  “Teenagers!” Gregory swore. “Insolent.”

  “Calm yourself, man,” Tony chided. “He looked like a linebacker. Probably didn’t know he was knocking so hard.”

  “Oh, I know. It just irritated me,” Gregory said as he got plastic cups off the vanity and after pouring a shot from a hip flask that magically appeared in his hand, filled the rest of each cup with tonic from one of the bottles in the bag. He handed a drink to me and Tony and took a swig from his.

  “Fudge gets the first slice,” I said.

  “I figured as much,” Tony said as he pulled paper plates and napkins out of the bag. Fudge hopped off the bed and nuzzled Tony’s leg as he duly put the first slice on a plate, then set it on the floor over by Fudge’s food dish. Fudge trotted behind him and immediately dug in, daintily picking off all the vegetables, being sure to eat every last iota of cheese off each one before setting them aside.

  The men watched him with interest while devouring their own dinner. “He’s so meticulous about everything,” Tony said while Gregory commented, “I’ve never seen a cat eating pizza!”

  Me? I was trying to chew and breathe at the same time. Given that I couldn’t breathe through my nose, I was having difficulty. The pizza didn’t taste like anything more than cardboard, either. I gave up after one slice and after blowing my nose yet a
gain, curled back under the bed covers.

  “How much longer?” I groused.

  “Don’t know,” Gregory said as he cleaned up, putting all the paper into the wastebasket and putting one box with a couple of uneaten slices on what passed for a dresser. “We need to ensure they’re positive you’re too sick to do anything tonight. Anything good on TV?”

  I resolved to sleep until I could be magically cured of this affliction, especially since Tony found a basketball game on one of the few channels the motel got. It figured. I felt like shit and the only thing on television to distract me was my least-favorite sport. Fudge resumed his position next to me and I fell asleep to his quiet purr.

  “Hey, Doll, wake up,” Tony whispered as he shook my shoulder. “The next note is here.”

  I groaned, sat up and sneezed. Loudly. Gregory stirred in the chair he’d fallen asleep in. As I blew my nose for the hundredth time in just a few hours, he reached over and grabbed both a piece of parchment and a bottle off the bed next to me.

  “Looks like it worked,” he chortled, holding the bottle up so I could see the label. “Nyquil” it read. Still laughing, he read the note out loud.

  We will NOT allow either the wizard or were to interfere any more than they already have. You have 24 hours to feel well enough to drive. Same instructions, tomorrow night.

  “Can I be made well, now?” I asked.

  “Give it a few more hours. I saw someone in the trees across the road awhile ago so I think this place is being watched,” Gregory was still chuckling. “Once they’re certain we’re all bedded down for the night, they will probably go away. Just as I pulled the pollen from outside, I need to put it back outside and I don’t want anyone seeing that. Let’s all pretend like we’re going to bed. I will return after midnight and do it then.”

  Great. I looked at the clock. Still at least another two hours of feeling miserable. “The sooner the better,” I said as Gregory left our room for his.

  “All for a good cause, Doll,” Tony tried to console me. “You bought us the time we need to hopefully find out where Ev is being held.”

  “Yeah, yeah. I’m a hero. This sucks,” I pouted as I slid back down under the covers, pulling the tissue box with me.

  “Go to sleep. I’ll wake you when Gregory comes back,” he answered, tucking me in as if I were a little kid.

  ***

  “It’s a good thing you don’t get sick. You make a terrible patient,” Gregory said to me several hours later as we stepped out of the hotel room onto the walkway.

  “What did you expect?” I retorted. “I’ve never been sick and you inflict that on me?”

  “All for a good cause.”

  “I know. Tony said the same thing. Can we get on with it?”

  There was just enough light from the dim lamps along the wall for me to see the glint in Gregory’s eyes. He was highly amused – at my expense. I would find a way to pay him back. Wait. No, I wouldn’t. This was all to save Ev. I’d get my pound of flesh from him once he was back safely.

  “You have to help with this one,” Gregory told me.

  “Huh?”

  “All that pollen is now residing in your body, causing the allergic reaction. I need you to envision all of it floating from your nose, sinuses and eyes, through your mucous membranes and blood vessels and gathering together in your throat. When I say ‘now’, cough hard.”

  “Are you sure we’re not being watched? I’m not real comfortable standing out here in the middle of the night in my pajamas.”

  “Yes, Tony and I both checked the area a few minutes ago. Do you want to get rid of this or not?”

  Did I! I closed my eyes and did as Gregory had instructed, envisioning all those little pollen bastards being rounded up and corralled until I felt a huge lump at the back of my throat. I heard “now” and opening my eyes, coughed as instructed.

  When I opened my eyes, I saw Gregory making a pulling motion toward him with both hands and tasted dust as I coughed out not just air, but a cloud. Gregory continued his pulling motion and the cloud followed his hands. With a grunt, he pushed the cloud toward the street. I could see it disperse before it got as far as the streetlights.

  “Feel any better?” he asked.

  I could breathe again! If I wasn’t concerned about making more of a spectacle of myself than I already had by being outside in my night dress, I would have whooped for joy. I took a long breath and let it out.

  “My eyes are still a little itchy and I still feel a little congested but I can breathe. Thank you.”

  “You should be right as rain in a few minutes. It will take a bit for the residual effects to wear off.”

  We heard Tony’s cell phone ring and almost jammed ourselves in the door, both trying to get in to hear at the same time. At this time of night, it could only be one person. Jarvis.

  “Yes. Yes. Wonderful. There’s a Waffle House down at the corner from our hotel. Meet you there at nine for breakfast? Good. See you then.” Tony smiled at us as he closed his phone.

  “Telling Jarvis about the R Ranch made things a lot easier. They found the abandoned mine Ev is being held in about six miles away from there. It’s currently being guarded by three dwarves and a were no one recognized so he’s a rogue.

  “As you heard, we’re meeting for breakfast at nine. Jarvis and his two lieutenants, who work for him, will take the day off and meet us. That’s only seven hours from now so I suggest we get what sleep we can.”

  “I didn’t realize they were going to help with the rescue, too,” Gregory said.

  “I arranged it with Jarvis the first time I spoke with him. I figured reinforcements might be necessary. And it’ll only cost us half the agreed-upon price. Jarvis is looking forward to taking care of the rogue himself. Feeling better, Doll?”

  I was feeling better by the minute and said so.

  “Let’s take Tony’s suggestion and get some sleep. I will collect you shortly before nine. I suggest wearing something comfortable enough for hiking. Good night.” Gregory closed our door behind him.

  “Doll, I need to warn you about something,” Tony said as he stripped to his shorts in preparation for bed.

  “What’s that?” I asked as I crawled back under the covers. Fudge stood expectantly on the floor next to the bed, ready to hop up and make his customary nest out of my hair.

  “I’m hoping it won’t get nasty but if it does, a were fight isn’t pretty and in this case, may be to the death. If the rogue doesn’t bow to Jarvis’ authority, the lieutenants will kill him. Since I know we can’t leave you behind, I thought I should prepare you for something ugly.”

  “What?” I almost screamed.

  “Shh. I know there’s no one in the room on the other side of us but you don’t need to wake the entire motel.”

  “What do you mean, to the death?” I said, a little more quietly.

  “What were you thinking? We’d march up to the mouth of the mine and they’d sweetly deliver Ev to us without argument? If it had been a normal kidnapping, we’d have already exchanged the money for Ev by now. But it’s not normal, is it? You heard Gregory the other day. Whoever it is, whether it’s this David person or not, isn’t playing by the rules. Adding a rogue were into the mix with the clan leader and his looeys involved just adds fuel to the fire.”

  “No, I didn’t expect them to hand Ev over without argument. I don’t know what I thought but bloodshed certainly wasn’t in any part of my imagination unless it was just a cut or a scrape from rocks. You’re certain about all this?” I shuddered.

  “That’s why it hurts me that we can’t leave you here while we go get Ev. I’ve been in a scrap or two and I’m certain Gregory has but you haven’t. There’s going to be a fight, Doll. I don’t know how bad of one but you need to prepare yourself for the worst.”

  “You couldn’t wait until morning to tell me, could you?” I shivered. Tony pulled me into his arms.

  “We won’t have much time in the morning and I wanted you t
o have some time to steel yourself.”

  “Great. Nice dreams you’re giving me, dog. Turn the television back on. I’m not sure I’m going to sleep much.”

  Tony reached over me for the remote and turned the television to cartoons. I laid my head on his shoulder while Fudge arranged my hair to his liking and after a couple of turns, flopped down against my back. Within minutes, both my guys were snoring softly. I kept company with Tom and Jerry until sometime later, my eyes finally closed.

  Chapter 9

  The following morning saw us sitting at the Waffle House, across the table from three rugged-looking men. The clan leader, Jarvis, could have been Tony’s brother: a little over six feet tall, built like a wide receiver with dark hair and eyes. They even looked a little alike, except Jarvis had some gray in his hair where Tony did not. What really separated the two was Jarvis’ thick southern accent. I found it difficult to understand him at times. The other two men’s speech was no different.

  Jarvis eyed me up and down. “You’re awfully small. Are you sure you want to go with us?”

  After Tony’s warning of violence the night before, I wasn’t certain I wanted any part of it. However, Ev was my boss/friend/family and I felt a certain obligation to do so. I didn’t trust my voice so simply nodded.

  “In that case, here’s how I think we should handle it.” Jarvis proceeded to describe the layout of the land, and explain that we were going to climb up the back of the hill and approach the mine from upslope which, today, would also be upwind.

  “Gregory, I’d like you to bind any magical types we may find. We’ll identify them for you by smell. Sam and I will deal with any weres. Tony, while we’re dealing with the outside guards, you and Jimmy go into the mine and take care of anybody there. You, little lady, stay upslope until one of us tells you it’s safe to come down. Is everyone clear?”

  We all nodded and rose as one. Gregory paid the bill at the cash register then we all trooped out to one of the largest pickup trucks I’d ever seen. It was big enough that all six of us could sit in the cab, although it was a little cramped because Gregory and I were the two smallest people and he was no shrimp. Two large leather satchels sat at our feet.