by Eva Scott
‘I’m back,’ she called. ‘I hope you left me some pizza.’
GoldfieldsGirl SAT @ 7:18 PM
Today I closed my family’s store. Ended its trading across three centuries and two millennia. I’m sitting on the floor eating leftover pizza. I have no idea what my future holds.
GardenerGuy94 SAT @ 7:20 PM
I’m sorry you have to go through this alone. I wish I was there with you, sitting on the floor eating leftover pizza. I’d have brought wine. Starting a new life is a big deal. Are you okay?
GoldfieldsGirl SAT @ 7:21 PM
I’m fine. My family and friends were here all day helping me. Everyone has gone home and it’s just me and the ghosts now. Do you think they’ll mind me turning the place into a doll-house factory?
GardenerGuy94 SAT @ 7:23 PM
A doll-house factory sounds charming. Yes, it’s a big shift from hardware but when they see how special your creations are, they’ll fall in love. Like the rest of us.
GoldfieldsGirl SAT @ 7:26 PM
Do you mean that? Your words give me hope. Maybe I can pull this off after all.
GardenerGuy94 SAT @ 7:27 PM
Of course I do! Any particular reason why you picked doll houses? You just don’t seem like the type of girl who’d be into playing with a doll.
GoldfieldsGirl SAT @ 7:28 PM
LOL I can see how you’d think that. I made my first doll house after my boyfriend died. I felt like I was in danger of losing our story unless I had something to keep it in. So I made a doll house for the life we once had together. I guess you could say making it was a kind of therapy.
GardenerGuy94 SAT @ 7:30 PM
That’s incredibly beautiful and sad all at the same time. And how do you feel now?
GoldfieldsGirl SAT @ 7:31 PM
Now I make doll houses for little girls to keep their dreams in.
GardenerGuy94 SAT @ 7:32 PM
You’ve created a dream factory with this project. I think that’s a pretty big deal.
What colour are you painting the store? You are redecorating, right?
GoldfieldsGirl SAT @ 7:33 PM
I was thinking a pale pink with a black counter and trim. In gloss of course. I’m even making curtains.
GardenerGuy94 SAT @ 7:34 PM
The old guys are going to hate it. Especially Joe.
GoldfieldsGirl SAT @ 7:34 PM
That’s one of the saddest parts of this change. I’m going to miss the old guys with their bickering and bad jokes. Maybe they’ll visit me at the workshop, give me feedback on my work. LOL.
GardenerGuy94 SAT @ 7:36 PM
I haven’t met them yet and I feel like I know them. I’m going to miss them too.
GoldfieldsGirl SAT @ 7:37 PM
How’s Ripley?
GardenerGuy94 SAT @ 7:37 PM
He’s well. He’s trying to convince me to quit my job and pursue my dreams.
GoldfieldsGirl SAT @ 7:38 PM
What a brilliant dog! Are you going to take his advice?
GardenerGuy94 SAT @ 7:38 PM
Can I be honest here?
GoldfieldsGirl SAT @ 7:39 PM
You are totally safe with me.
GardenerGuy94 SAT @ 7:39 PM
I’m scared. Not of leaving my family business. I don’t care about that. I’m not a right fit there and that’s okay. What scares me is failing. Again. It happened once, it can happen again.
GoldfieldsGirl SAT @ 7:41 PM
I know that feeling. When the worst thing you can imagine actually happens, you realise how unsafe the world is. You lose trust in yourself that you can survive another heartbreak. But what if we can? Isn’t it our duty to ourselves to try? To live for those who cannot? They’d be so annoyed to see us like this, paralysed by fear.
GardenerGuy94 SAT @ 7:42 PM
You seem to know exactly how I’m feeling and what I need to hear. You’re so brave. I’m proud of you. I need to find my own courage, with Ripley’s help of course.
GoldfieldsGirl SAT @ 7:43 PM
I don’t know how much courage is involved with my journey. Without Carpenter’s Warehouse to push me I’d probably have stalled starting a fresh life for years. I’m both terrified and exhilarated. Maybe this will work and maybe it won’t but we won’t find out until we try, right?
GardenerGuy94 SAT @ 7:45 PM
You’re completely right. I need to do something positive. I just need to work out what that looks like. I’m so glad you’re in my life. x
Extract from The Goldfields Gazette, Friday 29 October 1971:
WAR HERO RETURNS TO WONGILLY
There was cause for celebration at Cappelli’s Hardware this week as war hero and beloved son, Lorenzo Cappelli, returned home from the Vietnam War.
‘I can’t tell you how good it is to have my son home safely,’ said Marco Cappelli. ‘Every night he was over there was a sleepless night for me and my wife.’
Lorenzo, 28, was mentioned in dispatches for gallant action in the face of the enemy. He returns to Wongilly to take his place in the family business. ‘I’m looking forward to the quiet life and spending time with my family and friends,’ he said.
Lorenzo is engaged to Miss Maria Nancetta Russo. His return signals the beginning of wedding plans for the upcoming happy occasion.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The day after the store’s closure dragged on listlessly and Annalisa struggled to find her balance. She knew she ought to have been cleaning and planning; at the very least she should’ve been in the workshop cutting templates out of plywood. Instead, she’d flopped on the couch and binge-watched shows on Netflix, ignoring her phone and eating cheese toasties. None of which made her feel any better.
When day two dawned, she tried harder to get her head in the game. Her life would not move forward unless she pushed it. No one else would scrub clean the walls or paint them or do her social media. Just running through the list of things she had to do by herself added to the weight on her shoulders. How was she going to get through it all?
As she ate breakfast, her mind returned to the dark period after Ben’s death. The struggle had seemed endless. The only way she’d been able to get through each day was by identifying the next obvious thing she had to do and doing it until it was done. Then she moved on to the next item, until the sun went down, at which point she’d lock the doors and cry until exhaustion took her.
Eventually things had improved. She worked less hard to move forward and cried less at night. Baby steps until she found which way was up.
Now the shop had closed, she carried some heavy grief in her chest at having let her family down, but the sensation didn’t reach into her soul like the loss of Ben had.
With the sun due to show itself, she made a list of the next obvious things to do. Number one—clean the store from top to bottom. This meant washing walls, scrubbing the floor, clearing shelves and making the windows sparkle. She’d need sugar soap, disinfectant, window cleaner and a killer soundtrack to carry her through the day.
Several hours later, Annalisa found things weren’t so bad after all. Tinny speakers hooked up to her laptop blared her soundtrack into the room and she’d kept the blinds drawn to discourage any visitors. She’d managed to complete a fair bit from her list, even with the odd tea-break thrown in. Between scrubbing and singing along tunelessly, no negative thoughts could penetrate.
The enormity of what she’d undertaken loomed over her, waiting to trip her up. Her trick was to keep moving. The minute she stopped, she’d open the door a crack and who knew what kind of dark thoughts of inadequacy might shoulder their way in.
Someone was pounding on the door. She’d become so lost in her determination to be distracted she must have missed them knocking.
‘Hold on!’ she cried as she dropped the scrubbing brush in the bucket, sending suds everywhere. She wiped her wet hands on the back of her tracksuit pants, her daggiest ones of course, and turned the music down.
Annalisa opened the door to find Ed
standing on the other side, a bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine in his hands. Her first thoughts ran along the lines of why had she worn this baggy T-shirt and past-their-shelf-life trackies? Her hand instinctively moved to her hair piled on top of her head and fixed by an eclectic collection of pins and hairclips.
‘The rest of my apology,’ he said, holding his gifts out to her.
‘Um … thank you.’ She blushed, the hot blood flooding her cheeks at how shabby she must appear. This only served to increase her levels of awkwardness. ‘Come in.’ She stepped aside to make way for Ed.
He passed close, far too close. The heat coming off his body hit her like a force field. All she had to do was lean forward an inch or two and they’d connect. His hard flesh would be against her skin. The scent of him, woody with that hint of sage and sea salt, hit her like a drug, mainlined straight to her heart. She nearly let herself go, nearly gave in to the need to feel his body against hers with the same intensity as that day in the site office when he’d kissed her.
‘You’re hard at it.’ Ed’s words broke her reverie as he looked around at her handiwork.
‘What else am I going to do with my time?’ She shut the door and locked it, not wanting anyone to walk in and find her alone with Ed. There were questions about him she couldn’t answer for herself let alone anyone else.
‘Why are you here?’ She moved cautiously towards him as if he might bite. Or maybe kiss her. Which wouldn’t be so bad. Except it was wrong. So wrong.
‘I told you. I came to deliver the rest of my apology.’ He smiled and she became distracted by the fluttering in her stomach.
‘You didn’t have to.’
‘Yes, I did.’ He turned to look around the now bare shop. ‘So what are you planning to do in here?’ Clearly, his apology was done and dusted. While she wanted to make it clear to Ed that her acceptance of his gifts did not mean they were friends, she did not want another fight. They could have that conversation later.
‘I’m going to paint the walls a soft shell pink and refresh the glossy black on the counter. I’m not sure what to do with the shelves. I don’t want to take them out in case they’re useful for … stuff.’ She ended on a shrug, suddenly aware that she was speaking to a member of the very successful Carpenter family and here she was, a complete business amateur.
Ed nodded, taking in the empty fixtures. ‘Maybe the middle section can be lowered and used to display your little furniture. You are making doll-house furniture too?’ He turned to look at her without a trace of mockery in his expression.
She sighed. ‘Yes, although I have no idea where I’m going to find the time to redecorate here, fulfil all the orders and create mini furniture for the houses. I try not to think about it or I’ll run the risk of not doing anything at all.’
He took her in, top to bottom. She tried very hard not to squirm, imagining what she looked like to him. She’d seen pictures of him and his family online, having secretly stalked him when she considered making voodoo dolls of them all. Everyone groomed within an inch of their life and, well … clean. She peered down at her mucky self, resigned to playing the part of the country bumpkin.
‘You need help,’ he said.
‘That’s a bit rude,’ she began before realising he meant with the work, not her personal grooming. ‘Sorry, I mean thank you but I’m fine. I’ll manage.’
‘Annalisa, there’s too much work for one person.’ He turned around, arms wide, like a real estate agent showcasing the place. ‘Let me help you.’
‘I don’t think that’s a good idea.’ Being stuck in close quarters with Ed could only lead to trouble and she had GardenerGuy94 to think of. They shared something special and she wanted to preserve the chance to see if it might lead to something more.
‘Why not? Give me one good reason why you shouldn’t accept my offer.’ He gazed at her, his head tilted to the side, as if examining her soul. She had to look away as his laser-like stare burned her.
‘It’s not appropriate,’ she muttered, at a loss for anything better to say.
‘Seriously? Are we in some nineteenth-century novel or something? I’ve got a little bit of time on my hands. I feel guilty about what happened here and you’d be doing me a favour by letting me help you.’
He’d come closer, so when she turned her face back towards him she could see his pulse beating in the hollow of his throat. She swallowed hard against the sudden desire to find out what his skin tasted like right in that spot.
‘I don’t think … I mean … I don’t know …’ She stumbled over her words, sentences forming and reforming in her brain as the scent of him scrambled her cognitive ability.
He leaned in a little closer and she thought she might faint. ‘How about you just say yes?’ he whispered in her ear.
She closed her eyes against the longing that threatened to take her out at the knees.
‘Yes,’ she said and took a step backwards, relieved to be out of his gravitational pull. As she recovered her ability to breathe again, Ed began to talk about what needed doing as if the very nature of reality hadn’t shifted in the last few minutes.
‘Have you bought the paint you need? Hopefully that’s a no because I can get you what you want at trade price.’ He turned away but not before she saw the sheepish look on his face. ‘You know, Carpenter’s and everything.’
‘That would be nice, thank you.’ Her heart rate had returned to normal. She needed to stay calm and professional.
Ed wanted to help her and maybe she should let him. The place would be finished much faster, and for cheaper—there was that. But if she accepted his help then how would that look to GardenerGuy94? She should take back her yes.
Annalisa opened her mouth and Ed cut her short.
‘Don’t you dare,’ he said.
‘What?’
‘You know what. I could tell by your tone you were saying yes out of politeness. Well, I’m not going to let you change your mind.’ He went back to sizing up the walls as if by avoiding her gaze he could have the last word on the subject. ‘I’m doing this for me more than for you.’
‘Oh, really.’ The familiar surge of annoyance broke the spell he’d cast over her. ‘So much for the grand apology.’
‘I am sorry. Truly and authentically sorry and if I leave here without somehow making it up to you, it will stay with me for the rest of my life.’
She crossed her arms over her chest—he certainly knew how to stir the coals of her anger.
‘You’re only doing this because you feel guilty, not sorry.’
He had the cheek to shrug. ‘Guilt and apology go hand in hand. What difference does it make if you’re getting your place painted out for next to nothing?’
‘Alright then.’ She dropped her arms, surrendering with no grace whatsoever. ‘If it makes you feel any better then go right ahead and order the damn paint.’
‘Pleased you see it my way.’ He grinned at her as if her rude acceptance hadn’t offended him at all. She’d only managed to offend herself. Could he be that arrogant?
She surveyed him from top to bottom. Anyone that good-looking would surely develop a set of expectations in life, especially if they were rich to boot. He represented the kind of Melbourne-café-dwelling guy she would make fun of. All slick and entitled, they lived in a world so far removed from the one she’d lived in with Ben, one with the struggle to pay the rent and make ends meet.
The sun went behind a cloud at the memory of Ben. While nowadays Annalisa coped fine with the occasional long shadow cast from her past life, having the electric and very sexy Ed Carpenter before her only served as a reminder of what she’d lost. Ed was so alive, his energy filled the room, blotting out everything else but him. She was annoyed at how her body responded to him, tracking his movements around the store, hyper aware of every gesture he made. She felt like a traitor, not only to GardenerGuy94 but to Ben as well.
Suddenly, she felt impossibly tired as if someone had tied a lead weight to her heart and drop
ped it over the side of eternity.
‘You okay?’ He materialised in front of her, concern on his face and in his voice. He placed his hands on her shoulders and ducked his head, forcing her to meet his eyes.
‘I’m fine,’ she lied.
He searched her eyes as if he could read her thoughts and for a moment she thought he was going to say something. Then he let his hands drop away, setting her adrift, like a small boat in a big ocean.
‘Okay, if you say so,’ he said lightly, watchfulness behind his words.
And just like that she was watching Ed move about the store again, listening to him talk about how best to tackle each task. Whether she was a traitor or not, her attraction to him marked an important milestone. While GardenerGuy94 had awoken her heart to feelings long dormant, Ed had reminded her that she was a woman. A woman with needs.
Loyalty. Affection. Desire. Three feelings split between three different men. While Ben was gone, the love they shared still held the real estate of her heart; she wasn’t sure another could move in and set up a permanent home. The very thought made her squirm—as if Ben was simply away on a surfing trip and would return to find her heart occupied by another man.
But he wasn’t coming back. Ever. A sorrowful sigh rattled through her.
Then there was Ed, who’d made it clear he wanted her, and she wanted him. No point denying the more than obvious truth. Yet she held back. Her emotional entanglement with GardenerGuy94 and her lingering grief over Ben formed only part of her hesitance. As Ed gestured with his hands she remembered the feel of them on her body, the way his lips had felt against hers. She had no problem picturing a tangle with Ed, and just like that, the real reason she resisted Ed revealed itself. The way he captivated her, annoyed her, made her mad and made her laugh was evidence enough to suggest things wouldn’t remain purely physical for long. Ed was a man she could fall properly in love with.