by Eva Scott
But Annalisa was terrified of ever feeling so much for another person again. Losing Ben had been visceral. When the very worst thing that could happen happened, you knew there was nothing stopping it happening again.
She hadn’t been able to breathe properly, to eat or to feel anything at all. She’d walked around like an empty vessel, a facade of a person, for a year before she’d been able to make tentative first steps towards putting her life back together. She never wanted to feel that vulnerable again.
‘What do you think?’ Ed turned to her, his smile so warm her body responded with happy tingling sensations.
She realised she hadn’t heard a word he’d said. ‘Sorry, off in my own private universe.’ Annalisa shook her head, sending her curls cascading out of the clasp.
Ed swooped in to pick up the hair clip, which had broken in two on impact. He held the pieces out to her.
‘Looks like the tiny spring wasn’t up to the job.’
‘Happens all the time.’ She sighed. ‘I have too much hair and it’s rebellious.’ She pulled her hair back from her face with both hands, weaving a makeshift braid. ‘They don’t make hair clips for girls like me. Some days I wish I had straight hair that did what it was told.’
Only when she’d finished mucking about with her hair did she notice Ed had become still. And she sensed his watchfulness returning, as if he were studying her, committing the details to memory.
Her nerves coiled tight as his eyes traced the line of her throat and the shape of her breasts. Her breath became shallow, little puffs of air she struggled to control as desire began to languidly spiral along her spine. She moved towards him, compelled like a cobra rising towards the snake charmer, unable to resist the call of those blue eyes.
In an instant, his hands were in her hair, her braid flying apart at his touch as their lips met in a heated exchange as powerful as the clash of the worlds they represented. Annalisa pressed her body into his, revelling at the hard, sculptured length of him. Her mind, now open to the possibilities of the physical, gave in to the demands of her body which longed to feel hot male flesh again, so much so that it left her dizzy.
His hands roved her body, all restraint gone as he gave in to the moment with her. The flames igniting between them took her closer to the edge of her self-control. Then the last vestiges of her sane mind sent out an alarm, a warning signal that the boundary she was about to cross was a dangerous one.
What about GardenerGuy94? Like an icy hydrant, the thought suppressed the fiery desire building inside her.
‘Stop,’ she gasped as she pulled away from his lips, disentangling herself from his arms. ‘We can’t do this.’
He looked dishevelled and sexy, and very confused. ‘Why not?’ Ed frowned and shook his head as if she’d presented him with a ridiculous proposition he couldn’t quite believe.
‘Because.’ Annalisa knew that wasn’t enough of an explanation. She straightened her clothes and took time smoothing her hair back, careful not to look him in the eye.
‘What kind of reason is that?’ He sounded frustrated.
‘My reason,’ she said, drawing a firm boundary between them with her tone. ‘I can’t do this right now with you because.’
‘I’m single. You’re single. We like each other and we’ve established this is not a nineteenth-century novel. Can’t you just tell me why?’
Annalisa raised her eyebrows.
‘Okay, so I like you and you lust after me,’ he said with a shrug.
‘Is that what you think, that I lust after you?’ Outraged at his presumption, she squared up, hands on hips.
‘I think recent evidence would suggest I’m right.’ Oh, how she wanted to wipe that smug smile off his face. ‘You kissed me this time.’
He had her there. She had crossed the divide between them without a moment’s hesitation. She turned away and picked up her hair clip halves that had fallen in all the excitement.
‘You still haven’t given me a reason why we can’t do this.’ He pointed at himself and to her.
‘Let’s say I don’t fully trust you.’ She got busy moving all the cleaning gear to another part of the store.
‘So there’s no one else?’ He asked like it was a trick question, or maybe it sounded like that because there was someone else in her life.
‘None of your business.’
‘I think it is my business.’ He crossed his arms and planted his feet like he was putting down roots. His tone had changed to annoyance.
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘You want the truth, well, here it is. There is someone I’ve been involved with for a while. Someone who is a friend, someone who is kind and considerate and who cares about how I feel.’
‘You’re not talking about the guy who stood you up, are you?’ A look of surprise crossed Ed’s face as if he’d never considered she’d give GardenerGuy94 a second chance.
‘I might be,’ she said primly before turning her attention back to the cleaning equipment.
‘Let me get this straight, you’re talking about someone whose name you don’t know, who stood you up and who you only talk to online? Have I got that right?’
God, how she hated him. He’d managed to hit every one of her sensitivities where GardenerGuy94 was concerned. He made her friendship with him sound made-up and childish, like she was a teenage girl with a crush.
‘Yes,’ she said between gritted teeth.
‘You’re willing to give him a second chance but you’re not so keen on giving me one. Doesn’t seem altogether fair. What’s so great about this guy? What’s he got that I haven’t?’
‘We’ve been over this before.’ She picked up a brush and scrubbed at a scuff mark as if getting it out were the most vital thing in the world.
‘Ah, yes, I remember. The day we ran into each other at the café in Bendigo, right?’
‘Something like that.’ The day she’d been meaner to him than to anyone else ever.
‘Right.’ The way he said the word, heavy with meaning, told her he had no intention of letting the subject drop.
‘If I remember rightly, you told me this guy was completely different from me. You said he’d never try to seduce you or bribe you to give up your business.’
‘Heritage,’ she muttered. ‘The word I used was heritage.’
‘I’m not sure bribe is the right word either.’
God, she hated it when he was right. Ed hadn’t bribed her. He’d insisted she take the deal long after the deadline had expired. She’d been acting like a fool out of pride and he’d saved her from herself.
‘Possibly not.’ Annalisa sighed and gave up on the scuff mark. That thing was never coming out.
‘Can I assume I’m almost as kind and considerate as this other guy?’ She could hear the teasing in his voice, willing her to take the bait.
‘Assume away,’ she said, refusing to rise.
‘Bet I’m a better kisser.’
‘I wouldn’t know. How about I tell you when I find out?’ She picked up the bucket and moved to another section of the wall, hoping he’d take the hint.
‘I can’t wait to hear your report.’ He didn’t sound bothered at all. ‘In the meantime, I’m here to help you because I genuinely care about you, and there is nothing phoney about how I feel.’
Annalisa closed her eyes, her face to the wall so he couldn’t see her expression. The hope that he’d forgotten about her barb evaporated as he spoke. Not her finest hour. Although now she could take this opportunity to apologise.
‘About that.’ Annalisa dropped her scrubbing brush in the bucket and stood up to face him. He leaned back against the counter, at ease with his arms crossed and a look of expectation on his face. She nearly faltered. He’d said some pretty mean things too.
Then she remembered he’d apologised for them. She hadn’t.
‘I arrived in a bad mood that day at the café,’ he said as if reading her thoughts. ‘I’d had an argument with my brother right before I came in.’
‘You already said sorry. It’s me who has to apologise. I shouldn’t have called you a phoney. I didn’t mean it.’ She sighed and braced herself. ‘I said it because I knew it would hurt and I’ve felt horrible about it ever since.’
‘Thank you,’ he said, a soft smile playing on his lips. ‘I appreciate your honesty and the apology.’
‘Now, if you don’t mind, I have to get on with my work.’ Annalisa turned back to her scrubbing, trying to ignore the fact he hadn’t moved.
‘Fair enough,’ he said. ‘Tell you what …’
She heard the rattle of car keys but she refused to turn around. To deliver her apology she’d had to let her walls down. Ed wouldn’t have to push very hard to knock her other defences over. Annalisa had to protect herself.
‘I’m going to hang around while you work through your online relationship with this catfish guy, and when you realise that he’s not real, I’ll be here to pick up the pieces.’
Ed’s words sparked a jet of annoyance that made Annalisa spin around. ‘I don’t need you to pick up the pieces. I’m perfectly fine taking care of myself. Go save some other damsel in distress.’
‘Nope,’ he said with maddening calm. ‘I’ve decided you’re my damsel.’
‘You don’t get to say,’ she hissed.
‘Oh, yes I do.’ He stepped closer to her, catching her in the web of their magnetic chemistry. She fought the weakening in her knees, placing one hand on the wall behind her to steady herself.
‘This thing we have between us, it’s real. And I’m not letting you walk away from it without a fight. Got that?’ He pierced her with those oh-so-blue eyes that’d make half of Hollywood weep. She swallowed hard and held on to the wall for dear life.
Later, in the privacy of her home, Annalisa would come up with a thousand clever responses, but in that moment she couldn’t think of a single thing to say.
‘Good,’ he said, pulling back and releasing her from his spell. ‘I have to go down to Melbourne for a meeting so I’ll bring you the paint tomorrow, okay?’
‘You don’t …’ she began, finding her voice at last.
Ed held up a hand to stop her. ‘I don’t want to hear it. You and me, we’re going to be friends. We’ll keep this on the straight and narrow until you decide you’re ready, okay?’
‘Me? Ready?’ The arrogance of the man was too much.
‘I’ll see you soon.’ He didn’t wait to hear what she had to say before walking straight out the door, climbing into his car and taking off. The whole time she stood there with her mouth open, shocked at the validity of what he’d said as much as the certainty with which he’d said it.
Ed Carpenter had none of the characteristics of GardenerGuy94, none of the sweetness she found so appealing. Sure, he’d been generous in offering to get her paint but that hadn’t been a stretch for him. He worked for Carpenter’s after all. Ed didn’t seem to possess the traits she wanted to fall in love with, only the physical chemistry that threatened to set her skin on fire and send her body up in flames.
How could a guy like Ed understand that she needed to feel safe after everything she’d gone through? And he was just about the furthest thing from safe she knew.
She picked up her scrubbing brush and took her frustration out on the wall. Ed Carpenter was going to have to deal with the fact she intended on putting him firmly in the Friend Zone, whether he liked it or not. GardenerGuy94 had her heart and Ed had no claim on it. No matter how many times he kissed her.
At least that was the official line she was sticking to.
‘Here, darling. This will help.’ Virginia Carpenter handed Ed a cut crystal glass filled with clear liquid and ice.
‘Thanks, Mum.’ He sniffed the contents. ‘What’s in this?’
‘It’s a sour apple martini.’ Virginia took a seat opposite him on a cream silk couch covered in pastel-coloured cushions, identical to the one he occupied. ‘An old nineties classic.’
He took a sip. ‘Wow.’
She smiled. ‘You need to relax.’
His mother was right, although this current setting didn’t do anything to help. Ed found the impossibly elegant furnishings made him nervous, while Virginia looked like a jewel in her perfect setting. He’d be a lot happier with his hands deep in the earth and covered in dirt; he was a man of the soil. For fear of getting something grubby now, he sat still and sipped his cocktail.
‘I’m glad you popped home. I wanted to ask you if you’ve made a decision about selling your shares to me.’
‘I’ve thought about nothing else,’ he confessed. The more time he spent alone with Annalisa, the more sure he became. He had to act, had to get out of Carpenter’s Warehouse and back to the life he loved. He needed to be free. He needed to be with Annalisa.
Virginia nodded, watching him with a placid expression. She knew to wait, to let him unravel himself and untie all his mental knots.
‘But the situation is complicated.’
‘In my experience, situations themselves are rarely complicated. The emotions involved create the complications,’ said Virginia.
‘I think it’s a little of both,’ said Ed.
‘From where I sit, things look simple enough. You sell me your shares and put in your notice. Voila, you’re free. What’s complicated about that?’
The way Virginia stepped it out sounded wonderfully straightforward. But she didn’t know the full story.
‘Yes, you’re right, selling you my shares will solve my career problem but that’s only one half of my situation.’
‘What’s the other issue holding you back?’
He longed to confess all, to unburden his heart and get his mother’s advice. He hesitated because he knew he’d acted rashly when he initiated contact with Annalisa. His GardenerGuy94 profile was only ever meant to be a cover during his community research. He’d planned to deactivate it when he was done, not inhabit it and let it become a persona he now hid behind.
Ed had made a tactical error, one he needed advice on how to fix.
‘Okay,’ he said, tossing back the rest of his drink. ‘I’ll tell you everything but only if you promise not to say anything until I’m done.’
Virginia crossed her legs and smoothed her dress down over her knees as she settled in for his story. ‘I think I can manage that.’
And she kept her promise.
‘You were right, it is a tricky situation,’ she said.
‘Told you so.’
‘The problem as I see it, and I’m assuming you’re looking for advice?’ Virginia paused and waited for Ed’s nod. ‘At no point have you been true to yourself. You went to work for your brother and sister when you didn’t want to …’
‘Yes, but I didn’t have a choice,’ Ed protested. ‘I had no job and no income. I had to earn a living.’
‘All that is true; however, there were other ways you could have gone about that without compromising your integrity.’
Ed sighed dramatically, unwilling to admit his mother was right when they both knew she was. He could have made different choices. In the end, he’d taken the easy, obvious way out and had been miserable every day since.
‘As I was saying, you have not been true to who you are. Pretending to be this Gardener person has led to confusion for everyone, including this poor girl. You need to be honest with yourself first and then go and be honest with everyone else.’ Virginia shook her head. ‘Edward, what am I going to do with you?’
On the edge of the couch, Ed put his head in his hands, his mother’s words making him feel like a five-year-old boy being chastised. ‘I still don’t know how to fix things.’
‘You know what to do about Carpenter’s Warehouse. As for your young lady, there’s not much you can do if you can’t make her fall in love with you twice.’
Ed’s head shot up. ‘Mum,’ he said. ‘You’re a genius.’ He jumped off the couch and reached for his mother to give her a hug. Startled, Virginia patted his back while he crushed her in a bear hug.
‘I’m glad I could help.’
Ed set her down gently, grinning like a carnival clown. His mum had unlocked the answer he’d been seeking. He knew what he had to do—his path had never been clearer. ‘I’m starving. Can I stay for dinner?’
GardenerGuy94 MON @ 8:32 PM
How was your day? Anything interesting happen?
GoldfieldsGirl MON @ 8:35 PM
Not really. I spent the day scrubbing walls and shelves. Getting ready to paint the store.
GardenerGuy94 MON @ 8:38 PM
Sorry to hear your day was so boring. Mine too. I’m beginning to wonder what the point of it all is.
GardenerGuy94 MON @ 8:38 PM
The daily grind I mean.
GoldfieldsGirl MON @ 8:39 PM
I get it. I would have said the same thing last week. This week is a different matter. Starting my own business is both exciting and terrifying at the same time.
GardenerGuy94 MON @ 8:40 PM
Let me live vicariously through you. What do you find exciting?
GoldfieldsGirl MON @ 8:40 PM
The thought of selling the things I make with my own hands. Or the idea that I can make money doing something I love. All that’s yet to be proved. When I see the orders stacking up in my inbox and when I wake up in the middle of the night panicking about how I’m going to get it all done, I feel like it’s actually happening and that maybe I can make a success out of this.
GardenerGuy94 MON @ 8:42 PM
I know that feeling. When I started my business my adrenaline pumped every day. I had a great team and interesting work. 100% bullet proof. It’s the best feeling in the world. So what scares you?
GoldfieldsGirl MON @ 8:43 PM
Not understanding business principles. Needing someone else to do my books. I don’t get marketing, or internet stuff like social media. I spent Sunday updating my website and it looks like a twelve-year-old kid made it. What a frustrating experience! Took me hours.
GardenerGuy94 MON @ 8:44 PM
Hey, you’re on a steep learning curve and there are going to be days when you don’t want to learn another new thing. Then one day, it’s going to feel as if you’ve known this stuff forever. Take it from me. You’ll get there.