by Eva Scott
GardenerGuy94 MON @ 8:45 PM
Is there anything else that scares you?
GoldfieldsGirl MON @ 8:48 PM
I typed stuff and deleted it three times. I trust you so here’s the truth, I am terrified of being alone. Of doing all this by myself. I’m tired of being lonely.
GardenerGuy94 MON @ 8:49 PM
You have your friends and your nonna around you, right?
GoldfieldsGirl MON @ 8:50 PM
That’s not the kind of lonely I’m talking about. I’m talking about the empty-bed kind of lonely. The no one to share things with at the end of the day kind of lonely. You are the only person I talk to about this stuff. Which is great. But you’re not here with me.
GardenerGuy94 MON @ 9:10 PM
I know that kind of lonely. Having Ripley helps. I know that’s not the kind of companionship you’re talking about but it’s how I cope with my loneliness. You’ve got to have a strategy for survival until the right person comes along, that someone you can share your life with. Know what I mean?
GardenerGuy94 MON @ 9:11 PM
And just for the record, you’re my go-to person too.
GoldfieldsGirl MON @ 9:12 PM
I’m sorry to hear you’re lonely too. I have this image of you surrounded by people in a restaurant in Melbourne, having fun and being the centre of attention.
GoldfieldsGirl MON @ 9:13 PM
Maybe I should get a dog. I talk about it a lot.
GardenerGuy94 MON @ 9:14 PM
My social life is far from what you imagine it to be. I get home to my little place, hang out with my dog, and maybe drink a beer out by the fire pit under the stars if it’s a Friday night. I trust you so I’m going to tell you that I don’t think I’ve pulled up from the pandemic. It brought me to my knees both financially and emotionally.
GardenerGuy94 MON @ 9:15 PM
I’ve never told anyone that before. Not even Ripley.
GoldfieldsGirl MON @ 9:15 PM
I’m sorry. I know loss and I know how hard it is to move past it. But you have me now and I’m always here if you want to talk.
GardenerGuy94 MON @ 9:15 PM
You have no idea how much that means to me. Sleep tight x
GoldfieldsGirl MON @ 9:16 PM
Good night. Give Ripley a hug from me x
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Ed had to get a grip on his nerves.
Annalisa had tolerated him in her shop and the chemistry between them was proving to be explosive. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, even if she didn’t like the idea. He could work with that. Sooner or later, the energy buzzing between them would become impossible to ignore.
As he navigated the last few kilometres back to Wongilly from Melbourne, Ed contemplated his situation. He’d given her some space. He’d been businesslike, something he’d struggled to do when she came anywhere near him.
Her presence set off a chain reaction in his body chemistry, one he couldn’t control. As long as she stayed on the other side of the room or the counter, he could cope. If she came near, it took all of his self-control not to reach for her. The memory of her body beneath his hands, her lips against his, made him want her in ways he hadn’t wanted anyone in years.
Beyond the chemistry simmering between them, he enjoyed her sharp mind and the way she sparred with him, her quick replies keeping him on his toes. Then there was the relationship they had developed online that he held dear to his heart.
Her willingness to be vulnerable disarmed him, allowing him to feel for the first time since his world had fallen apart, when shutting down had seemed the best option to survive.
The car shot past the familiar countryside, golden brown fields with the occasional rolling hill. The sense of space and the vaulted blue sky was worlds away from his urban life. All the things tangling him up, all his unprocessed emotions, the sensation of holding on too tight, had begun to unravel in the short time he’d spent in the country.
He still didn’t feel like his old self and wondered if that were even possible now. Too much had happened and he’d sold himself down the river by joining Carpenter’s Warehouse. What had seemed like a lifeline then weighed like chains upon him now.
The store formerly known as Cappelli’s Hardware came into view as he approached the town. The pressure built in his chest and his throat tightened. As his online relationship with Annalisa deepened, the physical attraction between them seemed to ratchet up a notch.
What would happen when Annalisa decided she needed to make a choice between them? The charade could not continue, and he’d known that all along. You need to be honest with yourself first and then go and be honest with everyone else.
He pulled up across the road from the store.
While Annalisa might be torn between GardenerGuy94 and Ed Carpenter, he was also conflicted. Ed desperately wanted to be near her yet also craved the emotional connection that belonged to his alter ego. He contemplated his phone. Should he message her and check in, take comfort in the connection? Or would it be better to simply go inside and work to create that same relationship as Ed?
Resting his head back against the car seat, he contemplated the main street, watching residents come and go. If he sat quietly maybe his thoughts would settle. He had to find a solution to his dilemma of how to make Annalisa fall in love with him twice. He had no idea how to go about it. The conundrum hovered in the back of his mind like a tricky logic problem, the kind you knew you could solve if you had enough time.
The idea of going back to Melbourne without resolving the issues with Annalisa could not be entertained. At least his mother buying his shares would afford him some much-needed freedom: he could start over with the money from the sale free from any guilt. And without Rosie and Oliver to contend with. But if things went well with Annalisa, then what would he do for a living out here?
His landscape business had thrived in urban Melbourne. Out in the country opportunities were limited and he’d probably have to find another way to make an income.
Providing Annalisa didn’t want to move back to Melbourne, of course. Asking her to move away from her home and community was unfair. He’d have asked enough of her by the time they reached that conversation. If he was lucky enough to get to that particular conversation.
What a weird situation it was when a man had to compete against himself to get the girl. Ed picked up his phone and opened a message.
GardenerGuy94 WED @ 10:23 AM
How are you doing?
GoldfieldsGirl @ 10:24 AM
So good to hear from you. I am super busy redecorating the shop and filling my doll-house orders. Things are moving so fast that my head’s spinning from dawn to dusk.
GardenerGuy94 WED @ 10:26 AM
I find myself thinking about you a lot. I wish I could be more of a support to you.
GoldfieldsGirl WED @ 10:27 AM
What are you talking about? I couldn’t have gotten through these past months without you to lean on. You’ve become my lifeline.
GardenerGuy94 WED @ 10:28 AM
I still feel bad about standing you up. I want to make it up to you sometime.
GoldfieldsGirl WED @ 10:29 AM
I don’t hold that against you.
GoldfieldsGirl WED @ 10:29 AM
Let me clarify that. I was hurt at the time but it made me see how much you’ve come to mean to me.
GardenerGuy94 WED @ 10:30 AM
I am relieved to hear that. I think I was overwhelmed by my feelings for you and I got scared. Not an excuse but a reason. I didn’t expect that someone I chat with online could become so important to me.
GoldfieldsGirl WED @ 10:31 AM
You’re important to me too. I’m going to take a risk and put it out there. I want more of you. I want us to be properly connected. I want us to meet.
GardenerGuy94 WED @ 10:32 AM
I do too.
GoldfieldsGirl WED @ 10:32 AM
I’ve got to go. My nemesis’s car just pulled up. He’s brou
ght the paint for the shop as a kind of apology. Talk later.
GardenerGuy94 WED @ 10:33 AM
Take care and don’t be too hard on him. He’s probably a nice guy under that tough exterior.
Ed’s entire internal landscape shifted and reformed as he read Annalisa’s messages. She cared about him as much as he cared about her. Knowing that the feelings between his alter ego and Annalisa were real gave him a sense of security and confidence.
He took a moment to collect his thoughts before going inside. Nothing had changed as far as his major problems were concerned. He still had to unite the two halves of himself in Annalisa’s heart. He still had to solve the problem of his future, because one thing he knew for sure was he couldn’t stay in the family business any longer.
Right now, his focus had to be on building a strong friendship with Annalisa as Ed the Devil. Physically, the heat could not be more intense between them and he wanted more. He wanted her to like him as well as want him.
Climbing out of the car, Ed hoisted two tins of paint from the back of the ute. He was going in there and helping Annalisa whether she wanted his help or not. Ed was about to mount a charm offensive like nothing she’d ever experienced. He stretched his neck from side to side and squared his shoulders as if he were a boxer stepping into the ring, determined to win the first round.
Annalisa pretended she hadn’t seen Ed until he walked in through the front door.
‘Oh, hello.’ She returned to sanding the counter down.
‘You’re making inroads there,’ he said by way of reply, hefting the paint tins he carried up onto the counter. ‘Here you go.’
She put down her sanding block. Using a screwdriver she jemmied the lid off one of the tins. A perfect, soft pale pink glimmered up at her.
‘Thank you,’ she said, offering Ed a smile.
He beamed back. ‘My pleasure. Shall we get started on the walls?’
Annalisa frowned. ‘That’s okay, I can manage by myself. Getting the paint for me was more than enough.’
‘Oh, no,’ he said as he lifted the tins and carried them over to a waiting wall. ‘You don’t get off that easily. I said I wanted to help and I am. Besides, we’re friends now, right?’
He sought her confirmation, a shiver of desire running through her at the caress of his gaze. This man sent her body nuts. She couldn’t have him around.
‘You can’t paint in that.’ She gestured to his jeans and T-shirt.
‘I’ve got some overalls in the car.’
‘You don’t need to do this.’ Let him help, whispered her body.
‘It’ll get done faster with two people.’ He sounded so reasonable, his logic hard to argue with.
She sighed, fast running out of ways to get rid of him. The thought of working side by side with Ed made her jittery. Her body insisted on betraying her, tracking him with its internal radar tuned into his every move. Constantly being on guard against her resistance slipping was exhausting.
‘Look, I know what this is about.’ Ed stepped closer until he was on the other side of the counter. ‘You don’t need to be embarrassed about your meltdown the other day, or the kiss.’
‘Excuse me? You think I’m embarrassed about my feelings and that’s why I don’t want you around?’ How arrogant! How dare he assume what she was thinking.
‘I get it. I’ve lost people too and you never see the grief trigger coming until it hits you.’ He wore a look of what she interpreted to be sympathy on his handsome face. ‘You and me, we’re friends so …’ He shrugged, leaving her to fill in the blank.
‘So, what?’ She crossed her arms, ready for a fight.
‘So, we look out for each other. I help you and you help me.’
‘And were you helping me when you kissed me?’
‘You kissed me if I remember rightly.’
Annalisa blushed hotly at the memory.
‘That’s something you shouldn’t be embarrassed about either. All water under the bridge.’ Ed dismissed the past as if they’d both agreed to draw a line under it.
He smiled then, a dazzling assault of handsomeness that had every nerve in her body jumping in response.
‘Can I be frank?’ he asked, leaning in a little too close for comfort. ‘We both know there’s chemistry here.’ He didn’t wait for her response. ‘I know you’re involved with someone online.’
She began to speak, compelled to explain herself, to defend her feelings for someone she’d never actually met.
‘Please.’ He held up his hand. ‘You don’t have to explain. Like I said, I’m here as a friend only. I’m going to respect your boundaries.’
Annalisa let out the breath she’d been holding. The whole time he’d been gone she’d been trying to corral her desire for Ed. Boundaries were a good thing.
She nodded. ‘Okay, you can stay. As a friend.’
Having his help to paint out the shop would be an enormous advantage. She’d be done faster and be able to get back to filling her doll-house orders full time.
‘Great. Friends it is, unless you tell me otherwise or kiss me again.’ He winked, undoing all his reassurances in one gesture.
Annalisa threw the sanding block at him. ‘I cannot believe you just said that.’
He caught it easily, laughing at her consternation. ‘Man, you’re easy to wind up.’
‘And you are the most frustrating, infuriating man I have ever met. Go and get your overalls on if you mean to stay.’
Ed tossed her the block and sauntered out to get his overalls.
Friends. Was that even possible when her feelings about him were so confused? Her heart warned her that letting him stay and help would probably turn out to be a mistake; her body applauded the decision, intending to enjoy every second of his company. So much for putting a rein on her desire.
Annalisa began sanding again with furious intent, determined not to be the one who crossed the line, and the minute he did she’d throw him out.
She deliberately shifted her focus to GardenerGuy94 and his sweet words. The two of them were drawing closer, more intimate, with every message. In a perfect world, Ed would be like GardenerGuy94 and GardenerGuy94 would look like Ed.
She laughed at her own fancy as her phone buzzed with an incoming message. Eagerly she picked it up.
GardenerGuy94 WED @ 11:04 AM
How are you going with your nemesis?
GoldfieldsGirl WED @ 11:04 AM
Well, the paint looks lovely and we’ve agreed to be friends. We’ll see how it goes. Upshot is that I need the extra pair of hands. How are you at painting walls?
GardenerGuy94 WED @ 11:05 AM
Lousy. I get bored and lose focus. Just as well you have someone to help you. I’ll check in later but know I’ll be thinking about you all day x
Annalisa’s heart glowed with delight. With every message they exchanged, she became more and more sure he liked her as much as she liked him. She was beaming when Ed walked back in, dressed in a very new-looking pair of work overalls.
‘You look happy,’ he said.
‘I am.’ Let him stew on the reason why. ‘Did you buy those overalls specially for this?’
‘Might have.’ He gave her one of those megawatt grins that sent her tingling. Why did he have to go do that right after she had the warm and fuzzies from GardenerGuy94? All it did was confuse her.
‘I’ve been thinking,’ said Ed.
‘That sounds dangerous,’ she parried, unable to stop herself from taking a jab.
‘More than you know,’ he said and winked. ‘Anyway, I was thinking that I could carry on in here and you could resume making your doll houses. Be the most efficient use of time.’
She considered him for a moment, her head cocked to one side as if that perspective might make a difference to how she saw him. ‘Are you being kind?’
‘Yes, ma’am.’
Mixed messages. One minute he was flirting with her and the next he was all matey. He did have a point. If he worked in the shop, sh
e could crack on with her orders which were piling up and giving her sleepless nights.
‘Okay, it’s a deal,’ she said. She was glad for the additional advantage: not having to work side by side with him and put up with her rebellious body egging her on to cross the friendship boundary. ‘I’ve got a drop sheet out in the workshop if you want to give me a hand carrying it in. It’s huge.’
‘Sure, lead the way.’
She wondered if he watched her behind as he followed her. The thought made her self-conscious and a little nervous. Annalisa led him around the shop to where her workshop nestled in behind the house.
Ed waited while she wrestled with the padlock to the roller door. ‘I haven’t seen your workshop. I’m keen to see where the magic happens.’
‘Magic might be a strong word,’ she said as she lifted the door up with a racket loud enough to wake the dead.
‘Those wildflowers look like they’ve gone nuts.’ He shaded his eyes as he peered towards the sun.
‘They seem to spring up overnight.’ She stood next to him, watching the flashes of colour at the whim of the wind in the wheat-coloured grass.
‘Very romantic,’ he said. She felt his eyes on her and turned her head to meet his gaze, becoming momentarily lost in their force field, drawn ever closer to him as if against her will. Ed stood so near she could feel the heat from his body, which made her remember what he looked like without a shirt.
Annalisa swallowed hard. She had to regain control and snap out of it. ‘Come on,’ she said gruffly, ‘the day is half over as it is.’
‘Yes, boss.’ He gave her a mock salute and she prickled with annoyance. Good. Much better to be mad at him than wanting to jump his bones.
‘It’s down the back.’ She led the way, flicking on the lights as she went.
‘Oh my god, is this your work?’ Ed stopped midway, staring at the doll houses in progress. ‘This little caravan is incredible.’ He looked up at her with an expression of amazement, as if he were seeing her for the first time.
‘Yeah, it’s okay.’ She turned away so he couldn’t see the high colour burning on her cheeks and began rifling about her storage boxes for the drop sheet.