“Her fever’s too high.”
“But that doesn’t mean anything. People beat the odds all the time when someone says something is hopeless.”
With a heavy sigh, he shook his head. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I know you don’t want to see your friend die, but the outcome isn’t always good for my patients.” He picked up Hazel’s purse and handed it to her. “Whatever affairs you need to get in order, I suggest you do so quickly. I don’t think she’ll make it through the night.” After a moment, he squeezed her hands. “I’m sorry. I wish I could give you better news.” He glanced at Hazel. “I need to pay another patient a visit. I won’t be longer than a half hour.”
Sadie nodded as he left the small building. Unsure of what else to do, she sat in the chair beside the bed and lifted her veil. The doctor would recognize her if he saw her face. But it wasn’t because he’d been at the brothel to enjoy the pleasures of the flesh. It’d been because he had tended to her twice—both times after she miscarried. She didn’t think he’d tell Madame Eleanor that she was there, but she didn’t dare take her chances.
Her gaze lowered to the purse in her hands. Biting her lower lip, she fought the urge to tug at the strings and find out about the woman resting in front of her. It was hard to avoid temptation but she managed to do it.
Focusing on the sick woman, she touched her hand. “You’ll think it’s silly, but I heard that a kind touch and word can do wonders when someone isn’t feeling well. So I thought I might as well talk to you. I don’t know if you remember me, but I was the woman at the restaurant who sat at your table. My name is Sadie. Sadie Miller. Um… You know, you shouldn’t pay the doctor any mind. He means well, of course, but miracles happen and you just might recover. Don’t give up. You just keep holding on. As long as you got the will to live, you can do it.”
Sadie blinked back her tears, her thoughts of the past drifting back to the corners of her mind as she heard the front door open. Her gaze went to Al who carried some split logs into the house.
“I wanted to get some wood ready,” he explained as he set a couple by the cookstove. “I put most of them against the house. Before long, we’ll need most of them.”
“I suppose that’s to be expected this far up north.” Nebraska had its share of cold winters, too, but of course she couldn’t tell him that.
Gilbert stirred in her lap and held his arms out to Al who walked over to him and picked him up. “How have things been between you two?” Al asked her.
“Good. He’s a very easygoing baby,” she replied. “He smiles and laughs all the time.”
“Aunt Betty says he’s one of the easiest babies she’s ever come across.”
Had she known anything about babies, she might have agreed with this woman. But there was no denying he was a very happy child. “I think the fact that he’s an easy baby has something to do with the way you treat him.”
“You think so?” he asked, bouncing the boy in his arms.
“Yes.” Then, in a lower voice, she added, “I can tell you’re a good man.” She’d certainly been around enough bad ones to know the difference. Clearing her throat, she rose from the chair. “I should probably take that recipe book and learn how to make something.”
“Are you sure you’re up to it? You had a long journey out here. I’d think you’d still be tired.”
“Aren’t you tired? You spent all morning chopping wood after making breakfast.”
He shrugged. “I’m used to doing everything for me and Gilbert.”
She frowned, wondering just how long his first wife had been dead. From the sound of it, it’d been quite a while. Maybe she died in childbirth. She’d heard of it happening. And out here where there wasn’t a doctor, it might be an even stronger possibility.
“Did I upset you?” Al asked, bringing her attention back to him.
“No.”
He relaxed. “Good. You frowned and I thought I said something wrong. You’ll have to forgive me. I’m not used to this kind of thing.”
“This kind of thing?”
“You know,” he motioned between them, “this whole husband and wife thing.”
“Oh?”
Then maybe he hadn’t been married. Maybe Gilbert was conceived and born out of wedlock. If that was the case, his mother could have likely died. Or maybe she ran off after he was born. How she wished Hazel had lived long enough to tell her more about him! She had so many questions and couldn’t ask any of them.
Forcing the irritation aside, she smiled at Al and gestured to the cookstove. “I’m rested enough. Besides, the sooner I learn how to cook, the better.”
“Alright.” He set Gilbert on the floor and handed him a toy. “I don’t expect him to actually play with it the whole time, but at least it’ll keep him busy for a little bit.”
She couldn’t help but smile as he ruffled the boy’s hair. The boy giggled then turned his attention to the toy.
Al joined her at the worktable. “He brings a lot of joy to my home. And now that you’re here, it’s even better.” He leaned forward and gave her a kiss so soft she almost missed it. His face turned red and he cleared his throat. “I was thinking we could have country fried steak, beans, and biscuits tonight.”
“That sounds wonderful.”
“I’ll be right back with it then.”
“Al,” she called out as he headed for the door.
He stopped and faced her. “Yes?”
“You don’t ever have to feel shy about kissing me. I enjoyed it.”
And it was true. When he kissed her, it was gentle and kind, so much like him. It wasn’t sloppy or wet or slimy. He was nothing like those men had been, and she appreciated that most about him.
He cleared his throat again and offered a shy smile before he left the house.
Chapter Six
That night Sadie removed her clothes once more and slipped into bed. Again, she used oil to make it easy for him if he wanted to engage in intimate relations. She wasn’t sure he’d want to be with her since he hadn’t the night before. Well, that wasn’t true. He had wanted to be with her. He just held back. She didn’t understand why. No man had ever held back before. But for some reason he had, and she knew it had something to do with his feelings for her. He cared about her. He didn’t see her as someone to use at his convenience.
So this was what being a wife was like. A wife was a person, someone cherished and protected. And she was in Al’s home where he provided her with food, shelter and clothing. Her mind went to the fabrics he’d bought her at the mercantile. She’d have to get started on the dress tomorrow. She could do simple designs. It wouldn’t be anything fancy. Maybe the woman he mentioned—Aunt Betty—would be able to teach her how to do a shirtwaist and skirt. What she’d make would look like a potato sack. She sighed. Maybe she should wait until she met Aunt Betty before attempting to sew anything.
Al came into the room and her attention went to him. This time she wasn’t quite so nervous. She knew him better now—had a better understanding of who he was. She still couldn’t watch him as he removed almost all of his clothing before he turned off the light in the kerosene lamp.
“Could you please leave a little light on?” she asked, hoping he didn’t detect the unease in her voice as she scanned the darkness.
“No, I don’t mind.”
She waited until the dim light lit up the room before she released her breath. Good. Now in case he wanted to consummate the marriage, she could focus on something to take her mind off of what he would do to her. As he got into the bed, she studied his expression. “Do you think I’m difficult to be with?”
His gaze met hers. “No. Why would you think that?”
She shrugged. Madame had often said any woman who dared tell a gentleman what to do deserved whatever she got for being difficult. And sometimes ‘whatever she got’ involved bruises or rape. Both things equally unpleasant. Both things that haunted her when she thought back on them.
Al shifted on the bed and
brushed back a tear that had fallen down her cheek. “What was your life like in Atlanta? Were your parents mean to you?”
Forcing back the other tears, she shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Who knew what Hazel’s life had been like? It’d do no good to even make up something about it. Besides, that didn’t seem fair to her memory. “I’m sorry, Al. I just want to focus on what we have.”
He didn’t answer right away, and that worried her. But then he brought her into his arms and encouraged her to settle her head on his shoulder. “Alright.”
She frowned. Surely, it couldn’t be that easy. “Alright?”
“I can’t make you tell me anything you don’t want to. The important thing is, you weren’t married in Atlanta.”
“No, I’ve never been married.”
He kissed the top of her head. “Good. I wouldn’t want some man trying to steal you from me.”
Noting the teasing tone in his voice, she chuckled. She didn’t know how he could make her feel better as easily as he did, but it was starting to occur to her that he could find a way to make her feel better, no matter what.
“If you ever want to tell me about Atlanta, I’d like to hear it, even if it’s not pretty,” he whispered. “I know life isn’t always pretty.”
Whatever bad things Hazel might have been through, there was no way it was worse than Sadie’s past. And Hazel must have understood that since she insisted Sadie marry Al.
“Would you like to meet Aunt Betty next week?” he asked.
Glad for the change of topic, she nodded. “I’d be nice to meet someone who can help me sew and cook.”
“She’ll do that, but she might also talk your ear off. The woman has the gift of gab.”
“Does she?”
“Yes. And she says she can tell if a person is good or not.”
Sadie didn’t like the sound of this. And since she’d already expressed an interest in seeing the woman, she couldn’t very well go back and say she changed her mind, not without arousing his suspicions. She swallowed then forced out, “She can?”
“She can’t tell anyone’s past, of course. But she says she gets a feeling about people. Says it’s something she just knows when she meets them.”
“Oh.”
“You have nothing to worry about. I already know you’re a good woman.”
She was anything but good, but she decided not to correct him.
“I hope I didn’t just make you nervous. She doesn’t pry into people’s business. She won’t try to get you to tell her about Atlanta.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting her,” she forced out.
“I can’t wait for her to meet you. I was so excited when I got your reply, I went straight over to her and told her that my bride would be coming in September.”
She couldn’t help the smile that curled her lips upward. Never in her life had she met anyone more transparent in their feelings. It was refreshing in a world of manipulation. With Al, what people saw was what they got. He didn’t play games nor was he distrusting of others. In many ways, he was like Gilbert…seeing the world through hope and embracing each moment with enthusiasm.
She closed her eyes and decided to enjoy this moment—this one sliver of time where it was just the two of them. A husband and wife sharing a contented experience. For years, she’d wondered what it was like to be a wife. And now she knew. It was a very sweet thing.
After a few minutes passed, she dared to brush her hand over his chest, thinking it might initiate lovemaking. He’d waited all through last night and today. Surely, he was anxious to consummate their marriage. A man, after all, had needs that demanded a woman’s attention. Maybe tonight they could get it over with. Then she wouldn’t have to keep waiting and wondering when he’d approach her for it.
When he didn’t respond to her touch, she lifted her head and was surprised to discover that he’d fallen asleep. She furrowed her eyebrows. She was naked. Surely, he felt her breasts and bare legs. Didn’t he want to do something about it?
But his chest rose up and down in a slow, steady rhythm that notified her that he was in deep sleep and would be so for quite some time. She lowered her head back on his chest and relaxed. Well, at least for tonight she was spared having to act like she enjoyed something she didn’t.
It’d been a nice day. She’d managed to change a diaper all on her own. She’d taken a bath after Al filled up her tub with hot water and left her alone in this room. She’d assisted Al with breakfast and supper. She’d fed Gilbert and held him while rocking in the chair.
And just now, she’d shared a nice conversation with him. It’d been the perfect ending to a perfect day. She didn’t think it was possible for a man to take such an interest in a woman without the pretense of getting into bed with her, but Al was proof that such men existed.
She smiled. Life here would be wonderful. Absolutely and completely wonderful.
***
Al shifted in his bed before dawn, aware that a warm body pressed intimately against him. He didn’t have to open his eyes to know he wasn’t dreaming. This was real. His arm was around Hazel’s shoulders, and she was fast asleep. Yesterday had, no doubt, taken its toll on her. She was still recovering from her long journey up here. He didn’t know how long it took her to get here from Atlanta, but he knew it was a tiring experience.
As much as he wanted to stay right there in bed with her, his arousal notified him that there was no way he could stay there. He hadn’t done anything to take care of himself on their wedding night after it became clear that the timing was wrong. And the timing was still wrong. Something wasn’t right, and though he’d tried to get her to tell him what it was, thinking that perhaps it had something to do with Atlanta, she wasn’t telling him.
She needed more time. That was all he knew. And he’d wait for her. But in the meantime, he wasn’t exactly a saint. He couldn’t go without doing something. She most likely would be upset if she knew what he needed to do to relieve the pressure building up inside of him. She had offered to be intimate with him, after all. She’d wonder why he refused her offer and then took care of his own needs. And he didn’t know if he could explain it to her so she’d understand.
The best time to do something was while she was still asleep. Then she wouldn’t know, and he could go through the day without the ache getting worse.
He got out of the bed and put on his pants, careful not to wake her. Then he left the bedroom. The house was quiet and dark. Only the stream of moonlight coming in through the window lit the place up. He went outside. The air was chilly, but he was so aroused that he hardly noticed. He made sure he was far enough from the house, so he wouldn’t be seen in case Hazel woke up and searched for him, before he sat on the ground. It wasn’t the most comfortable spot around, but it afforded him privacy and that’s what mattered.
He unbuttoned his pants and slid his hand over his erection. It wasn’t going to take long for him to find his release. He already knew it, especially since he’d come so close to making love to Hazel the other night. Even now, he could vividly recall the soft curve of her breasts, the taste of her nipples as he ran his tongue along them, and the way he’d felt against her patch of curls as he got ready to enter her.
With a low moan, he grasped his aching member and stroked it in the rhythm that would guarantee his pleasure. It was heavenly to think of her, to remember his exploration of her in the soft glow of the kerosene lamp. One day they would be together again, and when they did, it would be right. She would feel loved and cared for. She wouldn’t be doing it because it was her wifely duty or because she was afraid of doing it for the first time and just wanted to get it over with. When they finally came together, it would be because she loved him.
He moaned again and released his seed onto the ground. Out of breath, he waited for a couple minutes until his head cleared. No doubt, it would feel better when he was with her, but this would serve his purpose for the time being. It would buy him patience so he
could sleep in the same bed with her and hold her in his arms.
He didn’t want to give up holding her. That was one of his favorite parts of going to bed each night. It gave him something to look forward to, especially when the chores around the place became tedious. And it certainly was nice to kiss her. Everything about her was so lovely.
Noting the chill in the air, he buttoned his pants and rose to his feet. He returned to the cabin and made sure Gilbert was still asleep before he went to his bedroom. Hazel was curled up on her side, looking peaceful as she slept. He studied her for a moment. What would compel a woman so beautiful and pleasant to answer a mail-order bride ad? He couldn’t believe that she didn’t have men lined up to court her. Maybe someday she’d be comfortable enough to tell him.
He removed his pants and went to the bed. He didn’t think about how cool his skin was until he brought her into his arms and realized how warm she was. After a moment, he was assured he hadn’t woken her up and relaxed. Good.
Soon it would be time to wake up. But until then, he could go back to sleep and enjoy this time when he could hold her before the day’s demands forced him away from her. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. Then he settled his head on his pillow and closed his eyes. Within minutes, he drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Seven
A week later, Sadie pricked her finger on the needle and rubbed the sore spot with her thumb. It’d taken her a good fifteen minutes to put the thread through the tiny eye, and now it was proving to be a difficult task to work on the dress. The blue was such a nice color, too. It was the color of the sky, and she loved to look at the sky since she’d seen so much of it on the way to meet Al. It wasn’t red or purple or gray. Those colors were the worst. They made her feel trapped.
But the light blue was wonderful. Now that she had met Al and realized what a kind person he was, she could associate this color with hope, peace, and joy. For the first time since her mother sold her to Madame, she was happy.
The Mail Order Bride's Deception Page 5