He saved her from having to reply because he kissed her again. This time she responded to him, knowing if she didn’t, he would probably stop, and as much as she’d like him to tell her more about himself and what he and Hazel wrote to each other, there was still the pressing matter of the wedding night to resolve first.
He brought her into his arms and held her as he deepened the kiss. Had it not been for his arousal which rested against her abdomen, she might have enjoyed it. But she did her best to act as if she did, and he must have believed it since he didn’t stop.
Before long, he pursued a more intimate exploration of her body, the light providing more than enough opportunity to do so. He traced her breasts with his hands before he brought his mouth to her nipples to tease them. Though he was gentle, taking great care in touching her, she wasn’t really aware of what he was doing.
She let out moans when appropriate, as she’d been taught, but she focused on the drapes, noting the hints of a cobweb lining the top of them on the right side of the window. She didn’t know if she should remove the cobweb or not. It proved to be a good focal point during this act, and she knew this wouldn’t be the only time he’d want to do it.
Suddenly, his mouth was on her neck, his breathing heavy as his body wiggled between her legs. She gulped and gripped the pillow under her head. This was it. Soon—very soon—it’d be over. At least he wasn’t one of those men who felt the need to prove himself by trying to get her to climax. Like she could ever truly enjoy herself while doing this!
He lifted his head. “Hazel?”
It took her a moment to realize he was talking to her. And this forced her to look at him instead of focusing on the drapes. She caught the worried expression on his face and knew she was doing a horrible job of pretending to be the woman he expected to share his bed with tonight. “I’m sorry. I’m just…nervous, you know?”
“Maybe we should wait.”
She stopped him before he could get off of her. “No!” Recalling Gilbert who was sleeping in the other room, she lowered her voice. “I want to do this.” To get it over with. “Please? It’ll be worse if we wait.”
He winced. “Worse?”
“I meant, my nervousness will get worse.”
“I don’t know. I want this to be something you’ll enjoy.”
Then he’d be waiting forever because she’d never enjoy it, no matter how tender he was. And he was amazingly tender. Whatever connection he and Hazel made through their correspondence, he obviously cared about her.
“Something about this doesn’t feel right,” he said then got off of her. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do it. Not when it feels like I’m forcing you to do it.”
She sat up in the bed as he went to retrieve his underwear. “You’re not forcing me. I came here willingly.”
He slipped on his underwear and shook his head. “I know, but it’s not right.”
She stared at him, not believing her ears. Did he suspect she wasn’t really Hazel?
“I’m sorry, Hazel. I don’t want to make you more nervous than you already are, but maybe things will be better after we get to know each other.” He pulled open a drawer and pulled out one of his shirts. “Would you like something to wear?”
Realizing he really wasn’t going to follow through with the ordeal, she decided she’d better take the shirt.
He handed it to her before he turned down the wick on the kerosene lamp. Glancing her way, he asked, “Do you need some light to sleep?”
“Some, if you don’t mind.” Unable to look at him anymore, she buttoned the shirt, aware of the masculine scent associated with it.
When he settled back into the bed, he turned toward her. “Is it alright if I hold you?”
What a strange thing for a man to ask. He refused to consummate the marriage, but thought he could just hold her? She’d been around men. Once they touched a woman, they had to do everything else. So maybe she could get this whole thing over with after all. Relieved, she said, “Of course, you can hold me.”
He wrapped his arms around her and drew her into his embrace. He was stronger than most men, probably because he worked with his hands. Out here in the wilderness, he had to rely on his physical strength to support himself and his son. Now, he would be supporting her, too. From what she’d seen, he didn’t have much to his name, and she could understand why he wondered if Hazel could accept this new change. Hazel had been used to a privileged lifestyle, one with fancy gowns, servants, and other things money could buy.
Sadie thought back to her initial meeting with Hazel. Hazel had been wearing a beautiful dark blue dress, but it wasn’t the dress that initially caught her attention. She had been huddled in the corner of a restaurant, seeming as if she needed to get away from someone or something. That was what caught Sadie’s attention. She recognized a desperate plight when she saw one. It was how she felt every day of her life. And she couldn’t resist trying to rescue Hazel from whatever it was she was hiding from.
“Do you need help?” Sadie had asked as she approached the small table.
Sadie lifted the veil from her hat so the woman could see her face. When in public, Sadie didn’t dare reveal her true identity in case it brought shame to Madame Eleanor’s business. Prostitutes, after all, were to be discrete when entertaining men in the community who didn’t want to tarnish their reputation by being seen entering a brothel. In that case, Madame arranged a private meeting in a place of their choosing and dressed the prostitute in ladylike attire with a veil to conceal her identity, lest another man who didn’t mind frequenting a brothel recognize her and expose the secret rendezvous. Only prostitutes Madame trusted not to run off were allowed to go to such meetings, and Sadie welcomed the chance to get out into polite society, if even for an hour.
Now, as she watched Hazel wipe the tears from her eyes with a lace handkerchief, Sadie felt a pull to go to the woman and help her, to make sure she never ended up in a situation Sadie had been forced into. Hazel looked much too fragile to handle such a hardship.
“Do you need help?” Sadie repeated, this time using a louder voice among the talk going on around them.
Hazel looked up at her and then scanned the room.
Sadie quickly put down her veil and glanced behind her but didn’t see anyone who seemed interested in them. She turned back to Hazel and lifted the veil. “Do you need money? I can give you some.”
The restaurant owner had just paid her for her services and had left a significant tip, one in which she had planned to hide from Madame but could give to this poor woman who had an innocence about her.
Hazel shook her head. “No.”
Sadie waited for a moment, quickly debating her options. She could leave and never see Hazel again, but somehow that didn’t seem right. Though Hazel hadn’t extended the invitation, she sat across from her and leaned forward, careful to keep her voice low so none of the other patrons would overhear her. “You’re not from here. I can tell that from your Southern accent. I don’t mean to pry in your business, but you have no male companion and seem scared. Those are two things that could get you caught up in something you don’t want to be in.” Like a brothel, but she didn’t dare add that. The poor thing was frightened enough as it was.
“I know.” She wiped more tears away. “I’m trying to get to a young man who posted a mail-order bride ad. I have to get there.”
“I don’t understand,” Sadie whispered. “You said you have money. What’s stopping you from getting there?”
Hazel opened her mouth to speak but then she coughed, and one cough led to another and another. People started turning their attention to stare at them. Mindful of Madame, Sadie quickly covered her face with the veil. Rising to her feet, she asked for a glass of water and a man sitting at a nearby table handed her one.
She gave it to Hazel. “Here, drink this. It should help.”
Hazel tried to take a sip but couldn’t stop coughing long enough to swallow any water. She placed the handkerchief up to he
r mouth and when she lowered it, Sadie saw the blood on the cloth.
Alarmed, she ran over to Hazel and called out for someone to get a doctor.
Chapter Five
“Doctor… Someone get a doctor…”
Al stirred as his wife murmured for a doctor in her sleep. It took him a moment to wake up and realize she was only dreaming. He turned toward her and studied her in the morning light that filtered through the slit in the drapes and landed across her forehead. She had left his arms at some point in the middle of the night and was curled up on her side, hugging her legs and furrowing her eyebrows.
Leaning over her, he smiled and brushed aside a strand of auburn hair that fell across her eyes. Her hair was slightly messed up from her night’s sleep, but it in no way detracted from her appeal. He couldn’t help but recall the rest of her. Generous soft breasts, narrow waist, the auburn curls that hid her most secret place. He shifted to relieve the pressure of his arousal. Last night hadn’t gone the way he’d hoped, but he could in no way blame her. She hadn’t known a man before, and they’d only met yesterday. Even if she was afraid she’d get more nervous because he’d decided to wait, deep down, he knew this was for the best. It was what she needed.
“Doctor,” she whispered.
What could she be dreaming about? In his brief correspondence with her, there was no mention of a doctor. She said she’d grown up on a plantation and that her father was well-to-do. Her mother died a couple years earlier, and she said that was why his ad appealed to her. She wanted to come out and be Gilbert’s mother. Maybe as Hazel slept, she was thinking of the time the doctor came to visit her ailing mother.
Maybe seeing Gilbert brought back those memories and how much she wanted to fill in the gap she said a child would have if he didn’t have the kind of nurturing only a mother could give him. She’d warned him that she didn’t know the first thing about caring for babies, but she also assured him that she was more than happy to learn. He smiled. He had no doubt that she’d be a wonderful mother.
“Someone get the doctor,” she whispered again, taking Al’s attention off the letters she’d written him.
She opened her eyes. For a moment, she stared ahead of her as if not really seeing anything, and then she blinked and looked around the room. When her gaze finally turned in his direction, he smiled and brushed her cheek with his thumb. “Good morning.”
She offered a small smile in return. “Morning.”
Lowering his head, he gave her a soft kiss, and she stiffened slightly. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked, pulling away from her so he could get a better look at her face.
For a moment she seemed to have the same look in her eyes that a startled deer got when he went hunting, and it made him wonder even more about her past. Did men easily startle her or was it because she still wasn’t sure about him in particular? He reached forward and caressed her cheek. She didn’t seem to mind it so much if he gently touched her, and if he was right, she relaxed.
“I hope you’ll come to understand that you have nothing to fear with me,” he whispered.
“I know.”
Though she said those words, he wondered if she truly did understand it. But if she didn’t, was there anything he could say to make her? In this case, all he could do was show her through his actions. Hopefully in time, she would realize he was telling her the truth.
“It’s about time for Gilbert to wake up,” he said as he rose up from the bed.
“You don’t want to…to finish what you started last night?” she asked.
Of course he did, but one look at her was all he needed to know it wasn’t the right time. Not when it was apparent she wasn’t ready. “There’s no need to rush it. We have the rest of our lives to do it.” Then, in an effort to lighten the mood, he took out his razor and asked, “Do you prefer men who have a mustache, a beard, or shave everything off?”
As he hoped, her smile returned and there was a hint of mirth in her eyes. “What do you care what I prefer?”
“I never have to look at myself, but you’ll be stuck looking at me all the time. The least I can do is present myself in a way that’s suitable to you. So, what would you like me to do?”
“Since you asked, I like a man who shaves it all off.”
“You do?”
“Yes. I like seeing the whole face.”
“Then I shall do your bidding, my lady.”
He bowed and she giggled. With a grin, he turned his attention to shaving his face while she got dressed in the same clothes she had on the day before. From time to time, his gaze left the mirror in front of him so he could steal a glance at her, very much intrigued by the soft curves of her body. Even though he’d explored all of her the previous night, he didn’t think he’d ever get tired of seeing her without clothes on. She was much better looking without them on.
Once she was done, she cleared her throat and turned to face him. “What would you like to eat for breakfast?”
“Believe it or not, I make pancakes and bacon on most days.”
“You do?”
He set down his razor and washed his face. “Surprised?”
“Well…yes. I didn’t think men cooked.”
“It depends on the man. I do a lot of hunting and have learned to make some pretty tasty meals, if I do say so myself. Perhaps you’d like to sample a steak tonight?”
“You eat steak? But doesn’t that get expensive?”
“Not when I get it myself. One nice thing about living out here is that there’s plenty of animals to hunt. The hardest part is cutting up the meat.”
“I’ve never done anything like that.”
“I didn’t think the daughter of a wealthy land owner would.”
She turned her gaze from him and brushed her hair.
After he dressed for the day, he parted the drapes to let the sunlight in the room. Doing so permitted the light to touch the silky waves in Hazel’s hair as she was brushing it, accentuating the auburn highlights in it.
“It’s a shame you have to pull your hair back into a bun,” he said as he approached her.
She turned her head in his direction and he took in the lovely sight of her. With her long hair resting softly over her shoulders and the sunlight framing a halo around her head, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
“I’ve never seen a more breathtaking sight than you.” He reached out to touch her hair, marveling at how soft the strands were. “You’ll think it’s silly,” he added with a chuckle, “but you look like an angel. Not that I’ve seen an angel, but if I did, I imagine one would look just like you.”
Clearing her throat, she put the brush on the table and shook her head. “I’m not an angel, Al.”
“Oh, I know. None of us are. Like I said, it was silly.” He kissed her cheek. “I better get Gilbert up.”
“Do you want me to do that? I am the woman after all. Women are supposed to take care of children.”
“You just came here yesterday. You should take a couple days to rest. Take your time in getting ready.”
“You’re going to spoil me.”
He smiled. “Just wait until you do laundry. You won’t be thinking that then.”
Her lips turned up at his joke and he left the room to take care of Gilbert.
***
Later that morning, Sadie watched Al through the window as he chopped wood in the front yard. She didn’t understand it. He should have taken her up on her offer to enjoy intimate relations that morning. He hadn’t completed the act last night, and when she woke up, he’d been fully erect. So why did he insist on rejecting her offer? Didn’t all men want a woman, especially one who was willing to satisfy his needs?
With a shake of her head, she turned her attention back to Gilbert who was rocking back and forth in the rocking chair. He was chewing on a rattle and laughing. Curious, she scanned the room to see what was amusing him but didn’t see anything remotely funny. Even so, his giggling was infectious and she found herself c
huckling.
“You’re a real wonder, aren’t you?” she whispered.
She had no idea just how innocent babies were. She’d been like that once, too. Laughing and smiling because the world was brand new and full of many happy moments.
“I hope you’re always this happy, Gilbert.”
He looked her way, his large brown eyes focused on her.
She went over to him and knelt in front of him. She cupped his face in her hands, her smile growing wider despite the tears forming in her eyes. “I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you never discover how unkind this world can be. I want you to keep laughing.”
He babbled and touched her cheeks as if to wipe her tears away.
She picked him up and held him. After a while, she sat down and rocked in the chair, hoping he’d remain still and let her enjoy this moment. She had no idea holding a baby was so wonderful, but it was quickly becoming her favorite thing to do.
“You’re a lucky boy,” she told him as he settled against her breast. “Your father’s a good man. I didn’t think men like him existed. He could have used me, like other men. But he didn’t. Hazel couldn’t have picked someone better.”
And that only went to prove how smart Hazel had been. Whatever she’d been running from, she had chosen the right place to go to.
Resting her cheek against the top of Gilbert’s head, she whispered, “I’m sorry you didn’t make it, Hazel. But I’m glad you gave me a second chance.”
She closed her eyes, recalling the doctor’s bad news…
“I’m afraid she’s not going to make it,” he said as he washed his hands in the basin by the bed where Hazel slept.
“What’s wrong with her?” Sadie whispered, her veil still covering her face.
The doctor turned to her and shrugged. “She has pneumonia. I’m surprised she managed to walk into the restaurant.”
She watched as he placed a cool cloth on her forehead. Hazel winced but didn’t wake up, which was good since she didn’t have to go through any pain when she was sleeping. Sadie glanced at the bottles full of medicine lining the shelves and turned her attention back to the doctor. “Are you sure there’s nothing here that can help her? I know someone who had pneumonia and survived.”
The Mail Order Bride's Deception Page 4