Mark Z Danielewski

by House Of Leaves (pdf)

  415, 417, 437, 439, 464, 492, 522, 574, 578, 580

  walnut, 131

  war. 7, 34, 42, 80, 87, 98, 116, 142, 144, 180, 189, 299, 315, 331, 333, 339. 353, 367. 496, 499, 554, 574

  warm. 15-16, 34, 67-68, 78, 108, 133, 300, 348, 350, 515, 518, 523-524, 580, 604, 638 warrior, 595

  Washington. 33, 65, 81. 120, 122, 124, 134, 317, 327, 343, 396 waste, 121, 502 wastebasket, 11, 248 water, 5. 12, 14-16, 26. 30. 32, 63, 69. 91, 94-95, 101. 104-105, 119, 121-126, 132, 136-137, 150. 167, 247, 297-299, 306, 317, 321-322, 333, 341-342, 345, 351. 363, 383, 398, 401, 403, 408, 412, 424. 432, 434, 438-440, 465, 493, 499, 501, 507, 512, 520, 592, 608, 616, 636 wave, 50, 142, 180, 266, 299,

  374, 519, 523 wax, 11, 81-82, 84-86, 90-91. 94-96, 111, 118, 122.

  124-128, 132-133, 151, 164, 166. 208, 241-242, 271, 276, 281-282, 316-319, 326, 330, 351, 391, 396-397, 406, 606 weak, 133, 317, 328,

  367-368, 404, 618 Weatherby, 80, 95, 123, 380,

  403, 509 Weatherby 300 magnum, 80,

  380, 509 wedding, xix, 24, 349, 614 weed. 132, 246, 254 weight, 12, 16, 59, 298, 344. 357, 361, 371, 375. 396, 411-413, 424. 527, 629, 638

  Weinstein, Bob, 354 Weinstein, Harvey, 7 weird, xv. 6, 28, 36, 98, 106, 115-116, 144, 149, 151. 261, 267, 297, 324, 351, 361, 405. 411, 512 welder, 260

  West, 4, 46, 57, 90, 117, 136, 350, 378, 491-492, 502, 516, 518 western, 120, 122. 129, 142, 144, 152, 324-325, 378 West Virginia, 378 wet, 49, 54, 105, 132, 179, 262-263, 340, 403, 494. 587, 630 whale, 48, 361, 380, 503, 517 Whalestoe, v, 586, 588,

  608-610, 614, 629, 639, 643

  "What Some Have Thought,"

  354, 396, 523, 539 wheel, 118, 324, 424, 492,

  516, 585 wheelchair, 37, 55, 72, 97-98, 154, 160, 162, 187, 244, 314, 318, 342. 345, 378 while, xi, xxii, 3^1, 6. 8, 10, 14-15, 17, 21, 23-24, 26, 28-29, 33, 35-39, 43-49, 51, 56-57, 59-62, 68, 70, 73-74, 76, 82, 84-85, 87. 90-93, 98-99, 103-107, 109-111, 113-114, 116-118, 121, 124-126, 130, 137, 140, 149, 155, 157, 167, 179, 191, 208, 246-247, 249-250. 252, 262, 264, 266, 285, 300, 315, 317, 319, 322-323, 325. 330, 332-333, 335-336, 339, 347, 349-350, 355, 359, 365-366, 368-369, 372, 378, 381, 384-385, 387,

  395, 397, 399-400, 404-405, 407-408, 411, 414, 418, 421, 431, 437. 441, 444, 465, 468, 504-505, 510, 514-517, 519, 527, 542-543, 554, 574-576, 580, 618, 629, 636, 639, 641, 643

  whim, 77, 79. 105, 149-150, 516

  whine . . . DNE whirlpools, 297 whisper, xx, 48. 89. 99, 130, 266, 299, 329, 380, 472, 513, 577, 579, 607 white, iv, 28, 31, 38, 52, 65, 78. 97, 104, 109, 116-118, 127, 129-132, 180, 309, 314, 320, 324, 333, 341, 366-368, 399, 402, 406, 415, 417, 424, 466, 497, 504, 518, 524, 543, 558, 578, 592 whore . . . DNE whorehouse, 13, 20, 350 wife, xiv, 93, 110, 347, 353,

  396, 415, 505, 507-508, 578,585

  wild, xii. 26, 43, 72, 78, 99, 117, 131, 136, 140, 330, 380, 512, 518, 574, 587, 602

  wilderness, 23, 140, 347 will-o'-the-wisp. 131, 527 willow . . . DNE willowisp . . . DNE wind. 14. 16, 36, 52, 72, 88, 98, 104, 114, 118, 123, 297-298, 320, 322. 327, 357, 399, 413, 436, 464, 491, 493, 495, 499,

  515-516, 563, 574, 597, 599, 605, 607, 631 window, xiii, xix, 4, 12, 52. 63, 69, 92, 117, 144, 181, 189. 267-268, 345-346, 367, 381, 393, 395, 464, 468, 504, 516 windowless, 5, 59, 119, 362 wine, xix, xxi, 36, 63,

  116-117, 320, 577-578 wing, 36. 82, 120, 325, 367 winter, 5, 34, 57, 80,

  135-136, 297, 315-316, 409-411, 414, 518, 585, 602, 617 wire. 35. 37, 93. 123, 262,

  504. 642 Wisconsin, 5, 65, 80, 335 wish, 4, 23, 26, 72, 87, 96, 327, 349, 376, 380, 392, 554, 580, 589, 607, 630, 639, 641, 643 wisp, 488

  witch, 124, 135. 409, 638 with, iii, xi-xxiii, 3, 5-17, 20-23, 25-50, 52-64, 67-78, 80-87, 89-106, 108-111, 113-124, 126-140, 142-146, 149-151, 153-155, 158-159, 164, 166-167, 169, 171, 179-180, 183. 186-189, 192, 205, 208, 212, 215, 234, 246-253, 257, 261-262, 264-269, 274, 280, 285, 292, 296-300, 304, 306, 313-326, 328-337, 339-343. 346-359, 361, 363-374, 376, 378-381, 383-388, 392-395, 397-401, 403-420, 422, 424, 432, 437, 439-442, 464-468, 472, 491-497, 499-501, 503-505, 507-520, 522-523, 526-528, 531. 535, 542-547, 562, 574-580, 585, 587-588, 590-604, 607-609, 611, 614, 616-617, 625,628-629, 636-639, 641-643

  without, xvii, xx, 11, 15, 22, 27-29, 32-34, 41, 46. 54, 56-57, 60, 63, 71-72, 76-78, 80. 84. 95. 98, 102-103, 106, 110-111. 113, 121, 125-126, 132, 134-136, 140-142, 160, 167, 172, 180-181, 188, 247, 251-252, 256-258, 261-262, 266, 296, 299, 315-316, 323, 325-327, 336, 338, 340, 345, 350, 354, 357, 359, 361-364, 367-368, 371, 380, 395-398. 407, 415, 419, 422-423, 439, 468. 493,

  501, 503-504, 514, 520, 543, 545, 547, 559, 589, 594, 597, 599, 606, 608-609

  withstand. 527 witness, 27. 43, 187, 384,

  394, 421 wolf, 66, 313

  woman, xii, xxii, 11, 28, 39, 49-50, 58-59, 62. 100, 103, 107, 110, 140, 150. 162, 296, 314, 317, 319, 328, 349, 352, 358-359, 384, 389, 404, 408, 411,

  502, 514, 579, 593, 605, 617, 641

  womb, 249, 358 wood, xvi-xvii, 37, 61, 78,

  129, 150, 279, 506 woodpecker. 260 wool, 167, 403 word, iv. xxii, 3, 15-16, 23-24, 37-38, 41, 44-45, 47-50, 52, 54, 76, 85. 89, 94, 100, 102-106, 114, 124-126, 128-129, 131, 144-145, 160, 250, 257, 265, 268, 299, 317-320, 322, 330, 333, 345, 359, 366, 368, 379, 381, 383, 386. 397, 412, 415, 441, 492-493, 508, 520, 523,545-546, 575, 591, 598-599, 603, 606, 612, 617. 619, 630

  world, xvi, xviii, xx, 10, 17, 23, 25. 29, 32-33, 35. 39, 42-43, 47-48, 54. 58. 60. 64, 74. 77, 88. 90-91, 94, 98-100, 105, 111, 113,

  115, 122, 124, 130, 135, 138-140, 142-144, 147, 152, 154-155, 168, 176, 246, 249, 259, 318, 333, 339, 349, 361-362, 367-368, 378, 381, 386, 393, 405, 409, 414, 420, 441, 467. 483, 495, 502. 517-519, 543, 554, 563, 575, 580, 587, 591, 598, 600-601, 605, 613-614, 642

  World War II. 554 worm, 135

  wound, 126, 241-242, 396, 558

  wow. 16. 52-53. 63. 117,

  181, 491, 500 wrath, 129, 324, 381, 497,

  593,597 wreck, 104, 140, 149 wrench . . . DNE wrestle, 251 wretch, 577 wrist, 405, 518 write, 21, 34, 42, 50, 54-55,

  116, 131, 151, 248, 262, 362, 379-380, 387, 391,

  498, 502, 506. 545, 590, 596, 598, 602, 605, 611-613, 618, 625, 638, 640

  writing, 55, 76, 87, 112, 149, 265, 347, 349, 385-386, 389. 391, 407, 415-416,

  499, 503, 590, 611, 639 written, 19, 21-22, 31, 33,

  42, 57, 67. 72. 117. 120, 138, 140, 299, 322, 327-328, 350. 353. 358, 374, 376, 379, 388, 390-391, 394. 398. 407, 493, 498, 515, 522, 542, 546, 561, 576, 590, 597, 612, 635, 641 wrong, xvii, 12. 21. 29,

  31-32, 37. 42. 46. 68, 70,

  90, 95. 99, 105, 117-118. 142. 149, 159, 252, 265-268, 280, 297, 299, 349, 365, 379, 404-405, 502, 517, 545, 604, 613 Wyoming, 98

  xerox, 82, 326

  Y

  Yack!, 626

  Yahweh, 249

  Yale, 490

  yank . . . DNE

  yard, 38, 94, 126, 267, 512,

  524, 593, 600 yawn, 319, 417 yellow, 49, 56, 61, 68, 83, 129, 142, 268, 298, 340, 366, 376, 404, 411, 414, 507-508 yesterday, 33, 55, 113, 131, 296, 319-320, 512, 577, 579, 602, 612, 620, 622. 637

  yesteryear, 638 Yggdrasil, v, 709 you, ix, xii-xv, xvii-xxiii, 4—5, 9-16, 19-22, 26-27, 31-32, 35-36, 38-44, 46, 48-49, 51-53, 55-58, 61-63, 70, 72-73, 76-78, 81-83, 85-87, 89. 92-93, 95-97. 99-100, 103-108, 113-117. 119, 121, 123-127, 129, 137, 140. 142, 145, 149, 151, 157-158, 162, 164, 169, 206, 209, 248, 251, 253-261, 263-273, 277, 284, 296-297, 300, 314-315, 317, 319, 321. 323-326, 329. 333, 335-347, 349-365, 372, 378-381, 384, 389-394, 398, 402-403. 405, 408-409, 411-415, 420, 423, 468, 474, 477,

  492-494. 496-497, 500, 502-509, 511-512, 514, 518, 521, 524, 542-544, 546-547, 554, 561, 565, 574-575. 577-580, 587-609. 611-620. 622-625, 627-630, 635-643 youth. 21, 36, 66. 110-111, 129-130, 137-138, 144, 401, 493, 544, 546, 580, 591, 620, 622, 633

  z

  Zampano, v, xil-xxii, 4, 8, 16, 23. 31, 34-36, 38, 41, 55, 63, 67, 76-78, 98-100, 105, 107, 111, 113, 116, 134, 137, 145, 149, 206, 248, 262, 319. 323, 326-327, 336-339, 376, 401, 411, 421, 499, 501-502, 513-514, 516, 529, 537, 542, 554

  Zapr
uder, 193 Zeno, 120, 356, 360 zero, 360, 379, 532 zest, 21, 589 Zeus, 41. Ill, 134 zinn, 43

  Zippo, xvi, 324, 327 zone, 60, 315, 367 zonules, 43 zoom, 206

  Credits

  Grateful acknowledgment Is made to the following for permission to reprint previously published material:

  Farrar, Straus and Girous, LLC: Excerpt from "Chemin de Fer" from The Complete Poems 1927-1979 by Elizabeth Bishop. Copyright © 1979, 1983 by Alice Helen Methfessel. Reprinted by permission of Farrar. Straus and Giroux LLC.

  HarperCollins Publishers. Inc.. and Faber and Faber Ltd.: Excerpt from The Night Dances" from Ariel by Sylvia Plath. Copyright © 1966 by Ted Hughes. Rights outside the United States from Collected Poems by Sylvia Plath administered by Faber and Faber Ltd., London. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.. and Faber and Faber Ltd.

  Henry Holt and Company, LLC: Excerpts from The Most of It" by Robert Frost from The Poetry of Robert Frost, edited by Edward Con- nery La them. Copyright © 1942 by Robert Frost. Copyright © 1970 by Lesley Frost Ballantine. Copyright © 1969 by Henry Holt and Company. LLC. Reprinted by permission of Henry Holt and Company. LLC.

  New Directions Publishing Corporation and Faber and Faber Ltd.: "Canto CXVT from The Cantos of Ezra Pound by Ezra Pound. Copyright © 1934, 1938. 1948 by Ezra Pound. Rights in the United Kingdom administered by Faber and Faber Ltd., London. Reprinted by permission of New Directions Publishing Corporation and Faber and Faber Ltd.

  Simon Schuster. Inc.. and A.P. Watt Ltd: Excerpts from The Man and the Echo" by William Butler Yeats from The Poems of W. B. Yeats: A New Edition, edited by Richard J. Finneran. Copyright © 1940 by Georgie Yeats. Copyright renewed 1968 by Bertha Georgie Yeats, Michael Butler Yeats, and Anne Yeats. Rights outside the United States administered on behalf of Michael B. Yeats by A.P. Watt Ltd.. London. Reprinted by permission of Simon Schuster. Inc. and A.P. Watt Ltd.

  Vintage Books: Excerpt of poem from The Ink Dark Moon by Jane Hirsh- field and Mariko Aratami. Copyright © 1990 by Jane Hirshfield and Mariko Aratami. Reprinted by permission of Vintage Books, a division of Random House. Inc.

  Special thanks to the Talmor Zedactur Depositary for providing a VHS copy of "Exploration #4."

  All Interior photos by Andrew Bush except pages 549 662 captured by Gil Kofman and page 659 scanned by Tyler Martin.

  Y g g d

  r a s i 1

  What miracle is this? This giant tree. It stands ten thousand feet high But doesn't reach the ground. Still it stands. Its roots must hold the sky.

  O

  5In an effort to limit confusion, Mr. Truant's footnotes will appear in Courier font while Zampano's will appear in Times. We also wish to note here that we have never actually met Mr. Truant. All matters regarding the publication were addressed in letters or in rare instances over the phone. — The Editors

  6Lee Sinclair's "Degenerate" in Twentieth Century Dub, Dub edited by Tony Ross (New York: CCD Zeuxis Press, 1994), p. 57-91.

  "Not the first and definitely not the last time Zampano implies that The NeyidgQn RegQrd exists.

  my thoughts lost in another conversation, though something in her movement or perfume is disturbingly familiar, though how familiar is impossible to tell because by the time X realize she's someone I should know she's already gone, deep into the din, beyond the bar, taking with her any chance of recognition. Though she hasn't left. She's still there. Embracing shadows.

  Is that it?

  Had I been thinking of a woman?

  I don't know.

  I hope it doesn't matter.

  I have a terrifying feeling it does.

  45Zampano left the rest of this footnote buried beneath a particularly dark spill of ink. At least I'm assuming it's ink. Maybe it's not. Maybe it's something else. But then that's not really important. In some cases, I've managed to recover the lost text (see Chapter Nine). Here, however, I failed. Five lines gone along with the rest of Mr. Stabenrath.

  47Note that luckily in this chapter, Zampand penciled many of the translations for these Greek and Latin quotations into the margins. I've gone ahead and turned them into footnotes.

  ^Narcissus: "May I die before I give you power over me." Echo: "I give you power over me."

  outcry" returns as "love," "delays," "hours" and "king." 00 "Who will put an end to this great sadness?" "The hours passing" ^"Literature's rocky caves"54

  58Though we were ultimately unsuccessful, all efforts were made to determine who wrote the above verse. We apologize for this inconsistency. Anyone who can provide legitimate proof of authorship will be credited in future editions. — Ed.

  she remains by this festival of living, nothing reserved or even remotely ashamed about who she is or what she does, always talking blue streak to my boss about her three year old child, her boyfriend, her boyfriends, the hand jobs she gets extra for, eleven years of sobriety, her words always winding up the way it feels to wake up wide awake, everything about her awakening at every moment, alive to the world and its quirky opportunities, a sudden rite of spring, Thumper's spring, though spring's already sprung, rabbit rabbit, and now April's ruling April's looming April's fooling, around, in yet another round, for this year's ruling April fool.

  Yeah I know, I know. This shit's getting ridiculous.

  Even worse, I feel like I could continue in that vein for years, maybe even decades.

  And yet, listen to this, to date I've hardly said a word to her. Don't have a decent explanation for my silence either. Maybe it's my boss and his guard dog glare. Maybe it's her. I suspect it's her. Every time she visits (though I admit there haven't been that many visits), she overwhelms me. It doesn't matter that she always gives me a wink and sometimes even a full throated laugh when I call her "Thumper", "Hi Thumper" "Bye Thumper" the only words I can really muster, she still really only exists for me as a strange mixture of daydream and present day edge, by which I mean something without a past or a future, an icon or idyll of sorts, for some reason forbidden to me, but seductive beyond belief and probably relief, her image feeling permanently fixed within me, but not new, more like it's been there all along, even if I know that's not true, and come last night going so far as to entwine, entangle and finally completely replace her with the (—can't write the word—) of—

  —Thumper's flashing eyes, her aching lips, her heart-ending moans, those I had imagined, an ongoing list, so minute and distracting that long after, when the sheets were gathered, wet with sex, cold with

  rest, I did not know who lay beside me (--- ) and seeing this stranger,

  the vessel of my dreams, I withdrew to the toilet, to the shower, to my table, enough racket and detachment to communicate an unfair request, but poor her she heard it and without a word dressed, and without a smile requested a brush, and without a kiss left, leaving me alone to return to this passage where I discovered the beginnings of a sense long since taken and strewn, leading me away on what I guess amounts to another hopeless digression.

  Perhaps when I'm finished I'll remember what I'd hoped to say in the first place.66

  MMr. Truant declined to comment further on this particular passage. — Ed.

  70See Exhibit Six.

  71Consider Drew Bluth's "Summer's Passage" in Architectural Digest, v. 50, n. 10, October 1993, p. 30.

  Gonzales, Pierre Jahan, Catherine Leroy, Leonard Hekcl, Kim Van Tuoc, W.B. Bass Jr., Sean Flynn, Heng Ho, Dana Stone, Nguyen Dung, Landon K. Thorne II, Gerard Hebert, Michel Laurent, Robert Jackson Ellison, Put Sophan, Nguyen Trung Dinh, Huynh Van Tri, Neil K. Hulbert, James McJunkin, Le Dinh Du, Chhor Vuthi, Claude Arpin-Pont, Raymond Martinoff, Jean Peraud, Nguyen Huong Nam, Dickey Chapelle, Lanh Daunh Rar, Bryan Grigsby, Henri Huet, Huynh Thang My, Peter Ronald Van Thiei, Everette Dixie Reese, Jerry A. Rose, Oliver E. Noonan, Kim Savath, Bernard Moran, Kuoy Sarun, Do Van Vu, Nguyen Man Hieu, Charles Richard Eggleston, Sain Hel, Nguyen Oanh Liet, Dick Durance, Vu Van Giang, Bernard Kolenberg, Sou Vichith, Ronald D. Gallagher, Dan Dodd, Francois Sully, Kent Potter, Alfred Batungbaca
l, Dieter Bellendorf, Nick Mills, Ronald L. Haeberle, Terry Reynolds, Leroy Massie, Sam Castan, A1 Chang, Philip R. Boehme. And finally Eddie Adams, Charles Hoff, Larry Burrows, and Don McCullin ("American soldiers tending wounded child in a cellar of a house by candlelight, 1968").76

  76Alison Adrian Burns, another Zampano reader, told me this list was entirely random. With the possible exception of Brassai, Speen, Bush and Link, Zampano was not very familiar with photographers. "We just picked the names out of some books and magazines he had lying around," Burns told me. "I'd describe a picture or two and he'd say no or he'd say fine. A few times he just told me to choose a page and point. Hey, whatever he wanted to do. That was what I was there for. Sometimes though he just wanted to hear about the LA scene, what was happening, what wasn't, the gloss, the names of clubs and bars. That sort of thing. As far as I know, that list never got written down."

  79See Selwyn Hyrkas' "The End of City Life" in Interview, v. 25 October 1995, p. 54.

  97Marjorie Preece uses this one line to launch into her powerfully observed essay "The Loss of Authority: Holloway's Challenge" Kaos Journal, v. 32, September, 1996, p. 44. Preece wonderfully shows how

  She was still crying when she drove off.

  In the end, the whole thing had been so frantic and fast and strange and even sad in some ways, I completely forgot to ask her about the German phrase." I suppose I could call her (Lude has her number) but for some reason these days dialing seven let alone eleven numbers feels like an infinite stretch. The phone's right in front of me but it's out of reach. When it rings at four AM I don't answer it. All I have to do is extend my hand but I can't run that far. Sleep never really arrives. Not even rest. There's no satisfaction anymore. Morning shrinks space but leaves no message.