The Anathema

by Rawlins, Zachary

  “I think I deserve some credit for trying,” Anastasia complained. “I thought all boys loved Star Wars. Don’t tell me you prefer Star Trek?”

  “What?” Alex asked, shaking his head as Emily gently urged him over to his seat, right next to her. “No way. Star Wars has light sabers. Star Trek is for nerds and fags.”

  “Hey,” Timor objected, his grip tightening on the stem of his wine glass. “I like the old series. What’s wrong with that?”

  “William Shatner,” Alex said, sitting down. “You are seriously going to say that William Shatner running around in a unitard with an electric shaver for a gun is cooler than the Death Star? It blows up fucking planets, man.”

  “Wait a minute. Did you not see the last three movies? Anakin? Jar-Jar?”

  “Hey, c’mon. You don’t have to be mean. Besides, the second trilogy doesn’t count.”

  “It doesn’t? What about when they rereleased the original movies with all those new effects like dinosaurs everywhere and Greedo shooting first? Do those count?”

  “As much as Deep Space Nine does,” Alex countered.

  “Excuse me,” Emily said, shaking her head while she headed to the kitchen. “But would you boys stop now, please?”

  “Sorry,” Timor said, looking chastised.

  “Sorry,” Alex echoed.

  “Nice to see you again, Alex,” Therese prompted, glaring at him over the rim of her wine glass.

  “You too, Therese,” Alex said, doing his best to sound pleased. “How have you been?”

  “I’ve had better company for dinner.”

  Therese paused to give Anastasia a significant look before shrugging at Alex and returning to her drink. Anastasia ignored her politely. The ensuing silence seemed to be a contest as to whether the strain would get to Timor or Therese first. Anastasia seemed unmoved, while Alex was more concerned with the fact that his sweater and slacks made him the only person here who wasn’t well dressed. At least Therese, he noted with relief, had not bothered with niceties of hair and makeup. Anastasia, on the other hand, had apparently taken the opportunity to dress up even more than she normally did; as far as Alex could tell, she had opted for a sort of gothic-Little House on the Prairie-look, wearing a deep purple velvet dress, complete with corset and matching lipstick and eye shadow.

  Then Emily arrived with the food, to everyone’s relief. There was a salad, layered with radish slices and white, crumbly goat cheese; bread toasted with butter and herbs; small plates of mozzarella and purple-pink tomato, covered in balsamic vinegar. Alex had forgotten how good Emily’s cooking was, and he devoured everything that was put in front of him. Emily, he noticed, had even produced vegan dishes for Anastasia, who seemed to be unusually cheerful.

  The conversation started tentatively at first, and of course, Emily had to smooth the way, asking Timor a series of friendly questions that caused the boy to blush and sink further and further into his chair, until Therese exploded in raucous, semi-drunken laughter. Unexpectedly, Anastasia laughed as well, and things were more relaxed after that. His impression hadn’t been wrong, Alex discovered – Anastasia was in a better mood this evening than he had ever seen her previously.

  Emily cleared the plates, recruiting a reluctant Therese’s help, and then brought out the main course, roast chicken with fennel and rice for everyone but Anastasia, who got tiny pasta that looked like rice stuffed inside of a grilled bell pepper. The chicken was as good as he expected, savory and tender, and when Emily did little more than pick at her own, Alex assumed responsibility for it. At Anastasia’s insistence, he tried her pasta, which was actually quite good.

  Desert was a fruit torte that Anastasia had brought, with a crust that was reminiscent of graham cracker. Anastasia waited until everyone had moved on to coffee, except for Therese, who was still drinking.

  “I hope this has put us all on a better footing,” Anastasia said with apparent sincerity. “I will be the first to admit that this is an awkward situation that we find ourselves in, but I think that it would be easier if we were at least civil with each other. We don’t have to be friends, but if you decide to go along with my proposal, we will be spending a great deal of time together in the near future.”

  “Um…” Alex began, only to be cut off by Therese snorting.

  “Friends? Did you actually just say that?”

  Anastasia smiled back at her.

  “I said we didn’t have to be friends, Therese,” she said sweetly. “I think you misunderstood.”

  “Wait, wait,” Alex said, waving his arm, “what are you proposing? Wait, before that, how many people at this table know what is going on here? Show of hands?”

  Nothing happened for a second, and then Anastasia rolled her eyes, followed by Emily tentatively putting a hand up, as did Timor. Therese remained contemptuously silent, but she looked aware to Alex.

  “Okay, well, I always like that,” he said glumly. “Will there ever be a point when I am not the last one to find these things out?”

  “Probably not,” Anastasia said, her head cocked to the side, considering.

  “That was more of rhetorical question,” Alex said sadly.

  “I hate those. What is the point, after all? If you ask a question out loud then you should expect it to be answered,” Anastasia said firmly. Alex got the sense that this was something that really bothered her. “Anyway, you don’t have to get nervous, Alex. It’s not a plot or something. It’s more like a surprise. Tell me, Alex,” Anastasia said, pausing to sip at the herbal tea she apparently preferred to coffee, “what are you doing for Spring Break?”

  Alex tried to find an answer that fit the situation, but found the English language lacking. Instead, he made a weird, interrogative noise.

  “You are aware that in two weeks, just after midterms, we will all get three weeks off, correct?” Anastasia asked patiently.

  “Yes,” Alex said, pleased to have found his voice again. “But I haven’t given it much thought. It’s not like I have some place to go back to,” Alex said, shrugging because he knew it should have hurt, because people always expected him to feel that way. He didn’t really remember having a home, not one that he’d ever felt like going back to, so he didn’t miss it, either.

  “I’m sorry,” Emily said, automatically.

  “Right, it’s always more complicated for orphans,” Anastasia said, nodding. “So, like I said, what are you going to do?”

  “Well, Michael said I could stay at the Academy if I wanted to,” Alex said, not aware of how lame it sounded until he said it out loud. “You know, just train with him and hang out and stuff. He said a few people stay around.”

  “Trust me, there will be no one here, except for Gaul and Rebecca and similar types. Besides, you’ll just sleep the whole three weeks if no one looks after you. Since you clearly have no plans, allow me to suggest accompanying us.”

  “Wait, what? Who is ‘us’?”

  Emily leaned over to cover Alex’s hand with her own. He was too annoyed to put up with it now, and meant to pull his hand out from under, but for some reason, he didn’t. He tried one of the breathing exercises Michael had taught him to deal with stress, and was surprised to find that it worked.

  “Us is me and Therese, and Anastasia and company,” Emily said, looking him in the eyes with a hopeful expression and squeezing his hand. “It could be really cool, you know? We could finally get some time to hang out.”

  “Yeah,” Alex said uncertainly. “So, uh, where are you guys going?”

  “This island that I own,” Anastasia said offhandedly. “It is really quite nice. There is a house there with enough room for everyone. I’ve already sent some staff ahead to prepare. The food won’t be as good as tonight,” she said regretfully, “but I am certain that the experience, over all, will be a positive one.”

  “You have an island?”

  “Yes,” Anastasia said, nonplussed. “The Black Sun has a few, actually, but this one is mine. Inherited from my mother. I went the
re a great deal as a child.”

  “I see,” Alex said distantly.

  “Alex, it’ll have to be more fun than sitting around the Academy, right?” Emily pleaded. Alex didn’t want to disappoint her, but he felt uncomfortable with the entire situation.

  “Probably,” he allowed cautiously. “But, first I have to know – why would you be going on vacation with Anastasia, Emily? Or you, Therese?”

  “Well…”

  “I wonder the same thing myself,” Therese interjected, sounding angry and tipsy. “Don’t act so put out, kiddo. You’re hardly the only one who didn’t see this coming.”

  “Could I explain?” Anastasia offered. “Emily is coming so that she can be around you without interference. Therese is coming because as an agent of the Hegemony, she can’t pass up the opportunity to visit one of the private sanctums of the Black Sun. From an intelligence standpoint, it’s an offer she simply can’t refuse. Once her superiors heard about the offer, they insisted that she come along.”

  “Anastasia!” Emily said, stunned. “How could you say that?”

  “Ah,” Alex said, trying to process. There was a pause. “Blunt as always.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” Anastasia asked, shrugging. “I’ll just tell you, so you won’t waste the evening trying to formulating the question on your own – I am doing this because I always prefer diplomacy, and because I have been compensated appropriately for my time and effort. And also,” Anastasia added, averting her eyes, “I would prefer having someone besides Renton to go to the beach with. There is, in fact,” she added hastily, “a long tradition for this sort of thing. Many of the established families host orphans during the holidays. It’s not so unusual.”

  “Ah. I see,” Alex said slowly, thinking the exact opposite. He had never previously speculated that Anastasia even cared that Renton was creepy, or that she could have possibly owned a bathing suit. He pictured her in an old-timey full-body stocking and cap, and barely managed to stop himself from laughing aloud.

  “I don’t know what you are thinking, but cut it out,” Emily said sternly.

  “Right. You really have an island?”

  “I do,” Anastasia said modestly. “A small one.”

  “Not an evil island, or a cursed island, or an island where you do forbidden experiments or summon terrible elder gods?” Alex asked, leaning forward eagerly.

  “Not lately, no. I mostly go swimming in the ocean, or read in the library. I go for a walk in the evenings, and watch the stars come out. I spent my third, fifth, and eleventh Christmas’s there and more than half of my summers. I learned to fly a kite there. I read The Stranger underneath an old tree behind the house when I was eleven and thought it was amazing. My sisters have a rope swing. There is a jetty with a few small sailboats. Are you getting the idea, Alex?” Anastasia asked. “This isn’t a ploy. I’m inviting you to come somewhere that I like to go, a place that is important to me.”

  “Who are you bringing? Who is going to be there?”

  “Renton, Timor, Katya, Svetlana, and a number of staff members you haven’t met. Also, my little sisters may be there,” Anastasia said, in an offhand manner. “I am bringing my cook, too, but we have a modern, fully stocked kitchen, Emily, and I hope you will indulge me at least once…”

  “Sure!” Emily chirped. “I like to cook, really!”

  “Can I bring someone?” Alex asked cautiously.

  “Probably, though it would be difficult if you request someone else from the Hegemony,” Anastasia said. “Of course, since Eerie is doing Field Study over break and Vivik is going back home, I’m not sure who you intend on inviting. Steve, perhaps?”

  Alex swore to himself silently. Of course Vivik would be going back home, he had a huge family back in his unpronounceable hometown. In addition, he hadn’t managed to talk to Eerie all week. Somehow, he never seemed to remember he needed to speak to her until after class started, and by the time it was over, she was already gone.

  “Oh yeah,” Alex admitted. “I forgot that Vivik would be going home.”

  “Well, it isn’t like you have to decide this instant,” Anastasia said lightly, dabbing the sides of her lips with her napkin, and then folding it neatly and putting it down on the table. “But, do tell me soon. Timor? We should probably be going. Can I offer you a ride back to Operations, Therese?”

  “Oh no,” Therese said firmly, ignoring Emily’s horrified stare. “I’m staying.”

  Anastasia and Timor left shortly after, Anastasia and Emily whispering to each other briefly, as if they were confidants, close friends. Alex was seriously starting to wonder what was going on. Therese, to his amazement, went upstairs without a word. This left Emily and him, sitting on the couch in the living room side by side, with nothing that Alex felt like talking about.

  “Are you ready to tell me what exactly is going on? Because this was not the most pleasant surprise I’ve ever had,” he said, careful to smile and make sure that his tone sounded light, because he didn’t want her to start crying again.

  “I know,” Emily said, sighing, “I didn’t want to do it like that, but Anastasia insisted.”

  Alex waited and watched while Emily worked up the nerve to continue, her hand inching towards his and then retreating in such a tremendous struggle that he took pity on her and grabbed it himself. She smiled contentedly, took a deep breath, and then started to explain.

  “You realize that I am on the outs with the Hegemony, right? My father called two nights ago and threatened to pull me from school. Chandi and Hope are all but convinced that I am liar and a failure.”

  “I thought maybe I took care of that problem for you the other day,” Alex said carefully.

  Emily sighed again, more loudly, and Alex started to feel bad for her, for the position he had put her in.

  “I told you not to do that, Alex. If anything, you forced the issue, though I know that you meant well. Tell me, what do you think I would gain by you forcing the Hegemony to keep me here at the Academy? What do you think would happen to me once I graduate, and you aren’t around anymore to lean on them on my behalf?”

  “Ah,” Alex said, shamefaced. “I didn’t think about that.”

  “You have that tendency. You aren’t exactly the best at noticing what’s going on around you, particularly when you’re all worked up.”

  Emily patted his hand and smiled at him.

  “Don’t get me wrong, it was a sweet gesture, and I’m touched that you were looking out for me, but this whole situation is something that I have to resolve myself.” Emily paused and took a healthy sip from her wine glass, something he noticed her doing all evening, which he didn’t think of as normal behavior for her. “I know what you think of Anastasia, and I don’t blame you, but she is weirdly reasonable. She’s always been fair with me, even nice, in her own way. I think that maybe she’s a bit lonely. The price the Hegemony wanted from you to keep me here was too high, Alex, anyway, whatever it was. I know, I’ve been paying off favors to those bastards for years, and you always end up further in their debt. Anastasia’s help was far more affordable.”

  “What did you have to give her in return?”

  “Nothing important, if it doesn’t work out,” Emily said, waving her hand dismissively while she finished her glass. “If it does, well, then what I promised her is something she would have had already.”

  “You’re talking in riddles,” Alex complained. “That isn’t like you. Just tell me what’s up.”

  “I want you to come with me to the island, that is what,” Emily said sternly. “Come on, it will be fun, I promise. She has an island! How cool is that? You – you are going to come with me, right? Unless,” she said, her eyes downcast, “maybe you don’t want to. Though,” she pouted, “you did take Eerie to San Francisco already…”

  “I didn’t really take her there,” Alex protested. “Besides, that wasn’t… ah, whatever. I’m probably gonna come.”

  “Really?” Emily demanded, grabbing Alex by th
e shoulders and pinning him against the couch. “You aren’t just saying that? Because I’m going to be angry if you get my hopes up and then turn out just to be joking.”

  Alex meant to push her away, but by the time he got his hands up to do so, he didn’t really feel like doing that. His hands seemed to fall almost naturally onto her back, one running through her long, blonde hair, which was as a soft as it looked.

  “No, I’m serious. But my mind’s not totally made up yet.”

  “Oh?” Emily said, sitting down comfortably in his lap, her arms around his neck. “You still need convincing?”

  “I might,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close before he’d even thought about what he was doing. She squealed, steadied herself against his shoulder, and then bent down so that she could kiss him. Their lips met eagerly, then he remembered what Eerie had taught him, and did his best to move along with the flow of things, to be tender, not to let his excitement overwhelm him.

  He felt a twinge of guilt, thinking about kissing Eerie, but he was so much more aware of the girl sitting in his lap, warm and inviting and smelling faintly of flowers, that it didn’t seem to matter that much. It was all something that could be worked out later, he thought hazily. And Emily was so very here. Her lips were warm, and he could feel her heart beat when he ran his fingers along the graceful line of her neck. Alex slowly lost track of everything except the way her skin felt, and the warmth of her breath against his neck.

  Therese made enough noise stumbling down the hall and descending the stairs that Emily had time to straighten her clothing and to take a seat at a more discreet distance from Alex. Therese walked in, bleary eyed, and then sat down on the couch on the other side of Alex.

  “Do you need something, Therese?” Emily asked, her voice saccharine.