Broken Wings
Page 11
Pamela said nothing. She looked down at her hands and kept her thoughts to herself.
“We’d better go,” Daniel said, starting the car. “We’ve got to get back before all those baby squirrels of yours go hungry.”
* * * *
Fifteen minutes later, Daniel pulled his Jeep in front of Pamela’s little cottage. It was dark out, but a waxing quarter moon was rising in the sky, blanketing the trees and surrounding property with a soft glow. The dogs seemed not the least bit interested in the car, and continued to snooze on the front porch.
“I thought you were in good hands with that bunch.” Daniel nodded to the five sleeping canines. “Maybe I should install an alarm in this place.” He glimpsed up at the cottage. “I’ll worry about you out here alone at night.”
Pamela grabbed her shopping bags from the back seat and climbed out of the car. “I was just as alone and vulnerable before you came along, Daniel. And I will be the same way after you have gone.”
Daniel cocked his head to the side as he studied her. “What makes you think I’m leaving?”
She looked over at him and shrugged. “I just don’t want you to feel like you’re obligated, that’s all. Things change and people move on.”
“I’m not Bob, Pamela. I don’t run out on people I care about when they need me.”
Holding her bags close to her chest, Pamela walked around the front of the Jeep to his side of the vehicle. “Is that what you are doing, Daniel? Hanging around, buying me all of these things,” she held up the bags, “because you think I need you?”
“No, that’s not what I’m doing, Pamela. Bob ran out on you when your lupus got bad. I’m just saying I won’t do the same thing.” He moved closer to her and rubbed his fingers along her smooth, pale cheek. “You don’t have to keep me at a distance because you think I’m going to hightail it out of here as soon as you get sick. I’m not that kind of man.”
“That’s not the…” Pamela fought back the lump forming in her throat. “I’m not keeping you at a distance,” she insisted as she walked to the front porch.
Daniel laughed his warm deep laugh behind her. “Yes, you are. You keep everyone at a distance. Me, Carol, probably even Bob. The only ones you let in under that thick hide of yours are covered with fur and don’t have any expectations.”
She turned to face him, jutting her chin out defiantly. “Maybe I’ve been burned once too often by people. Animals are safer to love because they don’t lie or let you down,” Pamela said, raising her voice.
“You’re not the only person on the face of the planet who has been hurt, Pamela,” he countered, raising his voice to match hers. “You will not be repeating your past mistakes if you allow yourself to open up to someone.”
All the dogs on the porch sat up and nervously observed the quarreling humans.
“And I suppose you’re saying I should open myself to you…and then what?” She felt her anger take control. “Sleep with you so you can get a good return on your investment?”
“Now what a minute!” he yelled as he bounded up the steps to her side. “Don’t you think for one minute that I have done all of this just to sleep with you.” He waved at the bags in her arms.
“No, not all of it,” she said, putting a cool tone of disregard into her voice. “I’m sure there was an element of pity mixed in with your plans. Sleep with the poor, sick, repressed wildlife lady. Show her a good time and then you have fulfilled your charitable quota for this lifetime.” She backed away from him and placed her hand on the doorknob. “Go back to the bar, Daniel. I’m sure there you can find women who are easier to bed and a lot more interested in your selfish acts of philanthropy,” she snapped.
“Jesus!” He ran his hands through his thick hair. “When you push someone away you do it with both hands. Stop trying to sling arrows at me because you don’t feel you’re worthy of anyone’s kindness or regard.”
She stood at the door, staring at him, not sure if she should slap him or sic the dogs on his ass.
She sighed and felt the fight inside of her fade away. Suddenly, she was tired; tired of second-guessing people’s true intentions, tired of hiding her hurt emotions, and tired of being disappointed. She took in a deep breath and could smell the early traces of white clover in the air. Spring was here and her world was re-awakening. But deep inside, Pamela longed for winter to return. Winter was safe. Expectations, like the tender petals on a flower, were only trampled upon by the violent storms of spring.
She gazed into Daniel’s face. “I’m not pushing you away. I just know what you will do in the end, Daniel. It’s what everyone has done in my life. They walk away.”
He leaned in closer to her and touched his forehead to hers. “I’m not going to do that. Despite what you may think, you and I are a lot alike, Pamela. We are both birds afraid to fly in case we should fall and break our wings. But broken wings heal. And every bird must fly, even if it’s only for a brief moment. But in that moment, they get their chance to spread their wings and try to touch the sky.”
She gently nodded her head. “I’m sorry. I’m not good at this stuff. I was never very good at dating.”
He smiled and wrapped his arm about her shoulders. “No one was ever good at dating. Dating was something you did in high school on weekends and after football games. You were more interested in learning about yourself than someone else. At this stage in our lives, I think it would be safe to call what we have a relationship.”
Pamela frowned. “And how is a relationship different from dating?”
He removed his arm from her shoulders and took a step back from her. “Because in a relationship you already know who you are, and are committed to learning more about someone else.”
“And you have learned that I’m a repressed, frightened woman who finds animals safer than people, right?”
He held up his hands to her in surrender. “No, we are not going there again. Let’s just say I’m still trying to figure you out.”
Pamela pulled her keys out of her purse and opened the front door. She then turned to Daniel, who was still standing on the porch behind her. “Aren’t you coming in?”
He shook his head. “I think I should head back to the city.” He took a step toward her. “I start my new job tomorrow and they have me on a tight schedule for the next few days until I get to know the bar. So it might be a while before I can get back and do some more work on the place.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “But I will definitely be back next Saturday to pick you up for our date.”
“Date?”
“The benefit,” he explained. “I plan on making that our first formal date.”
Pamela smiled. “All right, Daniel.”
He turned to go and she watched as he made his way toward his Jeep in the bright moonlight.
“And take care of my flying squirrel,” he shouted from the car. “I expect great things from my little Pamela.”
Chapter 8
The next several days seemed to drag on like a boring lecture in a room with no exits. Pamela kept busy taking in four baby opossums, a litter of fox kits, and a few more baby squirrels. But the time absorbed with feeding, cleaning, and caring for the animals did not seem to help her restless mind. No matter the hour in the day, her thoughts would find their way back to Daniel. He would call her cell phone in the afternoons before his shift began at work. They would share a few brief exchanges about the monotony of their days and then he would have to go. The short phone calls only seemed to compound her growing anxiety. And as the night of the benefit drew closer, the more anxious Pamela became.
“What is wrong with you?” Carol asked the morning of the benefit. They were going over the end of the month figures at the kitchen counter. “You’ve been bouncing off the walls since I got here.”
Pamela picked up a pencil from the counter and started rhythmically tapping it against the tile. “You know I hate doing accounting, and I have got a lot to do today.”
Carol smiled as she
watched Pamela’s antics. “Could your newfound fidgeting be because of your hot date tonight with the criminal?”
Pamela put the pencil down and said, “It’s not a date.”
“He is taking you out to dinner before the benefit, and to his place after the benefit. Right?” Carol questioned.
“So?” Pamela reached for the pencil again.
“Honey, I don’t care what part of the world you come from, that’s a date.” Carol took the pencil out of her hand. “So why are you nervous about tonight?”
Pamela ran her hand over her forehead. “I’m not nervous, I’m just a little apprehensive. You know I don’t like leaving the place for so long.”
“Ian and I will be here to babysit. We will feed everyone and watch over everything while you’re gone. Even got my overnight bag waiting in the car, just in case you decide not to come home until morning,” Carol added with a smug grin.
“Are you sure you’re Scott’s daughter?” Pamela asked, shaking her head. “Your father was never like this.”
Carol laughed. “Not according to my mother!”
“Well, I’m sure we will be home late, but not that late.”
“Pamie, tell me you are not going to be a prude tonight and turn down that man’s invitation to join him in between the sheets?” she asked with a hint of disappointment in her voice.
Pamela glared at her. “Jesus, Carol! Tonight is about the facility, not me and Daniel.”
Carol sat back on her stool and folded her arms across her chest. “Are you kidding me? Of course tonight is about the two of you. Why do you think he went to all the trouble to buy you that hot dress and shoes that even Imelda would drool over? It’s because he wants you. He wants you to be his. Look, men are like animals in the first place. Instead of peeing on you to announce to the world that you are theirs, they have to come up with more creative, and less gross, ways to make that statement. So they buy you things; clothes, shoes, condo’s, anything that will show people what you are worth to them and that they have put their mark on you.”
Pamela frowned. “I think you’re reading way too much into this.”
“Excuse me, I’ve been there when you two are together. I see the way the man looks at you and trust me, tonight he plans on plowing your fields until the till breaks!”
“Oh, God!” Pamela laid her head down on the mound of receipts in front of her. “You need help,” she mumbled into the pile of papers.
Carol patted her back. “And you need to get laid.”
Pamela sat up and looked over at Carol. “I give up. And what if you are right and he does want to sleep with me, what do I do?”
“Are you asking me what you should do technically, or are we just speaking of the general, should I or shouldn’t I scenario?”
“Carol!”
“All right, I know your technique may be rusty, but it’s just like riding a bike. Once you’ve got a naked man beside you, it all comes back. And I definitely vote yes to jumping his bones.” She paused and took in Pamela’s frantic eyes. “It will be all right. When two people care about each other, it’s always all right. Let him in, Pamie. For once, forget the past and embrace the future without reservation.” She grinned. “And I want all of the details in the morning.”
* * * *
Pamela was standing in front of her bedroom mirror trying to put the last touches on her make up, but her trembling hand was making the mascara wand more of an instrument of torture than something to enhance beauty. Fed up, she put away her make up and gave her reflection a thorough going over. Satisfied with the results, Pamela stepped back and admired her efforts. Her make up was subtle but enhanced her creamy white skin and deep gray eyes. She had even applied some foundation to the scratches on her arms and chest, lessening their appearance. Her shoulder length blond hair was wrapped up in a French twist that Carol had helped her pin. Her dress shimmered in the light of her bedroom as it clung to her figure. Even the high heel of her shoes seemed to add a dash of sexiness to the outfit by accentuating the curve of her slender legs. She patted away the butterflies in her belly and took in a deep breath, then glanced over to her bed and examined the overnight bag she had packed earlier. She had come up with several rationalizations for bringing the bag, but only one reason made sense to her, and it was the only excuse she feared embracing.
The sound of a car coming down the drive made her stomach twist into knots. She walked to her bedroom window and looked past the tree where Lester was perched to see a black limousine making its way to her front door.
“Oh, shit!” she whispered as she walked quickly to her bedroom door.
Carol and a tall, redheaded young man were peering out the living room window when Pamela stepped up behind them.
“Is that what I think it is?” Pamela said in a shaky voice.
Carol turned around and gave a low whistle. “Damn woman. You look good.”
The lanky man beside Carol turned, and Pamela could not help but notice how his hazel eyes almost popped out of his head. “Pamela, you look prettier than a blue ribbon at the cattle show,” he pronounced in a southern accent.
Pamela stared at Ian for a moment. “Thank you, Ian. I think,” she replied.
Ian was a good bit taller than Carol, but Pamela felt his freckled complexion seemed to compliment Carol’s pale skin. He had a square face, kind round eyes, a long nose, and a dimple in the center of his chin.
“Looks like your boyfriend went all out,” Carol said as she pointed to the window. “He must be a hell of a bartender to be able to shell out for a limo.”
“Carol, would you stop calling him my boyfriend?” Pamela asserted.
“Would you prefer I call him your gigolo?”
Ian giggled as Pamela’s gray eyes tore into the young woman’s round face.
A knock on the door made Pamela almost jump out of her skin. She wasn’t ready for this. She couldn’t answer the door and see Daniel standing there. She stood glued to her spot on the floor, afraid to move.
Carol quickly went to the door and opened it. There standing in the yellow glow of the setting sun was Daniel. He was dressed in a tailored double-breasted tux. His dark hair was neatly sleeked back and he was carrying a single red rose.
“Aww!” Carol crooned. “He brought you a rose.” She turned to Ian. “Look honey, you should do that.”
Ian stepped closer to Carol’s side, frowning.
Daniel walked in the door and handed Carol the rose. “Actually, it’s for you,” he clarified. “A thank you for taking over for an evening.”
Carol took the rose and then elbowed her boyfriend.
Daniel turned and saw Pamela standing behind him.
Pamela felt her stomach tighten when she saw him in his tuxedo. The smell of his spicy cologne filled the air around her and made her knees go weak. She watched as his dark eyes analyzed the curves of her body. The look on the man’s face made every fiber of her being burn with an unfamiliar desire.
Pamela was the first to break the silence in the room. “Daniel, you look very handsome,” she said, in a wavering voice.
“I knew that was the right dress,” he murmured to her with a devilish grin.
“I feel like I should break out a Polaroid and snap pictures like it’s your first prom,” Carol teased.
Pamela glared at Carol.
“Daniel,” Carol said, ignoring Pamela as she shoved Ian in front of him. “This is my boyfriend, Ian Toujaque.”
The two men shook hands as Carol beamed with pride.
Daniel turned to the kitchen table. “Where’s my girl?” he asked, eagerly surveying the containers on the table.
Pamela walked over to the table and pulled out the container with the flying squirrel in it.
“How is she doing?” he questioned.
“She’s still not eating as I would like,” Pamela told him as she lifted the tiny creature out of the container. “She is too docile and still pretty lethargic, but she seems to be holding her own.”
“No. I’m still not sure what we are dealing with but I will keep an eye on her and let you know if anything changes.”
Daniel took the small flying squirrel from Pamela’s hands and raised it to his face. He gave the bundle of fur a careful going over.
“A man after your own heart,” Carol remarked to Pamela as she watched Daniel place the flyer back in her container.
Pamela nervously eyed Daniel. “You got a limousine for the evening?”
“I only got it to take us to dinner, and then on to the benefit. I figured after the benefit we could walk to my place in the Quarter. It isn’t far from the Roosevelt Hotel.”
“An evening stroll in the French Quarter, how romantic,” Carol cooed and then elbowed Ian again. “How come we never do that?”
Daniel gave Ian a sympathetic smile. He then took Pamela’s elbow. “Perhaps we should go before Ian starts getting bruises.”
Pamela nodded, went over to the kitchen table, and picked up her black shawl and purse. She hesitated for a moment as an image of the overnight bag popped into her head. She took a deep breath and decided it might look better to leave the bag on her bed; she did not want it to appear as if she were planning for anything, and definitely did not want to give him any ideas.
She turned to Daniel. “I’m ready.”
They walked out the front door and toward the long black limousine waiting in the driveway. Daniel opened the back door and waited as Pamela made her way inside the car. Just as Daniel was about to climb in after her, a shout came from the direction of the front door.
“Wait a minute, you forgot something,” Carol yelled as she ran toward the limousine.
When she reached the back door of the limousine, Carol shoved the overnight bag inside.
“You forgot this,” she added, winking at Pamela.
Before Pamela could respond, Carol ran quickly back inside of the house.