As Long as I Have Breath
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As Long as I Have Breath: Serving God with Purpose in the Later Years
© 2021 Bruce Gordon. All rights reserved.
A Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188
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All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise marked, are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright © 2001 by CrosswayBibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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ISBN 978-1-64607-002-2
ISBN 978-1-68428-286-9 (ePub); ISBN 978-1-68428-287-6 (Kindle); ISBN 978-1-68428-285-2 (Apple)
Build: 2020-12-18 16:55:08 EPUB 3.0
This book is dedicated to my wife, Denise, who continues to lead with me to stay relevant. As long as we have breath . . .
Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1: Releasing the Past
Chapter 2: Meaningful Aging
Chapter 3: The Value of Reflection
Chapter 4: Charcoal Fire Experiences
Chapter 5: Strategic Cheriths
Chapter 6: Five Traps to Avoid
Chapter 7: And if Not
Chapter 8: Winning the War with Your Mind
Chapter 9: Attributes of a Godly Mentor
Chapter 10: Kavanah
Chapter 11: Bet Av
Chapter 12: Perseverance
Chapter 13: Walking in God’s Stride
Chapter 14: Victory over Strongholds
Chapter 15: The Remedy for Insecurity
Chapter 16: Fighting Fear
Chapter 17: Being a Great Follower
Chapter 18: A Changing Retirement
Chapter 19: God’s Calling
Chapter 20: Life’s Transitional Stages
Chapter 21: You Are Strategic
Chapter 22: How Do You Define Legacy?
Chapter 23: Finishing Well
Chapter 24: Are Your Bags Packed?
Chapter 25: Transitioning to Retirement
Chapter 26: Creativity and Play
Chapter 27: The Importance of Relationships
Chapter 28: My Turf
Chapter 29: The DOP Principle
Chapter 30: Parenting Adult Children
Chapter 31: Your Role in the Local Church
Chapter 32: Addressing Anxiety
Chapter 33: Facing the Three Giants
Chapter 34: Purpose and Calling
Chapter 35: Easy to Give, Difficult to Receive
Chapter 36: A Friend’s Story
Chapter 37: The Gift of Being a Grandparent
Chapter 38: The Challenges of Being a Caregiver
Chapter 39: Living with Heaven in Sight
Chapter 40: The Growing Value of Peace
Chapter 41: The Value of Thankfulness
Chapter 42: Help! I Feel Like an Outsider
Chapter 43: Investing in Your Marriage
Chapter 44: Coping with Dismay
Chapter 45: Leaving a Career Legacy
Chapter 46: Five Promises
Chapter 47: O Come, Let Us Adore Him
Chapter 48: Does God Really Care about Me?
Chapter 49: Handing Over the Keys
Chapter 50: Frames of Reference
Chapter 51: Bearer of Hope
Chapter 52: Stepping Forward into the Good Night
INTRODUCTION
I HAVE A PASSION, which is why I wrote these weekly reflections.
I have a couple of strong beliefs about getting old.
I believe that aging matters.
Our society has insidiously influenced our thinking so that we believe that only youth matters. We make too much of youthfulness and too little of age. Society tells us that aging means you are to enjoy life and that at long last you have freedom to do so. Society disregards the notion that we can make a significant contribution to the world in our later years. This simply isn’t so!
I also believe that God’s Word is not limited by age. There are many examples where He directs someone to great things in what we would refer to as the autumn or even the winter season of life. Abraham at ninety-nine is an example of someone who made his greatest impact in his later years.
Dr. Roger Birkman, the founder of Birkman International, was a mentor, confidant, and friend to me. One August afternoon my phone rang, and it was Roger. I had never met the man, but he had been tracking my journey. As I write these words this is still emotional for me, that this international leader would reach out. He was seventy-eight years old at that point and asked me to help take Birkman International to a new level because Roger felt that God was asking him to do more. That phone call began a seventeen-year journey that continued until God took Roger home.
On one occasion, Roger and I were in Surabaya, Indonesia, where we were speaking together at an international conference. Roger and I shared a passion for staying fit, and that day we were side by side on treadmills in the fitness room of a magnificent hotel looking over the city. As he walked—I was trying my best to keep up with him—he looked over at me and said, “Bruce, your best days are ahead of you. Only look back to gain perspective for what is ahead and what God has done in your life and what He wants to do.”
I was breathing harder than Roger; I looked at him and responded, “Roger, that goes against what society says, that you especially, and myself coming up behind you, should relax and enjoy these years after age fifty-five.”
In his infamous way, Roger, without missing a step, looked over at me and responded, “Bruce, where in the world are we? Are you enjoying what God is doing with you right now? I know I am!”
There are many examples of men and women who had their greatest impact in their later years. Roger Birkman is one of them, and I want to be one as well.
My consulting practice has focused on transitional leadership. Organizations have life cycles. Leaders ask, “Where in the life cycle is the organization I lead?” The answer to that question is not about age or how long the organization has been in operation. Rather, the important thing is to continually assess what newness looks like.
We, as human beings, are the same. This devotional battles the mindset that says that once we reach retirement age we should relax, rest, and play golf—our usefulness already rendered. Instead, our later years are the best time to find newness of purpose, a revitalized zest for living, and a worthwhile mission to accomplish.
There are different schools of thought on how many days it takes to develop new habits. Whatever the number, I’m giving you 365 days to impact your societal programming, to prove that your greatest days can be ahead of you.
I have also written these devoti
onals to spur you on and to provide food for thought because more than ever before the 55+ demographic needs to take a stand for what we believe and be an example to those who are following us. We are still to be engaged in the battle rather than just spectators in the stands.
As I write this introduction, we are in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. What will the world be like postpandemic? I have just written an article on the skills and leadership competencies that the new normal of the postpandemic world will need. Leaders and influencers will need to come alongside those whose lives have been completely disrupted. What had been effective leadership before COVID-19 will need to be rethought as people reenter their daily routines from a place of fear, anxiety, trauma, loss, and grief.
You in your 55+ years are so crucial to those who are younger in the new era we are moving into. You were made for more! As long as you have breath, you can serve the Lord with vigor and purpose.
1
Releasing the Past
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 CORINTHIANS 5:17
SOMEONE IN THE 55+ DEMOGRAPHIC recently said to me that even though God had forgiven her, she could never forgive herself. I asked, “Never?” Never is a long time.
This unforgiveness had become an ever-tightening noose around this woman’s neck because it kept her trapped in the past.
I wonder how many of you are living with regret.
One of Satan’s strategies is to keep us focused on the failures and disappointments of the past. This creates tentacles of shame that entangle us.
I don’t want to discount the feelings you may have; however, allow me to introduce another perspective and four steps to victory over this battle in light of 2 Corinthians 5:17. May this four-step process silence the voice in your mind—this voice is not from God.
Acknowledge that you haven’t forgiven yourself. Write the details of the situation on a sheet of paper.
Ask God to forgive you for not forgiving yourself.
Read Romans 8:1-2. Choose to believe in and accept the freedom that comes from the power of the Holy Spirit living within you.
Choose to forgive yourself. Destroy the piece of paper to represent your forgiveness of yourself. One person told me he tied it to a rock and threw it into the ocean.
Questions
In what area of your life do you struggle to forgive yourself?
What is keeping you from offering forgiveness to yourself?
Review the four steps above and journal as needed.
Connect with a friend who can help you work through this. Be available to help your friend work through similar areas in his or her life.
2
Meaningful Aging
Even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you.
I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.
ISAIAH 46:4
IN THE GROCERY STORE RECENTLY, I watched middle-aged folks become frustrated to the point of anger with an elderly man who was having difficulty hearing how much he owed the cashier. The middle-aged folks became quite rude. It seemed they felt that the elderly man was a nuisance for keeping them from their productive lives.
Today, people live in the present, and life’s all about being productive. Older people are marginalized because they’re not valued in the present any longer. I was recently reading about ageism. The authors compared ageism to racism and pointed out that the elderly frequently experience discrimination.
I think about this man who was struggling at the cashier counter. I wonder about what roles he had in the past and how his experience must have changed over time. He is a person and deserves dignity and respect. He also deserves patience because now it takes him more time to hear and process what’s going on around him.
If we really are to care for and value older people, what countercultural thinking and steps do we need to take?
Here are six that come to mind.
We need to rethink what productivity means.
We need to look for opportunities to be productive in different ways.
We need to have a sense of self-worth.
We need to be able to express ourselves and tell our stories from the past. Younger people need to hear our stories.
We need to set goals so we have a sense of purpose.
We need to manage change. Many people struggle with change. Yet as we age, we are faced with increasing change.
Yes, aging is a progressive loss of capability, yet it is natural and can have meaning. God states that aging does have meaning and that He is always there for us on this journey.
Questions
Why do you think western cultures push older people to the margins of society?
How would you define ageism?
How do we need to adapt to care for those who are older?
How would you define meaningful aging?
3
The Value of Reflection
Those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.
ROMANS 8:5
OVER THE YEARS I’ve been privileged to have a few people consistently speak into my life. At the same time, I have spoken into theirs. I always come away the richer.
Every so often one of these mentors asks me a question or two that causes me to stop in my tracks and to ponder, a process which spreads over some weeks.
This happened again a few weeks ago. I was having coffee with a man who is a few years older than me and yet owns and operates a very active and vibrant consulting firm. He and I make it a point to encourage each other in our professional and spiritual leadership.
On this occasion he put his coffee down, looked intently into my eyes, and said, “Bruce, I have five questions for you.”
I grabbed my journal and said, “Shoot.”
Pondering these questions helped me to reflect, to focus, and to be honest with myself. It was both freeing and challenging.
Life is short. I want God’s best for myself and for you as well. Self-reflection can give you the insight you need to adjust your thinking and your actions so that your life is focused in the right direction. Setting your mind on the things of the Spirit means being influenced by the Spirit who lives inside of you. It means aligning yourself with the Spirit.
I leave the same five questions for you to reflect on.
Questions
What are you doing well that you can leverage?
What isn’t working that you need to change?
What is missing that you need to add?
What is confusing that you need to clarify?
How can you be influenced by the Spirit? What would this look like, practically, in your life?
4
Charcoal Fire Experiences
His mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning.
LAMENTATIONS 3:22-23
THE CHURCH OF THE Primacy of Saint Peter is a modest Franciscan chapel located at Tabgha on the northwest shore of the Sea of Galilee. My wife, Denise, and I have been there twice. It’s a holy place. It’s here where Jesus reinstated Peter after Peter had denied knowing Jesus three times.
The scene opens as the disciples, who were fishing, saw Jesus on the shore at Tabgha preparing breakfast. I love how specific the text is. It says that Jesus was using a charcoal fire.
There is one other charcoal fire mentioned in Scripture, and that is in John 18:18. It’s the fire where Peter stopped to warm himself the night he denied Jesus.
Charcoal fires have a distinct smell to them. In my memory, I can smell it as I write these words.
What did Jesus do? He used one of Peter’s senses to bring him back to the night of his denial. As Peter smelled this fire, he would have relived the events that happened around the other fire. One can only imagine the battle of the mind Peter was fighting as he dealt with the shame of his betrayal.
Jesus was deliberate i
n how He gently, and yet firmly, reinstated Peter. Three times Jesus asks, “Do you love me?” Three times Peter responds, “Yes, you know I do.” Three times Jesus calls Peter to serve Him.
We know Peter was used in a supernatural way to begin establishing the church from this point forward. I wonder how many times Peter would either return to Tabgha physically or in his mind as he faced tremendous odds.
If you feel that you have let Jesus down or failed Him, let Him reinstate you. Ask for His forgiveness. Trust in His forgiveness, forgive yourself, and move ahead with your Rabbi.
My friend, you are accepted and loved by Jesus. There is nothing that can separate you from the love of the Father. Lamentations 3:23 says that God gives us new mercies each day. He forgives and forgets, and today He wants you to move forward in strength and newness.
Questions
As you reflect on Peter’s charcoal fire experience, have you had similar experiences that bring you back to a time in the past?
In what ways do you need to be reinstated with Jesus?
What did Peter need to face in order to move forward? What do you need to face in order to move forward in your life?
Who do you need to forgive?
5
Strategic Cheriths
If God is for us, who can be against us?
ROMANS 8:31
OVER THE PAST DECADES I have intently watched many people experience change and transition. Some brought it on themselves while others seemed to wake up one morning in the middle of it.
The same has been true for my wife, Denise, and me. One day we are leading a national ministry, the next we are unemployed. These times of transition can be difficult.