Jamie and the Magic Whistle

by Helen Brain, Nicky Webb, Rico Schacherl

  “Why do you have to be so disgusting?” she said, fondling his fluffy ears. “You’re as bad as Toby. We’re going to train you, aren’t we? You’re going to win the Best Behaved Dog Competition. Mrs Jones is going to shake hands with us both – you’ll be able to shake hands on command then – and she’ll say, ‘Any girl who can train a dog so efficiently is a Natural Born Leader and deserves to be head girl of the junior school. Well done, Jamie Waine. You are an example to others’.”

  “Ah, here you are,” Arabella said, coming into the lounge. Arabella looked like she had something bad to say. Jamie’s heart sank.

  “Jamie love, now I don’t want you to get all upset and grumpy,” she said, holding up her hands like a traffic cop stopping a car, “but Aunt Sylvia has just called …”

  “Aw, no, Mom, please!” shouted Jamie. “No way! Don’t tell me Fleaflea is coming to stay! No way!”

  “Now, Jamie,” said Arabella, trying to sound soothing, but ending up sounding a little hysterical. “I said, don’t get all grumpy. And don’t you dare call her Fleaflea when she’s here. It’s Felicity or Fifi. And she’s only coming for a week while her mother goes on a poetry conference.”

  “A week!” stormed Jamie. “It may as well be a lifetime, it’s so awful! Why don’t you just shoot me now and put me out of my misery?”

  She stomped off back to her room and slammed her door as hard as she could.

  Her irritating, whiny cousin, Fleaflea, was coming for a WHOLE week.

  She needed to speak to Pandora ASAP. This was an emergency. They needed to make a plan to get rid of her.

  8

  Fifi arrives

  The next afternoon after school Jamie and Pandora were sitting in the lounge painting their nails and eating cupcakes. Pandora had made them – she was a whizz baker and they were double chocolate with a thick dollop of chocolate icing on the top.

  A screeching, scraping noise in the driveway interrupted them. Jamie looked out of the window and saw Aunt Sylvia easing her Volkswagen Passat into the driveway. The exhaust pipe was dragging along the driveway.

  “Oh no!” groaned Jamie. “It’s Felicity! Aargh!”

  Pandora leaned over to peep out the window. “Pity that whole car doesn’t just blow up,” she said, pointing to the sparks coming from the back.

  “PAN!” laughed Jamie, trying to sound horrified.

  The car stopped and Aunt Sylvia opened the door to let Felicity out. She was cuddling her miniature Yorkie, Snoopy, and even from the window Jamie could see that her cousin’s nose was red and she had cotton wool in one ear hole.

  Aunt Sylvia opened the boot and dragged out a bag of groceries and a box of medicines, and the R7 000 blender she had bought to make Fifi’s special smoothies.

  “Yeugh,” moaned Jamie. “She’s bringing all her organic, sugar-free, wheat-free food with her. I can’t stand it – my mother makes me eat all that awful stuff when she stays.”

  Pandora patted Jamie sympathetically. “Sorry for you. Should I take the cupcakes home?”

  Jamie gave her a dirty look. “Ha, ha, very funny.”

  By now Arabella was in the driveway hugging Aunt Sylvia and Felicity. “Jamie!” she called. “Your cousin is here.”

  Jamie and Pandora looked at each other and stayed where they were. But that didn’t stop Felicity. Next moment she was standing next to the couch, breathing noisily through her mouth.

  Jamie tried to squash the irritation she felt whenever she looked at her cousin. Everything about her drooped. Her mousy pigtails flopped over her sticking-out ears. Her eyelids, behind her thick spectacles, were half open. Her arms hung limply from her shoulders like they belonged to some other person altogether. Even her feet leaned in like two exhausted pigeons propping each other up.

  “Hi, Jamie, hi, Pamela,” she squeaked.

  “My name is Pandora,” snapped Pan.

  “My mommy thayth your name ith Pamela,” lisped Fifi.

  “She doesn’t like that name,” Jamie said. “We told you last time you were here, and the time before that, and the time before that too.”

  Felicity turned red and looked like she was about to cry. Aunt Sylvia had a sixth sense – she could always tell when Fifi was about to cry. She came wafting in, all mauve flowing skirt and stringy neck.

  “Now girls, don’t be mean, see?” she said in her blocked-nose voice. “Fifi is just a little girl, and you mustn’t be mean to her, see? She has allergies.”

  “Would you like a cupcake, Felicity,” asked Pan, offering her the plate.

  “You know she can’t eat that,” snapped Aunt Sylvia, grabbing Fifi and squeezing her in a hug. “She has allergies.”

  She looked into the little girl’s face. “Now you be a good girl, precious. You try and have a nice time. Mommy won’t be gone long – just seven sleeps and Mommy will be back, see? If you don’t feel well, you tell Auntie Arabella. If anyone is mean to you, you tell her straight away, see?” With one more anxious glance towards the box of medicines she’d put on the hall table, Aunt Sylvia picked up her handbag and left.

  “Look after Fifi nicely, girls,” Arabella said when the Passat had driven away. “I have to get back to the surgery. And get rid of the cupcakes. It’s not fair to eat them in front of Fifi. You know she’s got allergies.”

  Jamie sighed. It was going to be a long week.

  9

  Operation Get Rid of Fifi

  Toby came bouncing into the lounge. He’d just fetched his bottle of scabs from the professor’s lab. He’d made his first sale – to Darrel Legg in grade 11, who was trying to get out of swimming in the gala. “Hello, Fleaflea,” he said, grabbing a cupcake. “Why are you crying?”

  “Becauthe I can’t have a cupcake.”

  “Can I have yours?”

  She gazed at him with adoring eyes. “Yeth, Toby.”

  “Hey, those are ours!” shouted Jamie as Toby ran off upstairs with the whole plate of cupcakes.

  “You’ve dropped thomething,” called Fifi, picking up a small bottle from the floor. “Toby, you dropped thith.”

  Jamie grabbed it from her.

  “What ITH that?” Fifi asked.

  “It looks like scabs,” said Pan.

  “Can’t be. I know he’s gross, but nobody is THAT gross.”

  Toby had heard the word scabs. He came running down the stairs. “Hey, give that here.”

  Jamie shoved the bottle in her bra. “Not until you tell us what they are.”

  Toby stopped dead. There was no way he was going within a metre of a bra. They terrified him. “Fine, then,” he snapped. “They’re chemical warfare. They’re my secret weapon.”

  The girls stared at him blankly. He sighed.

  “They’re chickenpox scabs, dummy. I got them from Rory Rinkelbaker in grade 8. I’m selling them to people who want to be sick on sports day.”

  “That’s disgusting,” yelped Jamie, throwing the bottle on the floor.

  “Rory Rinkelbaker!” shrieked Pan. “Double disgusting.”

  Fifi picked up the bottle and stared at the scabs. She seemed mesmerised. “I haven’t had chickenpoxth,” she murmured. “I’ve had meathleth and mumpth and rubella and German meathleth and tonthilitith and gangrene …”

  “Rubbish,” said Jamie. “You haven’t had gangrene. You mean gastro.”

  “No, I don’t,” she wailed. “I know what I’ve had. My mommy writeth it down in a book. I’ve had gangrene, I promith.”

  “Give them to me, Fleaflea,” said Toby.

  She handed them over with a simper.

  Pandora had had enough. “I think my au pair has come to pick me up,” she said, looking at her phone messages hopefully.

  “I’ll walk you to the gate,” Jamie sighed. “You’ve got to help me,” she begged as they walked down the driveway. “I’ll never survive a whole week of this.”

  “There’s only one solution I can think of,” said Pan. “We’ve got to steal Toby’s scabs and infect Fifi with them.” />
  “Then Aunt Sylvia will have to come home and look after her,” grinned Jamie. “Brilliant idea, Pan.”

  10

  Ilona is a show-off

  “What do YOU want?” Ilona asked with a sniff when Jamie and Pan came into the surgery after school two days later.

  “Nothing,” said Jamie sweetly, trying to sidle next to the treat stand, so she could “borrow” a packet of dog biltong. She was going to pay for them all when she’d won the R1 000 prize.

  “I hear you’ve got a magic whistle,” Pandora said, trying to distract Ilona. “It must be pretty special if Dr Knight invented it.”

  Ilona nodded briskly. “It certainly is. My Justus is one hundred percent obedient now. He sits and he stays. He can complete the obstacle course in record time – here, look. I recorded him on my phone.”

  While Ilona was busy finding the clip, Jamie quietly slipped the bag of treats into her pocket.

  “I thaw that! I’m going to tell on you,” huffed Fifi. She’d followed them in and was standing with her hands on her hips, glaring at Jamie. “I’m going to tell Auntie Arabella, and the will be very croth.”

  Pandora turned her fiercest stare on Fifi, and the little girl started to droop. Her lip quivered.

  Oh no, thought Jamie. If she cries, I’m in trouble. “Have you shown Ilona how clever Snoopy is?” she asked. “She knows so many tricks.” She patted the little dog’s furry ears.

  Fifi brightened up. “Thall I enter her into the competithion? I’ve never won a thingle thing before.”

  “Humph,” said Ilona, who’d worked out how to play a video on her phone at last. “I bet my bottom dollar she’s not as clever as Justus? Just look at what he can do.”

  Jamie watched with sinking heart as Ilona showed them the video. Justus was a champion. There was no doubt about it. Fungi was never going to be as good as that. Not with a million bags of treats.

  “Next week Dr Knight will see just how well his whistle works,” said Ilona smugly. “And guess what? He’s bringing a TV crew to video the competition.”

  “Dr Knight?” asked Fifi. “The famouth Dr Knight from the TV?”

  Ilona looked smug. “That’s the one. I used to work for him. I’d even go so far as to say we are friends. Close friends.”

  “Wow, that ith awethome,” said Fifi, gazing admiringly at Ilona. She clambered up onto the desk and sat next to her. “Can you tell me all about him, pleathe?”

  Jamie signalled to Pan, and they crept out of the surgery. They had to hurry up and infect Fifi with the chickenpox scabs before she drove them all crazy. They had an hour to search Toby’s bedroom before he came home from school.

  11

  Scab search

  “Watch out, this is a danger zone,” whispered Jamie as she opened the door to Toby’s bedroom.

  “Yuck,” muttered Pan, trying not to gag. She held her nose. “What IS that smell?”

  “That, dear friend, is the disgusting smell of teenage boy,” said Jamie. “You are SO lucky not to have brothers.”

  “It smells like dirty socks and farts,” muttered Pan. “Do we have to go inside?” She peered around the door.

  “Hey, hey, hello, sexy!”

  Pan jumped and made a dash for the passage. “He’s in there. You said he was still at school.”

  “No, silly,” laughed Jamie, pushing the door open. “That’s Hawking.”

  “Gee, he gets me every time,” Pan said, checking out the African Grey parrot in the cage. He was staring at himself in the tiny mirror hanging from a chain. “He sounds just like Toby.”

  “You know what’s hilarious?” Jamie giggled. “Toby has looked in the mirror and said, ‘Hey, sexy’ to himself so often that Hawking has copied him.” She mimed her brother posing in front of the dressing table. “Hey, sexy,” she said, showing off her muscles and winking.

  “You’re God’s Gift to the Universe,” squawked Hawking. “Hey, sexy.”

  “Thanks hey, Hawking,” Pan grinned. She couldn’t wait to tell the girls at school about the parrot.

  “Come on,” Jamie said. “Enough with the parrot. We need to start looking for the scabs.”

  Pan pulled open the top drawer of Toby’s desk. An awful smell came out of it. “Sis,” she yelped, picking up a pencil and using it to push aside a pair of sweaty socks and a mouldy packet of sandwiches. “There’s about five rotten school lunches here.”

  She was staring in disbelief at the screen saver on Toby’s computer. “Is that a photo of a pimple?”

  “Probably. He’s taking a photo of the same one every day to see how it grows.”

  “Do we have to search his room?” Pan asked, holding her nose. “I mean, how badly do we want those scabs really?” She wrinkled her nose as she looked around at the piles of dirty clothes falling out of the cupboard, the unmade bed, the schoolbooks lying on the floor between the empty pizza boxes and apple cores, the mugs with mould growing in them.

  Quickly Jamie opened the other drawers and scratched around in them. “Nope, the bottle’s not here. It could be in the other cupboard. Or under the bed.”

  “No ways am I opening that cupboard door,” shrieked Pan. “There’s probably something revolting living in there by now.”

  “I’m sexy. I’m God’s gift,” squawked Hawking. “I drive you wild,” and he cackled Toby’s laugh. It started low and ended in a squeak, just like Toby’s did for months when his voice was breaking.

  Helpless with laughter the girls gave up. “You’re right,” said Jamie. “We’ll have to think up Plan B.”

  12

  Aboo gets worse

  Jamie was packing shelves for Ilona in the reception area. She was trying to earn a little extra pocket money. She had just put the last bag of Superpal dog food on the shelf when Mr Kumar came in. He looked like he hadn’t slept for a week.

  “Hello, Mrs Ilona,” he said as politely as ever. “I have an appointment with Dr Arabella.”

  Jamie ran across to him. “How is Aboo, Mr Kumar? Is he any better? Where is he?”

  Mr Kumar’s eyes became glassy, as if he was about to cry. “Oh, Jamie dear, he looks worse than ever. He’s in the car.” Mr Kumar gulped. “In fact, I think I may have to … to put him down.”

  “Oh no, Mr Kumar. I’m sure my mom can do SOMETHING,” Jamie said desperately.

  Mr Kumar shook his head. He was too choked up to speak.

  Ilona called Unathi, and he and Mr Kumar carried Aboo straight through to Arabella. Jamie hung around outside the door, trying to hear what her mother was saying.

  A few minutes later the door swung open suddenly and Mr Kumar came out with tears streaming down his cheeks. He left without saying goodbye to Ilona or Jamie.

  Jamie went through to her mother. “What’s going on, Mom? Please don’t tell me you’re going to put Aboo down.”

  Arabella looked up from the computer screen. “Not yet, Jamie. I still need to find out what’s wrong with him, but it is starting to look like I may have to do it soon.”

  Jamie could feel herself starting to cry. “Mom, that’s terrible. I couldn’t bear it. Aboo is so sweet and Mr Kumar loves him. He will be devastated.”

  Arabella put her arm around Jamie. “I know, love. This is the part of my job that I hate. Sometimes, though, we have to do what’s right for the animal, even when it feels so wrong for us. I need to take some X-rays of Aboo. You can help me.”

  Jamie and Arabella went through to the back of the surgery. Aboo was in a cage and Jamie went over to stroke him and talk to him while her mother and Unathi got the X-ray room ready. When Arabella came back she drew up a sedative for Aboo, and Jamie held him and talked to him while her mother gave him the injection that would make him sleep.

  Aboo fell asleep in about five minutes and snored and drooled as only a boxer can. Unathi and Arabella took him through to the X-ray room.

  Jamie waited to see what they would find. It seemed to take forever before Arabella eventually emerged with the X-rays. She pu
t them on the light box and stared at them intently.

  Jamie couldn’t hold on any longer. “What do you see, Mom?”

  Arabella sighed. “Nothing, Jamie. Nothing at all.”

  Jamie looked puzzled. “Surely that’s good?”

  “No,” said Arabella, biting her lip. “It means that the problem probably lies in his nerves. Something called a degenerative myelopathy. It is incurable and likely to get worse. In fact, it might even spread to his front legs.” Arabella shook her head sadly. “This condition normally affects older dogs. It’s very rare in such a young dog.”

  Jamie burst into tears. “You’re not going to put him down yet, Mom, please?” she begged.

  “No,” said Arabella. “I’m going to send his X-rays away to a specialist for a second opinion and we can make a decision after that. I think we’ll keep him here until we know exactly what’s going on. Mr Kumar won’t be able to take him outside to do his business, and to turn him over.”

  Jamie sniffed miserably. If there was anything to be done to save this dog she knew her mother would do it, but she still felt so sad and helpless.

  13

  Thnoopy wants a jersey too

  The next afternoon Jamie and Pan went into the vet hospital to check on the new litter of kittens in one of the cages. “The mother cat was so lucky someone found her,” Jamie said. “She’s a stray. Can you imagine giving birth in a parking lot, with no one to look after you?” She scratched the mother cat under the chin.

  “They’re so cute,” Pan said, stroking the little grey kitten with white socks. “I wish my mom would let me have one.”