Too Cool for This School

by Kristen Tracy

  And even though Ava was speaking to Angelina in a harsh way, I didn’t interrupt her, because I thought that everything Ava was saying was basically true.

  “Don’t you want to make friends? Don’t you want to avoid the geeks and mingle with cool kids? Why come here and have a nightmare experience?” Ava asked.

  Angelina blinked. Four times. She looked as if she wasn’t totally sure if she cared or not.

  “Is our school that bad?” Rachel asked.

  “When it comes to being the new girl, any school can be that bad,” Ava said.

  “Right,” Angelina said as she nervously twirled her ribbon belt around her finger.

  None of us said anything. We just stared at Angelina while she thought and thought. I didn’t understand what was so hard about blending. If I were as weird as Angelina, I would have been thrilled to try to show up at a new place and blend.

  “This problem is easy to solve,” Lucia said. “Just borrow some of Lane’s clothes and don’t talk too much about bald eagles and you’ll be fine.”

  “You can probably talk a little bit about grizzly bears,” Rachel said.

  Lucia and Ava and I shot Rachel some disapproving looks. She was not helping.

  “I need a glass of water,” Angelina said. “My donut is sticking to my throat.”

  I gave her my flashlight and we watched as she walked barefoot through the grass toward the house.

  “She’s different,” Rachel said. “Maybe people will like that.”

  We all looked at Rachel again. Had her jelly donut made her crazy?

  “She’s too different,” Ava said. “Plus, she’s weird. She’ll sink Lane’s popularity faster than a harpoon takes down a whale.”

  “No way,” Rachel said. “Lane is class captain.”

  “That’s right,” Ava said. “She’ll be planning the most amazing parties our school has ever seen. People are expecting a lot out of her now.”

  That statement felt heavy and made me hold my breath. While I’d thought about the parties, I hadn’t really thought about other people’s expectations.

  “I’m sure everything will be fine,” I said in a very shaky voice.

  “I’m sure a whale thinks that right before it gets harpooned,” Ava snapped.

  “Stop!” Lucia said. “I actually saw a show about whaling ships, and it takes a long time for a harpoon to tire a whale.”

  “Whatever,” Ava said. “Eventually the whale sinks. And Lane shouldn’t be a harpooned whale. She deserves so much more than that.”

  I really agreed with Ava’s position on this.

  “But the whale doesn’t sink,” Lucia said. “It’s cut up into useful parts. For lamp oil and stuff.”

  “That’s an even worse fate than sinking!” Ava said. “Listen, here’s the plan. On Monday, if Angelina shows up at school looking decent and acting normal, we’ll befriend her and do what we can to help her survive. But if she doesn’t listen to us and she shows up refusing to blend, we need to cut her loose and let her swim those waters alone.”

  There was a bunch of silence. I think we were all thinking about the cut-up whale.

  “That’s so harsh,” Rachel said finally. “I feel bad for her.”

  “Her? Feel bad for us. We can’t hang out with a weirdo. People will think we’re weird too.”

  “So we’re just going to ditch my cousin?” I asked.

  Ava clicked her tongue. “If you want a happy future that includes Todd Romero, yeah. We ditch her.”

  It took Angelina a long time to come back to the trampoline. And when she did, I tried not to look at her too much. I knew what I had to do. I just hoped I’d be able to do it.

  9

  I made my two dozen cookies on Sunday night. I settled on a raw vegan chocolate chip recipe. My mom voiced some concern over the fact that we didn’t have to bake them, but I thought that was a time-saving bonus. With my raw cookies, all I had to do was leave them out and dehydrate them for the night.

  “What are these for, again?” Angelina asked as she watched me scoop the last mound of dough onto a piece of parchment paper.

  “A cookie basket,” I said. Angelina needed to start accepting the fact that I didn’t have to exhaustively answer every single one of her questions.

  “And you’re not concerned that they look a little bit like dog poop?” she asked.

  I stared at my undehydrated cookies. “They taste awesome,” I said, acting as if her dog poop comparison hadn’t offended me. Because I didn’t think they looked like that at all. I thought they looked vegan-y.

  “Are you going to bed right now?” Angelina asked, trailing behind me to the bathroom.

  It was starting to feel like I had a stalker. “Yeah.”

  “My mom might call me tonight. It depends on what time her ship makes port,” she said. “So I’m going to stay up.”

  “Okay,” I said. I tried to imagine what it would feel like if my mom had boarded a ship and sailed off for a month. But I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. No matter how bad my mom wanted to visit a foreign country or take a vacation, she would never do that.

  I entered my bedroom and noticed that Angelina still hadn’t laid out her outfit for school like I’d suggested. It drove me nuts that I didn’t know what she was going to wear tomorrow. And I couldn’t tell if she was intentionally trying to drive me nuts or if it was an accidental thing. Maybe I should mention that I was willing to help her pick out an outfit one more time?

  Rather than reach out to her, I shut the door instead. It wasn’t my job to dress my cousin.

  “Night!” Angelina called to me. “I’ll make sure nobody eats your cookies.”

  Who did she think was going to eat my cookies? “Okay,” I said. And I pulled out my pink bohemian tunic top and my favorite pair of jeans so they’d be ready for me to wear tomorrow.

  I wasn’t prepared for the drama. Before the sun even made it up, the first day of school with Angelina started with a curveball.

  “Would it be a bad idea for me to wear Ava’s pajamas to school?”

  I almost fell over when Angelina asked me this.

  “Uh, yeah. It would be a terrible idea,” I answered. I was basically all dressed, and had thought Angelina was on board to wear my cute periwinkle shirt with puffy sleeves. Ten minutes ago, when she’d tried it on, we’d both agreed that she looked great in it.

  “That’s too bad,” Angelina said. “Because I really like the ribbon belt.”

  Upon hearing this, I ran to my closet and pulled out every belt I owned. Thin. Thick. Beaded. Braided. “Take your pick,” I said. “Belts and beyond.” It surprised me how quickly I was willing to surrender my entire wardrobe to Angelina. Probably, I was motivated by guilt. I felt bad knowing that chances were good that if Angelina dressed in her own clothes, she would wind up looking so dweeby that I would have to ditch her. Was it wrong to want to arrive at school with two dozen vegan cookies and a cousin who looked regular? Seriously. Was it wrong to want that?

  Many freaky things happened that morning before Angelina and I made it to school. First, my mom made us a special egg breakfast with waffles on the side, which she never did except for random Sundays when we had guests. Second, my dad joined us. Typically, he was already headed to work and rarely ate breakfast with us, because when you supervise a groundskeeping crew on a college campus, apparently you have to sweep all the paths clear and remove all tripping hazards before classes start.

  But the freakiest thing had to be that Angelina had chosen to wear her wolf T-shirt to my school on her first day. Inside out! She looked ridiculous. Was she trying to hide the fact that her T-shirt had a wolf on it? Because even inside out, you could clearly see the outline of that beast. I thought people might think she was trying to hide a stain. And then maybe these same people would think she didn’t have enough money to buy an unstained ugly shirt. I could tell that my mom and dad weren’t thrilled with her fashion choice. But they didn’t make her change. It was crazy. I think they
still felt bad that she had to take a taxi to our house from the airport. Clearly, Angelina was going to be able to get away with murder the entire month she lived with me. It was like the worst thing that had ever happened to me kept getting worse. Like a scrape that gets infected because bacteria gets into it.

  “Why don’t I drive you to school?” my dad said.

  At first I was going to tell him no thanks. But the thought of boarding my school bus with Angelina made me feel queasy.

  “Okay,” I said.

  “And your health cookies are ready to go. I put them in a plastic box,” my mom said, lifting a see-through box off the counter and then setting it back down.

  “They’re vegan cookies, not health cookies,” I explained.

  “Did the same teacher who told you to write a poem about the couch tell you to make vegan cookies?” my dad asked.

  My dad didn’t understand how my school worked at all. “No,” I said, without bothering to explain more. I glanced at my mom, because it looked as if she had more to say.

  “I packed you each a lunch with ham-and-cheese sandwiches in case you don’t like what they’re serving today,” my mom said.

  That didn’t make sense. Our cafeteria had a ton of choices. And today was pizza Monday. My mom knew I loved pizza Monday.

  “It’s pizza Monday,” I said.

  “I love ham-and-cheese sandwiches,” Angelina said. “Did my mom tell you that?”

  “I just want to make sure you have a great first day,” my mom said.

  “Who doesn’t like pizza?” I mumbled. But nobody responded. I probably didn’t mumble loud enough.

  I watched as Angelina loaded her waffle with two different flavors of jam. Then she added honey! And sprinkled raisins on it! Where did she get raisins? We didn’t have any in our house. My dad and I hated raisins. She must have brought them with her from Alaska. That was weird. My mom and dad and I ate our eggs and waffles the way normal people did: salted and peppered, and syruped.

  I’m sure my dad said many interesting things as he drove Angelina and me to our doom. But I don’t really remember them. All I remember are the last words he said as I climbed out of the car. Angelina had already gotten out and was doing some weird arm stretches near the trunk.

  “She’s a little different,” my dad said. “Watch out for her. Protect her. She’s your flesh and blood.”

  I glanced at her in her jacket. Once she took it off and revealed her inside-out wolf T-shirt I didn’t know how I could protect her.

  “Everyone is going to see she’s a total geek,” I whispered. “I really hate this.”

  My dad nodded. “I like your attitude. Angelina is totally neat. And everyone will see how really great she is!”

  He had to be kidding. But he didn’t look like he was kidding. Had he misheard me? How could he confuse “I really hate this” with “how really great she is”? How could he think I thought that Angelina was “neat”? I wanted to correct him, but my father looked incredibly serious and ridiculously proud of me. “Not everybody who looks at Angelina sees what we see. You’re an impressive kid. I’m glad you’re mine.”

  I could not believe my morning. My dad blinked at me very lovingly and it looked as if he was about to cry. In the parking lot! So I said what I thought I needed to say to make him stop. “Thanks. I’ll make sure Angelina has an awesome day.”

  Then I grabbed Angelina by the arm and sped her up the walkway toward my school’s front doors.

  “You are so eager to learn!” she said.

  “We need to get to the bathroom,” I said under my breath. I knew what I had to do.

  We got to the bathroom and I made Angelina enter the same stall as me.

  “Are you sick?” she asked.

  I didn’t quite know how to answer that. So I unleashed a flood of honesty. “Angelina, if you wear that shirt, you won’t make a single friend. People will brand you a major loser and maybe even throw food at you in the cafeteria. They usually serve breadsticks on pizza Monday, and those are pretty easy to aim. Please. Please. Please. I’m class captain. I can’t have a loser for a cousin. Please.”

  She looked at me with big, surprised eyes. “But it’s the only shirt I have with me.”

  This was a problem. Why hadn’t I thought to bring my periwinkle shirt as a spare? Angelina reached for the door.

  “No,” I said.

  She stopped. “What?” she asked.

  I knew what I needed to do.

  I pulled off my pink bohemian tunic and pushed it into Angelina’s stomach. I would wear her wolf shirt. Just like my father wanted, I would protect her. I, Lane Cisco, would look like the geek.

  As I stood in my bra, dreading the morning bell, I realized this was the most vulnerable I’d ever felt. “Give me your shirt.”

  “All right. If you insist,” she said.

  I knew I was making a mistake the second I slid that T-shirt over my head. I didn’t even bother putting it on inside out. “Can I borrow your jacket too?” I asked. I slipped on her jacket right away and zipped it up so that nobody would see I was wearing a glowing wolf head. Once Angelina had put on my pink shirt she looked cute and normal. It was crazy how much one piece of clothing could transform this girl.

  “Time for Mr. Guzman’s class,” I said, tugging on her arm a little.

  But she didn’t follow me. “I need to fix my hair,” she said.

  That was a bad idea. Her hair looked good.

  “We don’t want to be late,” I said. I still had to find Leslie and drop off my cookies.

  “But wearing your shirt has changed my look. I need to adjust my hair.”

  This was nuts. The last thing Angelina needed to do was adjust the part of her that looked shiny, healthy, and normal.

  “I’ll meet you in class,” she said.

  What? What? What?

  “No way!” I said. “It’s my job to take you there.”

  Then her voice got stern. “If I can make it from Eagle River to Santa Fe, I can make it down the hallway to Mr. Guzman’s class.”

  Wow. My cousin really lacked gratitude.

  “Fine,” I said. “I sit in the third row. There’s an open desk two rows over. That one will probably be assigned to you.”

  I stormed out of the bathroom and hurried down the hallway. I felt really panicked. I knew I was wearing a lame shirt and that I could never take off this jacket. And I was already feeling a little hot. And I had to talk to a class captain dressed this way.

  Luckily, I spotted Leslie talking to Robin and Derek outside the main office.

  “I’ve got my cookies,” I said. I took off my backpack and began unzipping it.

  “Didn’t you get my text?” Leslie asked. “We’re making the cookie basket next week.”

  “Maybe you can freeze them,” Derek said.

  But I didn’t know if that would work with dehydrated vegan cookies. So I didn’t offer to do that. “That’s okay. I’ll just make more for next week.”

  “You’re so easygoing,” Leslie said.

  “Totally,” Robin added.

  “Yeah,” Derek said. “Why do you look stressed out?”

  What a rude thing to say to me while I was panicking. I shrugged and looked at Derek as calmly as I could. “I just don’t want to be late for class.”

  Derek smiled at me and reached in his pocket. “Here are some tardy slips. The office doesn’t mind cutting the class captains some slack. We’re responsible. They like us.”

  Even though it felt weird, I reached out and took the tardy slips. “Thanks.”

  “We’ll look for you at lunch,” Derek said.

  I blinked at him before I ran off. I just didn’t get it. First, why was he so nice to me? Second, why did it bug me so much that he was so nice to me?

  Lucia and Rachel waved to me when I walked into the classroom. I waved back. I caught Ava out of the corner of my eye when I sat down. “Where’s Angelina?” she mouthed. I shrugged. I didn’t have time to explain that she
was in the bathroom adjusting her hair to match my cool bohemian tunic.

  And then the bell rang and Angelina wasn’t there. I took my seat and stared at the front board and hoped that I wouldn’t get in any trouble. Mr. Guzman knew Angelina was coming; my mother had finalized all the arrangements last week. Angelina could just explain she’d gotten lost. And I’d play dumb. Being late on the first day wasn’t too bad.

  Please don’t show up with freaky hair. Please don’t show up with freaky hair.

  I felt something land next to my arm. When I looked down, I saw Todd’s hand jerking away. A note! I loved it when he sent me notes. I read it very quickly.

  Why the jacket? Are you cold?

  He was so sweet. He noticed that I was wearing a jacket in a warm room. I nodded, even though I could feel my head starting to sweat.

  And then it happened. Something life-changing. Angelina bopped into my classroom. And I couldn’t believe my eyes. She had really adjusted her hair. It was braided around her head. I couldn’t tell if it looked cool or crazy. And it wasn’t just braided with hair. There was something twisted in the braid. It was Ava’s ribbon belt from her pajamas. Angelina had braided a belt to her head. What was wrong with her?

  She and Mr. Guzman said a few things to each other, and then she turned around to face the class. My bohemian tunic! It had some weird symbol drawn on it. Was it an exclamation point? It was. No way. What made her think she could destroy my property? I would never do that. It was stunning. I mean, I left her alone looking normal, and five minutes later, she showed up to sixth grade wearing a punctuation mark and a crazy braid.

  “This is our new class member,” Mr. Guzman said.

  I watched in horror as Angelina waved to my class. The only thing that made me feel better was that I knew this would only last a month.

  “She’s from Alaska and her name is Mint,” Mr. Guzman said. “She’s Lane Cisco’s cousin. Lane, do you have anything to add to Mint’s introduction?”

  Why was my teacher calling Angelina by her middle name? Mint? Nobody called her that. Did they? My father’s words flashed through my mind. “Protect her. She is your flesh and blood.”