Too Cool for This School

by Kristen Tracy

  “I didn’t do it,” I told her.

  Mint flipped back around and glared at me. “I know exactly what you did, and I’ll never forgive you.” She stomped out of the office, fuming like the most furious person I’d ever seen.

  So this was how she was going to react. I thought maybe I could fix things by explaining a little bit about how this had happened. “It wasn’t me,” I called after her.

  “You were part of it,” Mint called back. “You had to be. And there’s no way you can deny that.”

  Was I part of it? Technically I was not. If you find out about something after it’s happened, how can you be considered part of it?

  Mint kept walking. Even though it would have been easier to sit in the chair and wait for my mom, I chose to follow my cousin. I didn’t want her to hate me. I mean, I understood that she should hate Ava. But I was practically innocent. Also, it was against school policy to leave the building without a parent.

  “Stop following me,” Mint said.

  “We have to wait inside,” I said. “School rule.”

  “This isn’t my school anymore,” she said. “I don’t care.” She dropped her backpack on the ground and sat next to it.

  “Mint,” I said. “Don’t overreact.” I could only imagine what this day must have felt like for her. First she was sailing the highest of highs from being made famous by a roller-skating flash mob. Then she was slogging through the lowest of lows from having her secret journal full of rude comments distributed to the class. “Please calm down.”

  “Don’t tell me what to do!” Mint said. “As soon as I get to your house, I’m emptying out all my drawers and packing my bag. You can have your stupid room back.”

  She put her head in her hands and stared at the ground. During her whole stay here, I was so eager to have her gone from my life. But I hadn’t wanted it to happen this way.

  Before I could coax Mint back inside or the secretary could come out to request that we wait inside, my mother pulled up. Mint leaped to her feet and raced to the car.

  “Where’s your jacket?” my mom asked me.

  That was in my locker along with my backpack and homework and phone. But I did not want to go back inside that building.

  “I left it in my locker,” I admitted. “With my backpack.”

  “Do you need it?” she asked.

  As much as I didn’t want to go back inside that building, I also couldn’t imagine not having my phone with me during this time of crisis.

  “Wait one minute,” I said. “I’ll go get it.”

  Then I raced back into my school as fast as I could and took a turn so fast that I almost skidded into my classroom door. Lucia saw me through the window and jumped up. I hurried to get my things.

  “I’m going to check on Lane and give her our Algebra homework,” I heard Lucia tell Ms. Fritz. Then she slipped out into the hallway while I was at my locker.

  “This just keeps getting bigger,” Lucia said.

  “Ugh,” I said. It seemed like not that much could have happened since I’d been gone.

  “Okay. I don’t know if you know this, but your mom sent emails inviting everybody to Mint’s going-away party at your house. Tuma just got his,” Lucia explained.

  That made sense. Tuma always snuck his phone into class.

  “That party is going to be tense,” Lucia said. “If people show up.”

  My mom had asked me if we should invite people from other grades to the party, but I’d sort of blown her off because I didn’t want to draft Mint’s invitation list. But now I wished I’d played a greater role in it. Who was supposed to be coming to this thing?

  “That party is probably going to suck,” I said.

  “People hate her,” Lucia added.

  “I might not even go to that party,” I said. Why should I put myself in such a painful situation?

  “Yeah,” Lucia answered. “I predict that’s going to be a very lonely place.”

  I took my backpack and raced to the car. When I climbed in, Mint already had her eyes closed.

  “Mint says she thinks you got food poisoning,” my mom said as she pulled out onto the road.

  That was a terrible sickness to try to pretend to have. Because it went away in a few hours. We needed an illness we could fake for the rest of the week. Or maybe our lives.

  “Or it could be the flu,” I suggested.

  Because that was a condition I could try to fake until Mint left town and beyond.

  24

  Mint never told my parents about the list. And neither did I. When Mint relocated to the living room, they assumed that we’d finally reached our limits with each other. Which was sort of true. And while I wouldn’t have put it past them to try to drag us to play mini golf together one more time before she left, they used better judgment and did not try to force a friendship-building exercise upon us during our final days together.

  I knew that for the next two days school was going to be a world of suck. And I knew Mint knew that too. Everybody in the sixth grade knew that. I was dreading it more than I’d ever dreaded anything. And I was pretty sure Mint was too.

  Waiting in silence at the bus stop, she paced in the dirt. What do you tell somebody who has to face a classroom filled with people she has publicly insulted?

  We got on the bus and sat in separate seats. Not that many kids from our class rode this bus, but there were a couple. Tuma plopped down next to me even though he usually sat toward the back.

  “Did your cousin write that list?” he asked.

  I couldn’t believe Tuma was even talking to me. He never talked to me. He was usually too busy skateboarding or talking about skateboarding or texting one of his skateboarding friends. I couldn’t believe Tuma even cared about the list.

  “I don’t know anything,” I said.

  He knocked his shoulder against me in a forceful way. “You need to practice lying.”

  Then I watched Tuma walk down the aisle and sit next to Mint. I don’t know what he whispered in her ear. I just saw a bunch of head shaking. Then she turned and shoved him. It was shocking. Mint shoved Tuma! And he landed on his butt in the aisle. It was tense. But when Tuma got up, he was laughing. Was Mint laughing? Maybe people would think the list was funny? Mint turned and I caught a glimpse of her face. She wasn’t laughing. She looked like she was on the verge of tears. Everything will be okay, I told myself. Two more days of school. I chose not to think about the going-away party.

  As soon as I stepped off the bus, I saw a line of people waiting for me: Leslie Fuentes, Robin Galindo, and Derek.

  “We need to speak with you immediately,” Robin said.

  I walked toward the school just assuming that we’d talk in the meeting room next to the secretary.

  “No,” Leslie said. “We need to go where nobody can hear us.”

  I didn’t even know the class captains did that.

  “Do we need to find Fiona?” I asked.

  Leslie snorted. “She’s a fifth grader. She can’t help us.”

  “Yeah. We need to discuss sixth-grade issues,” Robin said.

  “I can’t believe you didn’t call and warn me about this,” Derek said. “Is that what your friend was mad about?”

  I couldn’t believe that Derek expected me to call him. Why should I have warned him? Was this related to the crush he had on me? Because he wasn’t even in my class. As a seventh grader, he was beyond the list. Didn’t he know that?

  I followed the other class captains all the way to the back of school grounds. I’d assumed we’d stop when we got there, but Leslie slipped through a fence and entered somebody’s backyard.

  “Do you live here?” I asked.

  Leslie glanced at me like that was a very stupid question.

  “I live here,” Derek said.

  Ooh. That was surprising. Derek had a big pool and an enormous and perfectly groomed backyard with a large number of lawn chairs, all built-in outdoor grilling area, and canvas-covered hot tub. I hadn’t
realized his family was so rich.

  “Let’s sit,” Robin said.

  We dragged the lawn chairs into a circle. In the distance, I could hear the warning bell ring.

  “Let me just mention that this is off the record,” Leslie said. “Anything that happens here will be forgotten once we enter school grounds. Agreed?”

  “Agreed,” Derek said.

  “Agreed,” Robin said.

  Everybody looked at me. “Agreed?”

  I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that we had meetings off the record next to Derek’s big pool when Leslie pulled a piece of paper out of her backpack. It was the insult list. “Did you write these?” she asked, shaking it at me.

  I took the paper and looked over the insults. Reading them again, one after the other in Mint’s handwriting, made them sound meaner than when I’d read them the first time.

  “I didn’t write any of these,” I said, trying to hand the list back to her.

  Robin refused to take it.

  “Did you put the list together?” Leslie asked.

  “No,” I said.

  “Do you know who did?” Derek asked.

  I was stunned that Derek had asked me such a hard question. I thought he had a crush on me and would try to help me more.

  “Maybe,” I answered, crossing, then uncrossing my legs.

  “Either you know or don’t know,” Leslie said. Then she turned to Derek and touched his thigh. “Great question.”

  “Who put it together?” Robin asked.

  I didn’t answer.

  “You have to tell us,” Leslie said.

  Did I really?

  “I think it’s just a big misunderstanding,” I said.

  Leslie read from the list.

  The class-captain picture looks totally creepy. I hope somebody puts gum on Robin’s face soon.

  “We had a gum incident with the class-captain photo last week,” Robin said. “It’s totally related.”

  This really surprised me. “Somebody put gum on your picture?”

  Derek pointed to himself. “Somebody put gum on my face.”

  I had no idea people were vandalizing our class-captain photo with gum. But I was pretty sure Mint hadn’t done it, even though she did chew gum.

  “I think Ava made the list,” Derek said.

  I tried to keep my face from making a reaction.

  “And I think Mint wrote the insults,” Leslie said.

  I stared blankly at Derek’s pool as the late bell rang.

  “I can’t be too late for class,” I explained. “My mom will kill me.”

  Robin stood up and got really mad at me. “Let’s not drag our mothers into this.”

  I didn’t think I was really doing that. “Okay.”

  Robin continued to yell at me. “This has never happened in the history of Rio Chama Middle School! It’s embarrassing that somebody would do something so stupid and mean! And we can’t have a class captain who’s involved.”

  I stood up to defend myself. “Well, I’m not involved.”

  “Prove it!” Robin said. “Tell us who made the list. Tell us who put the list in all the desks.”

  I looked at Robin, then at Leslie, then at Derek.

  “Is it the same person who made the list?” Leslie asked.

  “Was it Mint?” Robin asked.

  I just didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to rat on anybody. And I couldn’t believe I was thinking this, but I would much rather have been in my drama-filled classroom than Derek’s drama-filled backyard pool area.

  “I’ve got to get to class,” I said.

  “You’ve got to tell us!” Leslie said. “If you don’t, it’s a form of class-captain betrayal.”

  This was too much yelling. I hated yelling.

  “We need to take action,” Robin said.

  “Whoa,” Derek said. “I don’t know that we need to do that.”

  It was about time he came to my defense.

  “The sixth graders had a meltdown,” Derek said. “If Lane tells us what she knows, we should be cool with that and just move on.”

  I stood there.

  “I don’t know. I think we need to take some action,” Robin said.

  “Yeah,” Leslie agreed. “Until you tell us who wrote the list and put it in everybody’s desks, you’re on probation.”

  “That means you don’t participate in any party activities, planning or otherwise,” Robin said.

  “Yeah,” Leslie said. “Your mood isn’t officially organic anymore.”

  I didn’t even know class captains could be put on probation. “For how long?”

  “Until you tell us what you know,” Robin said.

  So that basically meant I could be on probation the entire time I was class captain, because I didn’t think I would ever tell anybody what I knew.

  Leslie and Robin hustled out of the yard and I stood there with Derek.

  “I can help you with this,” Derek said.

  It was too much stress.

  “Did Ava put the lists in the desks?” he asked.

  I stopped breathing.

  “Just say her name if I’m right,” he said.

  I felt hot.

  “Okay. Just nod if it was Ava,” he pressed.

  That was when I took in a big breath of air, and the smell of chlorine hit me wrong and made me so dizzy my stomach wouldn’t stop churning. Then something very regrettable happened. Before I could excuse myself or find a garbage can or move away from the pool, I puked in Derek’s backyard.

  “Lane!” He stepped back so it wouldn’t splatter on his shoes.

  “Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry,” I said, covering my mouth. That was when I realized that some of my puke actually landed in the pool. I watched as my breakfast cereal floated and broke apart into smaller disgusting clumps.

  “Me too,” Derek said. “We just had it cleaned.”

  “I need to go home,” I said, feeling as if I was going to cry. This was totally embarrassing. “I need to stop talking about this.”

  “Okay. But don’t you trust me?” Derek asked. “I mean, I spied for you.”

  Derek needed to stop with the pressure tactics. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “I need to call my mom.”

  “Yeah,” he said, taking a quick examination of the spreading puke spot in his pool. “You do.”

  25

  When my mom came to get me at school, I was kind enough and smart enough to suggest that Mint come home with us again.

  “I can’t believe you’re both sick at the same time. Maybe it is the flu,” my mom said. “And right before the big party.”

  “You should probably cancel it,” Mint said.

  I was surprised to hear that. Things must have been pretty rough for her in Mr. Guzman’s class that morning.

  “Let’s not make that decision right now,” my mom said. “You’ve spent a whole month building friendships. It would be a tragedy if you didn’t get the chance to say goodbye. Plus, we’ve already bought the hot dogs.”

  Little did she know that the tragedy had already happened, and all Mint’s “friendships” had gone up in flames. And it was doubtful hot dogs could save them.

  And so Mint created a sickbed on the couch and I stayed in my bedroom and we did not talk about school or the list or the possibly canceled party.

  But I did attempt some damage control by talking on the phone.

  CONVERSATION #1

  RACHEL: Ava won’t tell me anything.

  ME: What do you want to know?

  RACHEL: Did Mint really write those things? Are they from her diary?

  ME: I don’t know. You’ll have to ask Mint.

  RACHEL: But I don’t want to talk to her! She basically called me stupid.

  ME: Don’t take her comment too harshly. She just thinks squids are super smart.

  RACHEL: It’s rude to think a squid is smarter than me.

  ME: Does that mean you’re not coming to the party?

 
CONVERSATION #2

  LUCIA: People are freaking out.

  ME: Still?

  LUCIA: People are obsessing over whether Ava or Mint wrote the list.

  ME: What’s Ava saying?

  LUCIA: Nothing. Nothing at all. She left early to practice cello.

  ME: What about Jagger and Todd?

  LUCIA: Mint and Jagger fought before class started. I heard them yelling.

  ME: Jagger yelled?

  LUCIA: Loudly.

  ME: What did he say?

  LUCIA: He told Mint that he didn’t know she was so judgmental.

  ME: What about Todd?

  LUCIA: He came over and told Jagger that they were both out of the slime caves and should just get over it.

  ME: That’s good advice.

  LUCIA: Nobody wants to come to her party.

  ME: What about you?

  LUCIA: Yeah, I’ll come. I’m not a hater.

  CONVERSATION #3

  ME: Todd?

  TODD: Are you okay? I heard you threw up in Derek’s pool.

  ME: Who told you that?

  TODD: Derek.

  ME: I’m okay.

  TODD: How’s Mint?

  ME: Um. We’re not talking that much.

  TODD: Because of the list? Did Ava do that? She is so lame.

  ME: Are you coming to the party?

  TODD: Yeah. With Jagger. I thought that list was funny. Sometimes Mr. Guzman does smell like a pizza fart.

  ME: Things are okay between Jagger and Mint?

  TODD: Uh, not really. But he’s coming to the party.

  ME: Good. Hey. Did Derek tell you anything else?

  TODD: Not really.

  ME: Cool.

  ATTEMPTED CONVERSATION #4

  AVA’S VOICE MAIL: Hi, this is Ava. I can’t come to the phone. If you’re calling about the insult collage you found in your desk, I don’t have anything to say about it. If you have further questions, ask Mint. She wrote the insults.

  After having three conversations and listening to Ava’s voice mail, I knew for certain that at least five people would be at Mint’s going-away party: Me, Lucia, Todd, Jagger, and Mint. I felt bad that more people weren’t coming. But when you write a bunch of insulting things about people and they find out about them, there’s not much that can be done.