Lethal Redemption

by April Hunt

  She leaned back in his embrace so she could gaze up at him, her expression somber. “I’ll take the heavy with the fun. I’m guessing it requires a lot to get under your skin when it’s people who matter. You’re incredibly patient once you’ve decided someone is worth your time.”

  He grunted in response and she giggled and rose up in his arms to press a soft kiss against his jaw. Embarrassed, he tucked her back against him and thought hard. He wasn’t sure what to do with her.

  If he wanted to keep her, he owed her answers to her questions. And the intent might not have been clearly thought out before, but he did. He wanted to keep her near, like this.

  “I enlisted pretty young and I didn’t have a handle on how much it’d changed me my first time out. When I got home, I wasn’t good at compartmentalizing yet, or pretending to be…normal.”

  He remembered the change in their expressions, the moment when real smiles froze into polite horrified masks.

  “They expected you to be normal? What was normal in their eyes?” Lyn’s questions were murmured against his shirt and her arms remained around him. No hint of her pulling away.

  He tightened his arms around her anyway, because she wasn’t trying to get away.

  “I was rough around the edges, rude.” He shrugged. “It was embarrassing to them. They felt I’d developed bad habits, and I had. I smoked. I drank. I cursed at everyone, even the kids, without meaning to.”

  Lyn nodded and he absorbed her acceptance like a balm on his memories. Funny how they were still raw. He’d thought he’d made his peace with the reality of it.

  “It wasn’t the habits that were the problem, though. Those were…manifestations. I needed, craved a change in my state of mind. Whatever could do it for me, I went after it. It was all to take me out of the numb and help me feel something different than the shit place I was in most of the time.” He cleared his throat, suddenly thick with emotion. “Next time I came home, my father quietly said they didn’t feel comfortable leaving the kids home alone with me. Never been so ashamed in my life. I’d never hurt those kids. Never.”

  But his being near them was a bad influence and maybe even a danger. He’d accepted it. Taken accountability.

  Lyn’s arms tightened around his waist. “You respected their wishes.”

  “’Course.”

  “But did they ever come to you, try to understand you?” There was a thread of anger there in her voice. For him. And he found himself holding onto it like a man drowning. No one had ever been angry on his behalf, not a civilian. Not someone outside the service. Not someone who hadn’t lived it. Lyn was, though, for him. “They were concerned about the kids and themselves. Fine. But did they make any effort at all to be there for you?”

  “I was a grown man. Fighting for my country. I could take care of myself.”

  It’s what he’d told himself over and over. He’d never had this part of the conversation with his family.

  “They had expectations of you but didn’t stop, did they, to ask you if they were fair?” Lyn was working up a temper now. Her hands had fisted the back of his shirt.

  “Life isn’t fair, darling. I’m okay with that.” He’d felt he deserved it.

  “I’m not!” Her head popped up this time and he captured her mouth in a kiss.

  He was more than hungry for her. He wanted to drown in her sweetness, the way she made him feel whole and cared for. As he kissed her, he continued to hold her close and urged her body to meld against his. A needy whimper escaped her lips and he nipped the corner of her mouth before settling his over hers for another deep kiss.

  Bitterness, disappointment—it had all sat ignored and festering for a long time and finally it had washed away in the wake of this tidal wave of…whatever the hell she made him feel.

  God, she made him happy.

  He finally let them both up for air and she was clutching at him for balance. Which was all good as far as he was concerned. “Let it go. It’s okay now.”

  “How is it in any way okay?” She was a little breathless. He’d have to work on making her more so. But she was still riled up.

  She was hot when she was mad. Sexy hot.

  “Because it’s past and gone now and wouldn’t do anyone any good. It’d hurt them to know but not be able to go back and fix it.” The truth of it settled in his bones as he spoke it out loud. “I don’t want to cause them any hurt or regret. I just want to find happy on my own.”

  He smiled down at her, his happy, and wondered if she’d understand. She could be dense about the impact she had on the people around her.

  She was still hung up on the issue, though—had it between her teeth and wouldn’t give it up.

  “Let it go,” he said again, putting more force behind his words. “I want to so I need you to as well. Deal?”

  Defiance was still there, a fire in her eyes. But she sighed and relaxed in his arms. “Okay. But only because you’ve built so much here for yourself now. This place is good for you.”

  “You’re good for me.” There, he’d said it. Out loud, directly to her. Not to the air or to Atlas; to her.

  She bit her lip. “You mean that?”

  He’d said it, hadn’t he? He could say the obvious but he’d rather kiss her instead. So he did. And when he pulled back, he brushed his lips over hers, teasing, until she rose up on her tiptoes and claimed his mouth with her own insistence.

  She did get demanding when he teased her enough. He should tease her more often.

  * * *

  Lyn couldn’t get enough of David. Really, she couldn’t.

  Kissing him was everything she could ever want and not enough all at the same time. She loved the feel of his mouth on hers, the taste of him, and the way his hands roamed over her body. He let her pull back and brush her lips against his, playing, and nip at his lower lip. He bit her back gently in kind and then settled his mouth over hers in a deeper kiss to steal her breath away.

  He caught her by surprise, dipping low and hoisting her up in his arms, and she squealed. Embarrassed, she buried her face in his shoulder but he only chuckled as he strode into the bedroom.

  “I like the sounds you make.” His voice was rough, deepened with a need she’d only recently started to get to know.

  She clung to him as he lowered her onto the bed, coming down on top of her. “I like the things you do to me.”

  “Yeah?” He smiled against her lips and pressed his pelvis into hers.

  “Mmm.” She nuzzled his neck and then set her teeth against his skin.

  He paused, his hands tightening on her body. “Do that again.”

  She did, this time sucking a little as she bit him.

  He groaned and kneed her legs apart. When he pushed his thigh higher between her legs, she let her eyes flutter shut and her head fall backward. “Tease.”

  He chuckled. “Oh, this? Not this.”

  His weight lifted off her then and her eyes flew open as she looked for him. But David hadn’t left, only rolled off the bed to chuck his clothes off. He gave her a challenging look, his eyebrow arched, and she smiled and pulled off her own shirt. She was wriggling out of her jeans when he rejoined her on the bed and helped pull them down her legs.

  Fun. Lighthearted. She couldn’t help smiling. This was different from her other experiences with men. Those had been short, to the point, and just about the sex. With David, there was give and take, fun and moments of passion to steal her breath away. She learned about him when they were together like this, in ways that didn’t involve conversation. And she learned new things about herself, too, parts of her personality he brought out in her.

  He caressed and kissed his way up her legs, bringing her thoughts back to exactly what he was doing. When he reached her panties, he ran a finger under the edge until she squirmed. Grasping both sides, he pulled those down and tossed them over the edge of the bed to join her pants.

  “Pretty.” His gaze ran over her from her toes, up her legs, and lingered over her sex befo
re traveling up her belly to her breasts and finally finding her gaze, holding steady there. “So incredibly pretty.”

  Heat filled her everywhere his gaze had gone, and that was all over. She bit her lip.

  His gaze still holding hers, he cupped her sex in one hand and reached up to caress one of her breasts. His touch was so intimate, comforting and compelling at the same time. When his fingers parted her, exploring and teasing her entrance, she let her eyes flutter closed and arched her back.

  One of his fingers entered her and she bucked, the pleasure of his touch already driving her crazy. Then his other hand, caressing her breast as it was, shifted just enough for him to brush her nipple with his thumb. She cried out.

  “Wet and hot.” He slid his finger in and out of her in a slow rhythm. “Is this the way you like me to touch you?”

  She panted. If he wanted her to use words, he was a cruel man.

  Then he pushed two fingers into her and she arched for him again, fisting the sheets.

  He chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  Oh good. She’d keep breathing and words could come later. Because the way he continued to touch her, play with her, was sending pleasure coursing through her body until it coiled low in her abdomen. When he found her clitoris with his thumb, adding pressure in time with the slide of his fingers inside her, she lost ability to think at all.

  He petted her through the orgasm, prolonging it with gentle strokes. And when she opened her eyes again, he climbed over her, putting on the condom as she watched. Then he leaned forward until his forehead touched hers. “May I?”

  She loved the way he asked, didn’t presume, each time. In answer, she twined her legs with his and looked deep into his eyes, then nodded.

  He reached down with one hand and positioned himself, then entered her in a smooth slide. She gasped as he filled her, her muscles stretching to accommodate him. This was another way they fit, so, so well.

  Once he was buried to the hilt inside her, he paused, his breath hot in her ear. Then he began to move, firm and steady, pulling out and sliding back into her in a deep steady rhythm.

  She groaned, her already sensitized body rising to a crest again. “David, please.”

  Not even sure what she was asking for, she clutched at his shoulders, tried to encourage him. He drove into her faster, harder, his hands reaching around her to cup her behind and angle her for an even better fit. Every stroke pushed her closer to the edge until she arched under him helplessly, gasping.

  He buried his face into her shoulder and growled as he came too, shuddering with the power of his release.

  Lyn kept her arms wrapped around him as he slowly relaxed, lowering his weight onto her. His breath was hot against her skin and after a few moments, he rolled to one side and rose up to give her a quick kiss on the bridge of her nose.

  “Be right back.” He went into the bathroom and returned a few moments later with a cool, damp washcloth to help wipe her down.

  This was a gesture she appreciated, too. His care, and the way he wanted to see to her comfort, took their time together beyond sex to something much more intimate. She wanted this.

  Once he settled back onto the bed with her, she snuggled up against his side, content.

  “What’s on the agenda for Atlas’s training later today?”

  He froze next to her.

  Unsettled, she rose up on one arm so she could see his face. “I didn’t mean to break the mood. No work talk in bed?”

  She’d said it in a semi-teasing tone, but lost even that as his brows drew together.

  He sat up. “I’d wanted to talk to you about this, but I didn’t plan for us to get distracted.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Us sleeping together is getting distracted?”

  He reached out and ran his hand up her arm. “You are absolutely a distraction, in really good ways. Please don’t take this wrong.”

  She drew in a slow breath. “Okay. I’ll try not to, but let’s get back to what you got distracted from.”

  “This is going to be bad timing.” He eyed her with trepidation.

  Oh, great. “Better bad timing than not talking to me at all.”

  He nodded, ran a hand through his hair, then got started. “I was coming over here to talk to you about how we were going to move forward with Atlas’s training schedule.”

  She nodded. So far, nothing to be worried about.

  “You’ve done incredible things with his rehabilitation. His socialization is up to par based on the last couple of days of travel.” He paused and she waited. His words came out faster. “I wanted to suggest we adjust your participation in his training to intermittent sessions while I focus more on his specialized skill sets for explosives detection and human search.”

  It was her turn to raise an eyebrow. Dogs like Atlas searched out humans for other reasons than the search-and-rescue dogs trained in the United States. There were other reactions built into Atlas’s training, other behaviors expected. He was expected to act more independently in the search and respond differently on locating said human. She could understand how she didn’t have the experience in the training technique to work with Atlas for those behaviors.

  Still, this was more than two trainers talking about techniques. She gathered the sheets up around her, suddenly vulnerable.

  “Intermittent.” She said the word slowly. “What sort of intervals?”

  “Well, maybe twice this coming week, then we could move to once a week or even once every other week. You could go check on your other clients and come back for his sessions.” David’s voice had gone neutral, the way he did when he wanted to distance himself from a situation. Compartmentalizing.

  “You want me to leave.” Oh God, and they’d just slept together. “This was good-bye sex?”

  “No!” He tried to reach for her but stopped when she flinched back.

  “Sounds like it is.” Embarrassment and anger burned through her.

  “I don’t want to say good-bye, Lyn, but I want you safe.” David didn’t sound neutral anymore. In fact, the urgency in his tone drew her gaze back to his. “Atlas and me, we’re in this. We’re going to find out exactly what happened to Calhoun and we’re going to make sure this video doesn’t get buried. The deeper we get into this, the more likely shit is going to rain down around my head. I want you clear of it all.”

  She couldn’t argue with the danger. The car chase the other night had frightened the hell out of her.

  “When this is over, I’d like to come to you.” David leaned toward her. “Or you can come back here, whichever you want. I’d like for us to see where this thing between us goes.”

  “But you want me to give up my work with Atlas. Just leave.” She gritted her teeth. “I think you need to grab your clothes and step out.”

  “Lyn—”

  She shook her head. “You want me to think about this with a cool head, you need to take yourself out of here.”

  He studied her for a minute, then did as she asked.

  Chapter Eighteen

  What’s wrong?”

  Cruz scowled at Rojas where he sat at the breakfast bar playing some game on his smartphone. “Who says anything’s wrong?”

  “You’ve been glued to Lyn’s side since she got here.” Forte pulled open the fridge and peered inside. “If you’re not with her, you’re with the dogs or in your office at your computer. Since you walked in here and sat your ass down in a chair, I figure Rojas’s got a point. Something’s wrong.”

  “True.” Cruz took the beer Forte offered him and took a swig as he thought about how to fix the mess he’d made. He didn’t hide anything from Forte or Rojas. It was part of the reason they were able to live with each other. Trust.

  In fact, he’d sought them out. Staying inside your own head for too long resulted in spinning wheels. He needed their perspectives to see his way clear.

  “So where’s Lyn?” Forte asked, leaning against the counter.

  The three of them l
ingered like this sometimes. It wasn’t as if they were lifelong friends. They’d served together and in a lot of ways they knew more about each other, because of that intense period of time, than most people ever found out in a lifetime. It’d been Forte who’d told Cruz and Rojas to come to Pennsylvania. And hell, Cruz hadn’t had anyplace in particular he’d wanted to go right out of the service. Neither had Rojas. The man had only had one prerequisite: a safe place to raise his daughter. Hope’s Crossing Kennels had been a place to start, and if Cruz hadn’t been a fit he’d have moved on. Only, Forte had made it the right place to be for all of them. Expectations were straightforward. Life was pretty simple. And it was a life.

  Cruz hadn’t realized he’d been missing anything until Lyn came along, and now he’d told her to leave.

  “Packing.” Cruz sounded sullen and he didn’t want to. It’d been a solid decision. Logical.

  The other two men froze.

  After a moment, Rojas started playing his game again. “You get into a fight or decide things were getting too complicated?”

  Of course the other two had noticed. They’d spent their military careers taking cues from body posture, subtle signals, and the smallest gestures. Either of them could’ve noticed the new intimacy in the way Lyn responded to him from the moment they’d returned. Maybe even as soon as they’d stepped out of the car. He’d have noticed if it’d been one of them.

  “Complicated.” Cruz scowled at the beer. It was cold but not cold enough. Or he was too irritated to enjoy it. “This thing with the video Calhoun sent me. There’s too much shit involved. She’d be in the line of fire.”

  Cruz glanced around. Rojas’s daughter was likely over at the cottage they shared but he should’ve checked before shooting off his mouth. They all tried to keep the cursing to a minimum around the Boom. Unfortunately, the kid walked around quiet as a cat and hell, they all cursed worse than sailors.

  Rojas shook his head without taking his eyes off his game. “Woman’s already been attacked twice. At the hotel and right here on this property.”