by Erin Osborne
There’s stunned silence for a few minutes as everyone looks back and forth at one another. I have a smile on my face as I look at my family. Natasha is proud as hell of Kora and the fact we’re expanding our family sooner than we thought.
“Congratulations!” Hadliegh says. “I’m so happy for you.”
Hugs are shared all around before we sit down to enjoy our dinner. We talk about names for baby’s, the nursery, Kora starting school next week, and anything else we can think of. The atmosphere is relaxed and easy as we share the night with family. Tomorrow will be pandemonium as we tell the rest of the club. I’m sure there’ll be a party to celebrate all the happy news. I’ll just have to watch Natasha and make sure she’s not too tired or overworked.
Chapter Thirty
Natasha
RENEGADE HAD TO go on a run last night. It wasn’t one that was planned and I’m not sure what’s going on. He’s worried about missing Kora’s first day of school, but we got this. I’m going to take her on my way into the compound and we’ll be fine until he gets home. It should be later today so he might be able to pick her up this afternoon.
We’re getting ready to head out when my phone rings. Looking down, it’s Renegade.
“Hey, babe,” I say, answering the phone.
“Hey, baby. How are you feelin’?” he asks.
“I’m okay. Got sick this morning, but it’s nothing that doesn’t happen every day,” I answer. “Kora and I ate and now we’re getting ready to head out the door so she can go to school and I can go to work.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with gettin’ sick every mornin’?” he asks, concern filling his voice.
“It’s normal. Didn’t you pay attention to any of the ol’ ladies when they were pregnant?” I ask him, trying to contain my laughter.
“No. They weren’t my ol’ lady, so I didn’t pay too close attention to what was goin’ on. If you say it’s normal, I’ll believe you,” he says. “Can I talk to Kora before we get back on the road?”
I hand my phone over to Kora as I put my shoes on and make sure I have everything for the day. It’s going to be a long one. When Renegade isn’t here, I don’t sleep very well. It takes forever to fall asleep and then I spend the rest of the night tossing and turning. I’m already tired from being pregnant and now I’ll be extra tired today.
Kora is still on the phone with her dad as we leave the house. We get in my car and I head to school with Bishop following us. He’ll stick close to the school in case Kora needs someone while Renegade is out of town and I’m at work. It’s only a fifteen-minute drive from the compound to the school, but that’s fifteen minutes we won’t have to waste with Bishop being at the school. Or somewhere close to it.
Just before we get to the school, Kora hangs up with her dad. There’s tears in her eyes but a smile on her face. Parking the car in the parking lot of the school, I turn off the engine and turn toward Kora.
“Do you want me to go in with you?” I ask her.
“No. Do I look okay?” she asks.
Kora’s dressed in a pair of jeans with a black tank top. Her long hair is left down and there’s no make-up on her face except for some mascara. She never wears a lot of make-up. She’s got sneakers on her feet and a button-up shirt in case she gets cold in the school. Her bag holds all the supplies we bought her and I know she’s ready for the day ahead. After school, she has dance class and her bag is in the backseat of the car so we can head right there. Or I can meet her and Renegade there.
“You’re beautiful,” I tell her honestly. “You’re going to have an amazing day today. Don’t take anyone’s shit and make sure you talk to your classmates. You’ve come such a long way in such a short amount of time. Kora, you’re going to do amazing this school year.”
“Thank you, Mom,” she says, pulling me in for a hug.
Tears fill my eyes at her calling me ‘mom’. I’ve never been called anything any better than those three little letters.
“Don’t forget, Bishop will be around here if you need him,” I tell her, as she gets out of the car and starts her first day of eighth grade.
I sit in the parking spot until she disappears through the doors of the school with the rest of the kids already here. Knowing it’s time for me to leave, I turn the car on and leave the school. The entire drive to the compound, I ball like a baby. These damn hormones have my emotions all over the place. If this is how I’m going to be for the next several months, I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to handle it.
Chapter Thirty-One
Renegade
WE’RE FINALLY BACK from the run. Grave, Smokey, Hawk, and Bear went with me. We had to meet with one of our suppliers to pick up a shipment of guns they needed to get rid of. Apparently, they had them sold and the buyer backed out at the last second. So, we stepped up to buy them and bring them back. We’ll be able to get rid of them quickly. Hawk’s already making the necessary calls.
We rode hard the entire trip with Bentley driving the truck we’ll need to put our stock in when we pick it up. The only time we stopped was so I could call my daughter on her first day of school and make sure Natasha’s okay this morning. It was a quick stop and we were back on the road.
I’m pissed as hell that I’m on the road instead of being home so I can be there for Kora. But, business is business and Ink’s out of town so I couldn’t stay home this time. Psycho’s in charge while we’re gone and I know he’ll take care of everything we need to do at home. I should’ve sent him on the run, but I know Trinity hasn’t been feeling well so I didn’t want to take him away from home. I’m President of the club and it’s my responsibility to be on the runs for now. Others can pick up the slack when Natasha gets closer to her due date.
The entire trip, Grave has been distracted and I’m not sure what’s going on with him. What I do know is if something were to go wrong on this transport, his head wasn’t in the game and someone could seriously get hurt. We’re about to sit down and have a talk while Kora’s in school and Natasha’s at work.
When we pull up to the clubhouse, we all park in our spots and head in for a drink after being on the road for so long. Instead of staying in the common room, I motion for Grave to follow me into my office. We go in and he shuts the door behind us. I pull open my drawer and pull out a bottle of Jack and two glasses. After pouring us each a good amount, I lean back in my chair and look at the man across from me.
Grave has been in the club for a long time. He started Prospecting just after I did. We basically came up the ranks together and other than Psycho, he’s one of the members I’m closest to. The man doesn’t know how not to be loyal or make sure everything is right with the club and every single member. Including the ol’ ladies and babes.
He volunteers for every run he can take, letting Psycho stay home with his family. Until recently, you’d never see him away from the clubhouse unless he was working, on a run, or doing other club business. Now, you never find him here if he’s not doing something for the club. He’s always at the compound. And I could care less what he’s doing there.
What I need to know is why his head’s not in the game. If he’s going to be going on runs and being there to watch over the members, he needs to be alert and with us. Not thinking about something else.
“Grave, what’s goin’ on?” I finally ask.
“What do you mean?” he asks, downing the rest of his drink and setting his glass on my desk.
“You weren’t with us today. You’ve been distracted and spendin’ all your time at the compound. I don’t care who you’re seein’ there or what you’re doin’. But, it’s startin’ to affect you when you’re on club business,” I tell him.
“I’m not ready to talk about what’s goin’ on. You’ll be the first one to know when I’m ready. For now, I’ll not get in my head about it and I’ll focus when we’re on the road or I’m workin’. I’m sorry, Renegade. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but that’s all I’m gonna say,” he answers.
>
“You’ve always been a quiet man. You prefer to watch your surroundin’ and take in all the details. That wasn’t you today. As long as you keep your head on task, we’re good. When you’re ready to talk, I’m here. Any of us are,” I tell him.
“I know you are. It’s not just my story to tell, though.”
After a minute, Grave stands up and leaves the office. I’m sure he’s heading back to the compound to see whatever girl there he’s been spending time with. For now, I’m going to take a nap in my room here before I go see Natasha and then pick up Kora from school. At least I’ll get to see her for a little bit before she goes to dance class. Then we’ll have the night. I can’t wait to hear about her day.
As I walk to my room, I think about everything that’s changed. I’m married, a father, about to have another child, and still the President of Satan’s Anarchy. Natasha fits in amazingly with the members of the club and the rest of the ol’ ladies. I can’t wait to see where life takes us in the coming months. It’s sure to be one hell of a ride that can only get better from here.
Epilogue
Grave
FROM THE SECOND I saw Vanessa at the compound, I knew I’d be there for her. There’s something so broken about her that it immediately drew me to her. I know how it feels to be completely broken and defeated. To feel as if no one in the world’s going to have your back or be there to support you.
Vanessa is currently living at the domestic violence compound with her two children. She’s got twins that are three years old, a son named Tyler and a daughter named Kayla. They’re the cutest fucking kids I’ve ever seen. They’ve got nothing on their mother though.
The twins look exactly like Vanessa, with dark brown hair and big brown eyes. They’re smart as hell, already knowing colors, letters, and some numbers. I’ve never been around kids a lot in my life, but I enjoy spending time with Tyler and Kayla. Even when they’re cranky as hell and won’t go down for a nap.
Vanessa is a short woman. She stands just over five feet tall compared to my own six foot five. Her skin is the lightest shade of white I’ve ever seen with no tattoos or anything else visible on her flawless skin. Her hair reaches her ass and her eyes show every emotion she feels. The main things I see in her eyes are fear, pain, and pride when she looks at her kids. She’s got curves in all the right places even though she hides them behind clothes that are several sizes too big for her.
The first time I saw her, she was covered in bruises and her arm was in a cast. My heart broke for her while an unexplained rage consumed me. I’ve never felt the way for anyone as I do for Vanessa. And it’s been from the very beginning. I want to protect Vanessa and her kids with everything in me. I’d lay down my life for the three of them.
No one knows the way I feel about her. Or that I spend so much time with her. I’m sure they see my bike at the compound, parked outside of her house. I’m not ready to talk about her or try to explain the way I feel about her to anyone yet. Instead, I want to keep Vanessa to myself and figure out what’s going on with her before I talk about her to anyone.
Vanessa is scared to be around anyone. She barely leaves the house and hasn’t attended any of the classes the compound offers now thanks to Cassidy. The only thing she does is take the kids right outside of the house to play. If anyone else comes close to their home, she gets the kids and heads back inside. Cassidy is the only one who ever talks to her besides me and it’s only when Nessa opens the door for her.
She keeps the conversations strictly to what Cassidy asks her. Vanessa never opens up to Cassidy or anyone else. I’m lucky she even lets me through the door as much as she does. When I’m with her, she sits down on the couch with me, but won’t get close. I’m always ordering takeout food for us to eat because she doesn’t know how to cook a lot and is embarrassed to say anything. I don’t give a fuck if she can cook or not.
However, she’s always cleaning and picking up. It’s like it’s been ingrained into her and she’s afraid if she doesn’t keep her place clean something is going to happen to her. I believe her husband, yes I know she’s still married, beat the shit out of her if the house wasn’t spotless. It’s not realistic when small children are involved.
Even the kids don’t make a mess. They keep their rooms clean and only take out one or two toys at a time. I’ve never seen anything like it. We have toys at the clubhouse in the game room for the kids now and they always pull them all out to play with. Yeah, they clean everything up when it’s time to go home, but they make a mess while they’re playing.
Vanessa will open up to me. I’m a patient man and I’ll make sure she knows I’m going to be by her side. There isn’t another place I’d rather be. Hopefully, I can get the ol’ ladies to help me start getting her out of her shell. Without letting them know I have any feelings for the woman.
Vanessa
Two months ago, I came to the Domestic Violence compound ran by Satan’s Anarchy MC. I never thought I’d find myself in a place like this when I was growing up. But, here I am with my two children.
I stick to myself for the most part. The only two visitors I have are Cassidy who runs the compound and Grave. Cassidy is a sweet woman and takes the compound as everyone calls it seriously. She’s implemented some programs to help everyone learn the basic information we need to know so we can have our own place eventually. We’re here to heal, get any help we need, and get back on our feet.
Grave is one of the members of Satan’s Anarchy MC. He’s tall, one of the tallest guys I’ve ever seen in my life. His head is shaved close to his head while his eyes are a brilliant blue rimmed in dark gray. When he’s pissed about something, the gray of his eyes take over and draws you in. When he’s happy, the blue turns a dark blue. I’ve seen both emotions on the man who has decided to insert himself into our lives. He’s also got a nice body full of tattoos. Grave is muscular from working out in a gym and putting in a hard day’s work six days a week at the club’s construction company.
I’ve never liked tattoos on a man, but on Grave, they make him look dangerous and dark. More than his brooding and silent personality do. His tattoos go from the knuckles on each hand all the way up his arms. They peek out of the top of his tee-shirt and stop on his neck. Every tattoo he has is black or gray with no color in sight.
He spends every day with Tyler, Kayla, and me. When I first got here, his eyes were gray constantly. As the bruises faded and I lost the cast on my arm, I’d see the gray less and less. Now, they remain the brilliant blue I’ve come to love.
Grave comes to the house, sits on the couch or sits outside on the steps with us, and doesn’t say too much. He doesn’t push me to talk or do anything I don’t want to do. Instead, he lets us do our thing and just sits with us. Every single night he orders dinner for us and eats with us. Then, he goes home after I put the kids to bed. He’s never even tried to do anything with me.
It’s not something I’m used to. My husband, Ray, is the complete opposite of the man known as Grave. My husband is abusive, manipulative, and takes what he wants. Even if it’s not offered freely. It wasn’t always that way with Ray. In the beginning, he was polite, nice, caring, and wanted what was best for me. Now, it’s all about him. What he wants and needs.
When I had our children, I was so excited. Ray didn’t want anything to do with them. Or me. I’m surprised I was even able to carry the kids as long as I did because he beat me regularly. Especially when I began to show. My growing stomach was a daily reminder of the life we were starting but he wanted no part of it. But, that story’s for another time to tell.
Cassidy has been coming around more often. She tries to get me in with the counselors she’s hired and to come to the different programs they’re offering now. While I’d love to attend them all, I don’t want Ray to know where I’m at. He doesn’t have any problem hurting anyone else that’s around me. It’s just a matter of time before he shows up.
The only thing I want to take advantage of while I’m here is getting
my divorce. Once that’s finalized, I’ll be able to move on with my children. Tyler and Kayla are my children and Ray is nothing more than a fucking sperm donor. He gave me the best two things in my life when I had them. Now, I just need to get the rest of my shit together.
The End
Renegade’s Choice Playlist
Conversations In The Dark – John Legend
Till It’s Gone – Yelawolf
Epiphany – Staind
Believe – Staind
Broken – Seether feat. Amy Lee
Outlaw In Me – Brantley Gilbert
Through Glass – Stone Sour
Blurry – Puddle of Mudd
Broken Halos – Chris Stapleton
If You Want A Bad Boy – Brantley Gilbert
Ride – Chase Rice
Bother – Stone Sour
Fine Again – Seether
Wicked Game – Stone Sour
Addicted – Saving Abel
Scars – Papa Roach
Roar – Katy Perry
Counting Stars – OneRepublic
About the Author
Growing up, I was constantly reading anything I could get my hands on. Even if that meant I was reading my grandma’s books that weren’t so age appropriate. I started out reading Judy Blume, then graduated to romance, mainly historical romance, and last year I found an amazing group of Indie authors that wrote MC books. Instantly I fell in love with these books.
For a long time, I’ve wanted to write. I just never had the courage to go through with actually doing it. During a book release party, I mentioned that I wanted to write and I received encouragement from an amazing author. So, I took a leap and wrote my first book. Even though this amazing journey is just starting for me, I wouldn’t have even started if it weren’t for a wonderful group of authors and others that I’ve met along the way.