Never Enough (The Enough Series Book 2)

by Taryn Steele

  I hear footsteps coming up from behind me. I turn and see my dad. His face goes long when he sees the sad expression on my face.

  “What’s wrong poopsie bear?”

  “Jameson is still sick. What if he doesn’t want to come to this party tonight? I’m about to lose my shit Dad.”

  “How sick is he? Does he sound worse than he did this morning?”

  “No, he doesn’t sound worse. It’s not like the flu or anything. I think maybe just a cold, sinuses.”

  “You might have to tell him kiddo. I know you don’t want to but if he thinks it’s just any old party he won’t care to miss it but if he knows it’s partially for him and you put a lot of effort in to it, he’ll suck it up and go.”

  I know my dad is right. I just don’t want him to be. Lily and I have done so good at keeping this party a secret for so long, to have to spoil it at the very last minute slays me. From a distance I see Lily on the phone and we make eye contact. The smile on her face immediately turns to a frown when she sees me talking to my dad. She can tell I’m upset. She ends her call and starts walking toward us.

  “What happened? Did Jameson say he’s not coming? Is he really that sick?”

  “He said he’s not better but not worse either.”

  “I told her she might have to tell him the real reason for the party if he puts up a fight about going,” my dad chimes in.

  “Oh man Hil’. Your dad might be right. I know you don’t want to but if it will get him here you should do it.”

  “I know – I know. You’re both right. I’ll think about it on the drive home and see how he is when I get there. Thanks for your help dad. I’ll see you guys in a couple of hours.”

  I hug them both, and now drive home with anxiety squeezing at my chest.

  I’VE BEEN SITTING in my driveway for eight minutes. I’m making myself more upset by just sitting here. I need to put on my big girl panties and go inside. He could be feeling better by now and I could have wasted the last eight minutes for nothing.

  Suck it up buttercup. Let’s do this.

  Walking in to the house I look to my left and see Jameson lying on the couch watching the television. He doesn’t look like his normal self but he doesn’t look like the grim reaper either. That’s gotta be a plus. Right? I sit down next to him and put my hand on his forehead. It’s not hot. He takes my hand in his and kisses the top of it, then holds my hand to his cheek.

  God, I love him and his sweet gestures.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Eh, my head still hurts and I’m kind of tired. I don’t know what it is.”

  “So what does that mean for the party tonight? It starts at six o’clock. It’s almost three now.”

  “I don’t know. I should probably just stay home and rest. You should still go, have some fun.”

  Fuck!

  I let out a sigh a lot louder than I expected it to be. Jameson sits up and looks at me quizzically. His left eyebrow rising like Dwayne The Rock Johnson does on television.

  “Are you seriously mad that I don’t feel good and don’t want to go to this party?”

  Shit, I think he’s mad.

  “No, I’m not mad. It’s just … “

  “What? Why are you giving me such a fucking problem about this?”

  “Babe, you have to go to the party tonight.”

  “Why? Why the fuck do I have to go when you know I don’t feel good?”

  My frustration is quickly turning to anger at this point towards Jameson. I’m going to blow a gasket and I know I’m going to quickly regret it but part of me doesn’t care either, especially with the way he’s talking to me right now.

  “Because the fucking party is for you asshole! Okay? It’s a surprise thirtieth birthday party for you and Bevan. Are you happy now? After all this time of keeping it a secret it’s fucking blown.”

  I storm out of the room moving full blast to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

  The force of tears is too strong to fight. They break through like logs in a dam breaking down. I’m so mad right now, I can’t catch my breath. I’m mad at Jameson. I’m mad at myself. I’m mad at no one and everyone. I wanted this party to be perfect, and now that I had to spill the surprise to Jameson I feel like it’s all gone to hell.

  “Can I come in?” Jameson quietly asks as he’s knocking on the door while opening it at the same time.

  I look up from my corner of self-pity, sitting on top of the toilet seat lid staring out the window.

  “Sure,” I whisper.

  Jameson walks over towards me, kneeling in front of me placing his hands on my knees.

  “I’m sorry you’re upset, but I’m not the bad guy. I’m sorry you had to ruin the surprise by telling me, but I didn’t plan on getting sick. I’m going to go to the party. I don’t have the flu or anything. I’m not bed ridden, just a little under the weather. It’s probably just a mild sinus infection or something. If it makes you feel better I probably would have stayed home if you didn’t tell me. I’m glad you did. We can still pretend I don’t know.”

  “Lily knows, and I’m sure she’s going to tell Bevan.”

  “They are our best friends. They are the only ones who have to know.”

  “I’m sorry baby. Let’s just chalk it up to shitty timing okay?”

  The look he’s giving me right now is like a puppy in a window looking for a home. I can’t stay mad at him. I have no right to be mad at him anyway. He’s right. It’s just shitty timing. There’s no reason why we can’t still go and have a good time. At least while he’s feeling up to it. If he starts to feel worse then we’ll leave.

  Freshly showered, in our costumes we are ready to go. I keep touching my head to make sure my snake headpiece doesn’t fall off. No one will get that I’m Medusa without it. Jameson has a shit eating grin on his face. He feels so bad ass in his Hercules costume. Yep, we’re going all out Greek mythology on this one.

  I’m happy to see Jameson has a little more color in his cheeks. I think getting up, moving around, a fresh shower and some more sinus medicine has helped him a little. Hopefully a happy atmosphere will add to it as well.

  I text Lily to let her know we’re about ten minutes away; she texts me back in less than two minutes to let me know she’s only about five minutes away but they will wait for us in the parking lot so the guys can walk in at the same time. I’m really getting excited now. I hope it’s the perfect night for Jameson and Bevan.

  When we pull in I spot Lily’s car off to the far left of the large, gravel parking lot. I point to them for Jameson to park next to them. There is a covered porch on the far right of the VFW building and I’m happy no one is outside to see us. It makes the surprise that much better.

  Lily and Bevan step out of their car and they look like they are starring in a movie dated in 60 BC featuring Bevan as Julius Cesar and Lily and his second wife Pompeia. Bevan standing tall, dark and handsome as ever shows off the perfect maroon and gold costume for Cesar. The gold leaves in his hair stand out perfectly with his short, dark hair. Lily looks breathtaking in a light blue, shimmering disguise complete with matching head piece that looks perfect with her blonde hair.

  Walking to the front of the VFW, Lily and I step back so Jameson and Bevan can walk in first, and together. The door is open but there are streamers hanging from above to disguise who is coming in. Lily texted her uncle when we were in the parking lot to let him know we were here so he turned down the music. The guys step in and everyone yells “SURPRISE!” Jameson laughs because he knows what this is all about but Bevan is like a deer in headlights. He has no clue why everyone is staring at him. Lily walks up to his side and breaks the news that the party is for him and Jameson.

  “Happy birthday you old farts!” Lily’s uncle shouts through the microphone.

  The guys laugh and go their separate ways to thank all of the guests for coming. Lily and I dash to the kitchen to check on our Dad’s working hard on the food in the kitchen. They insis
t they are fine and tell us to go set up the tables in the front and get ready to bring the food out. I run around to move some of the appetizers out of the way. I see two small, clear plastic containers of cookies with a grocery store label and $3.99 price sticker on them.

  No fucking way.

  I grab hold of them and show them to Lily.

  “Do you know where these came from?”

  “I don’t know. Let me see them. I’ll ask my dad.”

  “Dad!” She shouts and shows him the packages. “Who brought these cookies?”

  “Marcie!” He shouts back.

  Lily doesn’t say a word. She just smiles and shakes her head.

  “Seriously? I’m sorry but this is her only son. Our dad’s spent a couple hundred of dollars each on food alone and she could only spend eight dollars on store bought cookies.”

  Lily can’t stop laughing and I don’t understand why. I’m pissed.

  “What is so damn funny?”

  “Turn around and see. Her costume couldn’t depict her any better.”

  I turn and look around the room but I can’t find her. Seconds later I hear her laugh and then I see what Lily was laughing at. I can’t control myself and double over in laughter. Marcie is dressed as the most hideous looking witch. Her face is covered in white make-up, dark eyes, and a gross looking mole on her nose. Her head is covered in a stringy white and black wig all the way down her back, to match the white and back witch’s costume.

  “Wow,” is all I can manage to say.

  “Fuck her and her cheap ass cookies. No one will eat them anyway with the awesome cake we have,” Lily says.

  She’s right.

  We spend the next hour making sure everyone is fed, especially the birthday boys and our dad’s. They are working their butts off in the kitchen. Lily and I would be completely screwed without their help today. Our mother’s and mother in law’s are here but they are too busy chatting it up with the guests. Marcie still hasn’t said a word to me since I got here. She has been up Jameson’s ass all night. He can’t even have a conversation alone with anyone else without her hunting him down.

  I feel bad for Jameson. Other than his mother and one cousin no one else in his family came to this party. Most of the guests are Bevan’s family and mine who are here for Jameson. Granted most of Jameson and Bevan’s friends are mutual, the guests here are mostly Bevan’s. If it’s bothering him he’s not showing it. I’m not going to bring it up, not now at least. Maybe I’ll ask him his feelings on it tomorrow over breakfast. He has a smile on his face right now and I want it to stay there.

  I see Lily out of the corner of my eye waving me over to the table with the birthday cake. We decided to keep up with the Halloween theme and had it decorated with a large spider and web with orange, purple, black and white coloring. It looks great.

  We sing to the guys and they enjoy every minute of the attention. Because they are who they are they even take it one step further and cut each other a piece of cake and feed it to one another like we’re at a damn wedding. The guests enjoyed that bit of entertainment and cheered with laughter, even taking pictures to remember the moment.

  Everyone is having a great time. It’s getting late and almost everything is cleaned up. I quietly laugh to myself when I’m packing up food and see that not one person opened Marcie’s pathetic contribution of cookies.

  As I turn around to grab the trash can to toss out the nasty cookies, Jameson steps around the corner and stops me in my tracks. He grabs me by the back of my neck and crashes his lips in to mine. It takes my breath away.

  “Thank you for tonight,” he tells me.

  “It was my pleasure.”

  And it was.

  THE LAST FEW WEEKS have gone by so fast I feel as though I’ve lost track of time. I’ve been working long days and barely have any time with Jameson. When we do see each other we definitely make up for lost time. Our level of intimacy has grown beyond measure. I’m learning not to be so damn self-conscious about my body. I know Jameson loves me and my body. I just have to learn to love it. I’ve been pushing myself really hard with my diet and exercise. I gained a good ten pounds after the wedding, and I did it very quickly. With Christmas just around the corner I know all of the sweet treats will be pouring in at work from customers like they always do. My will power sucks sometimes.

  The alarm clock has gone off at least three times. My stomach hurts and I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to go to work but I know I have to. If I hit the snooze button one more time the alarm will no longer go off and I might never get out of bed if that happens. Jameson is already at work, has been for a few hours now so I can only count on myself to get my ass out of this bed. I force myself to swing my legs to the side, sit up and stretch. Ugh. Stretching makes my stomach feel worse. No more stretching. I make my way downstairs in hopes that a warm shower will relax me and help this crappy feeling I have.

  Continuing with my normal morning routine I grab a bottle of Pepto Bismol from the medicine cabinet to take with me to work in case this stomach issue doesn’t go away as quickly as I hope. I was hoping to make some toast to help settle my stomach but lying in bed for those extra minutes took that opportunity away, drive thru Dunkin Donuts for a bagel it is then.

  I make it to work with fourteen seconds to spare. Not that it matters but I like to be early and they would never give me any crap for being late in the first place. I’m super organized, I work my ass off, and they know it.

  “Damn girl, you must have had one hell of a night to be running in here like that, breakfast in hand and all,” Marianne says as I walk in the door.

  “I wish. I didn’t want to get out of bed, wicked stomach cramps.”

  “Ahh, I just hit the mother load of menopause. No need to be worrying about that anymore.”

  “Ugh, you’re so lucky.”

  I can barely choke down my bagel. My stomach is just not feeling it. I throw it in the garbage and decide if I keep my mind busy and focused on work I’ll forget all about my stomach.

  Emails have been read and responded to. I finished two conference calls and one online meeting. It’s now one o’clock and I’m still exhausted. Marianne comes in through the door to our office and drops a box of saltines and a bottle of ginger ale on my desk. No words, just a wink.

  “Thank you.”

  “I had a feeling you weren’t up for going out to lunch today.”

  She gets me.

  I’ve been sitting at my desk for hours. I need to stretch my legs, and pee. I haven’t peed since I got here. Making my way out in to the main open office, smiling at my co-workers as I pass I rush in to the bathroom feeling a little damp, like I peed in my pants on the way here. Rushing in to a stall I quickly unfastened my pants, drop my panties and let it out. Whoosh! Wow! I really shouldn’t hold it for that long. That is not a good thing for females to do. The last thing I want is a urinary tract infection. I’ve had one before and it is the most excruciating thing ever. As I drop my head in the ultimate bathroom relief I look down at my pants and underwear around my ankles and I see blood – bright red blood. I can feel my eyes growing large. I gasp, holding my breath in. Lifting up from the toilet seat I look inside and see blood mixed with my urine.

  Oh-My-God-Oh-My-God-Oh-My-God!

  “Shit!” I exclaim out loud. How could I be so careless to have not paid attention to my calendar and watched for my period? It’s pointless to drive home to change. I don’t live close enough. I could drive to Walmart. It’s only fifteen minutes away. I haven’t taken my lunch break yet. I decide to roll up some toilet paper to try to dab some of the blood off of my underwear. I roll some more up to put in my underwear to keep from making more of a mess. Cleaning myself up as best as I can I quickly stand up and instantly get a sharp pain in my abdomen. Damn these cramps are coming on a lot harder and faster than any other period I’ve ever had. I zip myself up, go to the sink to clean up then rifle through our girlie basket of goodies. We make sure we have ever
ything for any situation in here. You name it, we have it:

  Tums

  Tylenol

  Dental Floss

  Mouthwash

  Q-Tips

  Midol

  Tampons

  Maxi Pads

  Hair Spray

  Static Guard

  Lint Brush

  Someone even put a two pack of condoms in here. Not sure why but we have been known to go out for happy hour on a Friday here and there. Alcohol can make you do strange things with strange people.

  I grab a tampon and a maxi pad to cover up the mess I already have and go back in to the stall to take care of business.

  Walking like I have a loaded diaper on, back to my desk I grab my keys, my cell phone, my purse and walk to Marianne. Quietly and briefly I tell her what happened so she knows where I’m going. I get a nod, a wink and I’m on my way.

  I want to yell and swear at every slow driver I get stuck behind. This feels like the longest fifteen minute drive ever. Unfortunately the route I took to get to Walmart is narrow, windy back roads instead of the highway so passing is not the smartest or legal option at this point.

  After three minutes of yelling at people for walking in the middle of the parking lot, and not off to the side so I can pass them I pull in to a spot and dash inside. I make a beeline for the women’s section, find a pair of underwear that isn’t bedazzled or made of cheap material. I head to the express checkout register, pay for my undies and hesitate on changing here in their bathroom or drive back to work feeling gross for a few more minutes. Since I’ve had the unfortunate pleasure of having to use the bathrooms here, I keep walking to my car and change at work.

  LYING IN BED, blankly staring at the television, watching a re-run of Friends my stomach is still in knots but strangely my period stopped. That has never happened before, and I’m not sure what to make of it. I told Jameson what happened when I came home. He said I should just chalk it up to an embarrassing fluke. I called Lily while driving home and told her too. She said it was probably stress related and it’s going to be all messed up this month but will get back to normal. She’s probably right.