Never Enough (The Enough Series Book 2)

by Taryn Steele

  JAMESON AND I DECIDED to wait a couple of hours to call people. It’s early on a Tuesday morning. Even though we know most people will be waking up soon for work we don’t want to wake them up any earlier.

  We were both starving so we had breakfast together from the hospital cafeteria then Jameson went outside to make phone calls. When he came back in he said my mother was going to stop at her job to tell her boss that she was coming here and would be back later so I’m sure she’ll be here within the hour. I asked him what his mother said and his face went blank and all he said was, “She said congratulations. She’ll be by sometime today.” Her only child had a baby today, her first grandchild. I was expecting more excitement but I guess I was wrong. That’s disappointing but I’m not going to let it ruin this day.

  Holding my bundle of joy with her tiny hand wrapped tightly around my finger I can’t stop smiling. Her pink cheeks, her soft strands of brown hair on top of her head, I can’t stop running my fingertips over. The couple of times she has opened her eyes they appear to be a grayish-blue. I know it will change over time but I would bet money they will be more blue than gray.

  Just as I’m falling in love with Maryn all over again Jameson walks in with my mother Theresa right behind him with a pink, heart shaped balloon in her hand. She puts the balloon on a nearby table already cluttered with junk, removes her jacket and reaches her arms out to hold Maryn. First time mom instincts kick in and I tell her she is not getting her hands on my baby until she washes her hands. That goes for every single visitor we have today. I don’t care who it is. The President. The Pope. You are not touching my baby until you wash your hands.

  After about thirty minutes of my mother oohing and aahing over my beautiful Maryn she tells us she has to get back to work but she’ll be back tonight with my dad, and they will pick up a pizza so we don’t have to eat more hospital food. I am totally down for pizza.

  Maryn has been the perfect baby all morning. She has only fussed a little and has been sleeping like an angel. Word has been spreading about Maryn’s birth because our hospital room phone has not stopped ringing. My parents’ family friend Patricia just called and asked if she could stop by after lunch. I could never turn her away. She is one of the nicest ladies I have ever met, and have known for many years.

  Just as I hang up with her I hear our privacy curtain whip open, in walks Marcie. No knock. No peek around the corner first to make sure she isn’t interrupting an exam with the doctor. She just let’s herself in. No balloon. No flowers. She rushes to Jameson to hug him and say congratulations. She turns to me and just says, “Hi.” Before Marcie can do or say anything else he tells her to wash her hands before holding the baby. She chuckles a bit at his request but surprisingly keeps her mouth shut.

  After Marcie washed her hands and walks around my bed I hand her to Jameson. Marcie takes a seat on the love seat in the room and puts her arms out for Maryn. Marcie finally smiles.

  “I stopped at your house to get your mail. You two haven’t cleaned the house in a while huh? It was kind of dusty.” Marcie informs us.

  “You were at our house?” I ask.

  “Ma, we’ve only been gone a day. That wasn’t necessary, and yes in case you haven’t noticed we have been busy but we’ve also kept up with keeping our house clean. Maybe not to your likings but that doesn’t matter.”

  “Oh, Jameson. Your dentist left you a message on your machine. They have an opening this afternoon for a teeth cleaning. You should go.”

  “You listened to our messages on our machine?” I ask.

  “Ma, did you not notice that we just had a baby a few hours ago? Why on Earth would I go to the dentist?”

  “Well, I … Sorry I was just looking out for you.”

  “Marcie, while we appreciate the thought of you looking out for our mail and Jameson’s teeth it’s not necessary.” I attempt to say in the nicest way possible as much as I’d rather say STAY THE FUCK OUT OF OUR HOUSE WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION YOU INTRUSIVE TROLL!

  I find myself torn with my feelings. Marcie has been retired from working with the state for a short time now. She didn’t come to see her first grandchild until hours after it was born. What were you doing that was so much more important, other than invading our house doing God knows what? Probably planting hidden cameras and microphones. Then she left after only staying for ten, maybe fifteen minutes. Don’t get me wrong. I am more than happy it was a short visit because she immediately pissed me off with the whole dentist appointment and letting herself in our house deal. At the same time I can’t help but feel bad for Jameson. It’s hard to read him right now. He’s obviously tired. So am I. We’ve been awake for over twenty-four hours. We’ve had a large number of visitors. My parents came and went with the pizza they promised. My brother never showed up. He didn’t call or text either. Whatever.

  It’s after eleven at night and I just want to sleep but apparently Maryn has decided now is a good time to finally wake up after sleeping all day. This is going to bite us in the ass. Here I thought all day what a great baby she was being cute, cuddly and quiet. Yeah, now I get what her agenda was all along. ‘Let’s see how many hours I can keep Mommy and Daddy awake for.’

  There is a knock at the door and another new nurse arrives. New shift. New nurse. I’m used to it by now. Answering the same questions. Opening my legs to more and more people to take a look at my golden gem of a vagina. I can honestly say I never thought I would care how many different people have had their head and hands down there until today. Do your thing. I truly don’t care at this point.

  Nurse Betty appears to be about my age, long dark hair, average height, average build and a snarky attitude. After answering all of her questions she suggests that we let her take Maryn to the nursery. I asked her why because it was on my birth plan that I didn’t want the baby to leave our room. I’ve seen enough Lifetime movies to know there is a Delta Burke lurking around hospitals looking to snatch a cute baby like my own.

  “Let her take Maryn. Just for a little bit. We need some sleep. We’ve been up for over thirty-six hours Hillary.” Jameson chimes in.

  “Okay. I guess it couldn’t hurt.”

  I don’t remember much as my head fell back on the pillow. What I do remember is seeing the time when Nurse Betty brought Maryn back in to the room thirty-seven minutes later. That’s it? That’s all the nurses give couples who have been up days, thirty-seven minutes?

  What the fuck?

  “She’s hungry,” Nurse Betty tells me as she pushes the baby crib next to my bed, takes Maryn out, hands her to me and walks out.

  I look over at Jameson and he is out like a light. I don’t want to wake him. I’ll need him later when I want to nap after I’ve fed Maryn. We just need to come up with a plan to change around this little girls schedule. This sleep all day, awake at night thing is not going to work for me.

  MARYN IS OFFICIALLY one day old and I’m a zombie. I don’t know how the hell I’m still awake but I am. Thankfully she fell asleep on my chest for another twenty minutes after I fed her last night. As far as I know we don’t really have any visitors coming. I think everyone was excited to come yesterday.

  I was hopeful that we would get to go home today but that is not the case. Even though we have been in the hospital for the minimal hours Maryn wasn’t born until almost after the first twenty-four we were here. So, therefore we will go home tomorrow. Jameson is going to make a quick trip home, take a normal shower instead of the tiny shower here in my room. He said he’ll stop at the store to pick up a few things so we don’t have to run out for coffee or milk. I asked him to stop at my work to show them some pictures of Maryn. I know they would love to see what she looks like.

  While Jameson is out the hospital photographer was making his rounds but he caught a great sight of my bare chest because he chose not to knock, and took a page out of Marcie’s handbook. He walked right around the privacy curtain and saw me feeding Maryn. Did you like what you saw buddy? Get a good look? I bet you�
�ll be knocking before entering everyone else’s room, huh? I have a feeling he’s not going to come back. I’m okay with that. I heard the pictures here are ridiculously expensive. I was planning on going to the JCPenney studio at the mall in a couple of weeks anyway.

  Maryn is doing better today staying awake more while the sun is out. Breast feeding is a bit frustrating. I can’t get her to latch on just right, plus my milk isn’t really in either. The lactation consultant that stopped in this morning gave me some tips and told me to be ready in another two days or so. She said I’ll wake up and I’ll feel like bowling balls are on my chest and my top will probably be soaking wet. Awesome. Fun mommy times. Hopefully by then Maryn and I will have this breast feeding thing down to a science.

  Nurse Nancy is back on rotation and I am happy that I can see her before we leave. The delivery experience was so overwhelming I didn’t get a proper chance to thank her for everything. She fills us in on all of the check-ups that will be done for me and Maryn tomorrow morning and she will do her best to make sure we are discharged before lunch. I can’t wait to take Maryn home. While I’m going over a few things with Nurse Nancy Jameson has had to silence his phone twice already because Marcie keeps calling him. We both know she’ll keep calling no matter what so Jameson excuses himself from the room to call her back. Some body better be severely injured or dead for her to keep calling like that. It’s not like we aren’t in a situation here ourselves. I have a feeling Nancy gets what’s going on. She gives me a quick wink and tells me she’ll be back soon to check on us.

  A few minutes later Jameson returns. He plops himself down on the love seat that has been his bed for the past two days and lets out an exasperated sigh. I turn my head to him with eyebrows raised but refuse to say a word. I can only imagine what that phone conversation with Marcie entailed.

  “So, my mother is pissed because I told her we didn’t want anyone at the house when we come home from the hospital tomorrow.”

  “You mean the same women who took her sweet ass time coming here yesterday to see her first grandchild and only stayed for ten minutes? Of course she is. And the emergency that required her repetitive phone calls as if her house was on fire?”

  “Absolutely nothing of importance.” He tells me.

  I simply nod while biting my lip. I shake my head in frustration then quickly snap out of it as Maryn starts to fuss in my arms then my frustration quickly fades and turns to love. I’ve told her I love her about a million times since she’s been born. Jameson laughs at me every time I say it, and every single time I tell him the same thing, there are never enough I love you’s.

  OUR FIRST NIGHT HOME was a success. Neither Jameson nor myself freaked out for any reason. Even though it rained all day and night it was kind of perfect. Those are the days you just want to stay home cuddled up on the couch, under blankets watching television all day. We did just that in between feeding, crying and changing diapers. We’ve had a few phone calls this morning from friends, family and co-workers asking if they can stop by this weekend to meet Maryn. I am even more excited that our close friends have said they will stay for as long as we want them and encourage us to take advantage of their visit and we should nap. As a new mom I’m frightened to leave Maryn with anyone regardless of who they are but I’m so tired. I would kill for a nap.

  Just as I see Marianne and Paula pulling in to the driveway the house phone rings. I look at the caller ID and I see it’s my boss’s cell phone. I look at the clock on the wall above the phone and realize the time. It’s before 5:00 p.m. They must have snuck out early. I pick up the phone while keeping a close eye out for the girls so I can make sure they don’t say anything when they come in the house. I don’t want them to get in trouble.

  My boss Dan isn’t usually a man of many words so when he kept talking about how great having children are and kept congratulating me I was shocked and honored that he took the time to call me. I didn’t expect it. It was a nice surprise.

  I sit down with Marianne and Paula in the living room, watching them take turns holding Maryn. They catch me up on the work place rumors, the new customers and projects. I smile and nod at their stories so grateful I’m on maternity leave for the next ten weeks. Paula tells me how she never got to experience a vaginal birth and had to have C-sections with her son and daughter. It sounds painful having your stomach sliced open and then pulled apart.

  “I don’t know if I would like that Paula. Plus I would miss out on these super sexy knitted underwear they have me wearing for the next couple of days with ice packed maxi pads for my poor swollen, bleeding va-jay-jay.” I say pulling down my sweat pants a few inches to show them the underwear.

  Marianne can’t stop laughing at me. “Look at those things.” She says pointing at me.

  “I don’t know what you’re laughing at. These things are dead sexy.” I tell her with a wink. “You want a pair to bring home to Mark. He could tear them to shreds in one second. It would probably turn you on.”

  “I’m glad to see new mommy exhaustion hasn’t stolen your sick sense of humor.”

  “Never.”

  IT’S BEEN NINE MONTHS since Maryn was born and I feel like we’ve assembled a great routine. Maryn wakes up at 4 a.m., we go downstairs and I feed her. Once she has eaten and burped I bring her in the bathroom in her papasan chair while I take a shower. Her bags are packed for daycare the night before so it’s one less thing for me to do since I’m on my own in the morning because Jameson is already at work. We found a great home daycare less than ten miles from home and close to my job. Irene is a sweet Italian woman in her late fifties with three grown children who are out on their own. She missed having children in the house so she got her license to provide daycare in her home. There is one three year old boy named Nathan who has been there for two years and another boy named Lance who shares the same exact birthdate as Maryn. I love the individual attention Maryn gets at Irene’s compared to a facility daycare. It’s not cheap, that definitely sucks. Sometimes I think I went in to the wrong business. Irene originally wanted almost three hundred dollars a week but there was no way we could afford that. I think she fell in love with Maryn as much as we fell in love with her so she lowered her price for us.

  Just this morning Irene was joking around with me about how badly Jameson and I need a date night. She even volunteered to take Maryn overnight. None of the grandparents have even done that. Rick is the only exception since he up and high tailed it out of Massachusetts to go down south. I want to say yes but is that crossing some kind of daycare line? Is it weird that her first overnight stay would be with her daycare lady? She does know Maryn better than anyone else other than myself and Jameson. In theory she would be the best option out of anybody. I’m kind of excited actually. I’m sure Jameson will be too. Let’s do this!

  Tonight is the night. Our first date since Maryn was born and not just any date, an overnight. As we kiss Maryn goodnight Irene gets all ‘Italian mom’ on us and tells us to enjoy our night and to sleep in. She said she we better not call her before 9 a.m. saying we were coming over to pick Maryn up. She’s so incredibly thoughtful.

  We go to one of our favorite indulgent restaurants, The Cheesecake Factory. Starting the night off right with a Red Raspberry Martini is a must. Jameson follows suit with a dark and tan. Neither of us ate lunch so we go all out at dinner, bread, salad, stuffed mushrooms for an appetizer then entrees. We’re so full we have no room for cheesecake for dessert. There is something unethical about not eating the cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory so we order ours to go.

  On the twenty-five minute drive home we talk about watching a movie when we get home. Comfy in our pajamas we snuggle together in bed looking through the movie channels hoping to find something we haven’t seen yet. Scrolling through I point out a few and Jameson nixes them. Jameson points out a few and I nix them. We finally come upon Four Brothers and agree. I will not argue watching a movie with Mark Wahlberg and Tyrese Gibson.

  The phone is ringin
g, the sun is shining in my eyes and I can feel Jameson ‘poking’ me in my backside. What the hell time is it? The last thing I remember is cuddling with Jameson and watching Four Brothers.

  Oh geez. We fell asleep during the movie. How sad are we?

  The phone rings again. I get worried that it might be Irene so I jump out of bed and run to the cordless phone on the other side of our bedroom. I pick it up and see that it’s Marcie. I don’t answer it. I crawl back in to bed with Jameson and he pulls me close.

  “Babe, we are so sad. We fell asleep on our first date night.” I tell him.

  “What time is it?” He asks.

  “8:15 a.m.”

  “Mmm, so we still have plenty of time before we have to pick up Maryn. Make up for lost time from last night.”

  Before I have a chance to say another word Jameson turns me on my back, swings his leg over me so he’s on top, straddling me. He lifts up my night shirt and begins placing small kisses all over my stomach. I want to immediately pull my shirt back down to stop him. I’ve gained so much weight through this pregnancy. Even with Jameson I’m incredibly insecure about my post pregnancy body. The stretch marks, the extra fat … everywhere. It’s repulsive. As sensual as Jameson’s kisses and touch is right now my body is not reacting. My mind won’t stop with its negative thoughts.

  “Stop it.” Jameson demands.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I can see the wheels turning in your head. I’ve hit all of your magic spots, and your keep moving your arm to cover your stomach.”

  “Jameson …”

  “No Hillary. Those marks you are trying to hide aren’t damages, they are earned badges from an incredible experience your body went thru. Wear them with pride; because of them you gave me the greatest gift you could ever give me.”

  I look Jameson in the eyes for the first time since he started talking. I’m ashamed of what my body has turned in to but when he tells me how he sees me it changes everything. I raise my hand to his face and brush my thumb over his cheek. My silent way of telling him thank you for his kind words. I bring my hand down and pull my night shirt over my head and toss it on to the floor. Jameson goes after my neck, one of my favorite spots and starts nipping and kissing. My body instantly responds sending tingles throughout. I grab his cock in my hand and start stroking it while he continues his assault on me, now going after my ear lobes. God I love that.