No Regrets

by Ostrosky, John, Frehley, Ace, Layden, Joe

  When I got back to New York, I went into the studio and recorded the rest of the songs for my new studio album. After completion of the overdubs, I set my sights on California and hired Marty Frederickson to mix and master the CD, with an assist from Anthony Focx. The tracks were sounding great, and while mixing in Burbank, California, I started getting lonely and decided to call up an old acquaintance.

  I met Rachael Gordon in 2008 while I was appearing at the House of Blues in San Diego. Her good friend Victor (who was a big fan of mine) brought her to the show not knowing what to expect. Upon meeting Rachael, I was immediately intrigued and invited her to come back to my hotel for a visit. When she appeared at my door with a group of friends, I asked her to leave the rest of her entourage outside except for her girlfriend Vanessa. My guitar roadie, Mark, was in the room, and he expressed a desire to meet Rachael’s friend. They politely entered my room, and after a few minutes I cornered Rachael and engaged in a conversation to try to get to know her better. While I was talking to her our eyes locked, and I had a very strange sensation. It felt like I had known her my whole life. But how could I? We’d just met. The only thing I could surmise was that we must have had a relationship with each other in a past life.

  As we continued talking, the phone rang. It was my road manager. I had a show in Los Angeles the following night, and he informed me that everyone was heading up there now; he suggested I leave as well. I told Rachael I had to split, but not without inviting her to come to L.A. for the weekend. Unfortunately, she declined.

  “I’m not that kind of girl,” she said.

  We kept in touch sporadically over the next several months, but our schedules wouldn’t allow for a reunion until more than a year had passed. In April 2009 Rachael accepted my invitation to join me in Burbank, where I was finishing my new CD. We spent the entire weekend together and formed a solid bond. She returned a few weeks later and we spent another weekend together. Slowly but surely, we fell in love. Rachael was the first woman I’d met who I felt really understood me; she’s also taught me how to enjoy life again without the use of alcohol and drugs.

  I was surprised to discover that Rachael was also a singer. She’d released a few CDs and done some touring, too. With so much in common, our relationship blossomed, and by July we decided to get a place together in Los Angeles. In the fall she accompanied me on a long European tour. Upon returning to the States we decided to recuperate in Las Vegas for the holidays. After giving it some thought, we decided to get engaged on New Year’s Eve, 2010. We’ve been together ever since.

  My latest album, Anomaly, was released on September 15, 2009, to rave reviews, exactly three years after I became sober. It debuted at number 27 on the Billboard 200, which was again special (remember—27 is my lucky number).

  But that fall was a time of both celebration and sadness. Shortly before Anomaly was released I got the call from a friend at Gibson Guitars who informed me that the great Les Paul had passed away. I had met Les many years earlier and thought he was just a delight to be around. I was lucky enough to have had the pleasure of jamming with Les, and I’ll never forget that day. Les was always up and positive and never had a bad word for anyone. Sometimes he’d even crack silly jokes. For example…

  “Ace, you know why I like women with small hands?”

  “I don’t know,” I said.

  “’Cause they make my pecker look bigger!”

  Les was a great human being and a creative genius. He was the inventor of multitrack recording and the electric guitar… and so much more.

  Some time later I got another call and was asked if I would make a presentation at the New Jersey Hall of Fame to Les Paul’s son, Russ. The ceremony honored New Jerseyans who had made invaluable contributions to society with a Lifetime Achievement Award. Along with Les the honorees included Danny DeVito, Susan Sarandon, and Jack Nicholson, to name a few. I thought it was such an honor to be asked to present the award to Russ Paul, and I quickly accepted.

  Rachael accompanied me to the ceremony, along with my manager, Dave Frey, and my assistant, John Ostrosky. It was a star-studded event, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I walked out with my Ace Frehley Signature series Les Paul and explained to the audience that it was one of Les Paul’s creations—with a little help from me. It was a night to remember. And I know Les was up in heaven, looking down at us with a big smile on his face.

  EPILOGUE

  New York City

  October 5, 2010

  Now here’s a curious moment.

  I’m wandering around backstage at Carnegie Hall—Carnegie fuckin’ Hall!—waiting to take my turn at the mike. How improbable is it that I’m here, participating in something called Redemption Song, an event billed as “an evening of conversation and performance exploring the relationship between artistry, dependency, recovery and longevity”?

  How unlikely?

  How remarkable?

  Not that I don’t belong…

  Artistry, dependency, recovery and longevity.

  I certainly know a few things about the first couple of items on that list. And I’m learning about the third. It’s the last one—longevity—that still has me a little stumped. There are times I wake up in the morning and feel like I can easily ponder the inner workings of quantum mechanics, but other mornings I’m lucky if I can find my ass with both hands. Regardless, I toss off the covers, greet the new day with a smile, and get on with the business of life. God knows I’m trying to do it right this time around.

  I personally believe this: We have only today; yesterday’s gone and tomorrow is uncertain. That’s why they call it the present. And sobriety really is a gift… for those who are willing to receive it.

  A few years ago I made an appearance at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, where they were honoring Les Paul, shortly before he passed away, with a weeklong celebration of his life achievements in the music industry. I had met Henry Juszkiewicz (CEO of Gibson USA) about twenty years earlier and we had become good friends over the years. I got up in front of all these people, talked about my career and my sobriety, and told them about the last time Henry and I had spent any time together.

  “Henry is a very generous guy,” I said. “He threw a big birthday party for me. I was supposed to be there are at seven-thirty, and I think I showed up around one o’clock in the morning.”

  The audience laughed, which was fine, but the memory made me cringe—all those people waiting for me to arrive, but I was just too wasted and kept missing my flights. Henry and my other friends at Gibson had taken the time to organize a birthday party, and I was just oblivious to all their hard work.

  I apologized publicly that night at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. “And now that I’m sober,” I added, “I don’t have to worry about things like that happening anymore.”

  I paused.

  “I mean, I’m still late all the time… but at least I’m straight.”

  Everyone laughed again, then burst into applause. It felt good to get that off my chest, since I’d been holding it inside for years.

  I still work on my sobriety and attend meetings when I can. I need to remember what I used to be like, and how lousy I felt both physically and mentally toward the end. How irresponsible I was, and how it affected my coworkers and loved ones. I believe all the mistakes and dangerous detours were things I needed to go through to get where I am today.

  I draw strength from the pain I went through, and only now am I beginning to realize it was part of a much larger plan that is continually unfolding, every day. I’m very thankful I was given a second chance at life. Today I enjoy performing live, writing and recording, and traveling more than ever before. I feel like my eyes have been opened.

  After attending Bill Aucoin’s funeral last year in Florida, Rachael and I decided to go on a road trip and drive cross-country back to Los Angeles. Even though I’d been to most of the places we visited while on tour with KISS and the Ace Frehley Band, I saw everything in a different light, a
nd made discoveries that totally blew my mind! Visiting Monument Valley and Mount Rushmore made me feel like I was ten years old again; now we’re planning a trip to visit the Pyramids at Giza.

  Which brings us back to Redemption Song and Carnegie Hall, and a night I never could have imagined. My sponsor, Jimmy, also is in attendance, offering a little monologue about the night we met following my wrong-way trip through White Plains back in ’83, and the unlikely friendship that arose from that encounter. The story is by way of introduction. That’s the format for the evening—a little talking, and a lot of music, performed by an eclectic group of artists: Rickie Lee Jones, Guns N’ Roses drummer Steven Adler, Run DMC frontman Darryl McDaniels, and me. We’re very different people, of course, with different backgrounds, different tastes in music, and different points of view on any number of subjects. Our commonality—our bond—is that we all are addicts.

  But we’re musicians, too, and now it is my turn to play the part. The crowd applauds warmly as I take a seat on the stage, guitar in hand. There are only two of us out here, me and my buddy Eddie Ojeda, from Twisted Sister, also on guitar. I start to tune up a little, when suddenly it dawns on me: this is the first time I’ve performed this song live, with just acoustic guitars.

  “We’re gonna need your help on this,” I tell the audience. “Because we don’t have a drummer.”

  Everyone laughs. It’s a friendly room, that’s for sure. Suddenly the laughter melts into applause as Steven Adler appears to my right.

  “What am I?” he blurts out. “Chopped liver?”

  I give Steven a little nod, then slowly begin to tap my foot. Eddie does the same. The tapping grows louder as Steven takes up the cue and stomps about the stage, pumping his fists in time, and finally putting his hands together. The audience joins in, and soon the entire room is rocking.

  I look over at Eddie and smile, and together we begin to play. I can’t remember how many times I’ve performed this song in my hometown, but that night seems magically different. I’m overcome with emotion and my eyes begin to water as I glance around the entire room. I start singing the first verse, and the energy in the air becomes electric. As I approach the chorus I am filled with a new sense of accomplishment and pride in the message, which, as always, is open to interpretation.

  Here I am, again in this city,

  With a fistful of dollars

  And you’d better believe… I’m back!

  Back in the New York Groove!

  And a California suntan doesn’t suck!

  Awk!

  A SPECIAL THANKS

  I would imagine almost everyone who’s ever written a book about their life experiences has remembered stories after the fact, thinking, Shit, I forgot to include this story, or I should have told that one differently.…

  I’d like to take the opportunity now to thank my publisher, Simon & Schuster and MTV/VH1 Books, for being very patient with me and extending my deadline several months. The additional time allowed me to do some major rewrites with the help of my assistant, John Ostrosky. (Thank you, John.)

  Let’s face it—my memory isn’t what it used to be. Speaking with old friends and coworkers jarred my memory, allowing me to recapture the true flavor of some of the stories within these pages.

  I’d also like to thank my fiancée, Rachael, for putting up with all my mood swings at home and while vacationing in the Bahamas.

  My manager, Dave Frey, and his assistant, Debi, never stopped believing in me and gave me positive feedback and support when I hit a brick wall mentally.

  And last but not least, I’d like to thank my coauthor, Joe Layden!

  PHOTO INSERT

  All photos courtesy of the author unless otherwise noted.

  Baby picture, 1951

  1st grade

  Age twelve

  My confirmation (Grace Lutheran Church)

  Mom and Dad

  Easter, 1954

  The Kids (Mosholu Parkway)

  Mom and Dad (Dad looking like a gangster!)

  4th grade

  Graduation, 1964

  Photo booth with Billy, 1964

  Greenwich Village, 1967

  Wearing my Mr. Freedom shirt, 1969

  Saginaw, Michigan, 1965

  Feeding a llama with Mom at Catskill Game Farm, 1963

  Onstage with Magic People, Mount Saint Michael Dance, 1968

  Photo session with Molimo

  My bedroom wall, 1967

  Graduation, 1964 (Bronx Botanical Gardens)

  Me and my girlfriend Roberta, at Poe Park

  High school award-winning watercolor

  Molimo playing at the Village Gate

  Magic People show, 1969

  Philadelphia, 1988 Chris Ordinsky (Courtesy of the Author)

  Smokin’ guitar, on the Just for Fun tour

  At the airport, Boston, 1977

  Party with the crew in Europe, 1975

  Bill Aucoin and me, 1975

  The boys before takeoff, 1975

  Vacation in Miami, 1977

  Alex from Rush, performing “The Bag”

  Bob dressed as an alien (Port Jervis)

  Hunting trip with Bob and Frank, Port Jervis, 1976

  Relaxing by the pool

  On the bus, 1977

  With my ’59 Les Paul, 1978 Courtesy of Bob Gruen

  Hangin’ with Buddy

  In the control room with Anton Fig and Eddie Solan, 1978

  Winter hunting trip with my Uzi, 1981

  Wilton Estate

  Wilton Estate

  On the set of the “Insane” video, 1989

  With Lisa and friends

  Me and Seamus in Wilton, Connecticut

  DeWitt Clinton High School magazine I designed

  “Spaceman” painting from 1993 (rendered in Infini-D)

  First KISS button I designed, 1973

  An early flyer I designed for the band Honey, 1969

  Anomaly CD art, designed by me

  Anomaly tour VIP laminate I designed

  On the KISS jet the day after my accident in Dallas

  Winning fifty grand in Atlantic City

  With my dear friend, the late Dimebag Darrell (Guitar World photo shoot) Courtesy of Lorinda Sullivan

  With Paul at the Beacon Theatre after-show party Courtesy of Lydia Criss/Sealed with a Kiss

  Me and Anton the day after the Porsche accident

  Mixing with Eddie Kramer and Scott Mabuchi Courtesy of Ebet Roberts

  Gene at our wedding, 1976

  In Wilton, Connecticut

  Gene and me when we appeared on The Robert Klein Show Courtesy of Ebet Roberts

  The Tomorrow show with Tom Snyder

  KISS horsing around in drag with Billy and Eddie

  Me, Jeanette, and Hanna in wigs!

  With Jeff Beck at a Les Paul tribute concert Courtesy of Getty

  With my buddy Slash at VH1 Rock Honors Courtesy of Getty

  Ace Frehley Band, Australian Tour 2010 Courtesy of John Raptis

  Vacationing in the Bahamas with Rachael

  At a New York Dolls show, Halloween 1973

  With Monique at the House of Blues, for a Dimebag Darrell fund-raiser

  At Bob Gruen’s apartment, 2004 Courtesy of Bob Gruen

  Vacationing with Rachael in Puerto Vallarta

  Monument Valley, Utah

  Jamming with Les Paul at the Iridium Courtesy of Bob Gruen

  Jamming with Charlie and Cousin John in New Bern, North Carolina, 1957

  Bottom: Ace Frehley Band at Sweden Rock Festival, 2009 Courtesy of Henry Smith

  We hope you enjoyed reading this Gallery Books eBook.

  Sign up for our newsletter and receive special offers, access to bonus content, and info on the latest new releases and other great eBooks from Gallery Books and Simon & Schuster.

  or visit us online to sign up at

  eBookNews.SimonandSchuster.com

  Layden, Joe, No Regrets