“What…” I cleared my throat and stood in a rush. “What happened?”
Jason put an arm around John and tears rushed down both their faces.
Lane wiped his arm across his face. “I looked up and saw you. I couldn’t move. I…” A tear rolled down his cheek. “When I turned back…”
I sprinted past everyone and fell to my knees beside Max in the snow. I looked at the twins through my tears, one of them lying motionless, face down, the other bent over with the force of his sobs. The blue and black bunnyhugs in front of me blurred and I blinked to clear my vision. Which one had worn which this morning? I reached over the blue bunnyhug in the snow and touched the black one softly.
“I didn’t lock the door.” Grant’s hazel eyes met mine. “I didn’t lock the door.”
“It’s… it’s not your fault.” I pulled him to my chest and wrapped my arms around him. “It’s not your fault,” I whispered.
Jenny made her way to Max’s side and handed him his coat. “Put it on.” She knelt beside him and put a hand on his knee.
Brat whined and Max looked up with a frown. “Brat says we need to move.”
“Now?” Shawn pushed away from the building.
“Now.”
The dog barked to emphasize his point.
“I’m not leaving him,” whispered Grant.
“None of us wants to leave him,” agreed John who’d made his way back outside.
Jason put a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll deal with this. Go deal with Lane.”
I glanced at Jenny as I entered the shop. She sat on the box by the window, her rifle on her lap, her face pale.
“Lane’s in the bathroom,” she whispered.
I took a few deep breaths to calm myself and listened outside the bathroom door.
“Lane?” My heart wrenched at the sound of his sobs. “Lane, come on. Open the door.” I turned the handle and kicked myself for thinking he might not have locked it. I pulled my jackknife out of my pocket and unlocked it from the outside. “I’m coming in.”
I decided to leave the light off for the time being. I shut the door behind me and flicked on the scented plugin to get a bit of light before shutting the door and relocking it. Lane sat in the corner by the toilet, his arms wrapped around his knees, his face hidden. Wide shoulders hunched and shuddered. I dropped the lids and sat on the toilet.
“It wasn’t…”
“Don’t.” His voice was muffled in his arms. “I was… right there and… and I… froze.” He turned his head to look at me, his dark eyes glowing with the red light of the plugin. “He screamed… I heard… I heard things breaking… in him…”
Tears spilled down my face and I sank to the floor in front of him so I could wrap my arms around him. Not finding any words, I held him, hoping it would be enough to ease some of the guilt he felt. What was I supposed to say? That it was alright? That everything was going to be okay? How could I try to talk him into thinking something when I didn’t believe it myself?
A soft knock on the door interrupted my thoughts.
“We have to move. Brat says we have an hour before another pack of Yellow Eyes shows up.” Max walked away from the door.
Lane wiped his arms over his face and used some toilet paper to blow his nose before standing.
I took his hands in mine and gazed up at him. He looked exhausted, broken. His bloodshot eyes met mine and he gave me a pitiful attempt at a smile.
“This isn’t all on you, Lane.” I reached up and put a hand on his face. “You have to let the rest of us do our share, too, okay?”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ve spent the better part of my life taking care of people, Gabs, you know that. I’m not just going to quit now.”
“I’m not telling you to quit giving a shit. I’m telling you to take a step back and let us help you. You’re burning out.”
He shook his head. “If I start slacking and something happens to you… Christ, Gabby, I froze for a second and now Brent is dead.” He reached up and used the heel of his hand to wipe away fresh tears. “Don’t tell me it’s not my fault.” He inhaled deeply and managed to calm himself. “Let’s go. We need to get the trucks loaded.” He gave my hand a squeeze and marched out the bathroom.
I decided to start packing the bathroom since I was already in there. I grabbed one of the duffle bags from the office and filled it with absolutely everything I could find into it. Shampoo, pads, tampons, toilet paper, razors, scissors… if it was in the bathroom, it went in the bag.
Once it was full and the bathroom was emptied of all the necessities, I went to where the men had backed three of the trucks into the shop. Lane and Shawn were putting one of the deep freezes into the back of our one ton. As Jenny and Marie finished packing canned goods into boxes, Jason and John were bringing them to Pete’s truck. Pete and Robbie were grabbing backpacks and duffle bags full of clothes from everyone’s respective spots in the shop and throwing them into the back of the third truck. Max was sitting with Grant on the window box, both of them looking at the floor. Ashley watched the whole proceedings with wide eyes from her car seat.
I went to help Jenny and Marie with the food. The silence in the shop was suffocating. Other than the odd grunt or sound a box being put down, no one made a noise. I swallowed hard. I thought of Brent, how he’d been so amused at being put in the program.
He’d shook my hand then brought it up to his lips with a sly grin, his sixteen year old self just as confident and cocky as he’d been yesterday. If he’d been amused at being put in the program, then I couldn’t lie, I’d been shocked. Most of the kids we’d been given had temper issues, drug and alcohol problems, and came from miserable homes. The twins’ only downfall was to have been born into one of the wealthiest families in Prince Albert. A pair of spoiled brats, they’d grown up used to getting what they wanted and doing what they pleased. At the age of fourteen, they’d decided that stealing cars and going for joy rides was the thing to do. A few bail outs from daddy dear hadn’t helped to instill any responsibility in the boys.
I caught a glimpse of Grant walking into the back room and followed him.
“Hey.” He moved over on the bundle of four by fours so I could sit.
“Hey.”
“Is Lane okay?”
I nodded. “He’ll be alright. You?”
He shrugged. “Not good.” He swallowed hard. “What am I going to do, Gabby? He’s always been here. We’ve always been together…” He wiped his arm across his face. “Do you remember when he broke up with Melanie last year?”
“Yeah.”
“He was so upset. Not about the break up… I mean, I guess he was upset about that, too. He really did like her.”
When he didn’t elaborate, I put a hand on his knee. “I never did hear what happened.”
He scoffed. “She gave him an ultimatum. She said she was tired of me being around all the time. Told him it was time to grow up. It was either her, or me.”
I started to laugh and was glad when he smiled.
“Not a smart move,” I chuckled.
He shook his head. “No. And I mean, really, it was a miracle she’d stayed with him for as long as she had, right? I mean, dude was annoying. It’s not normal to sing that much. And dance. Who just drops whatever they’re doing, grabs another person, and just starts dancing to whatever song he happens to be singing? And he didn’t care who he danced with either. Remember when he grabbed Jason and tried to get him to dance?”
I snorted at the memory. “Jason looked like he was going to knock him out.”
“I know, right?”
He cleared his throat and put a hand to his chest. “It feels empty, Gabby.” Tears slipped down his cheeks and this time he let them fall. “It’s like half of me is gone. I… I keep thinking he’ll come waltzing into the room and I’m going to get to throw something at him and tell him he’s an idiot… But he’s not and I won’t.” A sob raked through him and I put my arms around him. “He’s gon
e… isn’t he? I mean… this isn’t just… a shitty dream anymore… This shit’s real… I’m never going to see my brother again…”
“I’m so sorry, Grant.” My sobs joined his and I held him, knowing there was nothing I could do that would make losing his brother any easier.
Jason cleared his throat. “We’re all set.”
Grant wiped his face with his shirt. “I’m just going to stay.”
Lane rounded the corner in time to hear Grant’s declaration. “You’re not staying.”
Jason and I watched as blue eyes stared into hazel ones. Grant was the first to look at the ground.
“I can’t leave him here,” he mumbled. “If I hadn’t fucked up, he’d still be here.”
Lane closed his bloodshot eyes and inhaled sharply. “They’d have found a way in if they really wanted to, Grant. This isn’t on you. I was standing right there when it happened. I froze.” He swallowed hard. “Christ, I am so sorry, Grant…”
“I was there, too, Lane. There was nothing you could do.” Grant took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’ve made my decision. I’m staying.”
Lane frowned. “Grant, if you don’t come willingly, I will knock you out.”
I raised an eyebrow at Lane and Jason’s eyes bugged out of his face.
“You wouldn’t hit me.” Grant looked fairly sure of his statement. “You hit one of us, they’ll shut down your program.”
Lane’s face hardened and Grant had the smarts to stand warily.
“Do you remember what’s happening out there? Do you actually think that if any of us makes it through this that anyone will give a flying fuck about the program? I get that you’re upset about your brother. We all loved him and we’re all hurting.” He took a step toward Grant. “But it is my job to keep you guys safe. Now, I get that I have done a real fucking shitty job of it, but I’ll be damned if I’m just going to just leave you here to die by yourself!”
Any noise that happened to be sounding through the shop ceased as Lane’s voice boomed through the building. Grant blanched and backed away from Lane as he started toward him.
“I’m not telling you again, kid. Get your ass into one of those trucks.”
Grant glanced at me and I shrugged.
“Don’t look at me. I think he means it.” Actually, I didn’t think, I knew. I’d seen this look on Lane’s face enough times when he was protecting something he loved. Whether it be me, his mom, or one of these kids, he’d do whatever was necessary to do the best he could to keep that person out of harm’s way. I knew that he thought he was doing the right thing by forcefully hauling Grant out of the building.
“You can’t just punch me!”
“I don’t want to, but I will.” Lane’s anger ebbed. “Grant. Please. I can’t lose another one of you guys.” He swallowed hard.
Grant bit his lip and looked from me to Lane to Jason.
Jason gestured toward the trucks with his head. “Come on, man. We gotta go.” He turned to Lane. “Give a holler if you need help carrying him to the truck.” He walked back to the others.
Grant’s eyes bugged out of his head. “You guys are just going to watch him do this?”
I shook my head. “No. I can’t watch him hit you.” I gave Lane’s arm a squeeze as I walked past him and followed Jason into the other room.
We all looked at one another, wondering if Lane would have to go through with his threat.
“Guys? Brat says we’ve got about five minutes.”
“How does he know?” Jenny scratched behind the dog’s ear.
“He says they’ve got dogs stationed all over the place to keep an eye on the Yellow Eyes’ movements.”
“So, they send each other signals?” John looked amazed until Max shook his head.
“They bark. You know, cause they’re dogs?”
We all relaxed as Lane appeared, his arm around a very conscious Grant.
“Where are we going?” Robby got into his truck and started it.
“Just follow me. I have an idea.” Lane started to one ton and put a hand on my leg before pulling out of the shop.
“So, were you really going to knock me out?” inquired Grant from the back seat.
Lane’s eyes met his in the rearview mirror. “Yeah. Yeah, I was.”
I smiled and turned my attention to the shop as it slowly disappeared in my side view mirror.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“What do you think?” Lane glanced my way as we pulled into the farmyard.
I nodded. “It’s beautiful. I mean, not that that matters. But wow!”
“You guys know who lives here?” Grant hopped out of the truck and looked up at the two story white house then gazed past it to the barn and shop.
Lane shook his head. “It’s been on the market for about nine months and has been empty for about three.”
I frowned. “How do you know that?” I grabbed my rifle and a duffle bag and followed Max into the house.
“Because I came to look at it a few times.” Lane dropped two bags in the still furnished living room, refusing to look at me.
My heart dropped. “You were going to buy another house? For… for you and Michelle?” The fact that I could be jealous of a dead woman was surprising.
His head snapped up and deep blue eyes met mine. “For us.”
“Oh.”
“Hey! I call the first room on the left upstairs!” Max ran out to the truck to grab his things so he could put them in there. “Grant, you can bunk with me. Dude, there’s bunk beds!”
“Where do you want to sleep?” I grabbed my backpack and duffle bag.
“Main floor.”
I nodded and walked down the hallway until I came to two bedrooms. “Pete? You and Marie can take the master. There’ll be more room for all of Ashley’s stuff in there.”
The pair nodded their thanks and I walked into the one across the hallway. The bed was a queen with a dark green comforter and yellow pillow cases. The curtains covering the large windows were a matching green with white flowers.
Lane dropped his bags on the bed and came up behind me. I leaned back against him, hugging his arms to me as he wrapped them around me.
“I was going to bring you out here the day after your birthday to look at it.”
I smiled. “Were you going to confess your everlasting love then, too?”
He scoffed. “No way in hell.”
“I think I would have figured it out.”
“You think?”
I nodded. “I don’t care how much you love me as a friend. Having a little house in town is one thing. Buying my dream home and putting all of the planning into it before you show it to me…” I turned so I could hug him. “Then again, who knows? Turns out I was pretty dense when it came to you.”
He chuckled. “You weren’t dense. You were stubborn.” He tilted my head back and kissed me gently. “I swear, I will never get tired of doing that.”
I ran my fingers over his stubble. “Come on. Let’s go see if they had a backup generator.”
“They did and unless someone looted the shop, there’re three big fuel tanks back there.”
“Well, let’s go start that puppy up. We’ll make a good supper.”
In the living room, Shawn was busy starting a fire in the beautiful fire place.
“Good news, guys! No more boiling water. This place is on well water.” A few amused cheers echoed through the house at Robby’s announcement as he walked back into the house. The cheers turned into all out whoops and hollers as the lights turned on.
Jason walked in through the back door, grinning. “Generator works.”
I laughed and hugged Lane tightly. I got to work starting a moose stew while the others finished unpacking.
“I’m not going to complain about the shop,” stated Jenny, “but I have to admit that being in an actual house makes this whole ordeal a tiny bit less horrible.” She added a cup of sugar to her dough and placed the soon to be bannock on the cookie sheets.
“Are you guys seriously making stew and bannock for supper?”
Jenny screamed as John picked her up and swung her around. I held my wooden spoon up, ready to fend him off.
“Johnny, it’s not like we’re making steak and lobster,” I laughed.
“Fuck steak and lobster! I’ll take stew and bannock over that any day!” He turned back to Jenny. “And you! You just made bannock, just like that!”
“Um, I guess…” Her eyes bugged out of her head as he got down on one knee.
“Jenny, you have won my heart. Will you marry me?”
“Um, Gabby?”
“Yeah?” I was laughing so hard I could barely answer her.
“Can I borrow your wooden spoon?”
I tossed her the spoon and saw Maxy watching her, a soft smile on his lips. Her eyes met his and I could have sworn the room brightened with her smile.
“Alright.” I took my spoon back from Jenny and got out of the way so she could put her bannock in the oven before going to sit on the couch.
“So, bannock from scratch, eh?” Max smiled and sat beside her.
“You’re not going to drop down on one knee, too, are you?” she teased.
He shook his head. “I’m more of a homemade buns kinda man.”
She grinned. “I’ll make those tomorrow.”
“Huh. Maybe Johnny had the right idea.” His smile softened at her blush.
I noticed Shawn watching the two of them and hoped he wasn’t going to turn into the overprotective big brother.
“Where’s Grant?”
“I’ll go check upstairs.” Jason took them two at a time and returned with a smile on his face. “He’s sleeping.”
Half of the crew yawned at the mention of sleep, Lane included.
Everyone retreated to their rooms to settle in while supper cooked.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I sat on the bed, hating that I was going to have to wake him up.
“Lane…” I whispered his name and ran my fingers through his hair.
His eyes flickered open and I sat still as he tried to remember where he was. His gaze met mine and he relaxed.
Angered Seasons: Volume Three (You Mess With the Bull, You Get the Horns) Page 2