I felt like I wasn’t enough. My image was bad. She of all people would know. And I was an asshole. I was better some days than others, but a better asshole was still an asshole.
No, I wanted Lacey to have the best. And me? I wasn’t the best. Although, being a father did sound like something I could get used to. I’d always wanted to do it. Just not so soon. I’d wanted it to be when I was ready. When I was a better person.
I’d had a ten-year plan where I became so fantastic I was practically someone else. I guess meeting Lacey had just pushed me in that direction faster than I had been planning to get there.
“Are you going to be in this mood all the way home, or are you going to talk to her?” Brian asked next to me.
I glanced at him.
“Leave it alone, Brian,” I said.
He shook his head. “Look, man. You bailed me out when things were up in the air for me. I can’t exactly do that for you here, but I want to help you. And if you really want to be happy, you’ll go talk to her. At least try to work it out.”
I frowned at him. “What makes you think I want to be with her?”
Brian chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re an idiot, you know that? You’re running away from the one thing that might do you some good in that life of yours. The one you keep fucking up so much. Go talk to her. I know you’ve fallen for her.”
I wanted to protest, but Brian was right. And he knew me well enough.
“And if she doesn’t want me?” I asked.
“Then you’ll know you weren’t a pussy, and you gave it a shot.”
I swallowed. “Kind words,” I said sarcastically, getting up.
Brian clapped me on my shoulder.
“Remember, the worst you can get is a no. But imagine you get a yes. Right?”
I nodded. Right.
I walked through the curtains that blocked off the first-class section and scanned the seats, looking for Lacey. I finally spotted her, her head down like she was reading something. She had a window seat, and the kid next to her looked like he couldn’t be older than eighteen. I walked to him.
“Why don’t you go sit in my seat for a while?” I asked him.
I held out my ticket.
He frowned at the ticket. When he looked at my face, his eyes widened.
“You’re Hanson Bell.”
I nodded. “Yeah. First class is full of Sharks today. Go to Brian McMurray, and tell him I sent you. He’ll introduce you around.”
The kid got up and left. I grinned, looking at him go through the curtains.
“I think you just made his day,” Lacey said.
“Maybe even his whole year. What a story to tell his friends.”
“If they believe him,” Lacey said and smiled. She had dark circles under her eyes, like she hadn’t slept in a while. She looked worn out and tired.
“Do you mind if I sit down?”
She shook her head, and I sat down next to her. She held a book open on her lap.
“What are you reading?”
“Timeline,” she said. “But I can’t really concentrate.”
I nodded. I didn’t know where to start.
“Look, about us... I don’t want to lose you. I want to be in your life. And the baby’s life. I really do.”
Lacey shook her head.
I thought she was about to tell me not to talk about it in public, or maybe not at all. But she surprised me.
“No, I’m the one who should be saying this,” she told me, looking into my eyes. “I’m sorry I ran away. I was just scared.”
I frowned. “Why?”
She took a deep breath and let it out in a shudder.
“I don’t want kids,” she said. “I never wanted kids. I was the love child of a preacher who was too proud to admit to his mistakes. He left my mom to fend for herself and a daughter who always wondered what she did wrong. I don’t want that. I don’t want a family I can disappoint. I’m scared because I made a baby that might be disappointed.”
I blinked at her. “That was a very serious story in a very small nutshell,” I said.
She pulled up one shoulder and looked at me again. Her eyes were a brilliant blue.
“I don’t really like talking about it, but I thought you ought to know why I freaked out. And I want to apologize. I should have been stronger.”
I shook my head. “I totally get it. It’s a big deal. But life is about potential disappointment and also potential reward. You have to risk one to get the other.”
“Now you’re sounding like me,” she said.
I couldn’t help but laugh. But then I got serious again.
“Well that’s good. Because I fucking love you.”
Her mouth dropped open and I reached over and shut her jaw for her. She jolted like I’d shocked her. I realized I’d just said it on a plane full of people, many of them my teammates. I realized this meant for good, for real. But it was time I claimed what was mine, no matter how much she might protest. I knew it was best for her, for me, for our baby.”
“I love you, too,” she said. “But I have no experience at any of this. I don’t know that I could be a good mother. I don’t even know if I’d be a good girlfriend.”
“Sorry,” I said. “But I disagree. I think you’ll make a wonderful mother. And a great girlfriend. Or wife.”
She blinked at me.
“What?”
“I’ve been thinking about it. I’m not going to leave you hanging with a baby by yourself. But it’s not just because it’s the right thing to do. I want to be with you, Lacey.”
She shook her head, her face confused.
“I don’t understand,” she said.
“I’ve fallen for you,” I said, making it clearer. “And I want you to be my girlfriend. The mother of my child. My wife, eventually. I mean, maybe. As long as you lose all the baby weight.”
Her eyes widened in anger. “What the hell?”
I grinned sheepishly. “I’m kidding. Sorry, bad joke. But I was only joking about the last part. I meant the rest of it. I want to be with you.”
She shook her head but I noticed she couldn’t help but smile. Then she became sullen again.
“You don’t date. You sleep around. You’ve never been a one-woman guy.”
I nodded. “You’re right. I was all that. But then I met you. I don’t want to be all of that anymore. And yes, there’s a baby now and that egged me on. But it’s only made me realize how much I want to be with you. I want to do the whole family thing with you. Babies, toys, and diapers. Everything.”
She looked terrified when I talked about the baby. I leaned forward slowly. She held still, and I pressed my lips against hers. She trembled lightly, and she stayed frozen against my lips for a moment before she kissed me back.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said. “I don’t intend on leaving you in the lurch or abandoning our child. I’ll stick by your side. It’s you and only you, baby. And this baby, of course.”
I put my hand on her stomach.
“Can I feel it kick?” I asked her.
“It’s too early for that,” she said, and laughed.
As she laughed, her eyes started tearing up. When the tears spilled onto her cheeks, I wiped them away with my thumbs.
“We’re going to be okay, okay?”
“I don’t know how,” she said.
She leaned against me, her head beneath my chin. I put my arm around her shoulders and held her tightly against me.
I shook my head. I didn’t know either, but I knew that if we were together, we could make it happen.
“Do you trust me?” I asked.
Lacey moved so she could look at me.
“Yes.”
It was a serious answer, one she had thought about.
“And just for the record,” she said. “I’ve fallen for you, too. I’ll give being a girlfriend my best shot.”
“That’s all a guy could ask for,” I told her, happy at last.
Epilogue
A year later
Anyone who’s been pregnant would know that it’s not a walk in the park. Your body swells up, there’s no space for your organs, you can’t reach your toes anymore, and you crave things that no one in their right mind would eat otherwise.
That wasn’t the hardest part for me, though. The hardest part for me had been the fear. I had been terrified of what it would mean to have a baby. I had gone from single, independent, and only out to have sex, to a girlfriend and a mother in less than a year. It was a big change, especially for someone who had had the worst views of family, growing up.
Hanson had made every effort to ease my fears. He had been supportive and strong, caring and there for me whenever I needed it. When I’d craved something in the middle of the night, he’d made sure I got it. When I’d sat crying on the floor because I’d dropped something and hormones had taken over, he’d picked it up for me and consoled me like I had every right to sob like a child.
And when our baby boy was finally born, I had never seen love like that. Hanson had looked at Liam Bell like he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. I had known right then, at that very second, more than I ever had, that everything would be okay.
When I held the blue little bundle in my arms, I felt a tug deep inside me.
His life would never be like mine. He would grow up in a balanced household where love and loyalty prevailed, and he would be beautiful, inside and out.
Hanson had done everything he’d promised to do as a father. He’d cleaned up his act completely. Of course, the women were a thing of the past, now that I was in the picture, but staying out at clubs, drinking, and living the single life had become something of the past.
He was home for us when he could be, only leaving to train or spend time with his friends now and then. If he drank, he would never have more than two. And now that I knew why Brian never drank much, I didn’t worry about Hanson spending time with his best friend. I also finally found out why Brian doesn’t even sleep with women, but that’s a story for another day.
As a PR Manager, I would never have thought the best way to clean up a man’s act was to give him a family. But it turned out that life had lessons to teach me that my job could not.
Of course, I still worked for Chuck. I was on maternity leave now, but as soon as it was time to go back, Liam would go to the best daycare in town. I wanted to keep my career going for now, and Hanson needed to be able to focus on his football, too.
When I met Hanson, I had seen a problem to which I was the solution. He had been the challenge, the player I would be forced to tame. I had never thought that he would be the one to reel me in and tame me, instead.
I would never have guessed that a year down the line, I would have a family of my own. You never knew what life would throw at you.
You would also never guess that as soon as Liam was born, Hanson got down on one knee and proposed to me.
“Marry me,” he’d said. “Please say yes. I want our family to be official.”
He had held up a large sparkling ring he had purchased some time ago but was waiting for the right, spontaneous moment to do it. And the first time we held our son was exactly that right moment.
We are getting married in six months, and Liam will be our ring bearer, in a tiny red wagon I’ll pull down the aisle behind me. I’ve been talking to my dad more since all of this happened, and he’ll be able to make the wedding.
Now, I quietly closed the door to the nursery and stood at the door for a moment to be sure he was sleeping. Hanson put his arms around me from behind and kissed my shoulder.
“Is he asleep?” he whispered.
I nodded. “Finally.”
Hanson spun me around and kissed me.
“Come to bed with me,” he said.
He took my hand and led me to our bedroom. I switched on the baby monitor. It had a camera that allowed me to check on him.
Hanson climbed into bed and opened the covers for me to get into bed, too. He put his arm around me and pulled me closer, kissing me again.
“How are you doing?” he asked.
I nodded. “I’m good. Better.”
He smiled. “That’s good to hear. You’re a happy mom?”
I nodded. I’d never thought I would say it, but I was a happy mom.
Hanson kissed me again. He lingered on my lips, and I opened my mouth, letting him in. He penetrated me with his tongue, tasting me slowly and swirling his tongue around. His hand slid down my ribs, lower and lower. Before he slid his hands between my legs, he stopped.
“Are you okay with this?” he asked.
We hadn’t slept together since Liam had been born. I’d needed to recover. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally, too.
“I am,” I said. “In fact, I’ll be right back.”
I slipped out of bed and walked to the closet where I retrieved a box I’d hidden in there a week before. I smiled at Hanson before I walked into the bathroom and closed the door.
I opened the box and retrieved a red G-string and a red teddy to match. I put them on and looked in the mirror. I hadn’t picked up a lot of weight during my pregnancy, but I wasn’t back where I wanted to be. Still, the lingerie looked good, and Hanson didn’t mind my body at all. I would start jogging again, soon, though.
When I opened the door, Hanson looked at me. His eyes slid down my body and back up again.
“God, you’re sexy,” he said.
I blushed and walked toward him, displaying my body for him. He got up and moved across the bed, kneeling on the mattress. He put his arms around me and pulled me against him. His erection strained against his boxers and pressed against my lower abdomen.
I shuddered in anticipation.
Hanson kissed me on the mouth before kissing a trail of fire down my neck. He thumbed my collarbone, kissing the skin he’d touched before he slid his hand to my breast. I gasped. I hadn’t been touched in so long. I was extra sensitive.
As if Hanson understood, he was gentle with me. He tweaked my nipple between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it beneath the material. His other hand was on my lower back, holding me against him as he gyrated his hips against mine.
I gasped. Heat flooded my body and pooled between my legs. My core tightened, and I wanted him. Hanson pulled me onto the bed and laid me on my back.
“You look fantastic in this, my fiancée,” he said, tugging at the elastic of my G-string. “But I’m afraid it will have to come off.”
I smiled. He curled his fingers around it on both sides and pulled it slowly down my legs. He dropped it on the floor. He slid his hands up my legs, moving until he was at the apex of my thighs. He massaged my inner thighs before he moved one hand higher and found my clitoris.
He rubbed it in small circles, and I gasped as he worked me up, pushing me closer and closer to the edge. With his other hand, he inserted two fingers, and I writhed against him. It was pure ecstasy. Balanced between his hands, he brought me to orgasm. I cried out, bucking against his hands.
When I looked at him, he smiled.
He pushed himself up, leaving me to recover, and pulled down his boxers. His cock sprung free, hard and eager. The tip glistened with anticipation, and I could almost feel him inside me already. He took off his shirt as well, and he was naked in front of me.
His muscles bulged everywhere, rippling under his skin as he moved. He crawled over me and positioned himself at my entrance. He kissed me again, pressing only the tip into me.
I squirmed beneath him, wanting more.
He smiled against my lips. He enjoyed teasing me. I put my legs around his hips and pulled him closer to me, into me. He chuckled and gave me what I wanted, sliding into me.
I moaned as he did. I had forgotten how big he was, how great he felt when he was inside me.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I nodded. “More than okay.”
I loved that we no longer had to use condoms. There was nothing
in between us; just our bare bodies meeting and being completely together.
He smiled and moved inside me, pulling out and pushing back in, creating friction, a rhythm. His sex forced my breath out of my body. His hips bucked against mine as he pushed harder and faster.
My second orgasm wasn’t far away, and with his pounding, it came closer quickly. My legs went numb at the knees, and he coaxed a fire into being at my core. When I couldn’t hold it anymore, I toppled into the abyss of a second orgasm. My body curled around Hanson’s, my nails biting into his chest, and for a moment, I stopped breathing as pure pleasure racked my body.
When it finally passed, I gasped, breathing hard. Hanson grinned at me. I smiled at him.
“Turn around,” I said.
Hanson blinked.
“Come on,” I said. “On your back.”
Hanson nodded and slid out of me. He moved to lay down next to me. I pulled off the teddy and straddled his hips. I leaned over his chest and kissed him, before I balanced myself over his cock and guided it to my entrance with one hand. I lowered myself onto it. Hanson and I sighed at the same time as he slid into me. From this angle, he went in deeper.
I moved a bit, getting comfortable on top of him before I moved my hips back and forth. Hanson’s face went slack, and his eyes were hooded as he alternated looking at my eyes and my breasts. I rocked harder and harder, feeling him slide in and out of me. He groaned.
My breasts jiggled, swinging back and forth. I put my hands on his chest and picked up my pace, riding him harder and harder. My knees rubbed against the sheets on either side of his body, and I felt the muscles in my hips strain. I was going to feel them in the morning. But I kept up my rhythm.
I felt him harden inside me, growing bigger still, and I knew he was close. I was getting tired, but I knew we needed just a little more.
Hanson released inside of me, his face riddled with concentration, his body taut and his cock jerking inside me. I loved that ever since I got pregnant and now that we’re engaged, he could come in me. It felt good to feel his raw cock, his seed spilling into me. His orgasm triggered echoes of my own, and I collapsed on his chest as we rode out the waves of pleasure together.
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