The Days of In Between

by Peter Valentine Fenton

  ‘I know your boy is very worried about his friend,’ Boo replied, ‘Being there for him is a good start.’

  ‘Yes, yes, of course.’

  Toby looked out the window to the blossoming twilight, a cloud shifting across his happiness at the thought of Tara spending yet another night lost and alone. Suddenly his father was by his bedside.

  ‘It go alright with your mum, then?’

  Toby nodded, and his dad’s eyes twinkled back at him. ‘Good. That’s good news, son. Well, that’s one problem solved today, then. But Toby, what do you know about this girl that’s disappeared? The nurse has told me you thought she might be on the mountain? Are you still thinking that?’

  ‘Yes, I think so. We did try to find her ...’ he shrugged, sadly. ‘But I feel so sure she’s up there. I don’t know why, it’s just a feeling I have.’

  ‘It’s funny, you know, Tobes – that mountain is the reason why we got the van down here. Your mother and I came down here for our honeymoon and climbed that mountain. Gee, that must be thirteen or so years ago ... I think we bought the caravan soon after that.’

  ‘Oh, I didn’t know that, wow.’

  ‘I don’t think I’ve been up there since. Gosh, we loved that view.’ His dad looked out in the distance and laughed to himself.

  ‘Your mum was such a joker then. No wonder where Danny gets it from! Ha, she really scared me that day. She hid from me ...’ His dad grinned as he recalled the memory. ‘She’d found a hidden cave and then crept out behind me. Oh, that was great!’

  Toby sat bolt upright. ‘DAD! What? A cave? Where is it?’

  His dad looked puzzled. ‘The cave?’

  ‘Yes, Dad! That’s where Tara is, in the cave, I’m positive! She told me about it but we don’t know how to find it. Where is it?’

  He could see his dad searching his mind, shaking his head ever so slightly. ‘It’s right at the top. You sort of go around the back of the rock somehow, I can’t quite remember.’

  ‘Dad! Quick, get Boo. Tell her I know where Tara is and to call the sergeant and tell him.’

  His dad rose from the chair, returning within a minute with Boo.

  ‘Toby, are you sure?’ she asked directly, her head shifting to an enquiring tilt.

  ‘A hundred per cent, Boo, I am so sure!’

  ‘Okay, if you’re sure Toby, I’ll call him now from the phone in here.’

  Toby’s dad stepped forward. ‘We are both sure and I would like to speak to the officer, if I may?’

  Boo nodded and the smallest of smiles showed she knew the rift between the man and the boy had been healed.

  She lifted the receiver and finding the number for the police station, dialled it. ‘Bill, it’s Boo. I’ll be quick. I’m at the hospital with Toby and his father. Regarding Tara, Mr Rhone would like a word. Right, hang on.’

  She passed the handpiece, deftly snaking the curly phone cable around the monitoring devices.

  ‘Good evening, sir, yes, Brian Rhone speaking. I’d like to confirm in the strongest terms that the cave is at the very top of the mountain. It’s difficult to find if you don’t know it. ... Oh, really? ... Well, that is heartening to hear ... Very well, at first light then? Meet at the van park at 0600 hours? Okay, goodbye.’

  He handed the receiver back to Boo.

  ‘Well, that was a coincidence. He said he had just received similar information from Uncle Jacky, and we will head up there at dawn tomorrow morning.’

  ‘Okay, great,’ Boo responded, nodding knowingly at Toby. ‘I’ll stay here tonight as well and we can leave from here in my car.’

  ‘Right, yes, that sounds good.’ He turned to Toby. ‘Good on you for trusting your instincts on this, Toby. I am immensely proud of you.’ He rubbed his son’s hair with much affection, bringing the biggest smiles to the faces of both Toby and Boo.

  The next morning Toby woke before the alarm clock. He dressed quickly and made his way to the Nurses’ Station.

  His father and Boo arrived soon after.

  Boo had a quick look at his leg. ‘How is it? Do you need anything for the pain?’

  ‘It’s actually feeling okay, thanks.’

  They headed out to the car park just as the first splays of daylight lifted from the horizon, slowly filling the still dark trees.

  At the caravan park they found the police wagon parked near the small path that led up the mountain. Word of Tara’s disappearance had made the local news the previous night and curious fisherman and surfers gathered in small groups nearby, distracted from their normal routines.

  Sergeant Ayres stood in white overalls, the words ‘Police Rescue’ emblazoned across his back. Uncle Jacky stood next to him, looking up towards the summit. ‘The cave is at the top,’ Uncle Jacky was saying to the sergeant. ‘It’s hard one to find that buran ... if you don’t know the mountain.’

  Nearby, Mrs Thompson sat with Tara’s brother on the log fence, with Tara’s dad sitting a short distance apart from them, his hands cradling his head.

  Toby’s dad strode towards the policeman and introduced himself with a friendly authority that Toby hadn’t seen his dad display in a long time.

  ‘Good morning, Sergeant, I’m Brian Rhone, we spoke last night.’ He did the same with Uncle Jacky and then went over to Tara’s dad.

  ‘Tim, good to meet you. I wish it was under better circumstances,’ he said. ‘My boy Toby has told me what a great kid your young girl is.’

  Tara’s dad took his head out of his hands and looked up at Brian. ‘Did he?’ he said, blearily. ‘She is a good kid. Always has been. I’d never forgive myself if we don’t find her.’

  ‘I’m sure we will,’ Brian said reassuringly. ‘And sooner than you think, I reckon too.’

  ‘It’s my fault. I ...’ Tara’s dad stared at the ground, lost for words. He looked up and reached out for his son’s shoulder. Josh shifted sideways, away from him, casting a sideways glance at his father, his expression unreadable.

  Sergeant Ayres spoke up. ‘Right, good morning. This should be a quick search to locate the cave, the whereabouts of which has been confirmed by Mr Rhone and Uncle Jacky. The approach should take around sixty minutes. I appreciate that there have been some previous objections raised by Mr Jones and I apologise for the additional distress this has caused. We were able to have a somewhat frank discussion about these events last night and I am grateful to Mr Jones for that. But we’ve had further information, suggesting that Tara has been seen in this area. We do have, if required, the added resources of the SES, who have searchers on standby. So, let’s make our way directly to the top. Once again we are lucky to have the assistance of Mrs Thompson from the Red Cross, who will look after the police radio down here.’

  And with that he checked his portable two-way radio, clicked it into place on his belt and clipped the small mouthpiece near his chest.

  The search party set off, and Toby was surprised to find that he and Boo were joined by Tara’s brother Josh who, although he remained silent, was without the surliness and aggression of their previous encounters.

  Toby’s dad stayed with Tara’s as together they climbed, with occasional calls of Tara’s name. Uncle Jacky set the pace, one hand gripping his walking stick, the other brushing back the low-hanging branches as if he were opening a door for the person behind, who in turn held the branch for the person following them. Toby watched as eventually everyone’s hands touched the same branch, connecting them all in their resolve to find Tara.

  As they climbed higher, the sun grew in intensity, leaving their skins gleaming and eager for the slightest of breezes. Birds chortled and chimed. A kookaburra’s laugh of many ack-ack-acks swirled around the treetops, and tiny insects swarmed and swooped.

  Up ahead Uncle Jacky stopped by a fallen branch where a large black crow stood, a twig grasped firmly in its beak. It poked the stick inside a small hollow under the bark, deftly levering out a small morsel.

  ‘Clever fella, that waaguri,’ Uncle Jacky said, approvi
ngly. He then lifted his own stick, pointing at what looked like the faintest of footprints and then traced his hand up a nettle bush to pull down a strand of hair caught on it.

  Tara’s dad pushed forward. ‘That’s her hair,’ he said, incredulously.

  Uncle Jacky nodded. ‘She’s up here, up on the bangguri. I know.’

  Toby felt his skin awash with goosebumps, the hair on the back of his neck prickled with incredible excitement.

  ‘Taraaaaaa!’ her dad yelled as the party started off again, their pace picking up. It wasn’t long before they’d reached the point where they’d stopped searching previously.

  ‘Wait!’ Uncle Jacky called out, his voice piercing their surroundings.

  Toby watched as Uncle Jacky and the sergeant huddled together, discussing the best way forward.

  The policeman then addressed the waiting searchers.

  ‘Be mindful that the track going forward is deceptively slippery and unstable. Uncle Jacky is advising us to walk on the edge of the track, where the undergrowth will offer more traction. But please, everyone, take extra special care from here on in.’ Sergeant Ayres looked at Toby. ‘You especially, Toby. One trip to hospital is more than enough,’ he said.

  The path grew narrow and steep, a dangerous combination of shallow gullies and loose stones. Toby couldn’t help but admire the way his dad took on the mountain track with confidence; for the first time in a long time he saw the soldier he used to know.

  The group snaked around the mountain’s bends, their eyes on the track, their minds on the task, and after ten minutes the rocky outcrop at the top of the mountain came into view. Tara’s dad now took the lead, determined, bringing his hands up to cup his mouth, calling, ‘Taaaaaraaaa!’

  There was no reply beyond the echo bouncing around the valley below them.

  Again Tara’s father called her name, less sure and more pained this time.

  Nothing.

  The silence buzzed in their ears.

  Everyone was exhausted, but no one was ready to entertain the slowly growing sense that she wasn’t here. As Toby’s dad and Uncle Jacky quickly conferred on the location of the cave, Sergeant Ayres beckoned Boo to join him, wiping the sweat from his brow and swigging from his canvas flask.

  ‘Between you and me, Boo, I have a strong urge to direct the SES to begin searching the river. I doubt very much that she would have made it up here ... and if she did, and we do find her, we should prepare for the worst.’

  Boo remained calm and strong. ‘I’m prepared for any situation, Sergeant. I’ll take care of the medical side of things, but you might need to have a plan for how the others might cope.’

  They looked at each other closely, both acknowledging the grisly situations their jobs took them too.

  ‘Yep. That’s very much at the forefront of my mind.’

  The sergeant walked back to the rest of the search party, who were putting the lids back on their drink bottles and catching their breath, ready to continue their journey.

  ‘Okay,’ he said with a strong exhalation. ‘I think it’s best if we ...’

  He stopped, interrupted by the sound of a sudden rustling noise, and the snap of a branch. Everyone turned at once to see Tara, appearing before them like an apparition.

  Her strawberry hair was tangled, messily framing her pale face, and she looked both concerned and confused, trying to work out what was happening. She was dressed head to foot in an old wetsuit that was far too big for her, and she looked like she had just woken up.

  Her eyes passed over the people in the search party, one by one.

  ‘Dad?’ she said quietly.

  Her father was quickly upon her, his face twisted in a confusion of the highest joy and the deepest relief.

  Tara’s dad wrapped his arms around her, saying things in her ear that Toby couldn’t quite make out, something like ‘Thank God! Thank God!’ and ‘Are you alright?’

  Tara was nodding her head, her lips closed tight, her eyes darting small looks at the policeman, then at Boo and then to Toby, looking somewhat embarrassed by the gathering.

  Sergeant Ayres stepped forward and asked Tara how she was.

  ‘I’m good ... I’m sorry ... I just needed to get away,’ she replied softly, not meeting his gaze.

  He stepped closer and put his hand over her shoulder and said in a quieter voice, ‘That’s okay. We’re grateful to see you safe. A lot of people have been very concerned about you. I know your dad, brother and these other people have been a bit worried.’

  Tara started to cry then and her dad held her tight, his voice wavering. ‘It’s alright, Tara. We’re just so happy to have found you.’

  At that, Tara looked up at her father’s face. The two held onto each other, and the moment. ‘I’m so sorry. The last couple of days ...’ His voice faltered. ‘I thought I’d lost you.’

  ‘Dad,’ Tara said softly, ‘why didn’t you tell me the truth?’

  Tara watched her dad’s face fall and he looked at the ground, his face contorting.

  ‘I wanted to but ...’ His eyes welled with tears. ‘As time went on it became more difficult ... I couldn’t find the words ... couldn’t find the right time.’

  He lifted his hands and placed them on his daughter’s cheeks. ‘I’ve been a complete idiot. I’ve just never faced up to the loss of your mum. It was too hard. But that’s meant that you lost me too.’ He looked meaningfully at Josh. ‘I realise that now.’

  Tara glanced towards her brother. Their eyes locked knowingly as Tara unlocked her arm from around her dad to wave him over.

  Sergeant Ayres shifted back a little to make way for Josh. Josh stood uncomfortably in front of Tara, who wrapped her arms around him. ‘Sorry,’ she muttered into his sleeve.

  Josh returned her hug awkwardly, patting her on the back. ‘It’s alright, Tara. We’re all here now,’ he said. ‘Aren’t we, Dad?’

  ‘Ahh,’ Tara’s dad replied, clearing his throat, ‘so we are. But it’s been a tough old climb, don’t you reckon? A bit rocky,’ he added, managing a wink at Josh.

  Josh returned the wink, with a wry grin.

  ‘But we’ll get there, won’t we, Dad?’ Tara asked. ‘Don’t you think?’

  ‘Yes, Tara. I reckon we will,’ he said with a teary smile. ‘It’s just getting there, isn’t it, love?’

  Tara leaned forward again and wrapped her arms around her father’s shoulders, her face next to his, their eyes focused on something out in the unseeable distance.

  The whole scene was, to Toby, better than any movie he had ever seen. Without thinking, his hand found the inside of his father’s and he held it like he did when he was younger.

  A twitch that seemed designed to hold back a tear gripped the sergeant’s weathered face for a moment. He signalled to Toby to come closer. ‘There’s also a young lad here who was instrumental in helping us find you. I’m sure he would like to say hello too.’

  Tara looked over to Toby and surprised him by grinning widely, and then she burst out laughing.

  Like a spell had been broken, everyone joined in.

  Nearby, a family of magpies warbled together as one.

  Boo set down her medical kit and knelt next to Tara. ‘How are you, pet?’ she asked gently.

  ‘I’m okay, thanks. I feel awful that I’ve caused all this trouble.’

  Boo gently placed her hands on Tara’s arms. ‘Look, Tara,’ she said, her voice discreet, ‘maybe running away wasn’t the best decision you’ve made and it could have got you hurt, or worse. But I think this adventure has shown you how many people care about you, and just how much.’

  Tara nodded, agreeing silently.

  Boo gave her a hug. ‘It’s going to be alright. Now let’s get you out of your, ahem, pyjamas!’

  ‘I must look pretty silly, eh?’ Tara smiled, wiping her nose.

  Boo smiled back, handing her a tissue. ‘You look like you survived two nights in the bush pretty well, and I’ll leave it at that. Survival isn’t a fashio
n statement, my dear.’

  Her dad joined them, looking concerned. ‘How’s my little girl doing?’

  ‘Oh, she’s doing fine, aren’t you, Tara?’ answered Boo. ‘But maybe you might want to show your dad this cave of yours.’

  ‘Would you like to see it, Dad?’

  She led her father around the flat rock that was the top of the mountain. Stooping down, her father shuffled into the tiny hidden cave and looked about him, seeing the markings on the ground where the wetsuit had rubbed on the small twigs that had become one with the soft sandy ground.

  It was then that he saw Tara’s little memorial, and he winced visibly with understanding.

  Boo appeared at the entrance to the cave, carrying a small bag. She looked briefly at Tara’s dad, following his gaze towards the collection of mementos on the ground. She touched Tim’s arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. ‘Oh, yes, Tara,’ she whispered, ‘I can see this is a very special place.’

  ‘The most special-est,’ Tara smiled.

  ‘So, lovely young lady, let’s get you into some fresh clothes. There are plenty here to choose from,’ she said, offering the bag.

  ‘I’ll leave you to change,’ her dad said.

  ‘See you in a minute, Dad.’

  Boo paused a moment as Tim left, and then leant forward, wrapping Tara’s small hands in her own strong ones. ‘Tara, I want you to know I understand.’

  Tara didn’t respond, but her eyes didn’t leave Boo’s.

  Boo’s voice was barely above a whisper. ‘Love has a price, and sometimes missing people, grieving for them, can feel like it’s too much. But grief is just our way of sending love, don’t you think? It’s like the ocean or the sky or the seasons themselves; love is always there, and like the tide, our own grief ebbs and flows, and sometimes, watch out, because it will leap out of nowhere. Some days are hard, little one, I know, but some days are easier and some days are in between.’

  Tara’s eyes filled with tears, and understanding.

  Boo squeezed Tara’s curled fingers comfortingly. ‘And if you ever need a friend, someone to talk to, I can be that for you. In fact, I’d really like that.’