My Bully’s Daddy

by Callahan, Kelli

  She can hate me all she wants. She turns eighteen in two months—if she really wants to rebel, then I can’t stop her from dropping out, but I doubt she’ll give up the good life she has, even if she wishes I was dead.

  I finally got the energy to get out of bed and headed downstairs to make a pot of coffee. I desperately needed the caffeine to help with the hangover left from the night before. I didn’t have much going for me except the buzz coffee would give in the morning and the blur that alcohol would bring when the sun went down. Everything in the middle of that was miserable. I missed Hannah—despite what I knew. There was an ache in my chest and a twisted knot in my stomach every time I thought about her.

  The cops hadn’t shown up yet, which meant she was either eighteen, or she hadn’t told anyone. Neither of those made me feel any better. I had replayed the entirety of our relationship in my head so many times, and hindsight was a mother fucker that had twenty-twenty vision. There were so many obvious signs that I ignored from the beginning, but she lied her way past them, and I just accepted the lies as fact. I should have asked more questions, but I was a fucking idiot that got blindsided by lust when I had what I thought was a beautiful sorority girl showing me more interest than any woman had in years.

  I guess I’ll call this my midlife crisis. I’m sure the stress from all of this took enough years off my life for the math to add up.

  I sat in the living room for a while and eventually turned on the television. There was nothing I wanted to watch—it was just noise and moving images on a screen to provide a partial distraction. I needed to find something to do with my life. I just let myself fall into a hole after the divorce. There was no way that I would ever hurt for money, but not having the responsibility of getting up in the morning for my job wasn’t helping. Parenting Bianca was mostly up to my ex-wife during the week. I planned to stop by every weekend, but I doubted I would get anything from Bianca except an angry stare or more hurtful words. I couldn’t make her talk to me, and everything that she cared about was gone except for the roof over her head.

  I can’t take that away from her just because she’s pissed off…

  I reached over and picked up my laptop. I didn’t even know how to look for a job anymore. I knew most people searched for them online—that’s where all the listings for my real estate company went when we needed to hire people. There were a few companies that might welcome me as a real estate agent, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to go back to selling houses. I went as far as I could go with that career outside of owning my own company. I needed a distraction, but I didn’t need that much responsibility. I put in enough hours managing one that I let my life slip away, along with my marriage and my duties as Bianca’s father.

  Hmm. What’s this?

  I saw something load when I clicked on my web browser. It was—a Facebook page. I stared at it for a couple of seconds before I realized that it was Hannah’s page. She had used my laptop to sign in when she was here, and apparently, never signed out. It didn’t look like she used her page much. There were a few pictures, some comments from friends, and a lot of posts wishing her a Happy Birthday that were several months old—one of them caught my interest—one that wished her a happy eighteenth birthday.

  Well… at least I’m not a criminal.

  I pulled my finger across the mouse pad and prepared to hit the logout button; when a message flashed on the bottom of the screen. It was from a girl named Candice. I didn’t want to spy on Hannah, but when the message came through, it popped up a window that showed a conversation they had—a conversation that I quickly realized was about me. I was an asshole for reading it, but I wanted to know where her head was at—even if she hated me. The message wasn’t full of hate like I expected. It actually sounded quite sad. She didn’t tell her friend who I was, but it was very clear from the tone that finding out I was Bianca’s father broke her heart.

  I can’t keep reading this. It’s hard enough already…

  I logged out of her account and slammed my laptop shut. Reading the messages just made it worse. I would have felt a lot better if Hannah just wanted me to die like Bianca had so eloquently put it. Instead, she was hurting—and I couldn’t do a damn thing to take that hurt away when it was the only thing I wanted to do. The seconds and minutes ticked away like molasses, an hour felt like an eternity, and I started drinking way earlier than I should have. I had whiskey instead of beer, so I knew I would be able to pass out once I had enough of it in my system—but that would just usher in another day. Another miserable fucking day.

  “Okay, fuck it.” I was speaking to the air, but I said the words out loud anyway.

  I grabbed my laptop, opened it up, and went to my web browser. I loaded up Facebook and hit the button to create a new account. It wasn’t fair for me to contact Hannah but knowing that she was hurting was more painful than the shredded heart in my chest. I didn’t think there was any chance of getting back together again, but if she needed an outlet for that hurt, then I was the one that deserved to be sliced to pieces by it. She couldn’t talk to anyone else about it and neither could I, but I couldn’t just leave it hanging in the air like a sickness that plagued both of our lives. I created my profile, took the ugliest picture ever with my laptop camera, and then sent Hannah a friend request. She could reject it if she wanted—that would tell me that she didn’t want to talk to me, but my offer was on the table. Less than a minute after I sent the request, I saw a pop up that she had accepted it and a window opened so that I could message her.

  I’ve come this far.

  Justin: Hey…

  Hannah: Hey.

  Justin: I’m so sorry for what my daughter put you through.

  Hannah: You must have seen the video.

  Justin: I deleted it. It’s gone.

  Hannah: Thank you… I’m sorry that I lied to you when you offered me a ride. I just didn’t want to have to tell anyone what really happened.

  Justin: I can understand that. I wish you would have told me the truth at some point thought—before I saw you standing outside of Bradford Academy.

  Hannah: I tried so many times, but I was scared…

  Justin: You never had any idea that my daughter went to your school?

  Hannah: No! Trust me; I would have run away immediately…

  Justin: I would have done the same…

  It was the truth, and that’s all we had. The air wasn’t clear—it was still a murky fog—but a line of communication had been opened. I wasn’t angry with Hannah for lying, but the circumstances had left us with nothing but a short conversation. I felt a little better, but the wound was still bleeding. It was going to take some time for it to heal, longer for it to scar, and no amount of time would remove the affect she had on my life. Our time together was brief, but that was enough. I was her first. She helped me believe I could be a man again.

  After waiting for nearly fifteen minutes, I realized she wasn’t going to respond, so I shut down my laptop and walked upstairs so I could go to bed. I had another night, another day, and then more of the same after that—but maybe they would be a little less miserable after talking to her. I stared at the ceiling once I was in my bed. I closed my eyes and imagined that beautiful woman was by my side—that she was in my arms—and that there was some way to push through the minutia. That was just an illusion. It wasn’t reality—reality was the cold spot next to me that would never be warm again.

  She might have been too young—too wrong—but she’s the only one I want there.

  Eighteen

  Hannah

  A few days later

  Mom was gone. I was all alone in Los Angeles. I survived the rest of the school week—the weekend—and it was time to start all over again. School was definitely different without Queen Bianca ruling Bradford Academy, and things were fairly calm. Amy and Jillian added a new girl named Shelly to their coven, tried to mold her into a new heartless bitch, but they weren’t much of a force without Bianca. The teachers weren’t scared of the
new trio, their families didn’t donate enough for the principal to give them special privileges, and the other students considered them something of a joke, despite all of their attempts to make themselves relevant. They ignored me—probably because they knew I would fight back. It was easier to just pick on the ones who wouldn’t while they tried to get some semblance of superiority.

  “Hey, how are things going?” Candice walked up to me in the hallway and leaned against the lockers.

  “One day at a time.” I shrugged. “I’m doing better.”

  “I still can’t believe you won’t tell me who your mystery guy is…” She looked around the hallway.

  “It’s just too complicated.” I exhaled sharply.

  “Oh great.” Candice turned her head and pointed. “The new incarnation of the Bradford Elite has found their first victim—that new girl, Avery.”

  “I doubt they’ll get very far. People are standing up to them now.” I closed my locker and stared.

  Avery looked terrified. Amy and Jillian had her pinned against the lockers while their newest recruit, Shelly, tried to wrestle the poor girl’s phone out of her hand. I looked around the hallway to see if there were any teachers around, but there weren’t any in sight. A few students were watching—some were laughing—but none were doing anything to help Avery. Even if they weren’t they force they were with Bianca leading the coven, it was still three on one. I couldn’t watch it—if nobody else was going to do something, then I would. I handed my books to Candice, marched across the hallway, and drove my elbow into Amy’s throat with enough speed to push her away from Avery and drive her into the locker.

  “Back off!” I dug the point of my elbow into her neck.

  “Stop! Get away from me!” Amy struggled to get herself free.

  “Look who grew some balls.” Jillian laughed. “Did you forget that you are our property?”

  “Am I?” I turned my head towards Jillian. “You don’t have the fucking video anymore, do you.”

  “I mean—we might.” She blinked a couple of times, but her reaction didn’t have enough confidence to convince me.

  “You don’t.” I narrowed my eyes at her and snapped my head towards Amy, driving my elbow in a little harder as I did. “Do you?”

  “No…” Amy choked out her response and grimaced.

  Jillian let go of Avery and Shelly followed her lead. They took a couple of steps back and held up their hands. I gave Amy one more hard dig with my elbow and then pulled it away from her throat. She coughed and stumbled towards her friends. A crowd had started to gather, and I saw a couple of teachers finally walking out of their classrooms to see what the commotion was. The new Bradford Elite decided that it wasn’t a fight they wanted to continue, so they walked away. I was relieved that they did. I had the element of surprise and caught Amy off guard, but odds wouldn’t have been nearly as good if the three of them tried to take me on. Avery didn’t look like much of a fighter and Candice definitely wasn’t.

  “Thank you.” Avery looked up at me and smiled. “I just started here, and they’re already trying to make my life hell.”

  “They do that.” I sighed. “Just don’t back down—keep fighting. They’ll decide you aren’t worth their time eventually.”

  Or ruin you—but hopefully their days of doing that are over now that Bianca is gone.

  I expected that to be the end of things with the new incarnation of the Bradford Elite, but about ten minutes after my next class started, I got called to the principal’s office. I had never actually been there before, so that was a new experience. The principal had heard about the incident, and instead of ignoring it like he always did, it was actually being addressed. I told the truth. I wasn’t going to lie to protect the heartless bitches, and if that got me in trouble, so be it. I didn’t get punished. I just got sent back to class. Later that day, Candice told me that Amy, Jillian, and Shelly were all given detention for what they did to Avery. It seemed like things were actually changing—or we were headed in the right direction at least.

  * * *

  One week later

  I settled into a new routine once I was on my own. I got up, went to school, and when I got home, I worked on my assignments. Mom and I usually talked on a Skype every few days or so. I had also been talking to Justin—every single night. The day after he created a Facebook account and messaged me out of the blue, I initiated the conversation. It was brief, just like our first one over Facebook messenger, but we had a friendly discussion. The next day, our conversation was a little longer. Our relationship really hadn’t been the topic of our conversations—we just talked about all the things we should have discussed before we ever got to that point. We didn’t have the closeness I missed, but it was nice for him not to be a complete stranger.

  It’s his turn this time. I messaged him first last night.

  Justin: Hey, I finally figured out that the green light means you’re online.

  Hannah: Oh really? I guess that explains why you normally wait so long. :)

  Justin: I know you have stuff going on…

  Hannah: That doesn’t mean I’m too busy to talk—except when you wait until it’s almost my bedtime.

  Justin: I’ll figure it out eventually. How was school today?

  Hannah: It wasn’t bad. Things have gotten a lot better since—well, you know…

  Justin: Since Bianca isn’t making your life hell?

  Hannah: Yeah. How is she doing anyway? I bet public school is a culture shock for her.

  Justin: It is. She still hates me, but I guess that’s to be expected.

  Hannah: You did the right thing.

  Justin: I know, but she’s still my daughter…

  Hannah: Maybe she’ll come around one day.

  Justin: I hope so.

  I stared at the screen and felt my stomach twisting into a knot. We had danced around our relationship every single time we talked. It seemed like neither of us were brave enough to mention it—but avoiding it was starting to eat away at me. I didn’t want it to be a taboo topic that we never discussed. I didn’t want it to be something that either of us were ashamed of, and the reality was—the reasons that felt impossible didn’t seem as important as they did the day I saw him step out of the car and greet his daughter outside of Bradford Academy. I typed my next message—deleted it—retyped it—deleted it—and finally got enough courage to hit the send button.

  Hannah: I miss you.

  Justin: I miss you too…

  Justin’s green light went off after he admitted that he missed me, and that was the end of our conversation for the evening. It was a stepping stone—maybe it would open the door to further discussions—or maybe they would stay slammed shut. I still had plenty of conflict inside of me, but I wanted to see if there was a rock in front of the stepping stone—a light on the other side of the door. I wasn’t sure if we could ever reach the point we were at when carefree passion defined us. There was beauty in the unknown when the mystery of his last name and the worrying lie kept everything on edge. Things felt different with everything on the table, but what I said was true—I really did miss the man that was mine for the best days and nights of my life.

  * * *

  One month later

  “It’s official.” Candice walked up to my locker. “The Bradford Elite are disbanded.”

  “Disbanded?” I turned towards her and raised an eyebrow.

  “Yep, apparently Amy and Jillian got in a huge fight over who was going to get to go to prom with Romero—like, knock down drag out fight with hair yanked out and bloody noses for the both of them. Needless to say, they aren’t friends anymore.” Candice laughed under her breath.

  “Did anyone ask Romero’s opinion.” I laughed along with her.

  “No. Rumor is he’s still with Bianca.” She shrugged. “Oh god, do you think he’ll bring her to prom?”

  “I—don’t think so.” I shook my head back and forth.

  Justin told me she was sitting out the prom
this year—I assume that means the one at her school and the one here if Romero offers.

  It was nice to know that the Bradford Elite were no longer a thing, but their reign of terror had been over for a while. Shelly only tried to fit in with the two other heartless bitches for a few days, but after her third trip to the principal’s office, she decided it wasn’t worth it. Amy and Jillian had to dial things back considerably since the principal wasn’t having any of their shit and the teachers were standing up to them—as were the other students after I stopped them from bullying Avery. I had settled into what some would call a normal high school experience. The other students were friendly and talked to me instead of treating me like a pariah, but I didn’t have any interest in hanging out with any of them. If they weren’t brave enough to be my friend when Bianca was treating me like property, then I didn’t need cowards in my corner.

  My normal routine day ended when the last bell rang, and I walked outside to my car. It was Friday, and Candice was going to San Diego for the weekend, so I was going to spend it alone since Mom wasn’t coming for a visit. Things with Justin had been permanently stuck at the I miss you stage for a solid month. We still talked every day, but it was about random things. Some nights we watched the same movie and talked about it over Facebook messenger. Some nights it was just a brief discussion about our day. I had typed a million messages that I was too scared to send—because I didn’t want to ruin the friendship that had developed between us. As soon as I got home, I made some tea and sat down on the couch with my laptop in my hand—Justin’s light was already on.