Prairie Fever

by Tessa Layne

  Iris patted her back. “I know, honey. But you’ve never gone it alone. Until here. And you’ve always struggled with asking for help, even before you got out from under your parents’ thumbs. It’s one thing to not ask for help for yourself, but it’s not about you anymore. You can’t keep going like this. It’s not healthy for anyone.”

  Suzannah covered her face with her hands. “I– I’ll talk to Gunnar.”

  CHAPTER 19

  Something was wrong. Gunnar could see it as soon as Suzannah stepped out of the car with Lulah, girlfriends in tow. But before he could take a closer look and figure out what was going on, Lulah had launched herself into his arms with a shout. “Daddy!”

  Everything in him seized. Like he’d just swallowed a ghost pepper and had gone into cardiac arrest. Had he heard her right? A lump rose hard and fast in his throat. “Hey there, baby girl. Have you had a fun morning?”

  “Auntie Iris made booberry pancakes.”

  “Blueberry pancakes, huh? Did you save me one?”

  She gave him a saucy grin and shook her head. “Nope.” She kept her mouth closed, and looked so damn adorable, he had to laugh. A giddy lightness tickled at him.

  “Aww,” he said arching back in mock sadness. “That’s okay, because you know what we have for after lunch?”

  “Birday cake!” she shouted.

  “That’s right. With two candles.”

  “No, silly.”

  Heaven help him, she was sunshine and smiles. “No? Oh, that’s right. It’s six candles.”

  She erupted in giggles, and dang if his heart didn’t do a happy dance. That sound… was like manna from heaven. “Noooo. I’m four.”

  “You’re four? Really?”

  She nodded.

  He shook his head vigorously. “I can’t believe you’re so big. Four? Really?” He let the syllables draw out.

  “Did you give me a present?”

  His belly shook. “You’ll have to wait and see.”

  “Auntie Bailey and Iris gived me a Batman skirt.”

  “This one?” He fingered the tulle.

  Lulah nodded.

  “You look like a perfect birthday princess.” He kissed her forehead and set her on the ground. “Besta and Bumpa are waiting for you under the trees, why don’t you go say hi?”

  She bounced off, running as fast as her legs could carry her. When did kids lose their bounce? It seemed that every moment Lulah made began with a bounce. Something in his chest grabbed at the bittersweetness of it all. He wanted to bottle this moment up and keep it forever.

  Turning back to the car, he caught Suzannah staring. Her face a picture of tenderness. Her girlfriends wearing expressions of wide-eyed shock. Flashing them a shameless I caught you staring grin, he turned and followed Lulah with more than a little swagger in his step. He loved his little girl and would never be one of those stoic types when it came to expressing his feelings for his children. The thought as it entered his head, nearly stopped him in his tracks. Children? As in more than one? Yeah. Maybe. Someday, if he was so lucky. His hand drifted to his front pocket. He had a birthday present for Suzannah, too. The kind he hoped might help convince her he was serious about staying in Lulah’s life. And hers too, if she let him.

  Maddie had popped over with little Henry, who was bouncing on Eddie’s lap looking happy as a horse in clover. Hope and Ben had joined them too. His sister and cousins both showing baby bumps. Gunnar clapped Ben on the shoulders. “Appreciate you being here and preventing this from becoming a hen party.”

  Ben chuckled. “My pleasure. Figured I could use the practice.”

  Gunnar’s chest twinged. He’d missed so much. “All you need to remember is Hope’s in charge.”

  “Spoken like a true brother,” Ben answered wryly.

  When lunch was finished, Gunnar stood and passed out cardboard cone hats. “All right, everyone’s got to put one on before we sing Happy Birthday.”

  Lulah bounced in her seat, eyes shining in hopeful anticipation. He’d fly up and give her the moon if he could. Would she like her gift? More importantly, would her mother? Nervous energy zipped through him as Martha brought out the Batman cake she’d constructed.

  Thank you, Suzannah mouthed, eyes full of gratitude.

  He pointed at Martha. All mom, he mouthed back.

  Suzannah made a heart shape with her hands, then dropped them when Bailey gave her a nudge, turning her attention back to Lulah. Gunnar used the opportunity to slip away, and made a beeline for the barn. Once there, he ducked into the first stall. A gray and white Section A Welsh pony lifted her head, training her big dark eye on him. “Hey there, girl.” He reached out to give her neck a scratch. “You ready for your big reveal?” Grabbing the halter from its hook, he slipped it over her head. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a roll of wide pink satin ribbon, and proceeded to loop it around her neck, tying it in a messy bow. He’d spent all morning brushing the gentle mare until her coat shone and her mane flowed freely. He’d even polished her hooves. She was a pretty little thing, and the perfect horse for a beginning rider. Just to be certain, he’d had Hope spend the afternoon in the round pen with her yesterday. With Hope’s stamp of approval, he knew he’d chosen right. Heart galloping in his chest, he led the tiny little pony – just under twelve hands high – up the rise to the birthday table.

  Iris saw him first, mouth shaping into an ‘oh’. She elbowed Bailey, who in turn, elbowed Suzannah. His breath lodged in his lungs as he waited for her response. Surely she wouldn’t say no? She’d seen how much Lulah enjoyed riding with him. She seemed to enjoy their Sunday afternoon outings with Lulah as much as he did. What would she say when the entire surprise came together? Hope and Ben had purchased a pair of pink and red cowboy boots for Lulah, and Maddie had offered to buy a straw cowboy hat. A pair of Ariats for Suzannah sat in a discreet bag at the end of the table, compliments of his parents.

  From Maddie’s lap, Henry squealed and pointed at the horse. “Hosey,” he gurgled, waving a pudgy finger. “Hosey.”

  His antics captured Lulah’s attention who turned, then dropped her fork, eyes flying from the pony to him, once, twice, three times. Suzannah leaned down and said something he couldn’t catch. She must have encouraged her, because Lulah scrambled down and ran to the end of the table. She only stopped when Suzannah called out sharply. “What did Gunnar teach you?”

  Lulah paused, body vibrating.

  Gunnar squatted down. “Come here, baby girl. Would you like to meet your new pony?”

  Lulah slowly approached, just like he’d taught her, and held out the back of her hand. The pony’s ears pricked forward. “Is she mine?” she asked, hopefulness and doubt mixing in her tiny voice.

  “Sure thing. Would you like to name her?”

  Lulah broke into a big smile, nodding. “Batman.”

  “That’s a good name, but the pony’s a girl.”

  “Her name’s Batman,” she answered with determination.

  “Alrighty, then. Batman it is. Would you like to get on her back?”

  She nodded, and Gunnar lifted her, placing her gently on the pony’s back. “Now grab her mane with both hands and I’ll walk you in a circle.”

  “Look, mama,” she said with glee, voice rising. “I’m riding all by myself.”

  “You are. Good for you, bug.” Suzannah clapped, looking simultaneously like she was so proud, and at the same time like she’d swallowed a walnut. “You’re doing great.”

  After Gunnar led her around the yard and back down to the barn, he slowed to a stop, Batman right with him. “Okay, princess, time to get down. We’ll do some more the next time you’re here, okay?”

  Lulah leaned out and wrapped her arms around his neck. Two steps back and he planted her on solid ground. “Now we have to put her in the stall.” Gunnar led Batman into the barn, Lulah clutching his jeans. He showed Lulah how to take off Batman’s harness, where it went on the rack, and how to check her feed and water. “When you’re bigger
you can do all this by yourself. But in the meantime, you can help me. Does that sound okay?”

  “You bet.” She nodded emphatically.

  “Have you had a nice birthday, kiddo?”

  She answered with a heart-melting grin.

  Scooping her up and placing her on top of his shoulders, he left the barn. “What do you say, we make sure Mommy got enough ice-cream?”

  “Yay,” Lulah shouted, clutching his hair. He didn’t care it hurt so much his eyes watered. When they returned to the table, Iris and Bailey stood, offering to help Martha with the dishes. In short order, he and Suzannah were alone, under the trees.

  “You think they orchestrated this?’ he asked, flashing her a quick smile.

  “They’re like that.” A pause. “I love the boots, thank you.”

  “Do they fit okay?”

  “Umm-hmm, perfect. And the pony. I’d say it was too much, except it’s perfect for Lulah.”

  Warmth shot through his body. “Yeah?”

  She nodded, smiling. “Every little girl imagines having a pony.”

  “Even you?”

  “Yeah. Even me. Just please promise me, you’ll get her a helmet as soon as you stop leading her around?”

  “Of course.” Another pause. “I have something else for you.” He dropped into a lawn chair across from her.

  Her brows knit together. “Why’s that?”

  Gunnar’s chest grew tight, unease rising like a giant ball. He dug into his pocket, fishing out the check that had been burning a hole there all day. “Here.” He held out the folded paper.

  “What’s this?” She faltered, taking it only when he thrust it in her direction a second time.

  Gunnar inhaled long and slow, gathering his wits. “I went to see our family’s lawyer. Nothing to worry about,” he rushed, extending a hand to placate her when she sucked in a hard breath. Her eyes bugged out when she unfolded the check.

  “I wanted to ask him about child support. It’s maybe not exact, and I doubled it to help with the medical bills, but I felt it was only right.”

  Pink stained her cheeks. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say you’ll accept it. I know we’re in a fucked up, weird as shit situation, and I want you to know I’m all in.”

  She looked at him sharply, body suddenly tense. “Did Bailey and Iris put you up to this? Because if so, no thank you.” She held the check back out, mouth pulled tight. “Lulah and I were fine before we came to Prairie. We’ll keep on being fine.”

  “Is that what you think this is?” he asked, anger flaring like a spark from the farrier’s anvil. “That I’m trying to buy you?”

  “Are you?”

  He recognized the stubborn clench of her jaw. Lulah’s was just like it when she got angry. It nearly made him laugh out loud. “Fuck, no. What’s it going to take for you to believe that I’m in this for the long haul? How much longer are you going to judge me through a lens that’s flat out wrong? Look–” he stood, vision hazing. “Take the money. Or don’t. I’m trying to do the right thing. I want to be a part of your life. I want to be a father to Lulah, and I suppose I’m going to keep on trying. But for the love of all that is decent, stop judging me based on a false narrative.”

  With a cry of frustration, Suzannah stood, fisting the check. “You talk like you’re the only one who was affected. Like you’ve been left out of the story–”

  “I have.”

  “And I’ve been the one to endure it. To do everything I can to make sure our daughter is nurtured and provided for. I’m working just as hard as you are, and now you think a check is going to help me out when I have an emergency call on a Saturday afternoon at the clinic? You haven’t offered to take her or babysit her once. Lulah needs a father, not a grown-up playdate.”

  That stung. “You won’t let me be more than that. You’re the one setting the rules of engagement.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” He stood, too, breath coming in shallow gulps. “Fuck, Suzannah, I don’t know how to get beyond this.”

  She shut her eyes, grimacing. “I don’t either.”

  He pulled a hand through his hair. “I want to be with you and Lulah, but you have to meet me halfway.”

  She opened her eyes, wide, and blinked several times. “I’m afraid.”

  “Of what?” he asked softly.

  Her cheeks flamed. “Of having my heart stomped on again,” she whispered, looking down.

  Her words sliced him to the quick. “Oh, sweetheart.” He stepped into her space and pulled her against his chest, holding her tight. “I can’t promise I won’t be a dumbass, but I love Lulah. And I love you,” he added, throat prickly. “I swear. If you let me, I’ll be here every step of the way. We can figure out the tricky stuff.”

  Suzannah’s shoulders shook. “I love you too. Lulah wants us to live together, I was all set to bring it up today, but then Iris and Bailey dogpiled on me, and got me worried that, that… I don’t know. They were just worried, and that made me worried.”

  He placed his hands along the sides of her face and gently tilted up. “Look in my eyes.”

  She searched him, blue eyes pools of hope and fear.

  “What does your heart tell you?”

  “That you love us,” she whispered.

  “I do. With all my heart. And if you want to live together, we can figure that out too. You know I want nothing more than that.” He took a deep breath. He’d been thinking about this for weeks, and had finally approached his dad about hiring help. The conversation had been… less than pleasant, but in the end, Eddie had acquiesced. “I’d be willing to move into town.”

  She blinked.

  She blinked again.

  “I’ll miss the ranch. I’ve never lived anywhere else except the college dorms, but I figure you need to be close to the clinic.”

  She nodded.

  “So,” he prodded, hardly able to breathe. “Are we doing this?” She had no idea she held his heart in the palm of her hand. A sudden move and he was toast.

  A smile pulled her mouth wide. “Yes?”

  “You’ve gotta say it with more conviction than that.”

  She nodded. “Yes,” she said more firmly.

  Gunnar’s heart exploded from his chest, soaring on wings. A lightness came over him, ethereal, otherworldly. He dropped his head back, laughing. Then he swung her around, kissing her with all he had, not caring who saw. He had a family. And it might be complicated, it might not be perfect, but it was his and he loved his ladies with all his heart.

  CHAPTER 20

  Suzannah awoke to the soft sounds of Gunnar’s alarm. Outside, a lone cardinal began his early morning serenade, even though in Suzannah’s mind, it was still too dark to be early morning. Adjusting to Gunnar’s sleep schedule had been…a challenge. Always more of a night owl, she preferred to view four a.m. as the end of a long night, not the beginning of a new day. Gunnar slapped the alarm and rolled over, pulling her into an embrace and slipping his hand between her thighs.

  On the upside, she’d discovered four a.m. to be the perfect hour for uninterrupted trysts. Gunnar nuzzled her neck with a low growl, pressing his morning wood into her backside. “I was dreaming about you, just now.”

  “Mmm-hmm?” She rolled her hips, desire rapidly awakening all the cells in her body. “Is that why you’re already hard?”

  “Yep. You were spread out all gorgeous, and I had my face between your legs.” As he spoke, he lightly stroked her pussy lips.

  His words acted like a match to gasoline. Heat flooded her center.

  He chuckled quietly, tongue flicking at the sensitive spot by her ear. “I love how it takes no time for you to be wet for me.”

  She squeezed the tops of her legs around his hand, looking for more friction. “I love your dirty mouth,” she murmured back. They’d learned over the course of the last month that dirty talk was a sure-fire way to get them both off. There was something so illicit about whispering words like fuck,
pussy, and cock, it took them from zero to light-speed in seconds. This morning was no different. Her breasts grew heavy, aching for his touch. Wiggling into him, she adjusted her position so she was cradled against him, one hand lazily stroking her pussy. She guided the other to her nipple, already tight, needing his touch.

  Taking her cues, he gently rolled and pulled first one then the other. “Tell me how much you like that, babe.” His breath set goosebumps rising across her chest.

  “I love it. It makes my clit ache.”

  He groaned at her words, shifting to slide his cock between her folds. “You want me to touch that pretty little clit?” His fingers were everywhere, but where she wanted them.

  Rolling her hips, she chased his fingers seeking more than the grazing, teasing strokes. “Yes, more.” She pressed into him. A slightly different angle and he’d be there. Inside her, filling her, bringing sweet relief to the ache that continued to build in her core.

  “Goddamn, baby,” he rumbled, voice gravelly and thick. “I wanna fuck you bare so bad.”

  His words whipped her into a frenzy, clit pulsing, eager to be stroked until stars burst in her head. It was only with supreme effort she held back. “Can’t,” she panted. “Super sperm.”

  He nipped at her neck, voice hot in her ear. “Damn straight I have super sperm, and I wanna fill you up, baby.” He circled her clit with a finger.

  Need for him spiraled through her. Surely her IUD would be enough? Her Mirena IUD was over ninety-nine percent effective. Better than the condoms they’d used in Vegas. Could she trust it? Could she trust this next step between them? Yes, yes she could. And this time, if something happened, they’d face it together. Including the fear of another sick baby. She nodded, breathing deep. “Yes.”

  In a flash, he’d rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him. His eyes were deep pools, she could drown in them. “What’d you say, baby?”