Fictitious Love

by Charmanie Saquea

  Fictitious Love

  Charmanie Saquea

  Acknowledgements

  First I would like to thank God for blessing me with the talent of being an author. Here I am on book number 14, none of this would have been possible without him.

  To my mommy Sheree, who has been by my side since day one, you told me I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. You have always been my backbone and I would not have made it this far without you. Also my Grammy, you've been there every step of the way and I can't thank you two enough.

  S/O to my wonderful bosses Raymond and Envy for giving me a chance. Also David for putting people in a position to go after their dreams.

  Much love to the whole #TBRS family.

  I definitely can't thank all the loyal fans who have been riding with me since Official Girl. You guys have been my motivation to keep going and busting my pen. All the inboxes, comments, and wall post have never gone unnoticed and I appreciate them and you more than you will ever know.

  I definitely have to give a big shout out to my first friend I made in the writing game, Treasure. You welcomed me with open arms since the beginning and we've been tight ever since. I appreciate all the help, feedback and even the yelling because it helped me out a lot. No matter how many times I wanted to give up, you pushed me harder. I love you lots!

  I would like to give another special shout out to some of my readers:

  Anjela, Tenita, Erinn, and Julisa

  Last but never least, my Angels in heaven, Cora (Mom), Romney (Riggz) and Marisa, Uncle Tyrone (Big Shep), and Dad. I pray that you continue to watch over me. I can't forget my cousin Tyrein, keep your head up baby, 2034 will be here before you know it.

  1: Omega

  I sat in my cell thinking about what I just heard. Maybe it was some type of mistake or cruel joke being played on me. It seems as if God had been listening to a nigga’s prayers; I was going to be a free man again. Shouldn’t even be here in the first place. I heard them say that love will make you do some crazy things but they forget to inform me that it would get you into some shit you had nothing to do with.

  After seven years, a new lawyer, and two appeals, I was finally a free man again. I sat there trying to hold back the tears that were tugging at the corner of my eyes.

  Congratulations, Mr. Hooks. You’re a free man.

  I had to repeat it to myself just to make sure I didn’t hear it wrong. Those were the exact words I heard when I went to my visit a few minutes ago. It’s crazy because Jerry wasn’t even my original lawyer when I first got convicted of those bullshit ass charges.

  One day when I was working out in my cell, I was informed that I had a lawyer visit. When I got to the visitation room, gone was my public defender and there sat Jerry Ambrowitz. Jerry had told me that my previous lawyer had been fired and someone had asked him to step in and all my expenses had already been paid for. When I asked him who sent him, Jerry told me that should be the least of my worries.

  “Now that I’m a free man, can you tell me who hired you?” I asked.

  “Well played, Mr. Hooks, but I told you that was confidential and they will tell you when they are ready for you to know.” Jerry smiled.

  He still wouldn’t tell me, which was fine with me. All that matters to me is that I’m a free man and I got my justice. I lost seven years of my life that I would never get back over some bullshit. There wasn’t a reason for me to dwell on it now though; today was my last day of being locked up.

  While my paperwork was being processed, I was led back to the prison to clean out my cell. I didn’t need nor did I want any of that shit. There weren’t anything but bad memories anyways. As I was cleaning up, I ran across seven years’ worth of mail that I never opened. When I first got locked up, I was a young bitter nigga. I had cut off all communication with the outside world. I figured that it wouldn’t have been long before they forgot about me anyways.

  The majority of the mail came from Tahani, my girlfriend at the time. She was the main one that had to be cut off. Even though it’s not nor has it ever been funny, I chuckled a little at the memory of how I ended up in here in the first place.

  At the time a nigga was nineteen with only two things on my mind; getting money and fucking bitches.

  It was around four o’clock in the morning when I walked through my front door. I had just left the club from celebrating my boy’s birthday. I was high as hell and a little tipsy, but not too much as to where I couldn’t drive myself home. I thought I was going to walk in the house, take a shower, and go to sleep.

  WHAP!

  “WHAT THE FUCK!” I yelled as I grabbed my bleeding nose.

  All the lights in the house were off so I didn’t know where the fuck that punch had just come from.

  “I fucking hate you, Omega! Everybody been telling me that you ain’t shit but now my stupid ass finally can see the truth!”

  “Hani? What the fuck you putting your hands on me for?” I yelled as I went upstairs to take care of my nose.

  The question I really wanted to ask was what the hell she was doing there. I could’ve sworn she was supposed to be spending the weekend with her dad. When I reached my bathroom, I had tuned out all her yelling and examined my face. My baby may have been little but her ass packed a mean punch.

  “Which one of your hoes did you fuck tonight?” she asked as she stood in the doorway of the bathroom watching me.

  “Tahani, dead that shit! I didn’t fuck nobody tonight. I told your little ass I was going to the club with my niggas.”

  “Is this what you do when I visit my dad? Fuck other girls?” she asked calmly.

  “The fuck did I just say?” I yelled as I cleaned my face off.

  “DeJuan, don’t play with me! Check your call log, stupid. Your phone called me and I heard everything. All the noises, every moan, grunt, giggle. I heard it all!” she yelled, trying to swing on me again but this time I was ready for her.

  “Tahani, you better sit your short ass down somewhere. It’s not going to be too many more times that Imma let you swing on me,” I threatened.

  “You know what, DeJuan? I’m done. You want them other hoes, you can have them. I’m sixteen years old so I’m pretty sure I can find a nigga that’s going to treat me right. Fuck you and that bitch you fucked tonight.”

  “See!” I yelled. “That’s your problem now. Fuck around and get you and that nigga killed if you want to! Now I told you I didn’t fuck nobody. The bitch just sucked my dick since I can’t get my so called girl to do it.”

  If looks could kill, I would have dropped dead. Before Tahani could open her mouth to respond, somebody was banging on my door. Leaving her standing there, I went to see who it was and why they were knocking on my door at four thirty in the morning.

  I swung my door open and got the shock of my life.

  “Daddy?” I heard from behind me.

  “Tahani, let’s go. Now!” her dad said, never taking his eyes off me.

  Wasting no time, she grabbed her bag and hauled ass out the door. Me and her daddy stood there having an intense staring contest.

  “You got what you came here for, you can leave now,” I said.

  “Look nigga, stay the fuck away from my daughter or I’ll make you stay away from her.”

  I laughed in his face. He wanted to be hood one minute then stuck up the next. “Now you look. I’m not forcing your daughter to do anything that she doesn’t want to. She’s with me because she’s want to. I’ll leave her alone when I’m good and ready,” I said before slamming the door in his face.

  Two weeks later, I was picked up on a murder charge.

  See, Tahani’s dad was a crooked police officer. Me and my niggas got into it with some other niggas and bullets st
arted flying. The thing is, the nigga that I was accused of killing was the only survivor. Well, he was until Tahani’s bitch ass daddy got to him.

  This nigga had some of his police officer friends pick me up and knock me out. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in a warehouse with a gun in my hand and a dead body a few feet away from me. Before I could even think, I heard sirens and the door was being kicked in.

  “Hooks, are you going to stay here and daydream all day?” one of the COs asked me.

  “Nah, man. I’m ready. Been ready.”

  ___

  Since I haven’t spoken to anyone in seven years, I had my lawyer Jerry drop me off at my mom’s house. I know she still lived there because she vowed that she would never leave that house. I guess it was true because she was standing in the front yard talking to somebody.

  “What you gossiping about today?” I asked as I got out of the car.

  The look on her face was priceless. She didn’t know if she wanted to cry or what.

  “DeJuan Marcelo Hooks, if you don’t get your ass over here.”

  I smiled as I walked into her open arms after thanking Jerry for the hundredth time. She hugged and squeezed me as if she was afraid to let me go.

  “My baby! Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked before punching me in my arm.

  “Ah, ma, come on,” I laughed.

  “Seven years, Omega! I haven’t spoken to your black ass in seven damn years.”

  “I’m sorry, ma. I figured that you would eventually forget about me.”

  Next thing I knew, she had slapped me.

  “Ma, what the—”

  “Do you know how stupid you sound? Forget about you? Nigga, I birthed you. How the hell Imma forget about you? You should’ve known if anybody was going to stay by your side, it was going to be me!” she yelled.

  “Ma, I was looking at twenty years. I would never ask you or anyone else to—”

  Once again, she cut me off. “Boy, you better shut up before I punch you dead in your jaw,” she threatened, and I knew for a fact she would do just that. “Now get your butt in this house so you can eat.”

  I smiled as I followed behind her little feisty self. When we got in the house, everything was still the same except for the furniture. I shook my head at the pictures she had up of me and my two siblings.

  “Get your butt in this kitchen, boy. Ain’t nothing changed,” she yelled to me.

  “I see,” I laughed.

  “Oh, hush, but here,” she said as she handed me a plate. “I gotta run upstairs real quick.”

  I grabbed my fork and dug in. I couldn’t wait to taste my mama’s macaroni and smothered pork chops. I got up to get a cup of juice when I heard something from behind me.

  “Nanny, I’m hungry.”

  I turned around to see a little boy who looked just like me and my brother. His eyes got wide when he realized I wasn’t his nanny.

  “You’re hungry?” I asked him.

  He nodded his head yes so I fixed him a plate and sat it on the table.

  “Thank you,” he said shyly.

  “What’s your name?”

  “Juanie.”

  I smiled a little when I remembered that’s what Tahani used to call me sometimes. I heard the front door shut but didn’t think anything of it.

  “Mama!” he yelled before jumping up and running in the living room.

  I damn near choked on my food when I saw who his mother was. Ain’t this about a bitch? Shit just got mad real.

  2: Tahani

  Talk about the shock of a lifetime. You could probably imagine the look on my face as I was standing there looking at the nigga I used to love. Once upon a time. That was before he broke my heart and said to hell with me. I wrote this nigga letters for seven year straight telling him about my son, our son. The least he could’ve done was write back or call to check on him, but I got nothing.

  “Juanie, go get your stuff and let’s go. Tell your grandma you’re gone and give her a kiss,” I told my son but never took my eyes off of Omega.

  When Juanie was gone, I stood there staring at him for a few seconds. As much as I hated the sight of him, I would say that prison did his body good. Damn good. His hair had grown out and was in a ponytail and his goatee looked as if he got it lined up before he left the prison.

  Hearing steps coming, I broke the intense state down we were having.

  “Oh no, Hani. I thought he was staying the weekend with me?” Mama Nique asked.

  “Yeah, ma, but that was before—”

  “Child, hush. You know good and damn well he’s staying here. I don’t care what issues you and Omega have. Now kiss my baby and tell him you’ll see him Sunday,” she said sternly.

  I knew better than to go up against Dominique Hooks. She would chew you up and spit you out with no worries. Doing as she told me, I kissed Juanie as he sat at the table eating.

  “See you when you get home, okay?”

  “Alright. Bye, mommy.”

  I said bye to Mama Nique before heading back to the front door. Before I could even leave the kitchen completely, I was stopped.

  “Aye, Tahani!” Omega called out to me.

  I just turned around and looked at him without answering.

  “You know I want a test right?” he asked.

  “Kiss my ass and go to hell. He has a dad. He doesn’t need you,” I spat before leaving.

  It took everything in me not to slap the shit out of him. By the time I got to my car, I was pissed off. I just knew this nigga wasn’t trying to play me. The hell he mean he wants a test? He was the first and only person I had ever been with up until two years ago, so for him to act like I was hoe or something was just crazy to me.

  It’s crazy when you walk into a clinic to see what STD you have and in the midst, you find out you’re pregnant. Two weeks after Omega got locked up, I found out I had gonorrhea and was sixteen weeks pregnant. I was sixteen, lost, confused, and scared.

  I couldn’t tell my daddy because he was the president of the ‘I hate Omega’ club, I was too scared to tell my mom because I know she had hopes that I wouldn’t get pregnant young like she did. So there was only one person that I felt I could trust; Mama Nique. She had literally been my rock for the past seven years. She and my mom have been there every step of the way.

  Now here we are seven years later and this nigga got the nerve to act like he wants to deny my son. I chuckled a little even though there was really nothing funny about the situation. I’m cool on Omega, though. I have been for a while. I lost all the love I had for Omega when I realized he didn’t give a fuck about my son.

  I think I was into year number two when it hit me. I stopped trying to get in contact when him when Juanie turned two. The only reason I continued to send his black ass pictures was so he could see what he was missing out on. Like I told him, my son had a dad, he didn’t need Omega.

  ___

  I pulled up to my mom’s house anxious to tell her about the bullshit that just happened. When I walked through the door, her and my stepdad were chilling on the couch.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I whined.

  “I tried calling you after I dropped him off at his mother’s house but your phone was going to voicemail,” my stepdad told me.

  Jerry Ambrowitz is the coolest stepdad a girl like me could ever have. I loved this man as if it was his sperm that helped make me. When my mom first told me that she was dating a white man, I thought she had lost her mind. My mama was raised in the Pork n Beans Projects and was hood to her heart. The thing was, she knew when to be hood and when not to. I was a little skeptical at first, until I met Jerry.

  See, Jerry was born and raised in Memphis, Tennessee. Even though he was born to Jewish parents, they loved them some black people. They lived in black neighborhoods, learned how to cook from black people, and everything. Even Jerry’s best friend was black.

  “Tell you what?” my older sister Tahtiana asked.

  “That Omega is home. Dad didn’
t even warn me that the nigga was getting out,” I sighed.

  “Chill, Hani. If I do recall correctly, you asked me to be his lawyer but you didn’t want to know what was going on, right?”

  “You’re right, dad. I’m just so caught off guard.”

  “How do you feel?” my mom asked.

  “Honestly, I was waiting for all those old feelings I used to have for him come rushing back like I hear in the movies and read in books. It never happened. Then he had the nerve to deny Juanie,” I told her.

  “What?” my sister yelled.

  “Yes, he had the nerve to tell me that he wanted a damn DNA test. I was so hot that I had to get out of there before I disrespected Mama Nique’s house.” I shook my head.

  “I swear that must be the new thing with them Hooks men because I’m on my way to cuss Moni out now,” Tahtiana said as she rushed to the front door.

  I just shook my head. My sister and Omega’s brother made one crazy ass couple.

  “What are you going to do, Hani?” my dad asked.

  “Nothing, I’m not giving him a test. Tristan is all the dad Juanie needs,” I said as I headed up the stairs to my old bedroom.

  I hated being at home by myself sometimes. Since my son was staying the weekend with his grandma and my boyfriend is out of town, I’ll be crashing at my parents’ house for the weekend.

  “Tahani, your father called for you today!” my mom yelled to me.

  “I’ll call him later,” I lied.

  The subject of my dad was one that would have to wait for another day.

  3: Tahtiana

  Niggas will drive you crazy and then have the nerve to call you crazy. Right now, I was on my way to show my ass. DeMoni Mercel Hooks had me all the way fucked up! No, we may not have been together anymore but he and his dick were mine whenever I wanted it. He knew that, I knew that, hell the whole state of Florida knew that bit of information.

  Now here I am, on my way to his house to do some damage. I sent his monkey ass a text last night telling him that I just found out that I’m pregnant but the text I woke up to might be the reason for his untimely demise.