Fictitious Love

by Charmanie Saquea

  “Hello?” I said into the phone. “Hell…I know this damn girl did not hang up on me,” I said out loud to myself.

  She does crazy shit like this and wonders why I act the way I do. Like, how could you just pop up and tell me you’re pregnant then all of a sudden you don’t want anything to do with me? She knew I wanted to be there for every doctor’s visit she went to.

  I needed someone to talk to about this foolishness and I knew just the person I could talk to.

  ___

  “What you want?”

  I rolled my eyes as my mom stood guard at her front door like she didn’t want to let me in. She complained about us not coming around but when we did, she acted like this.

  “I bet you don’t act like this when Omega comes over,” I told her.

  “I don’t treat you no differently than I treat him,” she said as she moved out of the way so I could walk in the house. “Now, you only come over here when you’re having Tahtiana problems, so what is it now?” she asked.

  “Really, Ma?” I laughed.

  “Yes, really. So what’s up?”

  “I don’t even know where to start,” I sighed as I plopped down on the couch.

  “How about you start at the beginning. Nah, never mind, start where you left off the last time you were here when you were crying because she left you,” she said.

  “I almost forgot you were my mama for a minute. You know I was not crying,” I told her.

  “Boy, bye. You were sitting in that same spot you’re in now talking about how she left you and you don’t know why. You had tears in your eyes and everything.” She waved me off.

  I had to laugh at her. This lady was really a character with her wild ass. I filled her in on everything that happened, from when Tahti pulled up to my house and ending with what happened today. By the time I was done telling her the story, she was looking at me like I was crazy.

  “First of all, y’all kids are going to drive me crazy. Y’all have more drama than a damn soap opera. Second, DeMoni, stop going over to that girl’s house before one of her nosey ass neighbors end up calling the police on you. You cannot stress that girl out. It is very important that we get her to carry this baby to full term and you acting a fool is not going to help,” she said.

  “What I’m supposed to do, ma? Just let her keep me away from my child?” I asked.

  “If you don’t leave her alone, you might not have a damn child for her to keep you away from. Just chill out and let her do her until the baby is born. You two couldn’t stay away from each other if your lives depended on it. Besides, ain’t you with that one girl?” she asked me.

  “Shantell is just something to do until my wife can get her damn mind right. Besides, she cried in front of me for the first time in ten years, ma.” I shook my head.

  My mom’s hands flew up to her mouth as if she just had the biggest shock of her life. I tried not to laugh because she was always being overly dramatic.

  “Oh, you done messed up now. You didn’t tell me all that in the beginning.”

  “What difference does it make, ma?” I asked.

  “The difference is that Tahtiana is not the same little girl that you used to sneak in my window when you were teenagers. She is a grown woman now, a woman with needs. She’s not going for that stuff that she used to go for way back then. What was the point of keeping her around for ten years if you weren’t going to change into the man that she needs you to be?”

  No lie, my mom was spitting some real stuff at me. Like she always does. I knew I could come to her for some straight up answers to my problem. She had a way of putting things into perspective and really making you think.

  “I’m not even sure that I can be that man she wants me to be, ma. It’s been ten years, so if I’m not the man she wants now, I’ll probably never be,” I told her.

  “Then let her go,” she said with a shrug.

  “I can’t, she’s having my baby,” I protested.

  “You two don’t have to be together to raise a child together. There’s such a thing as co-parenting, and it works very well in some instances.”

  Now that was an idea I wasn’t feeling. I didn’t want another nigga around my child or with my girl. No matter what Tahti and I went through, she would always be mine. Even if I couldn’t be the man she wanted me to be, I wasn’t going to sit back and watch another nigga step in. Call me selfish, I really don’t care.

  6: Tahani

  I’ve been running around like crazy lately, my mommy duties are never done. Everything I do, I do for my son though, so I didn’t care how tired I was as long as he had the best birthday ever. I couldn’t take all the glory for this one even if I wanted to. Omega had been helping out in a major way. He stepped up to the plate like I knew he would.

  For the third time in ten minutes, my phone was ringing and it was the same caller. I really didn’t feel like talking and could do without, but I knew I couldn’t avoid the caller forever.

  “Yes, dad?” I answered.

  “So I guess since your mom married the Jewish man, you have suddenly forgotten who your real father is?” he asked

  I sighed into the phone; I do not have time for this. “If you called me to let me know that you’re jealous, you could have saved all that,” I told him.

  “My house, now, Tahani,” he said.

  “Sorry, but I’m busy and I’m not in your area,” I informed him.

  “Now!” he yelled before hanging up.

  Jesus, take the wheel because I already know what direction this is going in, I silently prayed as I headed to South Beach. I used to be a daddy’s girl once upon a time, up until about four years ago. Honestly, I think all that changed when he found out I was pregnant by Omega but things didn’t come to a head until four years ago, and things have been different between us ever since.

  As soon as I pulled to his house, he was standing in the doorway waiting for me. I took a deep breath as I got out of my car because I knew this was going to be severe. Everything was always that way with him.

  “Where is my grandson?” he asked.

  “Spending some time with his dad,” I told him as I followed him to his office.

  “Oh, Tristan is back in town?”

  “No, he won’t be back until next week for Juanie’s birthday party.” I smirked.

  He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “Then who—”

  “His birth father. You know, the one you thought you could lock up for the rest of his life over some bullshit that you did?” I all but yelled.

  “You didn’t?” his voice roared.

  “Nope, I didn’t. But my dad, you know that Jewish man you’re jealous of? He did,” I said with a straight face.

  This man looked as if he was about to have a heart attack right in his chair. I sat there staring at him to let him know I wasn’t about to play this game with him anymore. Four years ago when I was at his house, I overheard a conversation that broke my heart.

  He was bragging to his friends about how he set his daughter’s criminal ass boyfriend up to go to prison for the rest of his life. I knew he had to be talking about Omega because DeMoni wasn’t locked up. I sat outside his office listening to every detail and even recorded it on my phone. It was then that I realized that my dad really was a crooked police officer.

  Omega used to try to tell me that all the time, but I was young and naïve to a lot of things.

  “It’s crazy how the one person that’s supposed to protect you at all costs is the one that hurts you the most,” I said as I examined all the plaques and awards he had around his office from before he retired. “I wonder if you would still be considered a hero if they knew what you were really about?”

  “Tahani, everything I did was for you!” he said.

  “Don’t you dare lie to me, dad. Everything you did was for you. Don’t think I don’t know about the life you used to live before you decided to make your dealings half-way legal. You’re mad because someone did what you thought you coul
d do but you found out you didn’t have big enough balls,” I told him.

  “You better watch your mouth,” he threatened me.

  “No,” I said as I got up. “You better watch your back because I hear that karma is a very bad bitch,” I said before I walked out of his office and out of his life.

  If he wasn’t still my dad and I didn’t love him, I would have allowed Jerry to use that recording as evidence in his case to get Omega off. But the fact that he was drugged before they took him to that warehouse and knocked out for some hours determined that he could not have killed that boy. Ballistics showed that he was dead at least an hour before Omega even woke up, the bullet in his head didn’t match the gun Omega had and lots of other inconsistencies that the prosecutor failed to mention because he was working with my worthless ass daddy.

  Even when he got caught, he still wanted to lie in my face. It didn’t matter anymore now because Omega was home and Juanie now had his daddy.

  ___

  When I pulled up to Omega’s house, I started to panic because he was standing in the front yard next to Juanie who was bent over as if he was throwing up. I hurried to park my car before getting out and rushing to see what was wrong.

  “What’s—”

  My sentence was cut off due to me being sprayed by two separate water guns. I wanted to be mad, I wanted to cuss Omega out, but the fact that he and Juanie were caught in a fit of laughter and looking just alike, meant that I was going to let this one slide.

  I was just happy that Juanie got a chance to meet his father and develop this bond with him. Don’t get me wrong. Tristan is great, but I’ve always wanted Juanie to know Omega and feared he would never get that chance.

  “We got you good, mom. I can’t believe you fell for it,” Juanie laughed.

  “Really, Juanie? This is how you do me?” I laughed.

  “I told you it was going to work,” Omega told Juanie as he sprayed me again.

  “DeJuan!” I yelled as I tried to run away.

  “What, little baby? You looked a little hot and I’m just trying to cool you down,” Omega laughed.

  “Juanie, get your dad before I kill him!” I yelled.

  “Here, mom,” Juanie said as he handed me his water gun.

  I hurried to grab it and aimed it at Omega before shooting water right in his face.

  “Ahh!” he yelled once he realized that he had used all his water and his gun was empty.

  I used that to my advantage and chased him all around the yard until my gun was out. Juanie was in tears laughing at us. His damn daddy was a fool, always had been. Omega and I used to have fun like this all the time before he got locked up. He would always do something random like spray me with the sprayer whenever he was washing the dishes, pull me in the shower with my clothes on whenever he was in there. You never knew with him.

  “This brings back memories,” Omega laughed.

  “You play entirely too much,” I said as I wrung the bottom of my wet shirt out.

  When I looked up, I had to catch myself. This nigga had taken his shirt off and my Lord, it was a beautiful sight to see. Omega had always had a nice body but prison had obviously been good to him. What used to be a six pack was now an eight pack, he had that little ‘v’ thing going on at the bottom of his stomach, his back muscles were pumped up and everything. To sum it all up, my baby was looking nice. My baby?

  “Close your mouth, little baby. You got a man, remember?” he whispered in my ear as he and his son headed for the house.

  It was like his words had sent a direct message to my kitty because I sure enough felt her jump.

  “Come in and dry your clothes. I can’t have you driving around all soaked like that,” he smirked.

  I knew right then and there that I couldn’t be around this man for too long. Omega was my weakness when we were younger and that was a road I was not ready to go back down. Besides I have man, a good one at that.

  7: Tahtiana

  It had officially been three weeks since the conversation I had with DeMoni. He hadn’t been sitting outside my house or blowing up my phone anymore so I’m guessing he finally got the memo. Who am I kidding? I know DeMoni better than that, he took his crybaby ass over to Mama Nique’s house and she set his ass straight.

  I had just walked out of Miami-Dade College from signing up for classes. A while back, I was going to school to be a physical therapist until I suffered from depression after having my second miscarriage. Now I was taking on a new me and ready to get my life together. Even though I’m twenty-six, it’s never too late to go back to school, plus physical therapy had always been my passion.

  As I got closer to my car, I noticed a figure was leaning against my car. I rolled my eyes as I got ready to cuss DeMoni’s ass out. I thought I had gotten rid of him but I was obviously wrong. When I reached my car, I stopped dead in my tracks. This wasn’t DeMoni all up on my car.

  “Jazz?” I asked.

  He looked up from his phone and flashed me a smile.

  “So this is what I have to do to see your pretty face again?” he asked.

  Jazz and I go back to about two years ago when DeMoni and I were into it. I had gone out to the club by myself and ran into Jazz while I was there. We exchanged numbers and kept in contact with one another, late night talks, meeting up every once in a while for dates, but that’s how far it went with us until one day he just up and disappeared on me.

  “If memory serves me right, you’re the one who went missing in action on me,” I told him.

  “Is that what you think?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “No, that’s what I know. You told me you were going out of town to visit your mom and we would get together when you got back and that was the last I heard from you. What, it took you two years to make it back home?”

  He started laughing but I was serious. “Yo, Tahti, I called you like a week later but your nigga answered the phone on some super boyfriend shit. I called you again after that but apparently my number was blocked.”

  My mouth flew open at this revelation. I had no idea that he had called me or that DeMoni had answered the phone, for that matter. To this day, DeMoni never mentioned the fact that another nigga had called my phone and he answered. Here I was thinking that he had just up and left me.

  “Wow, I didn’t know that,” I told him. “Sorry about that.”

  “No need to apologize. I figured you didn’t know, which is why when I seen you going into the school, I was going to sit in my car until you came back out.” He smiled.

  “Speaking of, what are you doing up here? This ain’t even your scene.”

  “You’re right, but I was dropping off my baby sister. She’s a freshman.”

  “Aww, good big brother,” I laughed.

  “Yea. I guess am, but what are you doing up here? You finally decided to take my advice and come back to school?” he asked.

  “Actually, I did. I just recently made some big changes in my life and I’m trying a new me. This was the second step.” I smiled, proud of what I was doing so far.

  “Oh yea? What was the first one?” he questioned.

  “Removing DeMoni from my life, well, for the next six months at least.” I sighed.

  “Six months?”

  I rubbed my belly and waited for him to catch on. When realization finally set in, a look of disappointment came across his face before a he forced a smile on his face. He didn’t think I caught it, but I did.

  “Congrats,” he said.

  “Thank you.”

  “So, can I get your number so we can be friends again?” he asked.

  I didn’t see the harm in me and Jazz being friends, not to mention you could never go wrong with a fine ass friend like him. He stood about 6’0, caramel skin, long braids down his back, and dark eyes that made him look mysterious.

  I told him to give me his phone and plugged my number in while telling him that he better call me. He assured me that he would before kissing my cheek and helping me in
to my car with promises of us getting together soon.

  ___

  I pulled up to my baby sister’s house and used my key to let myself in. I missed her little butt. Growing up, me and Tahani were very close. The fact that we ended up falling for two brothers made our bond stronger but I felt a little rift come in when she got with her new man.

  There was something about Tristan that I didn’t like and I never hid that fact from either one of them. You couldn’t tell Tahani anything though; her ass had always been gullible and fell easily for the wrong ones. Not saying that Omega was wrong for her, I love Omega like a brother, but she never wanted to listen when someone tried to tell her that he was out her doing her dirty.

  I was never one to judge her because his damn bother was the same way. The difference between my sister and me is I would confront DeMoni and threaten his ass. Hani, on the other hand, could just act like she didn’t hear anything when it came to Omega and let him get away with it.

  “Hani!” I yelled out to her.

  “Upstairs, Tahti!” she yelled back.

  When I reached the top of the stairs, I had to stop for a minute and catch my breath. I may be only three months and barely showing, but this damn baby was taking a lot out of me already. When I reached Tahani’s room, I heard her telling someone, who I assumed to be Tristan, that she loved them.

  I rolled my eyes as I kicked my shoes off and climbed in her bed.

  “What you doing, gal?” I asked her.

  “Making sure everything is in order for my baby’s birthday this weekend.” She smiled.

  “Seven years old, huh? It seems like just yesterday I was in the delivery room crying like I was the one in labor,” I laughed.

  “Yes, I get teary-eyed just thinking about him growing up. I wanted him to stay little forever.” She pouted.

  “Where is he, anyways? I didn’t hear him in his room playing that game,” I asked.

  “He’s somewhere out with his dad. Ever since he and Omega met, it’s been ‘Tahani who’?” she shook her head.