Fictitious Love

by Charmanie Saquea

  “Man, shut the hell up, DeJuan, I didn’t do it on purpose. That bitch trapped me. That’s why I was late to come get you and Juanie that day because she hit me with that shit. I told her ass to get an abortion before I left and when I got home later that night she was gone.”

  This was another spot of drama you could add to our family. I have no doubts that Shantell ran away from DeMoni just so she could have that baby and not be forced to have an abortion. Crazy ass.

  18: Tahtiana

  I was so angry that I was hyperventilating. My mama and Mama Nique were trying to get me to calm down but it wasn’t working. I would have to say that this was the lowest thing that DeMoni could have ever done to me. Knowing after I got that abortion when I was seventeen, I struggled for years to give that bastard a damn baby, but when I finally get pregnant again, he impregnates the next bitch.

  Nobody will understand my pain but me and that really sent a dagger through my heart. I hated myself for years after I got that abortion. I thought my womb was tainted after I had that third miscarriage and I felt really bad that I couldn’t give him kids when I knew how bad he wanted some. I knew he would eventually go out and get someone else pregnant, but now that it has actually happened, there are no words to describe the pain I feel.

  “You have to pull yourself together, Tahti. Stop stressing that baby out.”

  I nodded my head. “You’re right, Mama Nique. I’m sorry,” I said as I felt myself calming down.

  “No need to apologize. I’ve never been in this situation before but I’ve been hurt by a man plenty of times, so I know hurt. Don’t let that boy stress you out and get you to this point. He’s just like his trifling ass daddy,” Mama Nique spat.

  I had to let out a little chuckle as we walked back into the living room.

  “I’ll deal with you about this situation later,” Mama Nique told DeMoni. “Now, I called this meeting because there has been a lot going on that I’m not taking too kindly. I’ve watched you kids grew into the adults you are today and I must say that some of your actions towards each other are really disturbing me.”

  “What actions, ma?” Omega asked.

  “I’m glad you asked.” She smiled. “For starters, Tahani and Tahtiana. You two are sisters. There is no way you two should be looking at each other and going at each other’s throats like you are enemies.”

  I felt as if this was my cue to speak up. “Mama Nique, you know as well as everybody else that I have been by Tahani’s side since she was born. I lost all respect for my sister when she thought it was okay to dog me out for a nigga who has a problem keeping his hands to himself,” I spat.

  Just thinking about what Tahani said to me had me ready to jump across the room and beat her ass.

  “See, there you go talking about stuff you know nothing about. Maybe had you not been plotting with this nigga over here to take my son from me, I wouldn’t have said what I said,” she rolled her eyes.

  “Maybe if you didn’t like getting your ass whooped in front of my nephew, you wouldn’t have to worry about him getting taken. Now would you?” I snapped.

  “Okay and that’s the end of that right there. Sisters shouldn’t act like this. Tahani, why can’t you just apologize for whatever it is that you said to Tahtiana and move on from it?” Mama Nique asked.

  “Because no matter what she does, Tahani will be dead to me until she realizes the nigga she’s so in love with isn’t who she tries to portray him to be. Nobody but her likes him and I don’t even think she likes him,” I told her.

  “You don’t even know him.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Don’t care to and if you keep rolling your eyes, I’m going to slap them out of your head. That is the type of stuff you like, right? Being slapped around?” I asked her.

  “Tahtiana!” my mama yelled.

  “She’s right though, Tahani. That nigga is not who you think he is,” Alpha spoke up.

  “What?” she asked confused.

  Before Alpha could say anything else, DeMoni said something that had everybody looking at him like he was crazy. I had to lay my head back on the couch and rub my stomach; this was too much for me and my baby.

  “Fuck you just say?” Omega barked.

  “I said, Tristan is the one who shot Juanie,” DeMoni said, a little louder this time.

  “Moni, why the hell would you say something like that?” Tahani asked. “I get the fact that nobody in here cares for him but to try to blame him for shooting Juanie is a bit too much. It could have been anybody that shot him.”

  “No, it couldn’t have. I looked to my right after Omega had been hit and he fell on me, right before he rolled his window up, I got a good look at his face,” Moni explained.

  By now Tahani had jumped up like she was going to do something. With my eyes, I dared her to make a move in his direction.

  “I don’t believe you. Tristan loves Juanie and would never do something like that to him. Maybe you forgot, but he was the only father Juanie knew before I fucked up and helped your brother get out of prison,” she spat before she stormed out of the house.

  “Tahani!” my mama tried to run after her.

  “Let her ass go. If she’s too simple to know when someone who really cares about her is trying to tell her something, then let her go,” I yelled.

  I was beyond fed up with Tahani going stupid behind this nigga. Juanie’s uncle just told you that he shot your son, your fucking son, and you accuse him of lying and run out of the house to be with that nigga. Fuck Tahani. Hopefully she’ll realize Tristan ain’t shit before it was too late.

  19: Tahani

  I had to get out of there. Everyone had this perception of who Tristan was in their heads and it was driving me crazy. The fact that Moni would go as far as to say that Tristan was the one who shot Juanie was absurd. I know Tristan better than any of them and he may be a lot of things, but I have no doubts that he didn’t do what Moni is claiming he did.

  He loves Juanie as if he was his birth son, so why the hell would he want to shoot him? Exactly, makes no damn sense. I guess Moni was another one I have to add to my cut off list and that hurts because I really looked at him as the brother I never had. Ever since I introduced Omega and Tristan, my life has taken a left turn.

  I glanced down at my ringing phone and noted that it was my mama. I hit the ignore button and kept driving until I got home. I didn’t want to talk to any of them right now. I pulled up in my driveway and took a deep breath. I already knew Tristan was going to ask me a million questions about what happened and I really didn’t want to talk about it.

  When I walked through the door, I was shocked at the sight before me. The only light in the house was the candles that were lit. Rose petals were on the floor in a trail that led to the stairs. I followed the trail of petals until I reached our bedroom where they led to the bathroom.

  When I got to the bathroom, Tristan was sitting on the side of the tub that was filled with bubbles. I stood there with my mouth hanging open.

  “Tristan, what is all this?” I asked.

  “I just wanted to show my appreciation for you. I know I’ve been the biggest asshole lately but that’s just because I was scared of losing you and I was going about it the wrong way. I know how you felt about your baby daddy once upon a time and I thought you would eventually leave me for him,” he said.

  I just shook my head.

  “That’s crazy, Trist. I told you plenty of times that I don’t have any feelings for Omega. Those feelings I had for him died years ago. I’m where I want to be, which is right here with you,” I told him.

  “I understand that now,” he said as he walked over to me.

  He grabbed my hand and walked me over to the toilet, sitting me down on the top. He took my shoes off and massaged my feet for a little while. Then he continued to remove to remove the rest of my clothing until I was as naked as the day I came into the world. He trailed kisses from my lips all the way down to my neck where he sucked lightly.

/>   It had been so long since Tristan had touched me so delicately. He led me over to the tub and the water was still hot, as if he just ran it. I eased my body into the water and laid my head back. Out of nowhere, I just burst into tears. I didn't know if I was crying for my son, because I was losing everyone close to me, or because my relationship with Tristan was so misunderstood.

  "Shhh, it's okay baby," he said as he washed my body. "It's just me and you against the world."

  I nodded my head because he was completely right. It was just me and him against the world. I knew that I would be fine as long as I had him by my side. Everyone else was turning their backs on me and it seemed as if Tristan was the only one that was really down for me. Just then, “My Love” by The Dream and Mariah Carey came on. It seemed as if Mariah was singing the words to my life.

  So they don't understand why I'll never leave you

  Explain my love, I don't need to

  Got everybody way up in our business

  'Cause leaving each other stay on they wish list

  If those weren't the realist lyrics I'd ever heard, then I don't know what. Everybody was rooting for me to break up with Tristan but they would die from holding their breaths because it wasn't happening any time soon.

  "I think we need to go on a long vacation when Juanie gets better. There's no way in hell I'm letting Omega take my son. He can't even protect him, look what happened to him while he was in his care," I said.

  Everybody was hollering how I was putting Juanie's in danger but said nothing about the fact that he got shot while he was with his so-called father. Shit like that pisses me off.

  "It's your call baby, whatever you wanna do," Tristan said.

  That's exactly how I felt at that moment, it's my call. I had been playing by Omega's rules since he'd been home but I was going to play by my own rules now. Omega could either fall in line or suffer the repercussions; his choice.

  ___

  The next morning, me and Tristan woke up early so we could go see Juanie. I wasn't worried about the fact that Omega didn't want Tristan there. As I stated before, I was playing by my own rules. When we reached Juanie's room, my heart dropped when I saw it was empty. Fearing the worst, I started panicking.

  "Excuse me?" I asked the nurse that was assigned to his room. "Where's my son?"

  "I'm not sure, ma'am. When I got to work this morning, they told me he had been moved," she said.

  "To another room, right?" I asked just to make sure.

  "No ma'am. Another hospital," she informed me.

  By now I was seeing red. Who the hell authorized my son to be moved to another hospital without my permission? Omega. It hit me as soon as I asked myself that question.

  "I'm going to kill his black ass!" I yelled.

  "Calm down, baby." Tristan said.

  I wasn't trying to hear that shit right now though, this nigga had my son moved and didn't even have the decency to tell me. I took my cellphone out of my purse and dialed his number, ready to go off.

  I heard him pick up and before he could utter a 'hello', I went in on his ass.

  "Where the fuck is my son, DeJuan?" I yelled.

  I didn't get an answer, instead I was met with a beeping noise letting me know that he hand hung up. I was really on ten now. I was calling to see about my son and this nigga had the audacity to hang up on me? He was really testing my patience. DeJuan Hooks did not want to play with me right now.

  He must have forgotten that I have a crooked ass police officer for a father. I promise this is not the game he wants to play with me. I’m done being nice, to everybody.

  20: Moni

  Just when I thought me and Tahti were going to be good, something had to come and fuck it up all over again. I had no intentions on her finding out about Shantell being pregnant, because she wasn’t going to be pregnant for long. Or at least, that’s what I thought. The day Juanie got shot and I came home late, she was gone. All her clothes, shoes, everything; gone.

  At first, I was ecstatic because that meant I didn’t have to put up with her ass anymore. Don’t get me wrong. Shantell was alright, but she wasn’t Tahtiana. I knew that and she damn sure knew that. She always tried to compare herself to Tahtiana and that’s what I used to hate the most.

  Never in a million years would I have thought she would make that hoe move she did by calling Tahtiana to tell her she was pregnant. I’m just trying to figure out what she planned on accomplishing by doing that. Nothing has changed, I still don’t want her to have my baby and Tahtiana still wants to beat her ass, now more than ever.

  “What’s wrong, lover boy?” Omega asked me.

  “My baby mama acting funny again,” I sighed.

  “Which one?” he asked with a laugh.

  “Go to hell, Omega. Your baby mama drama ain’t no better than mines,” I told him.

  “That may be true big brother, but I only have one baby mama to have drama with.” He smirked.

  “Ain’t that the truth,” my pops said as he walked in the room behind my mama.

  “Anyways,” she rolled her eyes. “Y’all, don’t let your daddy talk you into no foolishness. You are never too old to get beat,” she said as she headed for the door.

  “Where you going?” me, my brothers, and my dad asked.

  “I ain’t had a daddy for some years now and I don’t remember having four of them. But if you must know, I’m going to check on my grandson,” she said smartly.

  “Remember what I told you, mama. If that crazy ass girl calls you, don’t answer,” Omega yelled after her and she just waved him off.

  “Man, I love that evil woman,” my dad laughed.

  “I don’t know why,” Omega joked.

  “Alpha and Omega,” I said out loud. “Ain’t that some shit? Why Keylin didn’t get the name Omega since he’s the youngest?” I asked.

  “Because I gave Omega that nickname when he was a baby. He was supposed to be the last one, Key was what you call an ‘uh oh’ baby,” My pops laughed.

  “What the hell is an ‘uh oh’ baby?” Keylin hawked.

  “That means your ass wasn’t wanted,” Omega told him.

  “Man, DeJuan, shut up! You always got something to say!” Keylin yelled.

  “Alright y’all, chill out. Mega, you know you can’t play with Key’s crybaby ass like that,” I said, stifling a laugh.

  People always thought Omega and I went through it when we were growing up, but that wasn’t even the case. It was Omega and Keylin who were always at each other’s throats. Omega would say or do something to get under Keylin’s skin, knowing he was sensitive. Keylin, being the baby he was, would always run and tell mama on Omega.

  Keylin may have been the baby out of the three of us, but Omega was mama’s baby. He was her pet. She let that nigga get away with more than me and Keylin ever could have.

  “Alright, children. Calm it down. Your mama called me here because she felt that it was time for us to talk about some things,” Pops said.

  “What kind of things, pops?” I asked.

  “A lot of things, but Kelvin James being one of them,” he said.

  “Tahani and Tahtiana’s dad?” Omega asked.

  “Yea.”

  “What he got to do with anything besides the fact that he’s a crooked ass officer who tried to lock my brother up for the rest of his life?” I asked.

  “Once upon a time, me and Kelvin used to run in the same crew. We were actually best friends growing up. I was the one who put him on and everything. Once we started getting down and dirty with the crew, I realized that he really wasn’t cut out for that lifestyle. He was basically trying to be something he really wasn’t. Once I tried to tell him to chill out, he stared to turn on me.”

  I was fully intrigued now. I had no idea about this bit of information. So not only was this nigga a crooked cop, but he always tried to be a street nigga and failed at it.

  “So what happened after that?” Omega asked.

  “That nigga turned into an
enemy. One night, I came home early and caught him trying to rape your mama. She told me he came over talking about I sent him here and some other bullshit. That incident right there is what led to me and your mama breaking up,” he explained.

  “I’m ready to kill that nigga now!” I yelled.

  Just hearing the fact that that nigga tried to rape my damn mama had me hot as hell. While I was over here steaming, I thought about something. “Why you ain’t kill that nigga?” I questioned him.

  “Your mama saved his life,” he said. “She begged me not to kill him because she didn’t want me to go to prison for the rest of my life. She told me she was pregnant with Key and that was the only thing that saved his life. Omega was only three at the time and you were four,” he told me.

  “Did you at least fuck him up?” Keylin asked.

  “You know me better than that, Key. I fucked that nigga up so bad that his ass ended up in the hospital.”

  “Why his ass hate my guts so much then?” Omega asked.

  “Because you’re my son and you knocked up his youngest daughter before she could even graduate high school,” Pops told him.

  “Okay, but Moni was fucking Tahti way before me and Tahani even got together.” Omega shook his head.

  “That may be true, but he knew Tahtiana wasn’t going to go for that telling her who she could and couldn’t be with. I may not have been in your lives physically, but I know a lot more than you think I do. Tahani has always been gullible for some reason. He knew he could dictate her life, but when he noticed that you had her heart, he figured she wouldn’t leave you alone unless he removed you from her life.”

  At this point, all I could do was shake my head. This shit was too much for me and it really wasn’t even my problem, but on the other hand it was because my brother’s problems were my problems. Kelvin was a hoe ass nigga and that was that.

  21: Omega

  I’m sitting here laughing but the situation is far from funny. Had I known that being with Tahani would cause this much turmoil in my life, I would have never got with her. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Tahani more than anything once upon a time, but now I’m feeling like she wasn’t even worth everything I went through or that I’m currently going through. The only good thing that came out of me messing with her was my son.