I crossed the room, threw my arms around his neck, and planted a big one on his lips. My lips parted as he teased them with his tongue, giving me the slightest taste of him, before breaking from the kiss. I groaned inwardly.
“I’ll be back in a little while.”
I stuck out my lower lip and folded my arms over my chest. He laughed softly, placed his hand on the small of my back, and kissed the top of my head. He turned on his heels and left the room.
“AHH!” Amelia squealed. “It’s about time you two got together! Come, sit, and tell me all about it!”
I shook my head. I didn’t see the big ordeal over it. We were a couple. There’s nothing exciting about that. Except for the two of us. I wasn’t sure why she seemed to be all hopped up about it. But I obliged and sat down on my bed.
Amelia took her usual post on the floor in front of me, and listened enthusiastically as I recapped the details of the last week for her. Every so often, she’d ask for an elaboration, and I’d give her what she wanted. We went through each day from when we arrived. When I reached yesterday, I paused. I couldn’t tell her about it until I told her the truth.
This was it. It was time I had to tell her.
“Amelia,” I said. I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Remember when I told you about my best friend that passed away.”
Her only response was a slight nod.
I took a deep breath before continuing. “Well, she died in a horrible car accident.”
I could feel my voice getting shaky as the tears started to form in the corner of my eyes. I opened my mouth several times before closing it. I struggled to find the right words. It may not have been easy to tell Owen the truth, but it was certainly easier to tell him over Amelia.
I had the overwhelming feeling that when I did, it’d be like I was replacing Reagan. My stomach was in knots with the idea. I felt all the color drain from my face and my palms started to sweat.
“You don’t have to tell me, Brenn,” Amelia whispered gently. “I already know.”
I snapped my head up. “What do you mean you already know? Know what? What is it that you think you could possibly know?”
Uh-oh, there was that anger coming back in full force.
Amelia glanced nervously around the room. For the first time since I had met her, she seemed unsure of herself. She seemed completely uncomfortable and was looking for a means to escape.
“Well,” she started. She paused for a moment and cleared her throat. “I kind of did some research when they e-mailed us our dorm assignments.”
“What kind of research?” I snapped.
“I googled you to see if anything of interest came up,” she replied hesitantly. Her knees were bouncing up and down quickly and she kept running her fingers through her hair. I bunched up a fistful of my comforter. “And that’s . . . that’s when I read about the accident.”
I wasn’t upset. In fact, I was almost relieved. It meant that I didn’t have to hash out all the details and retell the story all over again. I kept the secret so close to me, afraid to tell anyone of what happened. But if I was honest, if someone really wanted to know, all that had to do was look it up. It was big news in Seattle and articles were easily found. The daughter of Fortune 500 CEO passing away garnered a lot of media attention.
“You’re not mad are you?”
“Mad?” I said. I shook my head and laughed lightly. “No, more like relieved. But why didn’t you say anything?”
Amelia stopped fidgeting and seemed to relax her tense body. “Oh thank God,” she said, exhaling the breath she had been holding. “And I didn’t say anything, well, because I figured you’d tell me when you were ready.”
I all but tackled her to the ground. We fell over and started giggling hysterically. “Thank you,” I said to her as we pulled ourselves back together. “Thank you for being such a great friend, for not prying, and . . . just thank you for everything.”
“That’s what friends are for, Brenn.”
I helped Amelia off the floor and gave her one last quick hug before returning to my perch on my bed. I couldn’t help think about how lucky I was to have a friend like her. She reminded me of Reagan is so many ways, but at the same time she didn’t. Amelia was unique, one of a kind—like Reagan—and I couldn’t ask for a better roommate or friend.
I laid on my back, looking up at the ceiling. I heard a vibrating noise against the desk, and an irritated growl coming from Amelia. I sat back up and looked across the room. She was staring at her phone, battling some sort of inner conflict over something.
“Can I ask you something?” Amelia looked to me, bit her bottom lip, and nodded. She seemed upset and equally as worried. “Earlier, what was that? The whole thing with Owen.”
She was back to running her hands through her hair. I was starting to think this was her nervous habit. Sort of like how I clutched my necklace for comfort.
“I was seeing one of his friends,” she responded softly. I raised my eyebrows and looked at her with wide eyes.
“Who?”
“You have your secrets, I have mine,” she answered stoically.
The smile that had crept to my face vanished. A little twinge of hurt resonated in my chest. It wasn’t fair for me to be upset that she wouldn’t tell me, but I couldn’t blame her. It took me this long to try and tell her about something she already knew.
“I’ll tell you about it eventually,” Amelia continued. “Right now, it’s just too much to talk about. It ended on a pretty sour note. So, can we leave it for now?”
“Of course we can!” I said, overemphasizing the cheeriness in my voice. I glanced at the clock, seeing that it was almost six. “Well, I better head over to Owen’s. Do you want to grab dinner with us?”
“No, I’m tired from the trip back,” she answered, lying down on her back. “You two go have some fun, you little lovebirds.”
I wanted to protest. Demand, beg, whatever it took to get her to come with us, but I didn’t. She obviously needed time to herself. I wanted to ask her about the guy she was fooling around with when I walked in, but I left it alone. When she was ready, she’d tell me, I just needed to give her the time and space she gave me.
I grabbed my purse and headed toward the door. I was stopped by the sound of Amelia’s voice. “I’m happy for you, Brenn.”
“Me too.”
TWENTY-THREE
“TELL ME,” OWEN SAID. “What’s the one thing that scares you the most?”
I looked up my cup. Owen’s eyes seemed to glow in the soft glow cast from the candles perched on top of the table. The restaurant was small and intimate. A perfect setting for our first official date.
“That’s a loaded question, do you think?” I laughed. I sighed, mixing the clear liquid in my glass with a straw. “Well,” I drew out. “Drinking . . . drinking is what scares me the most.”
“You mean alcohol, right?”
“Yes, but not the drinking in itself, but the effects it has on a person. After what happened last year with Reagan—” My throat became dry at the mention of her name. It was still weird talking about her out loud after all this time. “With the accident, I’ve never been able to look at alcohol in the same light.”
“But you go to parties,” Owen said, quirking his eyebrow.
“I mean, I’m young. I still want to have fun, but I don’t have to be intoxicated to do so.”
He nodded in agreement.
“What about you?” It was my turn to question him. “What scares you the most?”
He leaned back in his chair, interlocking his fingers behind his head. “That I’m going to screw this up,” he answered bluntly.
I reached across the table, holding my hand out for his. He placed his hand in mine, and I caressed the top of it with my thumb. Trying to reassure him that everything was going to be fine.
“Do you remember that night when Amelia was drugged?” I asked him. He nodded slightly. “And you remember when I told you th
at you weren’t as bad as you think you are?” Another nod. “I still believe that.”
He swallowed the lump in his throat. “But this is what I do, Brenn. I let a girl get close, trick her into thinking that she’s the one for me, and then I do something stupid. Ultimately breaking her heart. What if this is another trick I’m playing, only I haven’t realized it.”
I heard the fear in his voice.
I wasn’t going to lie, what he just said petrified me. I knew all too well what he was talking about. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that against all odds we were going to work. My heart wanted to believe that I was the one. Not the person who changed his playboy ways, but the one who he wanted to change for.
“I’m scared too,” I said as honestly as I could. “But I’m more afraid of not seeing where this goes. Afraid that I might miss out on the only chance I have. I’m diving into this headfirst, not knowing which way is up, and all I want for you to do is the same. Can you do that, Owen?”
“I did a cannonball the moment my eyes met yours,” he whispered, squeezing my hand gently.
“It’s settled then . . .” I said. “We’re in this one hundred percent. There’s no backing out. What happens, happens. Only time will tell.”
“Aren’t you afraid?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.
“Very,” I answered. “But the heart wants what it wants. And right now, it wants you. Who am I to tell it no?”
At that moment, the waitress brought our food. The conversation from then on was light and easygoing. We bantered back and forth about little things. Such as cereal; his favorite was Lucky Charms whereas mine was Cookie Crisp. He preferred Johnny Cash to Elvis Presley, to which I was completely mortified. And he like low-top Chucks compared to high-tops, which was a crime.
By the end of the night, my cheeks were aching from the permanent smile I had on my face. We took our time walking back to campus, soaking up every moment we had together. Fog had covered the grounds of the school, giving it a haunting feeling, straight out of a horror film. We rode the elevator up in silence, arms wrapped around one another.
“And we’re home,” Owen said, swinging our clasped hands back and forth.
I leaned against the wall next to my door, still clutching his hand, and smiled. I pulled him toward me, his legs stepping in between mine. I bit on my lower lip as I stared up into his eyes.
“You’re making it really hard to keep my promise to your brothers,” he said, thickly. “And your father.”
“Oh, really?” I replied. I grabbed the belt loops on his pants, pulling him toward me. I ran my hands under his shirt, tracing the contours of his chiseled abdomen, my hands coming to a stop on his waist. “And what promise is that?”
“Not giving them a reason to bury me out in your backyard.”
“I don’t like that promise,” I teased, licking my lips.
The door to my room opened up, and I jumped in my skin. I moved my hands from Owen, staring at Amelia like a kid who had just been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
“I thought I heard you two out here,” she said. She leaned up against the door frame and glanced between us. “By all means, don’t let my presence stop you two.”
She winked. I shook my head, wishing she’d go back into our room and close the door behind her. When she made it a point that it wasn’t going to happen, I sighed in defeat. I guessed my time with Owen was up.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said, pressing my lips against his for a quick kiss.
I turned to enter our room when he pulled me back to him. In one quick motion, he had one hand wrapped around my waist, and one fisted in my hair. His mouth crashed down onto mine. His tongue teased my lips until I parted them, letting him in. I could taste the mint he had sucked on after dinner, a parting gift from the restaurant.
I groaned into his mouth, pressing my body against him. Our tongues darted around one another, not seeming to get the fill they needed. Owen tugged on my bottom lip with his teeth as he pulled away. My body was hot, and I felt the fire burning inside of me. I fought off the urge to press him up against the wall, and never stop kissing him.
“Now that’s a proper good night kiss,” Amelia said, killing the moment.
I felt the heat rush to my face as I blushed. I pecked Owen one last time before turning and entering our room. Amelia said something to him but I didn’t catch it. I fell on top of my mattress as I heard our door close.
“Tell me,” she said. I heard her bed creak as she sat down. “Was that kiss as hot as it looked?”
I groaned, lifting my head off my bed. “You just have to ruin everything, don’t you?”
She laughed, the sound filling the room. “It’s taken you this long to figure it out.”
I sighed, lying my head back down. No, I had figured out that Amelia seemed to have the most impeccable timing at all the wrong moments. Leave it up to her to make a joke of the best kiss of my life.
Sure, I had kissed plenty of guys before. Okay, so maybe not plenty, but I had my fair share. And none of them kissed me like that. My body never seemed so alive before. It didn’t feel awkward or wrong. It was like his lips were meant for mine. Two very different people who were made to kiss one another.
“I forgot how much I missed you,” I told Amelia.
I sat up, scooting across my bed, and propped myself against the wall. “Yeah, well that’s what you get for shacking up with Mr. Sex-on-legs for a week and forget to call me.”
“If I recall, you were too busy to pick up the phone yourself.”
Amelia shrugged her shoulders. I studied her for a moment, trying to figure out what seemed to be different about her, and then I realized what it was. “You got tan over Christmas break.” I pointed out. “Is that even possible in Manhattan?”
Her eyes widened in shock for a moment before she shrugged it off again. “Tanning beds,” she answered. “Doesn’t basically everyone have one in Washington? The place where the rain doesn’t stop.”
I laughed it off. I knew that her sun-kissed skin and freckles were not the result of a tanning bed. No, hers came from the natural resource, like she had been frolicking out in the sun rather than being snowed in while in New York. I didn’t press the issue, though. She’d tell me if she wanted me to know.
“Are you ready for classes to start up again in a few days?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Does it snow in the desert?” she retorted.
“No, no it doesn’t,” I replied. I laughed lightly. “But it could.”
Amelia grabbed a pillow next to her and chucked it at me. I held my hands up in defense and blocked her shot. We busted out in a fit of laughter. It was good to be back. I missed Amelia, and seeing her reminded of the one thing I had been missing—friendship.
It wasn’t long after that, that we called it a night. Amelia started mumbling something in her sleep almost the moment her head hit her pillow. I laid awake, staring in to the nothingness the dark room provided. I thought about how much had changed in the last week, how much I had changed, and how for once I was ready to start living again. Really living. The last thing I thought about was Owen’s lips on mine, still swollen from his kiss, and I eventually drifted off to sleep.
***
The first week of classes breezed by. It was nice to be back; anything was better than being stuck with Amelia in our room. She’d been a bit of a Debbie Downer over the last several days. Every time I thought she’d open up and tell me what was going on in that pretty little head of hers, she’d close up again.
It was worse when Owen hung out in our room. Which was why we spent most of our time in his, or around town. He showed me places I didn’t know existed. Not too far from the campus was a beautiful flower garden and hiking trails. Once the weather warmed, I couldn’t wait to explore more of Eugene’s hidden treasures.
The near future held so many promises, and I was excited for once again in my life. Each day, it was getting easier to open up.
Not just to Owen but to Amelia. I hadn’t seen much of Callen; basketball season was well under way. However, tonight we were going to watch him play. My brothers were driving down for the game.
I couldn’t wait to see them.
As I walked across campus, I still found myself in awe of the sheer beauty it held. Though the grounds were wet, the sky was gloomy and the air was cold, the buildings that stood block after block were something to marvel. The historical feel, the intricate architect, every detail in every design, was well thought out, and breathtaking.
I was becoming more and more aware of when Owen was near. I felt the magnetic pull between us whenever he was close by. I halted to a stop feeling it then, waiting for Owen to jump out and scare me from some new hiding place he had discovered. I pulled my jacket tight, my arms holding it in place, and tapped my foot impatiently. Any second now he was going to ju—
“Boo!” he shouted from behind me. Although I was expecting it, I still jumped, startled by his hands grabbing my waist. I let out a small yelp and turned to face him. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. “I got you this time.”
“That you did,” I said, patting his cheek.
He leaned in for a kiss. Not one to do anything but in excess, he wrapped his arm around the small of my back, and dipped me. I squealed, laughing against his lips as he brought me back to an upright position. He peppered my face with quick kisses.
“God, I missed you,” he said between kisses.
“You saw me less than two hours ago.”
“Two hours too long,” he replied, taking my hand into his. We started to head toward the dorms. “I thought I was going to die while sitting through Professor Thompson’s lecture.”
I laughed. “What was it about today?”
“I don’t know,” he answered, shrugging his shoulders. “My mind was too busy thinking about more important things.”
“Oh yeah?” I flirted back. “And what could possibly be more important than paying attention in class?”
“Hamburgers.”
“Ham—” I started to say. I playfully swatted him on his arm and shook my head. With the upmost impeccable timing, Owen’s stomach rumbled. We chuckled. “All right, let’s go get something in that bottomless pit of yours.”
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