Bard to the Bone

by Cid Banks

He paused, biting his lip before shaking his head.

  “What do you remember?”

  He studied his ash-stained hands. Gingerly he fingered the small lightning bolt necklace, eyebrows furrowing. “He gave me this.”

  “Who gave it to you?”

  “Tom.”

  I swallowed hard, remembering the strange island world.

  Didn’t mean anything. Tom was a common name. “What else?”

  “I-I remember he said that I was a pawn. Accept it. He was evil.”

  A chill crawled down my spine.

  I’d forgotten all about the hellish encounter on the island. It came back to me like the remnants of a bad dream. He knew things about me. The Storm King must’ve found a similar exploit into the island.

  What the hell was Tom?

  I offered him my hand. “Maybe I should keep that.”

  The lightning medallion broke from his neck. He gave it to me, and I added the necklace to my inventory. Without it, there was nothing left of the Storm King.

  He was someone new. Someone who needed help.

  Just like me. “Would you like to know your name?”

  “Yes.”

  I chose my former roommate’s name. “It’s Ed, short for Edmond.”

  “Ed,” he repeated.

  “You have a chance to make a new life, Ed. A better life.”

  He looked into my eyes. “I just want peace.”

  The girls stood together as I helped him to his feet. Naomi squeezed my shoulder, grinning.

  “How do I do that?” he asked. “Where should I go?”

  I gestured to the fields of grass. “There is a whole world out there. You can go wherever you want.” It felt cruel to send him out in the wilderness. “You’re welcome to come with us.”

  He blinked against the harsh sunlight, whose rays broke through the clouds. “Where?”

  “We’re headed south—to a place called Blackspire Fortress. There’s plenty of work available. It’s perfect for anyone searching for a new beginning.”

  Hope blossomed over his face. “Is it safe?”

  It will be.

  Twenty-Nine

  Blackspire Fortress was a ruined mess, but it was mine.

  After looting the Stormhold ruins, we made the trek back to the empty Blackspire fortress. Practically everyone was gone. Some of the rebels came with us, but most who’d set up camp in the courtyard returned home. Others took jobs within the castle and its outskirts. Many of them had nowhere else to go.

  Naomi and I found a farmer whose son had died in the conflict. He was happy to take Ed as an apprentice. The man who was the Storm King ducked inside a cottage before waving at us. Nobody had to know who he was. And they never would.

  Despite the Storm King’s defeat, the fighting wasn’t entirely over. Vassals of the former king still waged war, scrambling to consolidate power. Riken and Count Florian were at large. There were plenty more who deserved justice, but the girls and I were sick of battling.

  Naomi and I roamed the castle, and as we did, people stopped what they were doing to salute me.

  “So how does it feel to be a hero of the rebellion?” Naomi asked.

  “I don’t feel like one.”

  We paused at a tiny balcony garden beside the chapel ruins. A dark tree with vibrant, soft pink flowers grew in the center, surrounded with wildflowers. It wasn’t much, but it would do for Cedric’s final resting place.

  A crowd gathered to mourn Cedric, leaving behind tokens of gratitude at the tree’s base. Amy stepped forward. She placed Cedric’s hammer and shield against the trunk.

  Cedric had never had the luxury of a respawn. He gave his life so we might survive. He was the real hero.

  Who had it worse? The NPCs, or the players who eventually lost their minds?

  “I wish you were still here.” He was the closest thing I had to a mentor. “Goodbye, Cedric.”

  I brushed the bark where Amy had carved a cross and walked to her side. Amy’s face was dry, but a thousand years’ worth of misery shined from her eyes.

  I wrapped my arm around her waist. “Want us to stay?”

  “No, I’m good.” Her lip quivered, but she held firm. “I just need time alone.”

  “Okay.” I kissed her cheek. “We’ll be upstairs.”

  She nodded, and Naomi and I left the memorial. We strolled through the halls, letting Amy grieve with her companions. A crying Faris enveloped her in a hug.

  My new houseguests were busying about the castle, clearing out the rooms, and setting up more temporary structures. Among the makeshift tents, a cute blonde caught my eye.

  Holy shit. “Krile?”

  It was the girl from my first day in the game.

  “Hey!” She grinned. It was the same smile.

  “What are you doing here?”

  The sexy farm girl outfit was gone. In its place, she wore buttoned-up traveler’s gear, thick leather gloves, and a dagger hanging on her hip.

  I gaped at her. “You were a spy this whole time?”

  Krile laughed with a helpless shrug. “Yes, but I’m still thankful you rescued me!”

  “Unbelievable,” Naomi muttered. “I saved you!”

  Krile ignored her. “When I handed off the message for the captain, I told him about the bard that risked everything for me.”

  Naomi groaned. “Once again, I saved you.”

  She batted her eyelashes. “I’m glad you ended up joining us in the resistance. You know, I never got a thank you.”

  “He’s good, thanks.” Naomi grabbed my arm. “I think you have enough girlfriends already.”

  Krile blushed as we left her standing in the hall.

  “What am I going to do with you.” Naomi released a long sigh. “It seems like every pair of tits you come across becomes the only thing you can focus on.”

  That wasn’t true. “Give me some credit. I didn’t hit on Faris!”

  “That’s because she would have killed you.” We stopped at a rampart overlooking the courtyard, where everyone had gathered to say a few words about Cedric. Campfires sprouted among the rubble. A tantalizing scent wafted from the cooking fires.

  But all thoughts of eating vanished when Naomi touched my waist. I dragged my attention to the gorgeous woman whose eyes reflected the deepest longing.

  “I never got to thank you properly, either.” A wry grin spread across her face as she tugged my jacket. The buttons unsnapped. “We’re safe because of you.”

  My cheeks burned. “Naomi, you kicked the Storm King’s ass. I was just your backup.”

  “That’s what I like about you, James.” She touched my bare skin, her mouth close enough to kiss. “You gave me the courage to stand up to him. Without you, I’d still be alone and hopeless.”

  I brushed her silky mane. “I’ll never leave you.”

  “You better not,” she breathed.

  My mouth crashed into her full lips as she ripped off my coat. Her tits soft against my chest, she kissed me desperately. I pushed her against the wall, hands roving down her curves. We only stopped making out to breathe.

  “Please tell me you’re staying.” I caught a strand of her long, black hair. “I need you, Naomi.”

  “Damn straight.” She blushed despite herself. “You can’t run this place by yourself.”

  Shit. “I have a half-dozen UI prompts I’ve been ignoring. Hold on.”

  A thick golden ring bounced over my health information.

  Your rebellion was successful!

  Reward: 1200 experience, 100 influence

  Title Claimed: Lord of the Spirelands

  Settlements: 7 of 9

  Region Location: Western Continent

  Many years ago, Atriok The Slayer claimed the Spirelands as the home for his tribe, instilling a legacy of strong, independent warriors. Throughout history, the Spirelands has been home to many soldiers. Legend has it that the rocky spires of this land the land are dragons’ teeth, snapping up from the earth to consume Atriok.

>   Spirelands economics are dominated by the production of iron, wool, barley, and hops. People of the Spirelands are fiercely independent and receive +10% unrest and a bonus to army Moral.

  Characters who have pledged fealty to the Lord of the Spirelands receive +15% experience while in the Spirelands and can set their respawn point as the primary settlement of the Spirelands.

  Feudal Rank Increase!

  You have overthrown the king, claiming the title Lord of the Spirelands. The Lordship of the Spirelands grants you the Feudal Rank of 2.

  New Title Gained: Lord of The Spirelands.

  Reward: 500 experience, 100 influence

  Well, that was…unexpected.

  A bevy of popups competed for my attention: Level Up, Quest Completed, and New Class Available.

  I was level 10 now, so I’d be able to choose an advanced class. Shrugging, I dismissed the notifications. The war was over. There was plenty of time to decide on that later.

  I searched the green hills interspersed with black spikes for a patch of farmland. Somewhere out there, Ed was starting a new life. He was one of hundreds—probably thousands—of trapped humans who needed help.

  They needed safety way more than I needed to escape. The girls had told me it wasn’t possible. Tom, whatever he was, advised me to accept it.

  Had I?

  “Am I interrupting?” Amy hesitated at the top of a stairwell, blushing.

  I loosened my arm around Naomi. “Join us.”

  The redhead climbed the few remaining steps and leaned over the ramparts. Naomi slid from my side to grab Amy, who broke into a reluctant grin.

  “Naomi’s hugging me,” she said, bemused. “I must look really depressed.”

  “Nah.” Naomi linked her hands around Amy’s waist. “You’re just cuter when you smile.”

  Amy swatted Naomi’s shoulder, laughing. “Don’t you dare.”

  Naomi winked at her.

  They were so different. Amy was the optimist and Naomi the introverted realist. Despite their differences, they were friends. We’d slain a demon, conquered two castles, overthrown a tyrant, and healed a deeply broken man.

  It wasn’t the adventure I signed up for, but it was still a hell of a ride. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was doing something important. I was making a difference in a way I never had in the real world. Lives were depending on me.

  The girls were my priority.

  Amy, the sexy berserker with a heart of gold who could tear apart a man twice her size. And Naomi, the buxom brunette with fingers that caused a cataclysm of magical destruction.

  God, they were so hot. Were they both my girlfriends? If I was finally a rockstar, maybe they were my roadies. I smiled, picturing Naomi’s expression if I said that out loud. Both could chew me up and spit me out. I was proud of my girls. I belonged to them as much as they belonged to me.

  One thing was sure—I was crazy about them.

  I’d do anything to protect them. I trusted them completely.

  We were lovers and unquestionably a party of friends.

  “So what’s your plan now?” Amy asked.

  I shrugged. “I guess I’m the Lord of the Spirelands, except I know nothing about the Spirelands. We could fix up the castle.” I was starting to understand this world more. It was filled with politics, economics, intrigue… wars. “If I’m going to be a politician, I have to play it smart. People could get hurt.”

  “What about those who are already wounded?” Naomi demanded, sweeping her hand toward the campers in the courtyard. “We need to keep this safe for everyone.”

  “I’ll need all the help I can get.”

  Naomi brushed hair from her cheek, exchanging a look with Amy. They both communicated something with a glance, smiling.

  Then they bowed. Naomi pleated her dress and made a curtsy.

  Amy sank to her knee. “We pledge our fealty to you, my lord.”

  “Are you sure?” I searched their faces for doubt. “I-I don’t know what to say.”

  “Don’t let it go to your head,” Naomi snarked. “And don’t expect any more bowing and scraping. I’m doing it for the experience bonus.”

  She winked, and my heart did backflips.

  I was touched. I couldn’t speak.

  Finally, I broke the silence with a joke. “Should I break out my guitar and play the Song of Seduction?”

  Amy rolled her eyes, but Naomi smirked.

  “I had a different threesome in mind.” Naomi bit her lip, blushing. “Depends on how many clones you can make.”

  “Naughty.” I played it cool, but my pulse galloped ahead at the thought. “But if I’m loaning you duplicates, you have to take me, too. You can have one clone and one me.”

  “Two duplicates and you. Final offer.”

  “I’ll consider it.” I faced Amy “What about you?”

  “What?” Amy shrieked. “Don’t rope me into your orgy plans!”

  “Give it some time.” I grinned as she burned a shade of fuchsia. “Maybe it’ll grow on you.”

  “No deal, lord of lust! I’m not some hapless lady-in-waiting.”

  A threesome with the girls would probably be in my dreams for the next week, but they could wait. A bevy of pop-up icons reminded me of the epic amount of work awaiting us.

  “So, Lord of the Spirelands. Aside from threesomes, what else do you want to do?”

  “I have a few ideas.” I strolled from the ramparts, heading down the stairwell. “Let’s talk about them over dinner.”

  I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to being a bard. My rock star kingdom was just getting started.

  * * *

  Thank you for reading Bard to the Bone! It would not be possible without the love and support of my girlfriend, cover artwork by Kevin McGrath, editing by Bonnie McKnight and support of LitRPG readers and fans like yourself!

  I hope you enjoyed my debut story and are excited to see what James and the girls do next. Hint: can’t let the castle be a ruin forever! If you'd like more information about my books, please sign up for my newsletter. And join the Cid Banks Crew, my Facebook group, for a sneak peek at my next release, Monster Quest!

  You’ve inherited a monster farm!

  ...and the chance to date seven gorgeous bachelorettes.

  After stumbling into his late father’s possessions, John is transported to a quaint village in a rural, video game world where hunting, capturing, and raising monsters is a way of life. Repairing the farm comes first. So does seducing Heidi, a plucky, beautiful girl who knows her way around a farm...or should it be Marie, the mayor’s gorgeous daughter?

  John must win their hearts, slay and breed monsters, and rebuild his father’s farm to save their village from destruction!

  For fans of Stardew Valley and Monster Hunter with giant monster battles and harem elements.

  Gamepedia

  Character Classes

  Mage

  Strength: 2 Willpower: 6

  Reflex: 4 Charisma: 4

  Start HP: 16Start MP: 11

  True masters of magic, Mages value intellectualism and intensely study of all schools of magic. Mages specialize not in devotion to a single magic source, but in intelligent application of a wide range of sorcery.

  Can Equip: Daggers, Staffs, Wands, Arcane Armor

  Can learn all spells.

  Priest

  Strength: 3 Willpower: 6

  Reflex: 3 Charisma: 4

  Start HP: 18Start MP: 11

  A Priest is a spellcaster who chooses to devote themselves to a single school of magic, casting spells based on their faith and intuition. Their devotion (or pact) to a single magic source makes them experts in that field, but in exchange are very limited in what magic they can use from other schools.

  Can Equip: Daggers, Swords, Maces, Hammers, Staffs, Wands, Shields, Arcane Armor

  Can learn spells. At least half of spell points must be with Pact.

  Templar

  Strength: 5 Willpower: 5

&nb
sp; Reflex: 3 Charisma: 3

  Start HP: 22

  Templars train to wield both powerful weapons and magic that augments them in battle. As a hybrid of mages and soldiers, they battle foes that a specialist may not be able to overcome. Some wield weapons imbued with exotic magics, while others may use spells for defense and support.

  Can Equip: Swords, Maces, Hammers, Axes, Spears, Staffs, Wands, Shields, Medium Armor

  Can learn spells.

  Paladin

  Strength: 6 Willpower: 4

  Reflex: 2 Charisma: 4

  Start HP: 24

  The toughest and most heavily armored of soldiers, a Paladin is a master of defensive combat. Toughness of mind and body are necessary as a paladin, as their strength lies not in avoiding attacks but in weathering them and delivering a crushing retort.

  Can Equip: Swords, Maces, Hammers, Axes, Spears, Greatweapons, Shields, Heavy Armor

  Warrior

  Strength: 6 Willpower: 3

  Reflex: 4 Charisma: 3

  Start HP: 24

  A Warrior wields the largest and most powerful weapons, using their great strength to crush their foes. These ferocious fighters specialize in physical attack, and are an unyielding powerhouse on the battlefield.

  Can Equip: Swords, Maces, Hammers, Axes, Greatweapons, Shields, Medium Armor

  Duelist

  Strength: 5 Willpower: 3

  Reflex: 5 Charisma: 3

  Start HP: 22

  Strength alone is not enough in combat, and a Duelist uses both martial prowess and highly trained reflexes to dispatch their foes. Moving with unmatched speed and precision, a Duelist considers combat to be a form of art.

  Can Equip: Daggers, Swords, Spears, Staffs, Bows, Basic Exotic Weapons, Medium Armor

  Rogue

  Strength: 3 Willpower: 2

  Reflex: 6 Charisma: 5

  Start HP: 18

  Stealth, cunning, and subterfuge are a Rogue’s greatest allies. Although frail, they are quick on their feet and adept at avoiding damage while striking at enemy weaknesses.