“Thank you for your Word,” Layla said.
“Let us take to memory, Ephesians chapter 3, verse 20 as I take my seat. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. Stop worrying, people. You are children of God, and God takes care of His own. Go forth from here and walk in God’s blessings.”
The congregation began to mingle and talk as they left out of the sanctuary and headed to their cars.
“How did you enjoy the service?” Layla asked as they slowly exited the sanctuary and walked into the parking lot.
“It was actually quite good. He knows the Word. He preaches where I believe just about anyone can understand where he’s coming from. That’s what I like rather than some of those preachers who use words that they don’t even know the meaning of.”
“Our senior pastor is the same,” Layla happily replied, “only better.”
Ten minutes after leaving church, they turned into the parking lot of the Olive Garden. Being that it was midweek, they didn’t have to wait in line to be seated. The hostess seated them at a table near the center area of the restaurant. They chose their food items and drinks, and then concentrated on each other.
Dennis reached across the table and caressed Layla’s supple hand. His expression grew serious and Layla looked uncertain about what he was about to do or say. My God, he doesn’t want to see me anymore. I knew it. I should have seen it coming.
“Look, baby, after spending time with you these past months, I think it’s time that I tell you what I’m feeling. I mean, really feeling,” Dennis said.
Layla licked her licks nervously after chewing the tender buffalo strip.
“You know I’ve been thinking about us, and what you mean to me. And I’m not going to even lie. I love you, Layla; I really, really love you.”
This time Layla’s lips parted in total surprise at Dennis’s confession. Love? He loved her? Was she dreaming this whole scene? She’d never heard those words from any man other than a family member. Dennis continued to talk, and Layla hoped she didn’t have a stupid look plastered on her face. She felt her hand start to tremble.
“I don’t know where you are when it comes to me, he continued, “but that doesn’t even matter. All I can say is that I can’t keep hiding my feelings. The more I see you, the more I want to see you. The more I’m with you, the more I want to be with you.” Dennis’s words sounded heartfelt, and the look in his unwavering eyes revealed total sincerity. Layla swallowed. Somehow she seemed frozen, seduced by the words pouring from his sweet tasting lips. “Just to make it clear, what I’m saying is that I don’t just love you but I’m in love with you, Layla.”
Layla shook her head from side to side and moved her hand away from his. “I don’t know what to say. How can you say you love me? We’ve only been hanging out and spending time together for a couple of months or so. I don’t understand you. But I do want to tell you that I don’t want to play games, Dennis. I’m way too old for that.” She observed the somewhat awkward look that appeared on his face. His brows closed in together, and a line appeared between them while his mouth opened ever so slightly.
“Game? Is that what you think this is? I know it seems like more time should have passed before I started talking seriously to you about love, but I couldn’t hold it back. I used to be one who scoffed when others talked about love at first sight. Now I believe it for myself because the first day I laid eyes on you, I felt a stirring within.”
Dennis touched his midsection. “I couldn’t explain it then, and so I tried to push it out of my mind. But each time I saw you, it returned. I found myself thinking about you on my mail route, anxious to turn down your street; hoping I’d see you coming out the door, anything just to get to see you.”
He reached across the table and used his hand to cuff underneath her chin. His touch made her a little sensitive. One part of her felt the strength in his hard working hand as he caressed her chin. The other part of her tried to focus on the turkey giblet drooping from her neck. But Dennis never seemed to act like he was uncomfortable when it came to her size. All of her inhibitions were self-imposed, and somehow, if she were going to return his love, she had to learn how to love herself first and foremost.
“Dennis, that’s so sweet of you to say.” She eased back just a little out of the reach of his hand, and he retracted it back across the table. “This is all new to me. Please listen and try to understand,” she said. She wanted to be as sensitive as possible. No way did she want him to think that she didn’t care for him because she did. “I like being with you. I like talking to you, laughing with you. I like watching you and just being in your presence. I want to hear your voice every day,” she confessed. She reached for the napkin on the table and used it to twiddle. “But to be honest, I don’t know how to respond back to you,” she admitted with lowered eyes and her body stiffened.
“Didn’t I just tell you that I didn’t know where you are regarding me? It might take time for you to feel the same way. If that’s the case, then I want you to know that I’m going to spend every moment I can, showing you how much I love you. I’m going to pray that one day you’ll know how wonderful it is to love another person unconditionally. I want that person to be me, Layla. One day you will love me just as much as I love you. Until that day arrives, I won’t pressure you in any way. But I ask you to do one thing for me.”
“What is that?” Layla’s emotions felt out of whack suddenly as she tried to digest all that Dennis had confessed.
“Just let me love you. Don’t worry about loving me back. Will you do that for me?” He looked so endearing.
His open admiration and admittance of love for her soon brought out a smile. “Yes. I’ll let you love me.” She pushed away the remaining plate of food like she’d lost her appetite.
In a joking manner, Dennis pushed it back toward her. “Uh-uh, you’re going to eat that. I’m not paying for you to eat a buffalo strip and push the rest away. It’s time to celebrate. Now eat up.”
Layla laughed out loud and tilted her head back. Then she picked up her fork and they started eating, laughing, and talking again.
On the way from the restaurant, Layla felt exuberant. When he arrived in front of her apartment, Dennis stepped out of his car. Layla was used to remaining in her seat until he walked around to open her side of the door. He followed the routine and extended his hand out toward her. He didn’t release it, but used the other hand to close the door. Hand in hand they walked to her apartment.
Layla pulled her key out of her purse and unlocked the door. Like he’d done many times before, Dennis led her inside the cozy apartment. This time, when he closed Layla’s door behind them, he turned and pushed her up against it. He rushed forward and his lips covered hers hungrily. His hands explored her flesh with expert execution, like a skilled surgeon. She embraced him, unable to resist the passion emanating from him.
With one move, he had turned her around. While he continued to kiss and caress her, he walked her backward to the sofa and gently eased her back until her knees touched the sofa and she sat down. Planting himself beside her, she listened to his string of love moans and his desire for her was sure.
Unlike Mike, Dennis was loving, gentle, and sensitive. He took his time. True to his word, though she enjoyed his affection, she didn’t feel under pressure to engage in sex with him, and he didn’t try to force himself on her. He seemed to be content kissing her face, her eyes, her neck, and her cleavage. His enjoyment was more evident when she felt how tenderly he caressed her body.
“I love you,” she heard him tell her. His voice sounded enticing and sexually charged. “I love you so much,” he said again as he lightly pulled on her bottom lip. He leaned back and exhaled. “Let me get outta here.” His smile was broad.
He stood and Layla viewed the depth of his excitement as he reached down and pulled her up. She stood against him, and once more, he bathed her in kisses. When he stopped
this time, she could clearly see how flushed his face had become, and could only imagine how hers must have appeared.
She could see in his body language that he wanted to take things all the way. He wanted to show her how much he loved her. But he wouldn’t, although she knew that if he insisted, he might be able to push her beyond the limits she wanted to go with him. Their time would come. And when it did, she believed there would be no turning back for either of them.
Dennis stopped kissing her and grabbed hold of her hand again, and walked toward the door. “I had a good time with you tonight.” He touched her hair and kissed her on the tip of her pointy nose. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“Sure.” Her voice seemed unsteady. Was she slurring?
Dennis let go of her hand and opened the door. “Until tomorrow.” He walked away. When he got inside of his car, he saw Layla still standing at the opened door. He blew her a kiss. “Bye.”
“Bye,” she waved and returned his air blown kiss with one of her own.
×
She closed the door and leaned against it. Layla inhaled and exhaled deeply with her eyes closed with satisfaction and the thoughts of the night. The phone rang and brought her to reality.
“Hello,” Layla spoke softly into the phone.
“Girl, what is wrong with you?” Kacie laughed into the phone.
“What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong with me. I just had a funny thought before the phone rang,” Layla told her. “What’s up?”
“Nothing, not really. I’m folding some clothes I washed earlier. And then I remembered you said you had a date with Dennis tonight.”
“Yep. I did. We went out for dinner. I had a fantastic time. He told me that he’s in love with me.” Layla said the words quickly.
“He said what?” Kacie asked, sounding just as surprised as Layla did when he told her.
“He said he’s in love with me.” Layla sat on the edge of her bed and began fanning her face with her hand.
“Did you tell him that you love him too?” asked Kacie, curious to hear Layla’s obvious response.
“No. That’s it, Kacie.” Layla was silent.
“What do you mean by, ‘That’s it, Kacie?’”
“I mean, I couldn’t tell him something that I don’t know. We haven’t been seeing each other that long. And I just didn’t feel right telling him that I love him. I want to be sure that he’s sincere. Plus I need to be sure of myself too.”
“You know what, Layla? That’s what makes me so mad at you sometimes. You make mountains out of molehills. The man confesses his love for you, and you know good and well that you’re in love with him too. For goodness sakes, it’s all you ever talk about. Me and Envy used to listen to you go on and on about this new gospel group, or a new gospel CD, or the songs that you were anxious to sing at church. Everything was about singing, the church or about church and singing,” Kacie said sarcastically. “Now you call me up to tell me that Dennis, not good for nothing Mike, but Dennis admits that he’s in love with you, and all you can say is you want to be sure about how he feels. The man told you how he feels,” Kacie yelled into the phone. “You are some kind of crazy.”
“I don’t see it like that. I’m thirty years old, going on thirty one. I am not about to be played by some man I’ve barely known for three months,” Layla explained in a loud voice and stood up from the king sized bed. She began to pace back and forth at the edge of it. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t. I’m sure I already know what you’re about to say,” Kacie retorted.
“Every one of your children’s daddies, well, I bet they told you the same thing. They came with that, I love you line, and you fell for it every time; hook, line, and sinker. Now you have six, soon to be seven children and six baby daddies. I don’t want to be like that. I want to be with a man who truly loves me, Kacie.” Layla’s voice sounded pleadingly like she was struggling with her emotions. “Please, please don’t be angry with me for coming to you like that.”
“I’m not.” Kacie’s tone sounded saddened and maybe even hurt. Was it because everything that Layla said was true about her? Was it because she had believed in yet another man’s love for her and now was again about to be left holding the bag…or maybe it would be better to say, holding the baby. “I hear where you’re coming from, and I understand you. I don’t want you to go through what I’ve gone through either. Don’t get me wrong; I love my children. I love all of them. But I just keep getting things twisted. I keep wanting to believe that when I meet a guy and he begins to tell me he loves me, that he’s being for real. But it never happens because I fall for the lies, and then jump in the sack with him. And he hangs around long enough for me to get pregnant, then it's over. He skedaddles.”
Suddenly, Kacie’s defeated tone perked up like she’d been injected with a dose of B12. “Honey, but that’s aw’right, ‘cause I take care of my children myself. And as for Deacon, I’m not through with him by a long shot. He’s going to get what’s coming to him. And from now on, any man that steps to this sister, better come correct because I’m not taking their crap anymore. It won’t be but a few weeks before I drop this load, and then it’s on.” Her voice lashed out, but Layla didn’t take it personally.
“That’s good. It’s time out for letting men walk all over you, Kacie. And that’s why I have to be careful. I’ve seen the hurt on your face far too many times to get caught up in mind games with Dennis. Shoot, I don’t have to look at you. I can look at myself. The way I allowed Mike to use me over and over again like a kitchen mop until he almost took my life. No more. I deserve more. I deserve to be treated better. So what, if I’m overweight?”
“I hear you, girl.” Kacie chortled. “But Mo’Nique’s got it going on. Look at Mo’Nique. Every time you see girlfriend on TV, she looks confident, and she plays some good roles. The girl is a multimillionaire and she in good health. She says it all the time,” Kacie surprisingly defended the actress.
Layla disagreed. “Let me tell you the real deal. I don’t care what Mo’Nique’s says about fat girls versus skinny girls and all that other stuff. The broad knows, and I do too, that she lying when she says she’s happy being fat. I’m fat and so I can say without any hesitation whatsoever – that sista knows she does not want to be the size that she is. I bet she can’t tell you the last time she could see her own private parts unless it was through a hand mirror.” Layla chuckled and so did Kacie. “And she sure can’t bend down and tie her shoes with comfort, or wipe her butt good for that matter.”
“Ewwww, that’s so gross.” Kacie made a funny sound and laughed again.
“I’m just telling you what God loves – the truth.” Layla took a deep breath and started laughing over the phone once more.
Still giggling, Kacie replied, “I’ve never thought about stuff like that.”
“You’ve never been obese, Kacie. But on a serious tip, I’m going to have to learn how to completely love myself before I think about giving my love to someone else. I know it’s going to take a lot of prayer, self-discipline, and daily affirmations. But I’m willing to do it. In the meantime, I’m going to continue to see Dennis. He’s good to me, and he’s good for me. But the moment I detect any insincerity in him, he’s out.
Yeah, I hear you. Hold up a minute,” Kacie said. Fifteen seconds later she returned to the phone sounding like she was in an entirely different mood.
“What’s wrong with you?” Layla asked with concern filling her voice.
“I just had a contraction. Oooo, that hurt.”
“You need to call the ambulance,” Layla said frantically. “Goodness, it’s time like these I wish I could drive.”
“No, don’t sweat it, girl. It’s not time. Believe me, as many babies as I’ve dropped, I know when it’s time to go to the hospital. Now what was I saying before the contraction hit me?”
Layla spoke up, “Girl, I don’t remember. You got me all scared and stuff.”
Layla yelped. “No! For real? Ohmigosh! What happened?”
“I just did it a couple of weeks ago. I wasn’t going to tell you or Envy until I heard something, but so far I haven’t heard a thing from her. I just knew she would have called me or want to see me by now. If nothing but for curiosity.”
“And Deacon? What is he saying? I know he seems quiet as a church mouse when he’s at church.”
“I heard he’s been serving at the main service. He knows that I’m not only pregnant with his child, but he should know by now that I can go from sweet to insane in less than a second. If I come to church and I see him, it’s no telling what I’d do. I might just stand up in front of the church and let everybody know about him. Tell all of his business.”
“You know you wouldn’t do anything like that.” Layla snickered.
“Wanna bet? I heard that the first lady of one of our sister churches got up one Sunday morning and told all about the pastor and his mistress. People said she put all her husband’s business out before the church like she was spreading margarine on toasted bread. I think a lot of his members left the church after she did that. First Lady or no First Lady, she let him know she wasn’t the one to be messing over. And that’s exactly how I feel about Deacon. I’m tired of being walked on. Time for payback, baby.”
“Vengeance is mine says the Lord. You know that, Kacie.”
“Yeah, I know that, but I’m sorry. I’m just going to have to plead for God to forgive me because I’m going to give God some help this time around.”
“Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Don’t let the devil get you entangled in some mess. You’ve got your kids to think about,” Layla told her.
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