Beautiful Ugly

by Shelia E. Bell

  It lasts longer and in the end, gravity will get us all. -- Johnny Depp

  Three days after giving birth to Kyland, Kacie was discharged from the hospital. She didn’t bother calling Envy, but she called and told Layla that she was leaving the hospital.

  “I know you aren’t going to drive home, are you?” asked Layla like she knew already what Kacie’s answer would be.

  “I’m leaving the same way I got here; in my car,” Kacie answered adamantly. “So you don’t have to worry about being there to wait on the kids to get home because I’ll be there in plenty of time.”

  “I know they can walk home, but Envy was still picking them up from school and Keshena from day care,” Layla reminded her.

  “Well, she won’t have to ever worry about doing anything for my kids. I’ll call the school and let them know they’re walking home. They get out a little early when they have to walk home.” Kacie had already called Envy, but she didn’t answer her cell phone or her home phone. Envy’s assistant told Kacie that Envy had left for the day. Kacie couldn’t care less, and she still left messages for Envy at every number she called, telling her not to pick up her kids.

  “What are you talking about?” Layla asked innocent like. “It’s just one more day. And the kids love riding home instead of walking. I don’t know what’s going on or why you’re sounding so upset.”

  “Stop flogging, Layla, because you know darn well what’s going on with that judgmental broad. I know Envy couldn’t wait to tell you about our conversation the other night. Don’t even let the lie drip from your lips. You’re not like her, Layla, so don’t even try to be.”

  Kacie was right. Layla had learned from Envy about the big blow out between the two friends. It was the reason she’d been having Dennis to drop her off every afternoon at Kacie’s house to wait on Envy to bring them home.

  “The three of us are friends. We’ve been friends far to long to let it end over some disagreements. All three of us are imperfect. Shoot, everybody, for that matter, has flaws and shortcomings. As much as I love God, look at what I’m doing. I’ve been sleeping with Dennis; I’ve slept with Mike before that, and I’m a glutton. All of it is sin in the eyes of God. We are all mixed up and messed up. That’s why I’m glad God sent Jesus to die for me, and you, and anyone who will believe in Him and accept Him as the sovereign one.”

  Kacie stopped Layla’s conversation. “The orderly just came in to get me and the baby. I’ll call you when I get home.”

  “Okay, but we’re going to talk this thing out when you get here. I know the kids are going to be happy to see you and their new baby brother.”

  “Yeah, probably. Look, I really have to hang up. He’s waiting to take me downstairs to the pathology lab,” Kacie said insistently. “Deacon is supposed to be meeting me there to do the DNA test before we leave the hospital.” She ended the call and looked down at the baby she held in her arms and said in a baby voice, “You’re not going to walk out on me or your son, Deacon Riggs.” The orderly pushed her to Pathology and parked her wheelchair out of the way of others who were coming and going. Kacie waited while Kyland slept peacefully.

  Moments later, Deacon walked in. The three of them sat in the waiting area until Kacie and Deacon’s names were called. The test took less than ten minutes. Immediately afterward, Deacon looked at Kacie with fire in his eyes, before he turned away and walked out of the lab.

  Kacie and Kyland were met by another orderly who wheeled them to the hospital exit. She conned the orderly into believing that a car that she saw about to pull up to patient loading and unloading was her ride, and that there was no need to wait. She got out of the wheelchair, and with Kyland in his carrier, she walked slowly to the patient parking lot, got in her car and drove home with a huge smile on her face.

  Layla had called Dennis as soon as she finished talking to Kacie. “Hi, Dennis. Kacie just called and told me that she’s on her way home from the hospital, so she’ll be here when the kids get home. When you finish your route, will you come by to get me?” she explained to him with a wisp of excitement. He eagerly told her that he would be there shortly. Taking care of six children was tough. Layla couldn’t understand how Kacie did it and worked a part-time job. And she certainly couldn’t understand why she got pregnant again. When Envy told her that Kacie didn’t even bother to get her tubes tied after she gave birth to Kyland, Layla was just as flabbergasted as Envy. Layla had no idea where Kacie’s mindset could be.

  She talked to Dennis until she heard the sound of a blaring horn. Layla looked out the window and saw Kacie’s car pulling up in the driveway.

  “Baby, I’ll see you when you get here. Kacie just drove up. I’m going to go out and help her with the baby. I love you. Bye,” Layla said happily and hung up the phone.

  Layla oohed and ahhed over Kyland and helped Kacie unpack the few items she brought home from the hospital. The baby carrier the hospital had given the baby was placed next to Keshena’s old crib that Layla had set up in Kacie’s bedroom. The two ladies talked a while and Layla prepared the kids and Kacie some dinner before Dennis arrived to get her.

  Kacie called Deacon on the phone as soon as Dennis came to pick up Layla, and before her other kids made it home from school. Deacon didn’t answer his cell phone.

  “Kyland, Mommy’s going to get what’s due to you. Believe that.” She sat on the bed and bent over to kiss the soft spot on his head, then she scrolled through her cell phone and found Deacon’s home number. He was going to be surprised that she had it. But just like she’d found out his home address, she had done some snooping until she got his home phone number too. She was too tough for words to describe. She dialed the code on her phone so whoever answered on the other end wouldn’t be able to see the number she was calling from.

  A woman who Kacie assumed was Deacon’s wife answered the phone. “Hello.”

  “Martha? Martha, girl, is this you?” Kacie fronted. She almost burst open with laughter, but managed to hold it back.

  “Hello. Who is this?” The woman’s voice sounded irritated.

  Kacie responded with silence, then answered the confused sounding woman with, “Martha, this is Kacie Mayweather.” Kacie spoke in a calm, mild voice. “I called to tell Deacon that his son and I are home from the hospital. I know Deacon told you that I gave birth to his son, Kyland, didn’t he? The paternity test has also been done, so you’ll officially be Kyland’s stepmother real soon.”

  “How dare you call this house with your lies? You’re sick, you know that? When the paternity test comes back, you’re going to really look stupid because it’ll prove that baby isn’t my husband’s.” Martha shouted through the phone so loud that Kacie couldn’t help laughing. She was doing exactly what she wanted; getting underneath Martha’s skin.

  “I’m not crazy. I know Deacon wants you to think that I’m a tramp just because I have other children. I am not a liar. I know the father of every one of my children, just like I know that Deacon is Kyland’s father. You may not want to face the truth, but it is what it is, Martha. And you need to accept it because you’re going to be seeing a lot more of me and Deacon’s child. I’m not like some of these other baby mammas. I wouldn’t dare keep Deacon from seeing his one and only son. Since the two of you don’t have children, I know Kyland is going to mean the world to Deacon. But do me a favor, Martha.” Kacie finally stopped talking, waiting to hear what Martha would say in response.

  Silence.

  “Okay, be like that. You don’t have to say anything. But I’m asking you, pleading with you and Deacon not to spoil Kyland too much when he’s with y’all.” Kacie continued to harass Martha. “Girl, wait until you see him. He is so handsome and looks just like his daddy, but I don’t need any spoiled children. Ummm,” Kacie pretended to yawn. “I’m tired. Remember to tell Deacon we’re home, and he can come by whenever he wants to. Bye, Martha. Nice talking to you, girl.” Click. Kacie ended the call.

  The paternity test results were to be announ
ced at Memphis Juvenile Court today, exactly two weeks after the test was administered. Kacie carried baby Kyland in his carrier. She was glad that Layla had agreed to come along with her.

  When Kacie walked into the overcrowded main lobby of Juvenile Court, she couldn’t tell if Deacon had made it before she had. She looked at her cell phone. It was less than twenty minutes before the hearing. She walked down the hall and stopped at the wall where the court dockets were listed. After finding her name and the Division she was supposed to be in, she turned and headed toward the area where the paternity tests were done. Then she saw them. Deacon and Martha were sitting in the waiting area. Kacie suddenly became enraged. She hoped that Deacon would have come by himself. She didn’t want Martha to have anything to say about her, especially after Kacie saw how Martha seemed to be staring at her deformed legs. She switched her eyes away from the classily dressed woman and walked to the receptionist.

  “I’m here to get the results of a paternity test,” Kacie said so loud that everyone in the waiting area could probably hear her. My name is Kacie Mayweather. My baby’s name is Kyland Mayweather…for now. His father is right over there.” Kacie pointed and gloated this time. Kacie heard someone in the waiting room giggle.

  “Ma’am, have a seat,” the receptionist stated. “Someone will be calling you and the petitioner in just a few minutes.”

  “Thank you.” Kacie and Layla sat directly in front of Deacon and Martha on the other side of the waiting area. She turned Kyland’s carrier around so that it faced Deacon and his wife. She wanted to make sure that Deacon and Martha got a good look at the beautiful little boy who was a tiny replica of Deacon. Kacie folded her arms and started people watching.

  Today was the first time she’d seen or heard from him since he came to the hospital. Kacie was sure that Martha would have told Deacon that she had called his house the day they were discharged from the hospital. If she did, he still hadn’t bothered calling or coming by. Kacie had taken Kyland and the other kids to church the same week she got out of the hospital. She hoped that she would see Deacon but he wasn’t at church, which was completely out of character for him. Layla said one of the choir members told her that after the gossip spread about him having affair with her, that Deacon transferred his church membership to his wife’s church.

  “Miss Mayweather. Mr. Riggs.” The receptionist sounded like she’d been doing this for years. Her voice was lifeless.

  Kyland began to stretch and twist in his carrier. It was time for his feeding. Deacon looked at the infant, and then at Kacie before he turned and walked off without uttering a word. Placing a pacifier in his mouth to soothe him until she got inside the courtroom, Kacie glanced around the waiting area for Deacon but he and his wife were already gone inside. Deacon hadn’t bothered to offer his help at all. He could have asked to see him or hold him. Kacie pushed the door open and caught a glimpse of Deacon and Martha sitting toward the front of the courtroom.

  Kacie sat on the other side of the courtroom with Layla, and popped a bottle full of her pumped breast milk into Kyland’s mouth. Stunned when she saw Deacon and Martha come over to where she sat, Kacie’s mouth flew open.

  “Oh, you want to see your baby? Don’t worry, I’m not going to be the type of mother who keeps a father from his child,” she said smugly.

  “If by some miracle that baby is mine, which it isn’t,” Deacon pointed at Kyland and said to Kacie in a harsh voice, “I’m petitioning for sole custody. Your reputation pitted against mine will prove that you’re an unfit mother.” He placed his arm around Martha as she stood right next to him. “We’re going to raise him the way he deserves to be raised. He’s going to know what it is to have a real mother and father. If he’s my son, he’s going to be raised in the fear and knowledge of God.” He squeezed Martha closer to him and kissed her on the cheek.

  For the first time since she’d had the baby, Kacie looked stunned. She never thought Deacon would fight for custody of little Kyland.

  “You should see your face now,” he mocked. “You look like you just got your hand caught in a car door.” He and Martha walked hand in hand back to their seats, and Martha turned and looked back over her shoulder at Kacie with a revengeful smile.

  Kacie remained silent and numb, while Layla whispered, “Don’t let him get you upset. He’s just trying to bully you.”

  The calling of their names by the bailiff and the order to stand in the front of the judge brought Kacie’s mind back to the reason they were there. She stood and grabbed Kyland’s carrier while Layla and Martha remained seated. Following so close behind Deacon, Kacie tripped, but managed not to let go of Kyland’s carrier. She felt like her entire body had gone numb. The possibility of Deacon and his wife raising Kyland was too much for her to think about. Kacie was prepared for whatever Deacon might try to throw her way. Since yesterday’s church service, she believed nothing was going to come against her, not even Deacon and his resources. She would allow him to be a father in Kyland’s life and spend as much time with him as he wanted, but no way would she hand Kyland over without a fight.

  “Miss Kacie Mayweather?” The counselor looked over her glasses, and her striking sea green eyes looked in Kacie’s direction. “Mr. Deacon Riggs?” she repeated the same gesture with him. The tests performed on the two of you and the child whose name is Kyland Dyson Mayweather reveals that you, Mr. Deacon Riggs…are not the baby’s father.”

  Kacie almost fell down. Her head went straight into her hands as she sat Kyland’s carrier on the floor next to her. Her screams could be heard along the hallway outside of the counselor’s office. Deacon’s inflammatory remarks pounded in her ears and he used his hands to emphasize one vial word after another by pointing at her.

  The bailiff’s attempt to calm the couple down was unsuccessful. Kyland began to scream. Another bailiff was called upon to settle the courtroom controversy.

  “No no, Deacon, you are Kyland’s father. I swear. There’s been some mistake,” Kacie cried. Her teary eyes pleaded with someone, anyone to listen to her. “Ma’am,” she told the judge, “we have to take another test. This is his baby, I tell you.” Kacie lost her balance and fell to the floor, next to the baby she wanted so badly to believe Deacon fathered.

  Layla rushed up as fast as she could when she saw the unpleasant look on the bailiff’s face. The sight before her caused Layla to burst into tears.

  “May we leave now?” Deacon said to one of the bailiffs while Martha looked at Kacie with a disgusted grimace. The look appeared to be one of victory mixed with disgust.

  “I told you that baby wasn’t mine. I told you.” He pointed an accusing finger at her. “Now look at yourself. You’re a disgrace. While you down there on your knees hollering, you need to be praying and asking God to forgive you.”

  “Move on, sir;” the bailiff ordered. Martha stood on the outside of the door with a triumphant look plastered on her face. Kacie watched as Deacon and his wife, hand in hand, marched down the hall like they’d just won the lottery.

  Layla and the bailiff helped Kacie to her feet. “Come on, calm down, Kacie,” Layla told her as she wiped her own tears away. She picked up the baby carrier, and with her other hand, she held on to Kacie.

  In the car, Kacie sobbed all the way home. While Kyland pulled on his pacifier, Layla called and told Envy the news. Envy promised to meet them at Kacie’s house in an hour.

  Stumbling into the house, Kacie didn’t stop until she collapsed on the living room couch. “Oh Layla, how could this have happened?”

  When Envy arrived an hour later, Kyland was asleep, but Kacie was still in the den, crying and bashing herself for what the tests revealed.

  Envy rushed to Kacie’s house. When she entered, she knelt down and embraced her dear friend. She felt Kacie’s hurt as she relived in her mind the way she felt when she left her baby in a school lavatory some fifteen years ago. She cried with Kacie, remembering the terrible things people were saying about the mother who deserted her own n
ewborn baby in a cold, nasty toilet. Envy cried for Kacie because she understood what it meant to be hurt. She understood what it meant to feel humiliated, to feel hopeless and to be thought of as less than every one else. Unlike Kacie, no one ever detected that Envy was nine months pregnant at only thirteen. She covered her small pregnant belly with shirts she wore outside of her skirts and pants. Not even her mother acted like she noticed a change in Envy during that time.

  To Envy, Kacie was the bigger woman because Kacie never thought about giving up her children, or having an abortion, or leaving them alone in a bathroom to die.

  “Envy, Layla…I feel so ashamed. I thought it was Deacon’s baby. I knew it was. I only slept with one other person during the time I was with Deacon. I didn’t think it mattered because it was just that one time and, oh God, I’ve ruined everything. I’ve made a fool of myself.”

  Layla stood near the two women and analyzed her own life. Maybe she didn’t have seven children and seven baby daddies. Maybe she had slept with only three men in her thirty years. But what about her own past? She wasn’t perfect, never had been and never would be. She admitted to herself that she should grasp and take hold of today. She had someone who loved her, while she was fat and while she was a glutton. Dennis loved her unconditionally, and for that, she should have been thanking God instead of acting like she didn’t feel the same about him.

  Layla continued to watch Kacie and Envy, and for the first time in a long time, she was reminded that life is short and each of God’s children have their lives recorded with a date stamped that they would meet their Maker. It was time for a change. It was time to stop feeling sorry for herself and start loving herself the way Dennis loved her and the way God adored her. It was time.

  After an hour or so, Kacie finally fell asleep. “I’ll stay here and watch the kids when they get home,” Layla told Envy. “I know you need to get back to work.”

  “I wanted to make sure she was going to be all right first,” said Envy, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”