Arrow's Hell

by Chantal Fernando

  “Not this time. I have a feeling that you know things, and right now I want some answers,” I tell him in a strong, even voice.

  He laughs without humor. “I knew Arrow wouldn’t tell you.”

  “Tell me what?” I demand. “I’m sick of all this. Just tell me what’s going on!”

  He sobers. “I never wanted to hurt you, Anna, I hope you believe that.”

  I don’t like the sound of this.

  “What did you say to Arrow that day?” I ask.

  Talon expels a heavy sigh. “It’s more what I showed him.”

  He reaches into a drawer and pulls out a piece of paper. He stares at it once before sliding it across the table. I pick it up with trembling hands and read it from top to bottom.

  “Who is Samuel Pierce?” I ask him, my bottom lip trembling.

  Talon suddenly looks unsure. “My stepfather.”

  I swallow hard. “What? I don’t—”

  I was looking at a birth certificate.

  My birth certificate.

  I didn’t even know I had one. I just assumed my mother had lost it.

  It said that my father’s name was Samuel Pierce.

  All I felt was confusion.

  “My mother married your father. I was a baby at the time, and your dad raised me like I was his own,” he says gently. “This is what I showed Arrow. I knew it would break him—and he fuckin’ deserved it after what he did.”

  I swallow hard after hearing the name of my father for the very first time in my life.

  “I can’t believe this,” I murmur.

  “Why did you tell Arrow and not me or Rake?” I blurt out.

  He cringes. “I wanted to kill Arrow. But I didn’t, because of you. So I guess it was my fucked-up way of revenge.”

  “How is this revenge?” I ask him, brows scrunching in confusion.

  Talon takes a deep breath then. “Anna, you know how my dad died, right?”

  “You call him your dad?” I ask, not knowing how to feel about that.

  He nods. “I do.”

  I was Samuel’s daughter, but I didn’t know him; neither did Rake. Yet Talon, who wasn’t of his blood, got to be raised by him and call him Dad.

  Talon’s dad was the president of the Wild Men MC, I remember being told that.

  My mind races trying to figure everything out, but then it hits me.

  The Wild Men MC killed Mary. Faye told me they broke in one night when all the men had gone on a run, leaving only women and prospects in the clubhouse.

  Arrow got his revenge . . .

  By killing their president.

  My father.

  I cover my face with my hands, struggling to breathe. My chest burned, the pain so strong I’m surprised I wasn’t in flames.

  I’d never met my father, and now I’d never get the chance. A feeling of loss overwhelms me. Losing something I never actually had in the first place.

  I don’t know how to process this. I am confused; I am hurt. I still want Arrow. Why didn’t he tell me? This should have come from him. He knew everything this whole time and kept it to himself. Instead, he slowly pushed me away, knowing the second the truth surfaced he may lose me. I shake off my thoughts of Arrow and decide to ask the other questions that I need answers for.

  “How long have you known?” I almost whisper.

  “That you and Rake were his children? Dad told me a few months before he died, actually,” he says, his hand rubbing his chest.

  I bite my lip, gathering courage to ask the next question. “Why didn’t he want us?”

  Talon grimaces, then looks down at the table. “As far as I know, Dad was married to my mom when he was with your mother. My mom was his old lady, and yours was . . .”

  “His whore,” I supply in a hollow tone.

  He sighs. “Anna, it wasn’t—”

  “Why didn’t he ever come and see us?” I demand. “What, did he just fuck Mother and run when Rake was born? Then come back to get her pregnant with me and leave again?”

  He’s silent for a moment.

  “I don’t know exactly what happened. I know that Dad saw Rake when he was a baby. Then my mother found out and she told him if he ever saw your mother she would leave him and never come back.”

  My jaw clenches. “So your ‘father’ decided to stay and look after you, his wife’s kid, and ignored Rake and me, his own blood.”

  Talon looks ashamed, his face falling. “I didn’t say it was right, Anna, I’m just telling you what happened.”

  “And how was I born then?” I ask.

  “Dad kept seeing your mother, now and again,” he says with a shrug. “His weak moments, he would say.”

  I was born because of a “weak moment”?

  Just great.

  “So he knew we were out there, with a druggie for a mother, but never bothered to do anything about it. Wow, he sounds like a real winner.”

  Talon stays silent.

  “Is your mother still alive?” I ask him.

  He nods. “Is yours?”

  I shake my head. “Drug overdose.”

  Lost in my own thoughts, I have no idea how long I’ve been silent for.

  Talon clears his throat. “Say something.”

  “So you knew I was your stepsister and you still kidnapped me?”

  “You weren’t hurt, and Ranger got the shit beaten out of him for hurting you,” he says. “And to be honest, I wanted to see what you were like.”

  I run a hand down my face. “You’re fuckin’ insane.”

  “And you, Anna, blew me away. You were brave, smart, and beautiful. Trust me, it was Dad who missed out on you, not the other way around.”

  A small smile plays on my lips. “I think you’re right about that one.”

  “You have his eyes, you know,” he says quietly.

  “Yeah, my mother had brown eyes,” I say, staring down at my plate. “I always knew I got them from my father, whoever he was.”

  “Your mother never told you?” he asks.

  “Nope, she always said she didn’t know who he was.”

  He scowls. “I’m sorry, Anna.”

  “Don’t be,” I tell him. “It wasn’t your fault.”

  I feel tired.

  Exhausted and empty.

  Hollow.

  “Talon, could you please take me to Lana’s house?” I ask him.

  He swallows, standing and walking over to me. “I’m sorry, Anna. Come on, of course I’ll take you there.”

  I try to smile, but I think it comes out as more of a grimace.

  How did everything get so messed up?

  TWENTY-SIX

  WHEN I’m safe at Lana’s, tucked into the guest room bed, I check my phone. Fifty-two missed calls and twelve messages. Not wanting anyone to worry, I send out a message to Rake.

  With Lana. I’m safe.

  He replies instantly.

  Thank fuck! I was worried, Anna.

  Another message.

  I’ll come and get you.

  Yeah, that isn’t happening.

  No, I’ll come back tomorrow, I reply.

  Fine, love you. We need to talk.

  Love you too, bro.

  I don’t read Arrow’s text messages, or check my voice mail.

  I also don’t sleep.

  * * *

  Lana sticks her head through the doorway. “Morning!”

  “Morning,” my voice thick with fatigue.

  She frowns, opening her mouth, then shaking her head. “Did you know that Arrow is sitting on my front porch?”

  I sit up. “What?”

  How did he even know where Lana lived?

  “Yeah, no idea how long he’s been there. Mother saw him when she was on her way to work and sent me a text.”

  I blink slowly a few times. “Did he scare her?”

  Lana smirks. “No. Apparently she was worried about him because he looks like hell.”

  Typical.

  Lana’s mother was a saint—and she definitel
y passed on her kind and gentle nature to her daughter.

  With a frustrated puff of breath, I get out of bed and walk to the front door. When I open it, I see Arrow sitting there, back against the wall, his head lowered. He looks defeated, and I hate it. He looks up when I clear my throat.

  “What are you doing here, Arrow?”

  He wets his lips. “You wouldn’t return my calls.”

  “And for good reason,” I snap. “I didn’t want to talk to you. How did you even get here? You better not have ridden, because you were drunk as hell!”

  He winces, and I wonder if he’s still a little drunk.

  “Tracker dropped me off,” he says, running his hand through his hair. “Can we talk?”

  I look around. “Why didn’t you push that woman off your lap?”

  He swallows. “She just came and sat there. I was so busy feeling fuckin’ sorry for myself that I didn’t even think. She was just sitting there, Anna, it’s not like we were fucking. You know I’d never be unfaithful to you.”

  “And how do I know that? You weren’t even faithful to Mary, and you loved her.”

  His expression is etched in pain and guilt. “Who told you that?”

  “Is it true?” I ask him.

  “Not exactly.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Mary knew I wasn’t exclusive with her,” he says, pushing himself off the ground and coming to stand in front of me. “When she died, I knew I’d screwed up. I should have treated her better. But I also learned my lesson, to never take someone for granted. Which is why I would never do that to you.”

  “Janet told me,” I say. “And then I walked in and saw that woman get comfortable in your fuckin’ lap while you just sat there, like it was a daily occurrence that someone else’s ass was pressed against your crotch!”

  Arrow curses and lifts his hand to my cheek. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt you, Anna. I never did.”

  “Don’t be sorry, just tell me why you didn’t think that I deserved to know about my father. Or that Talon is my stepbrother, or that . . .”

  I trail off.

  “Or that I murdered your father?” he says in a broken voice. “Fuck. I wanted to tell you, Anna. I was going to tell you.”

  His voice breaks. “But how the fuck do you tell someone that? Especially someone you love?”

  He loves me?

  “I don’t know, Arrow, but I know that I wish you’d told me,” I reply, looking away from him. I sit down on the porch steps, defeated.

  “I didn’t want to lose you, Anna. I can’t lose you. I need you to know that if I knew . . . if I knew, I wouldn’t have done it. Fuck, Anna. I didn’t know. I didn’t even know you then . . .

  “Fuck,” he mutters, going to his knees before me. “I do love you, Anna; do you know that?”

  My heart grips on to his every word.

  “I wanted to say it back to you when you said it to me, I wanted to . . .”

  “Why didn’t you?” I ask.

  Why now? I want to ask. Is he just telling me because he thinks he’s going to lose me?

  “Because I knew I didn’t deserve to say those words, and I don’t deserve to say them now, but I’m selfish when it comes to you.”

  Arrow hugs me, wrapping his arms around me tightly and telling me how sorry he is, how he never knew, how if he could change it he would.

  I believe him.

  “You didn’t know, Arrow,” I tell him. “But I need some time alone, okay? I just need to work through all this.”

  He looks like his heart is breaking, but I need to fix me now. I can’t fix anyone else when I’m feeling so broken.

  “Anna, don’t ask me to leave you alone. I fuckin’ can’t.”

  “Just give me a few days, Arrow,” I tell him. “Please.”

  “Okay,” he whispers, kissing my forehead, then swooping down and kissing my lips once.

  The gentle kiss feels final.

  Like he’s saying good-bye.

  I can feel the want, the need for me, pulsating off him.

  I want to tell him everything is going to be okay—but I can’t right now.

  I’m too confused.

  Blade picks Arrow up, and I get back into bed.

  I roll over and bury my face into the pillow, crying for the father I’d lost but never had in the first place, and for the man I loved but didn’t know if I could forgive.

  * * *

  The next morning, a large bouquet of flowers and a huge plush tortoise arrive at Lana’s front door.

  I know they have flowers for every occasion, but I didn’t think there was one for finding out the man you love murdered a father you’d never met. Orange tulips, however, were beautiful and my favorite.

  The note reads:

  Don’t give up on me. I love you. —Arrow.

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  THE next day, Rake enters my temporary room at Lana’s, coming to sit next to me and pulling me into his arms. “How you feeling?”

  I shrug. “I don’t really know, to be honest. Numb, I guess. You?”

  He sighs. “I never knew him, Anna, and he obviously didn’t care about getting to know us. He left us with our bitch of a mother, and he had to have known she was drug-fucked. Arrow, on the other hand, has always had my back, is my brother, and will always be there for me.”

  “Do you not care that Dad is dead because he was president of an enemy MC?” I ask him, frowning. It was obvious the club meant more to him than a father we never knew. How come I am having a harder time looking at it that way?

  “Sometimes you got to make your own family, Anna,” he says, smiling sadly.

  It is a sad truth. I don’t want to think about Arrow having killed my father, but I’d never even known the man. I love Arrow, and he’s always been good to me.

  “When did Arrow tell you?” I ask him.

  “After the two of you spoke. He’s devastated, Anna,” he says, looking upset.

  “What are you going to do about Talon?” I ask him. I couldn’t think about Arrow right now.

  His eyes harden slightly. “Nothing. He kidnapped you, Anna, and he knew you were his stepsister. That speaks louder than any words could. He’s not even blood related to us anyway—just because that bastard raised him doesn’t mean shit. And it’s his mother’s fault we never had a father in the first place.”

  “That’s not true. It was our dad’s fault he wasn’t there for us, not Talon’s mother. Although she sounds like a bitch too. Wow, our dad had really bad taste in women,” I say with a bitter laugh, then continue. “I wish Talon had just told me the truth instead of putting everything on Arrow’s shoulders.”

  No matter how wide and broad they are.

  “I think he wanted to put it on Arrow, revenge for killing his father. He laughed in Arrow’s face and told him that now he was going to lose someone he loved.”

  I lift my head off his bicep. “He said that to Arrow?”

  “Yeah. Arrow feels like shit, Anna—I’ve never seen him like this in his life. Not even when Mary was killed.”

  I don’t know what to say to that.

  He killed my father. Shouldn’t I want nothing to do with him? But I don’t feel that way. I can’t imagine my life without Arrow.

  “I’m so confused right now,” I tell Rake. “I don’t know what to do, or how to feel.”

  “Do you love Arrow?” he asks.

  “Is it that simple?” I ask, sniffling. “Of course I love him.”

  Rake smiles kindly. “I think it is.”

  “Love isn’t always enough.”

  Rake nods. “I suppose so. But think about this—our father never bothered to see us, to check on us, to see if we were alive or dead. What has Arrow done for you?”

  “Taken care of me, always.”

  Rake kisses my cheek. “I’m not telling you what to do. I love you no matter what, you know that.”

  “You’re taking this a lot better than I am.”

  Rak
e chuckles. “My man didn’t kill our father.”

  I slap his arm. “No, but your brother did.”

  “Arrow is my family, Anna, not this Samuel guy. Nothing will change that,” he says, standing up. “Do you want me to get anything for you?”

  “No, I’m okay, I just want to be alone for a while.”

  Rake’s jaw clenches, but he nods once before leaving the room.

  Two questions play in my mind.

  Can I live with the fact that Arrow killed Samuel?

  And can I forgive him completely? He doesn’t deserve to have me throw it in his face whenever I am angry or upset.

  It’s all or nothing.

  I don’t sleep a wink that night, my mind filled with Arrow.

  SEVEN DAYS LATER

  “Get out of bed, Anna,” Lana says, pulling the sheets off me.

  “Why?” I ask, still half asleep.

  “Because you can’t sleep all day; get your lazy ass up!”

  I open one eye. “Did you just yell at me?”

  She grins. “I did, so now you know I’m not messing around.”

  I force myself to sit up and throw Lana a dirty look.

  She just smiles.

  “So I got a phone call from Faye today, about starting as Clover’s nanny.”

  “Are you considering it?” I ask her. “It’s good money.”

  “I know,” she replies. “Really good money, but there’s one problem.”

  I sit up straighter. “What?”

  “I’m going to have to be around Tracker and Allie. I don’t know if I can handle that, to be honest,” she whispers, looking down at her feet. “The thing is, I could really use the money and I could help Mother out with some of the bills too, so I want to take it.”

  When I’d suggested Lana to Faye, I didn’t even think about Tracker.

  Crap.

  “You don’t have to do it—”

  Lana sighs. “He’s just a man, right? Maybe someone new will catch my eye.”

  I didn’t want to tell her that if she felt for Tracker anything like what I felt for Arrow . . . well, I doubted those feelings would be going away any time soon.

  “It’s your call, Lana. I could ask Reid if he needs someone else,” I suggest, but I can see in her eyes that she’s already decided to take this job.

  She nods. “The money is . . . wow, for part-time work, and the times she needs me fit in with my class schedule.”